1066
General Discussion / Re: Terrible Jokes
« on: October 02, 2020, 02:01:48 pm »Spoiler: Flagrant and explicit racism (click to show/hide)
Bay 12 Games Forum
- May 04, 2024, 10:10:01 am
- Welcome, Guest
News:
April 23, 2024: Dwarf Fortress 50.13 has been released.
News: February 3, 2024: The February '24 Report is up.
News: February 4, 2021: Dwarf Fortress Talk #28 has been posted.
News: November 21, 2018: A new Threetoe story has been posted.
Forum Guidelines
Show Posts
This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
1067
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« on: September 28, 2020, 03:36:58 pm »I mean. There's literally no point to a fork.
Um. There are literally at least two points to a fork.
Often four.
1068
General Discussion / Re: Dungeons & Dragons / PNP games thread: The Barren Snowflake Wastes
« on: September 28, 2020, 04:32:31 am »
In a new, different DnD game now thanks to the GM from the old one vanishing off the face of the earth and nobody particular caring to follow after him.
The bard player is playing a bard again, and is in fact playing the same bard that he's just ported over because he felt he didn't get enough of a chance to live out that character's story.
We've just had our first proper night in an inn, and the bard (who is very bard) made sure to have his first "I scan the room for wenches" moment. Almost getting clocked by a large she-orc, he was undeterred in his quest for romance and set his sights on new conquests.
Namely, me.
One natural 20 plus mods Charisma check later, and my bookish, socially awkward academic has had strange new feelings awakened inside of him that he never knew he could feel for another man. Particularly not one half his size. And obsessed with griffins.
Thankfully the DM allowed for awkwardness to win the day and I managed to resist the urge to follow this charming halfling back to his room for the night. If only just.
I have to say, I'm feeling slightly uncomfortable
The bard player is playing a bard again, and is in fact playing the same bard that he's just ported over because he felt he didn't get enough of a chance to live out that character's story.
We've just had our first proper night in an inn, and the bard (who is very bard) made sure to have his first "I scan the room for wenches" moment. Almost getting clocked by a large she-orc, he was undeterred in his quest for romance and set his sights on new conquests.
Namely, me.
One natural 20 plus mods Charisma check later, and my bookish, socially awkward academic has had strange new feelings awakened inside of him that he never knew he could feel for another man. Particularly not one half his size. And obsessed with griffins.
Thankfully the DM allowed for awkwardness to win the day and I managed to resist the urge to follow this charming halfling back to his room for the night. If only just.
I have to say, I'm feeling slightly uncomfortable
1069
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« on: September 27, 2020, 03:36:50 pm »'poepen' means 'have sex', I shit you not.
Interesting choice of vernacular
1070
General Discussion / Re: Terrible Jokes
« on: September 26, 2020, 11:22:40 am »Quote from: A friend's Facebook postDid you know a few of hitler's generals became animal doctors after the war? They were veteran aryans.
That is...
I hate it and I know exactly who I need to tell it to.
1071
General Discussion / Re: Terrible Jokes
« on: September 21, 2020, 11:40:04 am »
Double-posting with no survivors.
*Knock knock*
1: Who's there?
2: Jesus' manger
1: Jesus' manger who?
2: Jesus' manger own damn business!
*Knock knock*
1: Who's there?
2: Jesus' manger
1: Jesus' manger who?
2: Jesus' manger own damn business!
1072
General Discussion / Re: The small random questions thread [WAAAAAAAAAAluigi]
« on: September 19, 2020, 03:52:15 am »I'm going to try to learn French, any tips?
My mom said to pucker your lips like you're going in for a kiss when speaking French.
...can't comment on how helpful that is
1073
General Discussion / Re: Terrible Jokes
« on: September 16, 2020, 02:06:41 pm »
Shared in a Kik group:
Q: Why are monks so good at protesting?
A: Because the more Ohms you have, the greater the resistance
Q: Why are monks so good at protesting?
A: Because the more Ohms you have, the greater the resistance
1074
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« on: September 12, 2020, 05:01:25 am »
If they just shat their pants... Why did they have flush-plumbing toilets at Hogwarts? Was it *exclusively* a place for secret chambers and polyjuice potion?
Was it *exclusively* a place for secret chambers and polyjuice potion?
1075
General Discussion / Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« on: September 11, 2020, 03:15:23 pm »Spoiler (click to show/hide)
1076
General Discussion / Re: The Fitness Thread (aka Git Fit, aka Swole Patrol, aka Many Rep, Such Wow)
« on: September 11, 2020, 06:15:00 am »Does your current situation have any mental health resources/services for you to use, Kagus? As useless as words from an internet stranger are, I'm hoping you're able to talk to somebody or take steps to manage your headspace.
