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Messages - Whackjob

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 7
16
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: encrusted ammo ?
« on: June 16, 2013, 07:35:07 pm »
Pure bragging fuel.  That's it.

Goblin 1: "Yeah, forget that place.  Bob went to sack that place last week."
Goblin 2: "What, they had nothing worth taking?"
Goblin 1: "Wrong in the worst way.  They shot him before he could get close."
Goblin 2: "So?  That's part of the hazard doing this sort of work."
Goblin 1: "Well, the bolt was made out of solid gold, had diamonds in it, and menaced with spikes of silver and platinum."
Goblin 2: "Hrrnnnng?!"
Goblin 1: "Right.  If they were shootin' us with something like that..."
Goblin 2: "I couldn't imagine the stuff they bother to keep."
Goblin 1: "Yeah, but my point is they got that stuff 'cause they've been managing to hold onto it."
Goblin 2: "Sod it."

17
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Roasts with 5+ ingredients bug
« on: June 16, 2013, 07:25:02 pm »
I believe it is because the same-ingredients are all differing quality levels.  No need to fix it... more ingredients and more used during preparation just mean more portions.  Food is not lost in cooking, even if there were 40 ingredients.   And it also has the happy side effect of costing more then the King's adamantine toilet bowl that menaces with spikes of alabaster and goat bone.

18
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Dwarven "Tax" Challenge
« on: June 16, 2013, 07:18:23 pm »
You cannot currently set taxes.  It was tried once, but the Dwarf workers simply wouldn't stand for it.


19
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Dwarven "Tax" Challenge
« on: June 16, 2013, 05:48:08 pm »


Wat?

20
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Trap design: dwarven blender (and a dwarven song)
« on: June 16, 2013, 04:24:42 pm »
Going to have to use something like this tonight.  Could have a pool underneath it all, a few Zs deep, with the bottom flight of stairs a few Zs up, and archer fortifications around a layer or two above the top of the water.  Let them sink or swim, and plug 'em with bolts even if they do.

#EDIT:  Ok, I have a question.  Let's say the cistern at the bottom is 3z layers deep.  We have five goblins swimming and alive at the surface.  Now, we throw a lever, cut a support, and drop a 3z plug of rock straight down on top of them.  What happens?

Will the jet of water reach above the top of the hole?
If we'd spiked the bottom, would the plug of rock impale them on the submerged spikes?
Would the goblinite bits get ground up by the rock and then aerosolized by the water jet?
Would the Dwarfhome planning and safety commission revoke your building permit?
Would the King insist on riding the next plug down?

21
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: How long for a Hammerer to hammer a criminal?
« on: June 15, 2013, 05:47:01 pm »
He has all of eternity.  He might get better.

22
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: How long for a Hammerer to hammer a criminal?
« on: June 15, 2013, 04:58:53 pm »
Hrm.  Vampires are too precious an asset to hammer into nothing.  You have someone who can infinitely train at anything.  You could potentially make him or her a legendary at everything.  I'd make a vampire the king if I could.

23
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: I now have 4 vampires in my fortress
« on: June 15, 2013, 04:52:41 pm »
Came in here to say this...

Quote from: jcd on June 15, 2013, 01:29:00 pm
1. recruit 2-3 of those
2. lock 'em up together
3. put them on training forever...
4. profit

... but then saw this, so I'll just "THIS!" this.  That's why I'm posting this.


24
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: I badly draw your reports!
« on: June 15, 2013, 01:15:17 pm »
Quote from: Noobazzah on June 15, 2013, 10:43:23 am
I just killed my neighbors cat in celebration. I hope he understands.

Just make sure you give them the resulting cat skull totem, and there should be no hard feelings.

25
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: The most horrible thing you've ever done in DF
« on: June 15, 2013, 12:46:04 pm »
I can't believe I didn't even get so much as a golf clap for the Minecart Oddity  :<
... might as well sell it to the freakin' elves.

26
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: The most horrible thing you've ever done in DF
« on: June 14, 2013, 09:47:28 pm »
Quote from: chris_strain on June 14, 2013, 09:23:52 pm
I still prefer wooden bolts. They take longer to die and train my militia at the same time. My next fort will be modded to use sentient remains and be at war with the hippies. Our primary economy will be elf bone crafts, farmed with elf bone bolts. By making the bolts out of elf bones, I'll be returning their fallen kin to them.. albeit at a somewhat fatal velocity. :)

This sounds like it requires a simulation.  STAND BACK!  I'm going to do SCIENCE!



Ok, nevermind.  This sucks.  I'll just take your word for it.

27
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: The most horrible thing you've ever done in DF
« on: June 14, 2013, 09:04:26 pm »
Quote from: chris_strain on June 14, 2013, 08:49:16 pm
I once spent the entire life of a fortress on peaceful trading terms with the elves... even.. saving them from gobbo ambushes at times.   :-[

I have since learned the error of my ways and always build my trade depot with airlocks and a means to fill the room with either water or a flood of crossbow bolts from my militia.

Not ironic enough.  Fill a minecart full of logs, then fire it shotgun style into them.
Live by the forest, die by the forest.

28
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: Insane vampire queen
« on: June 14, 2013, 06:54:47 pm »
Hah!  Only Dwarf Fortress can be complex enough to snarl well laid plans in this sort of manner.  Awesome.

29
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: The most horrible thing you've ever done in DF
« on: June 14, 2013, 04:18:21 pm »
The important thing, I suppose, is will dwarves intelligently use rideable minecarts to get to places, or will they just ride it to fill out a task?  If I use a cartjumper splashdown pool thing for an entrance, will dwarves know to use it to get in and out side?

30
DF Dwarf Mode Discussion / Re: The most horrible thing you've ever done in DF
« on: June 14, 2013, 02:45:39 pm »
Ok, now there's an interesting concept.  You can have a completely walled in fortress, no entrances or exits, but instead fire the dwarves through fortifications.  The only issue is doing so without great harm.


... splashdown pool?

Whackjob is taken by a fey mood!

Minecart Control to Urist VanHaul
Drink your rum and put your game face on
(Ten) Minecart control (Nine) to Urist VanHaul (Eight)
(Seven, six) Commencing countdown (Five), waterwheel on (Four)
(Three, two) Check the brake (One) and may Armok's (Blastoff) love be with you

This is Minecart control to Urist VanHaul, you've really made the grade
And the engravers want to know what shirt you wear
Now it's time to leave the cart if you dare

This is Urist VanHaul to Minecart control, I'm slamming into the wall
And I'm floating in a most peculiar way
And the stalagtites look very different today
Here am I hurled from a cart far above the floor
Microcline is blue and there's nothing I can do

Though I'm past one hundred thousand feet, I'm feeling very still
And I think my minecart knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much, she knows
Minecart control to Urist VanHaul, you've left the track, there's something wrong
Can you hear me, Urist VanHaul?
Can you hear me, Urist VanHaul?
Can you hear me, Urist VanHaul?
Can you...

Here am I flying through the air, far above the floor
Microcline is blue and there's nothing I can do

Whackjob has created Minecart Oddity, a snarky song that menaces with bad cadence and lacking creativity!

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