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Anyways, what's the difference between poison and venom?

We have finally arrived at Callcave today. I count us at 13 or 14. I ran out of fingers, anyways.

That is good. What is bad is that we're going to Callcave.

Also, we were met with neutral news. One of our Axemen is alive, though he is missing his right arm, and the poison blurs his mind.
Good news, all right, but what if he remembers my abandoning of him?

As is customary, I entered the cave first, and immediately met an iron man.
While I whipped him (for a long time, I might add!), I decided I needed a better weapon, one effective against the hard armor of the behemoths that stalk the halls.

Well, in the end, I removed his head with a nice wrist-flick, but still.

Okay, we have now all entered the cave. I scouted ahead, AGAIN. I immediately met with a spider...

I hid, and made our signal sound, called "an arrogant fool screaming at the top of his lungs". For some reason, the spider didn't notice it.

Wait a minute... THEY ARE TAUNTING ME!
This must be the works of Imp and Skanky. THEY HAVE POISONED THE MINDS OF THESE INNOCENT PEOPLE!
THEY. WILL. FALL!

Already they are attempting to get rid of me, via "accidents". The amount of time it took them to reach me was unacceptable, and they didn't all need kill that batman, did they?
But we shall see who is the leader soon, oh yes, we shall.
The time is approaching.
I can feel it.

Oh yes, it is definitely Imp and Skanky who are leading this revolt against me.
When the others finally arrived, Imp was first in line, trying to look like a hero.
"Are you okay?", he said.
"Well, duh. I AM Bathru Raceprophet, after all. AND YOU REMEMBER THAT, MORTAL. Durr, durr."
"Okay... whatever." Then he charged the spider.

Their plan is clockwork precise, I must admit. While Imp got himself wounded, Skanky came in "to save the day". He cut the other eye of the beast (note how he left it one eye for it to see) and sent it booming down the corridors into the dark emptiness.

Not wanting to look any worse, I sneaked up to the spider and gouged it's other eye. That'll show them who's the real hero here!

Then, to look like I was doing something, I started whipping it.
The Vile One, the one called the Choppinator, joined my side, obviously trying to impress the others.

"Listen, Bathru... We've been talking, us all, and we've been wondering why you've been acting so strangely."
"Hmm, strangely? Is that what you call it? HM?"
"Well, yes, with all the glowering and muttering and the way you- hey, stop that! Yes, right that, that... trying to trip me, that thing. Why do you hate us?"
"Oh yes, I'm the one FILLED WITH HATRED NOW, AM I? AM I?"
"I don't understand what you could possibly mean with that."
"Oh, but don't you? Hm?..."
"And that too! That constant changing in attitude. First angry, then riddley, then, I dare say, cowardly, what's the big deal? Why can't you be stable?"
"Stableness won't help when you're spread across the floors."
"AND those lame anecdotes, and the irrational fear of spiders.
What is wrong with you?"
"Oh yes. Wrong with ME, right? Well, let me tell you, young one, you cannot imagine what I've seen with my two eyes, AND YOU'D BETTER REMEMBER THAT. For I still have my eyes, unlike, quite possibly, some soon, within this party.
Oh yes... the eyes. They are the juciest part."
"You're out of your mind!"

He then circled to the back of the spider and split it's head in half, a move that would later, unfortunately, be known as "The Choppinator".

Some memories were sparked recently. Next to the body of the recently slain cave spider was another one, slain in older times, times one struggles to remember.
All I remember is cave spiders, and their horrible toxin.
It drives victims mad, they say.
Well, they're obviously wrong, 'cause I've had more than my share, and look at how healthy I am!
They're idiots, that's what they are.
Idiots like spiders. But deadly.

Interesting confrontation. I met a ratman and started killing it the routine way, but then, suddenly, a spider emerged from a neary entrance! I dropped the bloody and unconscious ratman from my hands and, with all my might fighting prowess, assailed the beast.

I immediately got webbed. While I was lying on the ground, I noticed Skanky. I cried out for him to help me, but he seemed not to notice, and beat on the ratman I had been strangling.
YET MORE EVIDENCE OF HIS DISLOYALTY. HE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN I NEVER LEAVE A KILL UNFINISHED.
Maybe he knew. Maybe he hates us. I mean me.

