Bay 12 Games Forum

I appreciate the quick responses. Thank you.

So basically I downloaded malwarebytes and they did a scan. The only thing they found was a video game emulator on the desktop I've had on this thing forever. Master of Orion 2, of all things, which has never caused me any grief in several years. I said to ignore it this time. Sticking to free version ....

Even though that was the only thing it found, stuff seems to be loading properly again. (Possible this is just the intermittent nature of it).

So what I'm hearing so far is:

1.) Comparing tracert command readouts from my various machines and see if there is a difference?

2.) Consider taking the physical machine to an actual in person technician? I don't have a computer repair person I know. Is this something Best Buy can likely deal with or? Just look for a local business? Suggestions?


Much appreciate your consideration and suggestions. Thank you.

I mean, ideally, but like, I heard, "very powerful," and "total jerk," in there. What if this guy just straight up retaliates? Or what if he's sneaky about it but still retaliates so he's not accountable?

I get it, like that's the way it should be but.... I mean I've worked places where if you don't play whatever B.S. game they demand of you, then they mess up your life.
I would hope there's some way femmelf could guard against that, but I don't know what it is.
There's not a whole lot I can say except I hope it all works out for you.

Yeah, I probably do have unresolved issues with them and they probably would use that against me, again. Not a saint but I didn't do anything that bad to them, at all. I told him he isn't making any sense and that he needs to explain things, but you were right, he won't.

So far it hasn't changed how he communicates, and I haven't brought up the "if I ask her what this is about, what is she going to say?" thing. You may be right, but it just seems like a hornet's nest. Those two have always fought like hell, all through my life and theirs. Basically they're too old to get divorced and have been for a long time, if it's about them not getting along. In the 70s, after 45-50 or so years of marriage, multiple health issues, and now memory problems, what is he going to do to, leave her? This is not really a practical option with any solution. You hate to say it, but his choices are catching up with him at the end....

Sorry about your situation man. I can sorta kinda relate. I think you had some really good points. They must not trust me to know what is going on, and depending on what it is (that I don't know), I might not want anything to do with it if I did know. They don't want to tell me anything but just want me to do things without knowing. And of course no benefit for me, not even money necessarily but even being nice or hanging out decently or even a reciprocal favor (I would not trust one of them to pick me up). There's really no reason for that.

I've heard about "boundaries," but it's like they haven't. Every time I try to mention anything like that, they act like they don't know what I'm talking about, and I'm nuts or something. I'm not asking everyone to be sober around me, but I don't want to be in a place where everyone is basically completely drunk. It wouldn't be impossible for me to come around the beginning of something, before everyone got plastered, and leave before everyone got plastered. I won't say don't have a drink at all, but there's a difference between a drink, and all the drinks. I know it is better for me if I am not around completely irresponsible drinking. Just chill out and ease into it for like an hour or so. Put it this way, I can see where I got it from. They'll do big things for other family members, but not even little ones for me. Basic respect that should be shown to basically everyone....

And yeah, they've basically abused their family positions to extort me for a long time. Except now I'm not giving them what they want and it is a complete shock to them. All of this is a bitter pill to swallow: your own family being toxic, exploitative and basically not really caring about you....

O yeah. Gaslighting, on basically everything. Along with crushed self image/worth to go with their narcissistic abuse. Explaining things different ways isn't necessarily the bad part. The bad part is what they're explaining: they're awesome and we all suck.... It's amazing. I haven't had contact with them since I started this thread. The issues are still out there of course, but it's funny how people don't scream at one another like they do. I still hear it in my head (not hallucinating it, but just remembering it) because that was kind of their goal: make you remember their bullshit and accept it.

The holidays are going to suck. I have some friends that are having me over for thanksgiving, but christmas is going to be shit. I am probably not going to be going over their place. I'm mostly kind of numb to it, as I haven't really seen my family for a long time. Still kinda sucks, and it gets to me sometimes but I'm used to how it sucks. I look back and realize every thing was basically horrible, especially around the holidays. Sometimes no one would come together, and sometimes, worse, they would and maybe the police got called and maybe they didn't. Not really looking for sympathy on this one, but it's kinda a weird problem to have to solve.

I'm happier sober overall, and I know it's better for my for health, emotions, mental state, financial, and all that. Oddly it comes with weird costs, and I think people may be right that they feel oddly threatened by me trying to better myself/want to take whatever material or immaterial thing I have. They have before and they want to do it now.

Dad is not going to tell me what is going on, except that he believes Mom and sibling are up to some shady stuff. Mom is flat out not going to tell me anything, (and really dad isn't either). I don't have solutions to his problems, but they are also problems he got himself into and wouldn't do anything about. Now he basically wants me to not only solve his problems, but solve them without knowing what they are. I can't believe it but we've basically moved from completely unreasonable/maybe even impossible, into completely nonsensical/no way to do it anyhow.

Hi.

Really weird situation. My parents are older (70s). I am an adult (30s), and live on my own, etc. My parents and family are pretty abusive and toxic. Always have been. I got out with some (former) substance abuse issues, and I have not drank since "T" got me sober in late 2016-2017. So I am looking forward to my 5 year chip soon.

