Bay 12 Games Forum

 Result: BOLD, YOUNG ONE.

You Watch Calmly as The Object Strikes At You, preparing yourself against the attack.

Alpha Object Physical Attack Roll: 1
Karnewarrior Physical Dodge Roll: 6

Alpha Object Physical Damage Roll: 2

You Casually Sidestep the Vortex Beam and Kick The Alpha Object in the Time Crotch. It Bends In Half and utters a Cry Of Shock And Rage in the voice of A Thousand Damn Annoyed Souls.

Alpha Object Physical Health ?-2/?

 Result: CAR TRIUMPH

You Begin To Drool. Noble.

 Result: IRRELEVANT

You Wail At The Warrior with your Carpet Of Ordinary.

HmH Physical Attack Roll: 3
Karnewarrior Physical Dodge Roll: 4

Karnewarrior Casually Sidesteps Again, but Refrains from Punishing Your Groin Region.

 Result: 5

Right, then. So...

Since The Foot is your status effect it can also be seen to count as an inventory item for you. Therefore it counts as a strong-allied NPC.
Therefore you can order it to do things that seem reasonable.

Hey, leg guy. Scoot over in, uh... that direction, you say, pointing to the north.
Yes, Father. As you wish.

The Foot tries to obey your command. However, it also has the -3 movement penalty you have, and since it's natural movement is only 2, it's total movement is -1. Even though it cannot move anywhere in The Waiting Room, which counts as one area, it is possible for it to move negatively. In effect, it moves into the only direction conceivable, which is Back In Time. The Foot Recedes back into your stomach. You're still missing a leg, but at least the awkward conversations are over.

Status Effect Enhanced!
Missing Leg: Movement Penalty 1

Mental Heal Roll: 4

Mental Health -2/6. Wow, you really just... that was just weird. You're not sure you can bend the rules in that way for a while again, at least not without specifying it to yourself in your mind first.

 Result: 3

Good day, sir! you Exclaim.

The Object points Several Pairs Of Eyes in your General Direction. It seems angry, and Not In The Mood For Conversation.

What do you think of byzantine history, my good man? I hear they produced some fairly powerful mecha in their time, before their destruction in the Eighteenth World Eater Crusade.

The Object seems annoyed that you would Recite Basic History to it. Everybody knows of Byzantine Mechas.

You don't feel you're really making any progress here. Damn.

 Result: OBVIOUS

Well how do you think it went? Perfectly.

 Result: AUTOSUCCESS

Despite the fact you technically Could Have Acted this turn, you do not. Prudent. Or wait. It was that other one. Silly.

 Result: IRRELEVANT

HmH Physical Attack Roll: 5
Karnewarrior Physical Dodge Roll: 2

Karnewarrior Physical Damage: 1

Karnewarrior Physical Health 5/6. You Punch Karnewarrior In The Face lightly, causing a Minor Nosebleed. You then Bring Your Carpet under the Stream Of Blood and turn it around so it is Evenly Covered. You feel you will see the Results of this Action in about... One More Turn of the carpet in your hands.

Karnewarrior doesn't seem too mad about being Attacked, by the way. He just Stares Ahead.

 Result: 2

That's just Stupid. You've never even head of A Ninja with his Foot in his Stomach.

Although, of course, such a Ninja would Keep His Existence A Secret...

But Still.

Mental Damage Roll: 1

Mental Health -6/6. A Mouth opens in The Foot.

Father... I hunger... please feed me, it pleads in a Puppy-Dog Voice.
I am blind and deaf. Only you can help me, Father.

Oh this day is just the worst ever. Seriously, What The Hell.

Status Effect Enhanced!
Talking Foot In Stomach: This is so wrong. So very, very wrong. Movement Penalty 3, Charisma Penalty 4.

The Alpha Object goes through Several Iterations and then Lunges Once More at Thief^.

