Bay 12 Games Forum

Ah, so that’s why you needed gainer
Sign this one too

pension? Healthcare? Yes! What about DENTAL PLAN?
let’s sign

Examine some of the shrines in more detail, then head into the cloister

...
Awaken, Kung Fu Man. Your story isn't over. AWAKEN!
...Huh?

How long has it been since you started reading this damned file? Pages on pages on pages of superfluous trivia, fun facts, and other various nonsense that easily could have been gleaned off of the trivia section of Chef Man’s Wikipedia page. It’s information overload. Reading and reading, your eyes glaze over. Days pass. Months. Years. You’ve entered an endless recursion of time. Pages on pages on pages. Days. Months. Years. You’ve entered an endless recursion of time. No progress. GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, MAN!

You snap back to reality. You see an inexplicable shifting image of various melting faces hover in the middle of the room. It’s something not of this dimension.  It speaks without speaking. “NECROMANCY! YOU WERE FORSAKEN, BUT NOW YOU AWAKEN. REMEMBER AND REJOICE!” The vision disappears. Did that really happen?
 
"Necromancy?!? I don't understand! Was I dead?"
Nobody answers you and that thought is quickly erased from your brain. How strange.


What’s the info? Well it turns out that Chef Man will be hosting a private function at the exclusive Chateau Briand out in wine country, where fanciness and crippling alcoholism come together in a decanter made of snobbery. You take note of some important details:
Firstly, Chef Man will be unveiling his latest prized possession: YOUR FRIDGE! Perfect. You can crash his party, get your fridge back, and introduce your kung fu fist right into his pompous face.
Secondly, a politician of some note is supposed to be the guest of honor; scant references to some local mayor. It's easy to assume a heightened level of security will be present; definitely more than the rabble you smashed earlier.
Thirdly, it is confirmed that the Colonel did receive an invitation, though he did mention disassociating from Chef Man (No doubt to spare himself from your wrath). However, this just might be your ticket in. Finally, the event is happening THIS VERY NIGHT!! So you better think up a plan quickly!

“You done?”
You turn around and see three slightly drunk figures: a muscular man in a dapper white suit and two others in chicken suits. Oh right, it's the Colonel and his two chicken henchmen. You teamed up with them to ransack a fast food establishment, remember?
“We got a change of plans. I called up the boss and he was very happy with the results. Looks like you read the file. Good. The Bossman has been sayin’ somethin about you and him having goals in alignment or something like that. Anyways, he’s decided to send Colonel as rep.”
“You?”
“No, not me, another Colonel.”
“Damn, how many Colonels do you guys have anyway? Is it like a job title?”
“Didn’t we have this conversation already? A couple of hours ago”
“Maybe? Sure didn't feel like a couple hours ago...”
“Quit screwing around and listen for a sec, the boss already has a plan.”
“Alright, what’s up?”
“You ride with the Colonel, undercover as one of the chickens. Get all nice and deep inside. All up close and personal. Then we cause a distraction and then you do what you do best.”

A) You son a bitch, I’m in.
B) Undercover? Incognito?!? I’d rather just show up and punch everyone’s face in!
C) You call that a plan? Explain further!
D) Say something else…

We’re no where near ready for a task of this magnitude at the moment....
Maybe in time, when we’ve developed our skills more

I’m sorry about your daughter, but if this warlord killed three other people and didn’t suffer even one scratch, then I don’t think I’ll fare much better. I’ll think about this, though. You’ll get your revenge, in time.

Dying with a 0-2 record
What a shame!

Hey bartender! What does one do to get some money around here?