Bay 12 Games Forum

You see, this is not happy city.
In fact, the word "Dystopy" would be far too mild of a word to properly capture the Orwelliness of this society.

In fact, just take 1984 and multiply the awesome by a hundred.

Yarr.

Dwarfaholic charges at the Quadrgremlin!
It is surprised by the ferocity of his charge!

Thanks to rule 1387, rulebook IX, "We like ninjas!" edition, also known as the controversial "True stealth" edition, I have over the last few turns had a flaming dwarf sneak around the battlefield. I have had no need to declare this to the others, thanks to the aforementioned rule.

As we all know, fire has +5 legendary ambusher (see earlier posts), and, as we also know well, dwarves are basically mushrooms, seeing as they reproduce by spores (There is also the equally popular theory of telepathy, but I will discuss this later).

As you may well know, mushrooms adapt to their environments.
As this dwarf-mushroom notices it has a sneaking fire on it (This may take some time), it will adapt to the situation and learn as much as possible from the fire, getting superior sneaking skills too.
Thus, a legendary +5 ambusher !!dwarf!!.

/bow.

Also, if dwarves indeed do reproduce by telepathy, he will still gain legendary skills.
As we all know, each fire has a life. In some fires, this grows, until the fire becomes of Spirit of Fire. As these dwarves reproduce via telepathy, they have at least basic telepathic skills. Thus, they learn from the fire, and gain +5 ambush.

Now that I have proven that I do, indeed, have a sneaking !!dwarf!!, I will commence with the game.
As he is legendary, he gains attributes. Through sheer chance, they all go to toughness, making him super!!dwarvenly!! tough.

The !!dwarf!! emerges from ambush near Dwarven Malcolite's kittens. They all immediately adopt him, and run to him, setting themselves on fire.

The !!dwarf!! then goes to enjoy a drink at the still.

Also, as I have proved something that first seemed unlikely (see paragraphs 3-5), I gain 2448 extra points thanks to the "Runs around babbling" rule, which I probably don't need to list.

This raises my score to over nine thousand, activating the "Cliche remark" rule (Rule 1765, XIVeme rulebook, Caernarvon ruleset), forcing all creatures with [INTELLIGENT] to point at me shamingly.
As we know, dwarves are not intelligent, so my !!dwarf!! remains untouched.

Now that I am being shamedly pointed at, I activate the "Angsty nerd" rule (Rule 1, rulebook I, Pantshelm ruleset), making everybody hate me EVEN MORE.

Now I have two layers of hatred.
As planned...