Luckily, my old and trusted friend, the Wrestler, charged the spider and brought it crashing down to the earth with himself.

At this point Skanky probably thought he'd wasted enought time, cut the ratman and half and started running towards us and the spider.
He danced to the spider, and as I gazed on, paralyzed with fear no awe no POISON  he repeate his earlier succesful combo on the spider, splitting it's head and throwing it away.

However, I did not idle while waiting for the poison to fade. I had already decided where we would go next.
We would go down the unexplored hallway that the spider had blocked.

Met a giant cave swallow. Beat it strangled it. That was trivial.
Our next encounter, however, was not.
Abovope "Manstabs" the batman.
Wielder of the fearsome and manly rope reed sock.
Bane of a random drunk it had ambushed, if memory does not fail me.

After I had beaten it unconscious and commenced strangling, I noticed something funny.
The Wrestler obviously had something against this bat, as he took the time to break three of it's limbs, leaving it with a single arm uncrushed.
What is the story behind this? Hm? We must know!
I must know, that is. Me.

On a side note, this bat was a bleeder. He also took a long time to choke to death.

Found the corpse of a seasoned veteran. A maceman, to be specific.
He was the third oldest in the party.
Victim of spiders, him too.

Ambush again!
While I was following a hallway (which later appeared to be a dead end, anyways) the Wrestler was attacked by a lurking spider!
The others told me he had put up a valiant defence, immediately knocking down the spider before it could do anything.
This, however, did not help him, as the beast rose back up and bit him in the head, poking out his left eye.

Imp later choppinated the spider, and we left the Wrestler to recover from the poison on his own.

In the light of recent spider attacks, I have decided that it would be best if the beloved and wise leader of our group (that's me, if you didn't know), would be better off if he trained some mace skills. So I went and stole the mace from the previously mentioned deceased maceman.

I also took his shield.

Tragedy in the group! Despite my awesome leadership, we have lost a member!
It was the Wrestler, though, so nothing big, though I find it prudent to avoid telling this to The Others.

This is how it happened, honestly.
I was killing this batman in a hallway, training my mace-wielding skills.

While I was prefectly innocently doing this, the Wrestler was attacked, by a spider! He was viciously ripped apart, and once we had recovered the body, one of the drunks said that the sight made him look sick.
See? I couldn't have done that. A spider did it. Spiders.

That'll teach him...
Trying to make me feel bad...

Anyways, I was the first one to reach the body, and over it was a giant cave spider!
In a fit of righteous rage, I charged the beast with my mace and drove it away.
Unfortunately, before running away, it webbed me, so that I could not chase it down.
What a horrible tragedy to our party.

Also, Imp was bitten in the head by a spider. Nothing serious, though.

More importantly, I, too, was wounded in the fight. Against the spider.

I decided to scetch a picture in memory of our beloved friend, the Wrestler, or rather what we looked like after we found him.
Notice the awesome grief visible in my eyes.

Oh yeah, and we never found the swordsman. Pity pity. What horrors belie this party in this cave.
Oh yes.

Enemies of the public:

Imp
The Choppinator
The Wrestler REMOVED

I will rule."

By the way, how can I make a word look like I've overwrited it?
I'd really need that for future use.

[ February 05, 2008: Message edited by: Dwarfaholic ]

[ February 05, 2008: Message edited by: Dwarfaholic ]

The bard said he did not get my joke.

HE IS NEXT.

We also had to reluctantly start going towards Callcave the Evil Hole.
We have nowhere else to go.

Yellcloistered, as well as the Choppinator, must die.

These are the truths that I have learned today.
Three truths in one day! Damn I'm awesome.

Nothing else happened today, though. Let's see what happens tomorrow."

"26th Moonstone, 1053

We continued travelling. The bard kept on bugging me about the joke.
I told him to ask the others, they seemed to get it.

At least they laughed.

We decided to stop for a while in Tonguehollow, buy some rations and then move on.

I also considered dumping the bard somewhere along with Urist, but whatever I tried, they just kept on following.

They should learn to respect my authority."