First thing, my toxic family's extreme abuse is part of how I got addiction issues and I do not want to ever have those again. They keep trying to get me to drink and do that sort of thing, and they know I had issues and  can not drink anymore. I've told them and they do not listen or they hear me but do not care. This and prior abuse is one of many reasons I do not have much contact with them. On the rare occasion I do have contact with them, how do I get it through their heads? Some people are just better off not drinking and I am one of them. Nothing they say or do is going to change that. I don't get how they can't accept this.

Ideas on getting people/family to just accept that you don't/can't drink as OK?

Second, my toxic parents are toxic and I have very little to do with them, after several years of trying to help them out (none of my other brothers and sisters ever did). It is likely they are up to some shady crap involving my (abusive) old dad with developing memory issues, and my (abusive) old mom. It's possible she's abusing him financially and perhaps in other ways. I do not know, but he's calling me up out of the blue asking me to "pick him up," and basically get him out of that situation/away from mom....

* Not sure how confused he is.
* Initially not sure what he wanted/where he wanted to go (apparently he thinks his car is at another property they have and he wants a ride there to get it).
* Not sure what he thinks he is going to do / where he is going to go if I give him a ride to where his car is (where he thinks it is, at their other house).
* Not sure if his license is valid (he says it is).
* He was very abusive previously and I do not feel I owe him much (so was she).
* Not sure how he is going to manage his health conditions if he just bolts or something and I have absolutely no ability to handle that (Money, medical knowledge, or anything).

I have no information to really work with here, and no one will tell me anything. It is possible there might be (primarily financial, but perhaps other?) abuse going on.

I am over an hour away and I have no real ability/way to get involved, at least without being seen as the bad person. At this point, do I give him the phone number for the local department of aging and tell him to tell them what's going on? Then have him call them and ask for an elder law lawyer and possibly the police or something depending on what's going on? (He won't tell me).


Limited information. Odd circumstances. Old wounds. No idea what to do. Thoughts?

Mask issues have always been about misinformation and the unwillingness to manufacture them.

We did/do need N95s. The cloth masks were better than nothing. Surgeons wear surgical masks for a reason; you don't want them not wearing them during surgery.

Masks work if you're using high-filtering ones like N95s or whatever, but barely anyone does, so unless you're willing to go ahead and pay the bill for buying everyone an ongoing supply of N95s, then no, in effect they do not work. The basic cloth masks and disposable surgical masks have no statistically significant benefit.

Yes, the sensible would very much like everyone to have an ongoing supply of N95s. The corporate overlords don't want to manufacture the amount we all need, despite what could have easily been an overwhelming demand to justify the supply. Even if government guaranteed payment. This is about abuse of power with misinformation even at a $loss
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/white-house-says-it-will-distribute-400-million-free-n95-n1287672

"The Biden administration will make 400 million N95 masks available for free at thousands of locations across the country, a White House official said Wednesday, as health experts stress the importance of high-quality face coverings to protect against the omicron variant of the coronavirus." ~ Is what a lot of people would like to do if people would get out of the way and play ball. They won't.

The only people I know who really understand this whole covid mess basically say we botched it. The doctors, nurses, lawyers, healthcare administrators, and lab techs dealing with this are all just kinda burnt out. We could've gotten rid of this like we did with smallpox and polio. We're kinda screwed now. It's not going anywhere and will probably mutate to different variants too, again.

From what I can tell, it's all out of context. Yes, the little surgical masks were never really good enough, because we really needed everyone in N95 masks for a few months. Still better than nothing but not good enough. Somehow getting people good masks wasn't going to happen, even though we could've reorganized things and America is allegedly the best economic production country. Couldn't get the good  masks though, because whoever somehow plans what gets made (a person, or "the market," or whatever) wasn't going to really do that. There shouldn't have been any shortage of good masks. You'd think "supply and demand" or whatever would've led to production of actual filter masks or something. I thought we were supposed to be able to make/buy things. Nope.

I know one person I trust who had a plan to fix this at the beginning but she said they'd never do it because of politics.  It would've been a pretty ok plan. Making tons of actually good masks to boost the economy and fight covid and then mass producing the vaccine when we came up with it.... Taking cruise ships they were scrapping (because that industry was hit hard) and making them into hospital ships. It was surprisingly detailed. But she was right too many people wouldn't play ball.  You can't tell them anything or some of them will get mad enough to hurt you. Or in the case of a bunch of truck drivers, protest in Canada's capital by blocking everything off with semi trucks. It's just kind of a shit show. I know enough to know I'm not brilliant. I don't know what else to call it.

I feel like I'm the only one still wearing a mask around me. I have N95 ones. Vaxxed. Boosted, until we need another of those. All I can say is I'm really grateful all this pushback wasn't around when they were vaccinating against polio and stuff. There's no point arguing with people about asymptomatic spread or how a "mild" case just means you don't go to the hospital but someone else might die from it still. I have no idea anymore. "Common sense" was supposed to be better than this. Nothing makes sense.