Bay 12 Games Forum

If we go to the prison, we should nab some candlewax on the way. If we're going for the old lady, we should grab a weapon(knap a stone?)

Also, what's the difference between the two 'tell the nobles we're a fort leader' options?

Edit:
A risk with presenting this amount of options is that we might get a widespread answer, with a large shared first place, like what what happened with the drinking poll in the first few days. But let's see what happens.

Edit2:
Anyway, I say we go get then elf(And the gobbo, ofcourse. Gobbo's are usefull.). He's our best shot at dethroning the warden at the moment.

That was more of a rhetorical question to get the readers to say things.

If that's the case, well, I personally aspire to take down the warden, and possibly most(if not all) of the fort.

Edit:
The survival of brewster supercedes the above.

I think you need a skill upgrade. How about getting a Mood?

But what artifact shall we make? I purpose a platinum mace with menacing spikes on the handle. I'd call it "upyoursoverseer"

Edit:
Or maybe we could go fell on the old woman and make a bone memorial slab of her? I'd call it "Wasntme"

If we made a container out of fire, woul we gain skill points for woodburning, or something better?

The solution is simple. We find a dwarf with a monopoly on something(should be easy enough with the warden's aversion to competition) and put him out of bussiness. Maybe using the sock of flames. Then we quickly fill the gab. I believe there aren't many leatherworkers here, so that would be a good bet.

Aye. Dwarven wine is the true underdog here. Water is a jerk, though. He doesn't deserve any votes.

They're brainwashed and beyond saving. We're doing them a favor. By killing them, that is. I don't see how intercourse would improve either of our situations at the moment.

We need to escape this fort and find the rest of our friends. Maybe recruit someone for seventh member, since Nil's dead?

Once we escape the fort, I suggest paying for a wish. If we wish for the 'wizard' to join us, he cannot refuse. And if use the phrase 'untold wishes' in our statement, he won't want to. Otherwise, any female dwarf gets my preference. We need to repopulate dwarvenkind.

However, getting out is the hard part, here. Or more specifically, getting out with the brainwashed Tok.

Complain is a rather harsh word. If you're looking for responses, try phrasing it differently. Complaining gives a slight undertone of being unwanted, you see. (constructive) Criticism and feedback are far more inviting terms, assuming you want advice and not just deposit your story and leave. I can see where you're coming from, however. Criticism on something you made is never nice; you put time and effort in it and you want it to be good. But being open to it is the only way to improve.

Now, for my two cents:
Your story seems to lack a bit of exitement, or tension. It reads kind of like a summary.  I'm everything but an expert on writing, however, and I wouldn't know how to leviate this or weither this is an actual issue.

Could you also divide your story in paragraphs? It's sort of a wall of text at the moment, and that makes it unapealing to read.