"27th Moonstone, 1053

We have arrived at Barbguised, which is the last stop from Callcave.
If it's a clear day, you can almost see it in the Special Swamps.

We will leave tomorrow.

I will leave this journal here. If we do not return, then...
Then the suckers who call themselves my friends just haven't been able to do their jobs.
Not my fault.
FOR I AM BATHRU RACEPROPHET, AND I AM PERFECT!

P.S: Thought for today: Respect the spiders, and they will gut you and bleed you to death.

It's smarter to just run.

P.S.S: There's this funny one-legged Maceman here. He tells us he was once a skilled warrior, until he lost his leg to a spider.

He obviously didn't run fast enough.
Or won't now anymore! Ha, ha! I am so funny.

But, I must admit, he IS kinda scary. He has this sock, you see, and he keeps on trying to put it onto his leg, the one that he doesn't have. And then it falls off, and he tries again. And again.
Until he passes out.

Maybe we should reconsider going to the cave...?"

[ January 28, 2008: Message edited by: Dwarfaholic ]

Another drunk is acting up again.

He started singing and wants to be called a bard, named "Goodfellow".

A bard.
Who sings.
With his voice.
Named "Good" fellow.

Well, at least we can all hear him getting torn to shreds, in C sharp.
Haha, C sharp, torn to shreds. I'm funny.

I told the others the joke. They laughed. A lot.
While looking at me.

I can feel the respect they have for me.
Must be my awesome leadership in work again. I'm honestly like a natural in this stuff.

Maybe I could ask the bard to sing in my praise?"

The wrestler known as "Old" has asked to be called Spoon the Forklifter.

I think I know how he survived the weeks he spent in the cave, and also why we never found the body of the crippled swordsman.

However, he's probably the only guy here with a chance of beating me, so I'll let him have it his way."

Time seems to go slowly while in caves. It's probably afraid of the spiders, too.

After killing Rodemithbi, WE decided to go down a corridor nearby.
WE thought it was close, and that it was equally likely to find the cyclops there than the one I had recommended.

We we we. Always we.
Darn that Choppinator, and Imp too. They are ruining my lackeys.

On the plus side, after a long discussion, WE bitterly decided WE are leaving "Old" the wrestler behind. Also, the corridor WE went down ended almost immediately.

However, this cannot go on. I must re-establish my position.
I MUST RULE.
For their own good, of course.

I told THE OTHERS that WE should now the way I had recommendeded.
THEY pointed out that there was another hallway right next the one where we already were.
THEY also asked how could I be so dumb not to notice it.
THEY will pay.
The reign of the Choppinator shall come to an end.
It will have to.
IT IS MY WILL!

Okay, so we went down the corridor.
I volunteered to go first.

Another spider! What is wrong with this place?
Right after the first turn in the tunnel, too.
Luckily, it didn't see me, and I hid myself.

The first one I saw was Bullion, the maceman.
I signaled to him the danger that lurked behind the corner, and he jumped right in. Without any backup. Oh, he's dead now. At least that's what I thought.

Bullion leaped at the spider and knocked it over, although his mace strikes were ineffective. The situation looked good for me, so I started lashing at the beast, to look like I was helping too.

With my leadership, Bullion bruised the eyes and the brain of the spider.
Maybe he will become a good second man?
Alas, we were webbed. I thought our end was near, when Sigurd charged the spider, bringing it crashing down to the earth with himself.
Bullion rose to his feet, lifted his great morningstar and brought it to the cephalotrax of the spider, smashing it and sending the vile spawn into the darkness of the cave from which it had come.
It is amazing how inspiring one can be while hiding behind a corner.
Giving advice. Leadership stuff.

We continued past the corpse of the spider, and I spat on it.
The others looked at me funnily. They obviously did not respect understand my grand and vital contribution to the felling of the creature.

We paused for a while, and I wrote this. If I am correct, we have now killed
three spiders. At the cost of lives of three drunks.
It's a win-win scenario here, and it's all thanks to me.

Found batman. It was dead.

Hehe. The corridor THEY wanted to go down was a dead end, after all.
Unfortunately, it branched into other corridors. WE will follow them.