Oh yeah, I've been on meds and in therapy for the past 8 years, give or take. Doing vastly better now than I was back then! Working out at a gym wouldn't have even been a hypothetical concept for me in those days
1077
General Discussion / Re: The Fitness Thread (aka Git Fit, aka Swole Patrol, aka Many Rep, Such Wow)
« on: September 10, 2020, 03:12:48 am »
To reiterate, I have a mental block against accepting success. I've been going to the gym regularly (3-6 times a week) for just over a year now, and if you were to ask me what's changed from that I'd kinda just shrug my shoulders.
I can look at the numbers. I can notice that some shirts don't fit like they used to. But I cannot internally process the fact that I've made any improvement at all (yes, fact. I can understand from an academic standpoint that I've made improvements, but my mind balks at the idea of even remotely accepting any of it).
Failure, however, gets internalized every goddamn day. The exertion of every rep is failure and humiliation, because it's not the weight/the ease it "should" be. Every set is failure and humiliation because I feel pain and exhaustion to the point of having difficulty counting which set that was, and I'm therefore not recovering as well as I "should" be.
Setting reasonable goals for myself is extremely difficult, as any goal that's set low enough for me to achieve is meaningless because "anyone can do that", the only thing I've done is just set standard human capacity as a lofty height for me to shoot for. Therefore, achieving that goal is nothing more than a reminder of being subhuman.
That's how my brain works around all this. Competing against myself just means that every success is a failure, and every failure is also a failure. Every moment in the gym is pain and humiliation, for what I perceive to be a zero-sum game. I don't see myself improving, I just see myself putting in immense effort in order to not get even worse. So, then, the effort that must be required in order to somehow improve would have to be colossal and clearly not something I'm capable of.
I work off of two concepts internalized over the course of my life:
Since I don't vomit or black out at the gym, I'm not really trying. And since I'm not really trying, I will never gain results.
And I don't push myself to vomiting/unconsciousness because, well, first of all it doesn't mean enough to me to do so. I'm not sure anything does. Second, I'm petrified of pushing myself to that point and still not getting results, because that would prove to me once and for all that I'm just inherently incapable and there's no point doing any of it.
What I need is a damn reboot of my sick head. And I'm working on that.
"Should" being the operative word, again
I can look at the numbers. I can notice that some shirts don't fit like they used to. But I cannot internally process the fact that I've made any improvement at all (yes, fact. I can understand from an academic standpoint that I've made improvements, but my mind balks at the idea of even remotely accepting any of it).
Failure, however, gets internalized every goddamn day. The exertion of every rep is failure and humiliation, because it's not the weight/the ease it "should" be. Every set is failure and humiliation because I feel pain and exhaustion to the point of having difficulty counting which set that was, and I'm therefore not recovering as well as I "should" be.
Setting reasonable goals for myself is extremely difficult, as any goal that's set low enough for me to achieve is meaningless because "anyone can do that", the only thing I've done is just set standard human capacity as a lofty height for me to shoot for. Therefore, achieving that goal is nothing more than a reminder of being subhuman.
That's how my brain works around all this. Competing against myself just means that every success is a failure, and every failure is also a failure. Every moment in the gym is pain and humiliation, for what I perceive to be a zero-sum game. I don't see myself improving, I just see myself putting in immense effort in order to not get even worse. So, then, the effort that must be required in order to somehow improve would have to be colossal and clearly not something I'm capable of.
I work off of two concepts internalized over the course of my life:
- Effort = Results
- If you're not vomiting or blacking out, you're not trying
Since I don't vomit or black out at the gym, I'm not really trying. And since I'm not really trying, I will never gain results.
And I don't push myself to vomiting/unconsciousness because, well, first of all it doesn't mean enough to me to do so. I'm not sure anything does. Second, I'm petrified of pushing myself to that point and still not getting results, because that would prove to me once and for all that I'm just inherently incapable and there's no point doing any of it.
What I need is a damn reboot of my sick head. And I'm working on that.
You've been lifting long enough now you should be able to identify what exercise nets what benefits, and selectively choose the ones that dovetail your needs.
"Should" being the operative word, again
1078
General Discussion / Re: The Fitness Thread (aka Git Fit, aka Swole Patrol, aka Many Rep, Such Wow)
« on: September 09, 2020, 03:49:53 am »
Willingness to risk definitely isn't particularly high, what with my original attempts at deadlifting ending me up with a back tweak that put me out of any compound exercises for over a month and resetting all the numbers I'd previously had to basically just the bare bar. Considering how much of a failure I feel like most of the time, I'm terrified of hurting myself like that again.
And increasing the reps has been the plan, I'm trying to get my 5x3-4 up to a 5x5. A couple times, I hit 4s all the way. Last five sessions? All 3s, except for the occasional one set of 4 on a few of the days.