Alpha Object Physical Attack Roll: 11
Thief^ Physical Dodge Roll: 1

Thief^ Physical Damage: [ 2 * 2 = 4 ]

Another Mind Falls To The Reaper Of Thoughts.

The Alpha Object Iterates a Giant Arm Made Of Blades from it's Central Mass Point.
Thief^ Lunges At The Arm for some odd reason, and is Instantly Impaled. The Blades slowly Cover Thief^, turning into Feathers and then Letters along the way. The Arm then Retracts back into the Mass Center.

Alpha Object Killcount +1! A New Permanent Eye opens near The Mass Center. This one hangs in the air near the Center Point.

 Result: 3

You Pick Up a pair of Telephone Nunchuks from The Rack. You press the Dial-A-Martial Arts Training button, and Press The Phone to your Ear. You hear Soothing Music and a Soft, Feminine Voice.

You are number- five- seven- in line. Please hold. Your call is very important to us.

You are number- five- seven- in line. Please hold. Your call is very important to us.

You are number- five- eight- in line. Please hold. Your call is very important to us.

You Close The Phone and Put The Nunchuks Back with No Small Amount Of Distaste. This was a Minor Waste Of Time.

 Result: 6 [-> Bonus Action: Find Object]

You Move Back into The Fortress, and head Downstairs to The Door and The Athenians. They Look Up when you arrive.

Ah, Operative, we were just trying to open this giant, practically indestructible door. Would you mind helping us?

You Meditate On This for a small while. What would you have that could Help Open This Door?

All I have is this Gameswitch...

Euphemism's Eyes Widen.

You have a Gameswitch? Unbelievable! Which one is it?

Uh, Gameswitch #1? I think.

The Athenians Lighten Up considerably. Rock asks for You Gameswitch, and upon Receiving It he Carves The Door Open With Apparently No Resistance. He then Hands Back The Gameswitch.

Hm. It seems you didn't Get To The Device quite yet this turn.

 Result: 5

You Whistle a Merry Jetty as you Combine the Weapons Of The Fanatics, the Batteries In The Battery Room, and The Device created by Kagus into the Framework of your Gigantic Weapon. You will, however, still need Power, a Suitable Location, and Combining The Parts.

Creature Looted!x25
Large Item Lost!x2

Large Item(s) Acquired!
Gigantic Railgun Framework 3/6: This is gonna be big. Needs: Power, Location, Combination

 Result: 1

Urgh! You Suddenly Remember you are Incredibly Allergic To Milk! You Grasp Your Throat Comically and Fall Backwards over your chair. Angry Howard does not even flinch.

Physical Damage Roll: 3
Mental Damage Roll: 6

Physical Health -1/6. Mental Health -5/6. You Die A Painful And Humiliating Death at the hands of a Glass Of Milk.

You Perish.

Angry Howard raises an eyebrow.
You gonna pay for that glass of milk?

Glass of Milk killcount +1!
Glass of Milk gained a level!

 Result: 1

You can Hardly Chill with this cup of tea! For one, it is Not Chilled At All, but instead Very Heated. For two, you have apparently Somehow Just Poured It Down Your Pants, and are not feeling very much in the mood for a chilling at all.

Wait, scratch that, you feel In The Mood For A Chilling quite a lot. You also feel Pain.

Physical Damage Roll: 5
Mental Damage Roll: 1

Physical Health 3/8. Mental Health 6/8.

Well this was Not A Decent Turn For You, now was it? No, it was not.

 Result: 2

Toy Ducky Physical Damage Roll: 5

Toy Ducky Physical Health -1/4. In retrospect, you will decide, This Was A Horrible Idea. The Ducky cannot fit any armaments, and your Attempts at Filling It with Various Edged Things only managed to Mutilate It Beyond Recognition. The Ducky Is Lost, a Victim to Your Curiosity.

Mental Damage Roll: 1

Mental Health 5/6. Aaand you've Already Forgotten about your Dear Friend whom you Ruthlessly Sacrificed. For Science. You Monster.

Item(s) Lost!
Toy Ducky