Urist got lost for a while, found a batman and killed it.
He found his way back, though. Damn.
On a more important note, I found a glove. I picked it up, and noticed I didn't have a shield. No wonder I haven't done so well in past fights.
I noted this to the others. Reactions varied, with Urist being surprised that I had had a shield, and Skanky claiming he was amazed with me not noticing the loss of my shield.

They obviously don't know how easy it is to forget mundane objects like shields when one is a great leader like myself. Also, I am so skilled that I don't even need one! None can defeat me! NONE!

Spiders...

We found lots of ichor in a piece of corridor. It seems we are not the only ones      willing or capable of hunting spiders.
This should make me happy, but it doesn't.
I wonder where Das Spintubes is.

Nothing. Lots of it. These corridors are as empty as-

As I was writing my last entry (I sometimes write while I walk), I walked into a spider! With all its legs and nasty itsy bits! I jumped away in surpise. And jumped a bit more, until I reached the others.
Without me even having time to explaing the situation, Imp charged around the corner and attacked the spider.
So did Urist.

I was unsure who I wanted to win, but decided to help them, as Imp has yet to cause me trouble.

I rounded around the corner to see Imp and the spider in a tangled mess. I readied my whip, and with a mighty blow, removed the eyes and badly tore the brain of the behemoth.
No longer could it see us, and it's attacks would thus surely be ineffective!

At least, that's what I thought until it webbed me, Imp, Urist and all the rest, who were just coming round a corner.

Then something horrible happened.
The spider touched me. With it's leg. It was hairy, but still somehow... sticky.
That, however, did not help it, and it was soon covered by bruises and people making more of them. It bled to death.

If I'm correct, this raises to count to four spiders.

Man I'm good at leading groups.

We continued on our journey. Behind us, the one who calls himself the Dragonslayer and some other dude keeped getting caught in webs.
Honestly, I think he may be the most worthless Axeman I have ever seen.
He never kills anything, he always gets caught in webs, and he's to first one to get wounded.
He's also quite ignorant, too.
It's like he knows how I like my lackeys: harmless and just incompetent enough for me to steal the fame.
With which I, of course, mean encouraging them to great feats with my awesome leadership.

Found a batman. Strangled it.
I do not know why, but I find strangling small, furry creatures somehow... comforting.
Another ratman was killed by a hammerman.

Another dead end. Honestly, this place is as empty as my wallet.
Ie. full of spiders. Skanky has yet to do any claims to position as leader, but I know he's up to something.
He's biding for his time, waiting to stab me in the back.
Patiently.
Like a spider.
Spiders...

Another spider. As is customary, Bullion charged it, with the others quick to follow suite.
However, what followed was not as ordinary.
We were webbed, and in the following struggle Bullion lost his right leg.
He still has his knee, though, so he should consider himself lucky. He doesn't.
Urist was also bit in the chest, but nothing special happened aside from his falling down in paralysis.
Then something really strange happened.
Remember what I said about Sigurd the Dragonslayer?
Well, he cut the spider in half.

That's now... five spiders, with the losses of three drunks and most like Bullion. They are quite easily replaceable.
Also, Bullion has a shield.

Found leg of spider. No spiders sighted, however.
Sigurd seems to have gotten into the taste of blood. When I was strangling a ratman, he removed both it's legs and an arm.
Admirable, but the way he seemed to enjoy the carnage was somewhat... disturbing.
Also, have you noticed the funny way ratmen squeak when you strangle them?
It's kinda like the screams of dying people, except more high-pitched, and somewhat more relaxing.
I considered pointing this out to the others, but decided against it.
Who knows how they could use this knowledge against me.

We have located Das Spintubes!
Which is to say I located it, and the others just followed me.

The battle began with my masterful dodging of it's clumsy moves and whipping it.
Then it noticed Sigurd and charged it. He bruised him a little and then turned back to me.
At this point, I was the only one to inflict any real damage to it, by spraining it's shoulder.
Then Sigurd charged the ettin, only to bounce backwards.
I am starting to suspect that the lucky hit he inflicted on that one spider was indeed only luck.

It looked like I could hog all the glory in this fight. It was simple to evade the creature, and once I had whipped it's legs, I could then strangle it.

