Bay 12 Games Forum

I'm hurting myself again. Before I was barely scratching myself but it turns out that you can actually break skin with scissors if you try hard enough. When I hurt myself everything seems to make sense for a while, I can actually act with a degree of normality when I do it. I know, logically, that I need to or at least should talk to somebody but there's nobody that I trust or like enough to tell them about it. I can't talk to my parents, they'd be pissed off at me and probably tell me that I've got no idea what I'm talking about. If I say anything to my friend's they think I'm joking. Our school only has one counselor and I legitimately think he's a moron who, judging by past experiences and other things, would be more likely to try and convert me to Christianity than try and help me.

I'm sick of myself. I'm just a worthless piece of shit. I've always been a procrastinator but have generally managed to actually get things done eventually. Turns out I can't even do that anymore since it seems that I'm shit at absolutely everything now and can't seem to focus on anything anymore. My parents won't be any help, whenever I've tried to talk to them they just tell me to grow up. I fucking hate myself I really, really do. I don't even know why I'm posting this to be honest, I just feel like I should for some reason that's as stupid as I am.

I've been feeling more awful then I usually do today. It's not much fun.

Today is worse than usual for self-loathing and wanting to die-ness. I'm sick of everyone, including me, hating me. I can't get up the effort to actually do anything at the moment because I just fuck everything up and I just want to fucking die or not have to deal with myself anymore because I'm a worthless piece of shit. ANYWAY, that's my piece of daily angst and self-hate.