Then that darned Choppinator came.
He charged the ettin and buried his halberd deep into its chest. He collided with it, and bounced backwards, much to my delight. However, then the ettin fell over. We later found he had broken it's spine and pierced a lung.
DAMN.

Now it was down, I decided to do the most logical thing, and that was to strangle it. I was, however, faced with a problem: the ettin had two heads.
I decided to give the others and example and strangle both heads.

And then Skanky cut the ettin in half.

Honestly, I am beginning to get worried by his continued undermiming of my authority. Maybe he will face a fate similar to that of Bullion's...

Anyways, I drew a picture about the scene.
   

We will probably go get the wounded wrestler and poor Bullion soon.
Or let them crawl to us, whatever.

Then it's time to return to Dancedtreat and get some fresh blood.
Some live people with the blood would also be nice.

End of entry"

[ January 21, 2008: Message edited by: Dwarfaholic ]

[ January 21, 2008: Message edited by: Dwarfaholic ]

Also, 'bout the bard, is he a drunk or something else?

Anyways...

"Continued from last entry

We decided to go right, simply because it's the one closest to me.

After walking a while along the corridors, we found the body of a dead batman.
To be more precise, I found a dead batman. Behind me, the others found a live one. It was engaged by a drunk, and then Skanky and an Axeman royally dismemberd it's members.

These caves are bizarre. I found a sock.
For unknown reasons, it was clean and unused.
I decided that some things are best left untouched, and leaved the sock.

As I was walking towards yet another set of stairs (how do they even get there) I almost collided with a giant cave spider.
I decided to retreat as fast as I could, ran behind a corner and hid.
It advanced towards me, and I was sure it would find me any moment.
Not to say I was afraid, of course. Me! Bathru Raceprophet! Afraid of a mere eight-legged squisky thing?

With big, nasty, pointy teeth...
It's the teeth I hate. And the poison.
Not afraid, though. Not at all.

Anyways, as I readied myself to battle the vicious cave creature, a drunk ran in  front of me, eager for glory. Instead, he got a mandible into his guts, and poison into his blood.
Then he got ripped to shreds. Meh.

Fortunately for me, I mean us, his pain was not in vain. Hehe, it rhymes.

While he was attracting the attention of the octoped menace, a(nother) bipedal drunk attacked it, and was soon reduced to an unipedal whimpering pile.

Then Keth the hammerman smashed it.

We voted to leave the crippled person where he was, despite the majority being against it. I argued that he would attract spiders towards him, and thus away from us. One of the others said he was feeling sick.
I hurriedly added that we would, of course, then avenge his death.
They would, not me. I would be watching them learn the most valuable lesson in their lives: other people don't matter. Only cave spiders do.

Spiders...

Anyways, we continued merrily onwards.

After a while of continuing, I noticed the other's weren't following. I halted and waited for them. They came, after a while.
I wished they hadn't.

They had found the wrestler. The one I left for dead in the caves.
And then left to be soon dead once I found out he wasn't dead.
Oh ho. That's him.

While I was standing there, paralyzed with fear I MEAN RESPECT AND GOODWILL, I noticed something bizarre about him.
He wasn't hitting me. Or kicking. He wasn't even yelling.
He just looked at me with a look that, I think, was supposed to make me feel ashamed. Try again, bucko! I feel no shame. Probably because of the spiders.
I hate them. So much.
Spiders.

After looking at me for a long time the wrestler gave up.
Instead, he vowed to follow me and make me remember shame again.
He vowed it through Armok or something. Whatever, one can't hold his vows when one is dead. Ultra-dead, in the case of spiders.

Also, I don't want to feel ashamed. I makes me feel shameful.

We stopped again. Nothing has happened as of yet, except for the one ratman that was quickly de-limbified by an axeman. I feel bored. I hope something happens soon, save for a spider attack of course.
It's not that I fear them, of course not! I just respect them. I respect them so much that I run away and hide when I see them, behaviour that is often wrongly associated with fear. I fear nothing.
Totally nothing.

Found antman. Whipped it to pieces.

I learned how awful a system democracy is today.

While we were wandering yet another corridor, Imp said he had heard something.
He said it was a cave spider.

I jumped at the news, but then he told me the sounds had come from far above, where the drunk was, and that we should go help him.

I told him to shove his sword up where the sun doesn't shine.
He pointed out we were already in a cave.

He then proceeded to take a vote on whether to help the Drunk in distress.
A vote! In a democratic system, where I decide everything!
Needless to say, the sissies won. They said I could follow them if I wanted to.
I followed, as I was eager to see them get torn apart by the spider, which they named "Rodemithbi", or "Racewhisper". Very funny.
Also, they are valuable protection against spiders.

It's a long way, so it's gonna take a while. Hopefully long enough for the others to come to their senses, before they are dulled by the cruel poison of the giant cave spider.

Rodemithbi removed the remaining leg from the drunk, and then killed it.
However, the others insisted that we carried on.
Also, we heard a monkey battle a ratman. Booyeah!

If you closed your eyes, you could almost see the awesome locks and throws they were employing against each other.
I also imagined the ratman strangle the monkey. That's what I would have done, anyways.

I was the first to see Rodemithbi. Although it was dark in the cave, I could see the blood dripping from her mandibles. I turned on my heels and ran. Out of respect, of course.

Once again, a drunk went between it and myself. He was almost instantly ripped in half. It was quite disturbing seeing all the guts fly past me. I continued running.

Once I reached my honored friend, I quickly turned to face the monster. We could easily destroy it now. I attacked it, but it ran past me, and bit the wrestler.
THE wrestler.
Suddenly I felt great sympathy for this mighty beast, hated for no good reason, except for it's might and strength. It was simply misunderstood.
Then I remembered it was a spider.

I ran to it's front, and lashed at it. It dropped the wrestler and webbed us all.
Us all, save for one.
Skanky charged at the beast, bringing his iron halberd to the abdomen of the beast. A sickening crack echoed through the halls, followed by a great crash as the spider hit a wall, it's entrails spraying out of the giant wound in its body.
All due to my awesome leadership, of course. I made a mental note to get rid of Skanky fast. He was becoming a threat to my position as the leader.

However, this will only be later as now his actions gave us the time to free ourselves of the webs, and beat the royal shit out of Racewhisper.

On a side not, Skanky also removed a leg, and Imp removed the right eye and sent the spider flying again. I almost felt sorry for it.

Then Imp removed a leg and Skanky removed its abdomen. At about this point, the spider finally died.

If i have counted correctly, this meant that we lost only three drunks, while killing off another two cave spiders. This raid has been wonderful success!
It has also enabled me to find the main threat to the integrity of our party.
Skanky the Choppinator.
He must die.

Anyways, a scetch of the scene after we killed Rodemithbi:

End of entry."

As we approached the cave, I heard sounds of battle. Specifically, the sound of humans battling cave creatures.

It appears not all the others died fighting the cave spiders. One wrestler and two swordsmen were still alive. We shouted at each other through the cave walls, but couldn't find them. Lucky for me, though. The wrestler in particular was pretty pissed at being left for dead. He called my ugly names, even though I'm his leader!
It just comes to show that, beneath all that friendliness and "Ooh, ooh! I can tear off limbs!", he just really isn't a team player.

Well, they were pretty screwed anyways. The other swordsman was missing a leg, and was falling in and out of consciousness.

I disposed of a stray batman and waited for the others.

While I waited, the swordsman killed three ratmen and a batman. And I couldn't, 'cause I had to wait for the other's! Damn schools and their teachings of "fair".

Anyways, once the other's had arrived, we started hunting for the cyclops.

And found "Slashy" the swordsman almost immediately. Damn.

Luckily for me, the poison seems to have erased most of his memories. He has no ill will against me, and doesn't seem to remember anything from before coming to "The Tepid Night".

Heh heh. Sucker.

Anyways, he'll be a welcome addition to our numbers.

I scetched a little drawing to commemorate the occasion. I think I like drawing.

We gathered at the stairs, and voted to continue onwards. That is to say, I told we'd do it, and nobody objeced loud enough. I also took the time to write this."

[ January 15, 2008: Message edited by: Dwarfaholic ]