As for the meds, I was on beta-blockers for stress and an atypical antipsychotic with mildly sedative side effects for the sake of getting to sleep. Both have been phased out, and now it's just the NRI for depression (which theoretically should even be helping stuff like working out).
...plus creatine, protein, caffeine and HMB
I've had PHAT recommended to me, which... Well, there are a number of exercises on there I've never tried or even seen before, so it'd take a while to get the form down, but having a set plan might make me hang around there a bit more and actually have something to show for a workout beyond just "warmup cardio - squats - maybe some bench or something". But dedicating myself to some random workout plan I saw online is apparently something of a hurdle for me. I don't really trust anything, or anyone.
But yeah, I fit some RDLs in most weeks because my standard wormlift form is clearly fucked (see: back tweak from earlier this year) and my lower back tries to take over from my ass anytime I so much as get up to 60kg. And the RDLs I can at least feel after I've done them, unlike most of the other exercises (where I feel like I'm dying while I'm in it, but get absolutely no DOMS from).
At this point I mostly just try to not actually have any goals or desires from gym, because if I do then I'm gonna fail to meet them and feel even worse than usual. I just go because I can tell myself it's something constructive to do with my time. ...so long as I don't poke that thought too hard.
And increasing the reps has been the plan, I'm trying to get my 5x3-4 up to a 5x5. A couple times, I hit 4s all the way. Last five sessions? All 3s, except for the occasional one set of 4 on a few of the days.
As for the meds, I was on beta-blockers for stress and an atypical antipsychotic with mildly sedative side effects for the sake of getting to sleep. Both have been phased out, and now it's just the NRI for depression (which theoretically should even be helping stuff like working out).
...plus creatine, protein, caffeine and HMB
I've had PHAT recommended to me, which... Well, there are a number of exercises on there I've never tried or even seen before, so it'd take a while to get the form down, but having a set plan might make me hang around there a bit more and actually have something to show for a workout beyond just "warmup cardio - squats - maybe some bench or something". But dedicating myself to some random workout plan I saw online is apparently something of a hurdle for me. I don't really trust anything, or anyone.
But yeah, I fit some RDLs in most weeks because my standard wormlift form is clearly fucked (see: back tweak from earlier this year) and my lower back tries to take over from my ass anytime I so much as get up to 60kg. And the RDLs I can at least feel after I've done them, unlike most of the other exercises (where I feel like I'm dying while I'm in it, but get absolutely no DOMS from).
At this point I mostly just try to not actually have any goals or desires from gym, because if I do then I'm gonna fail to meet them and feel even worse than usual. I just go because I can tell myself it's something constructive to do with my time. ...so long as I don't poke that thought too hard.
1079
General Discussion / Re: The Fitness Thread (aka Git Fit, aka Swole Patrol, aka Many Rep, Such Wow)
« on: September 08, 2020, 06:15:55 pm »
Yeah, well, way I see things, competing with myself means I always lose
I can deadass look at my numbers progression and feel inside myself that I haven't actually improved at all. Because anything before/less than my current highest numbers "doesn't count".
I can deadass look at my numbers progression and feel inside myself that I haven't actually improved at all. Because anything before/less than my current highest numbers "doesn't count".
1080
General Discussion / Re: The Fitness Thread (aka Git Fit, aka Swole Patrol, aka Many Rep, Such Wow)
« on: September 08, 2020, 03:31:16 pm »
Still struggling with drive and energy at the gym, still going to the gym. I've gotten to regularly doing 5x3-4@75kg on squats, which... May or may not be bodyweight, I'm not entirely sure. Not too far off, at least.
Basically the one singular goal I've allowed myself to actually record in my notekeeping app was squatting at 80kg, which makes it all the more irritating that I've been repeatedly hitting all/mostly threes on the reps when I've previously had at least one gym visit where it was fours across the board. And squatting (knee-bends as they're called in Norwegian...) is pretty much the only thing I do outside some (very) light cardio.
Meanwhile one of my gym partner friends has been gushing over how she's been hitting 80-90kg on squats, while weighing notably less than I do. And also having a big fat "zip" on the testosterone front... And she just does it as an occasional exercise, not focusing on it like I do.
Which was making me feel pretty worthless and immutable in my weakness, until I actually saw her squat one time... Or, rather, power-curtsy. top of the knee didn't even level with bottom of the ass. Meanwhile I'm doing ass-to-grass because it requires less brainpower than trying to figure out when I've hit powerlifter standard depth
I mean, both my gym partner girls are still pulling absolutely crazy numbers on account of both of them actually enjoying working out and getting a feeling of accomplishment/energisement/happiness from it all, which I entirely do not... But it's nice to know that I'm maybe not completely outclassed by them in every single exercise.
Lil' miss pixie 56-58kg has taken to doing reps at 300kg on the leg press though. And she realized a while back that since she's a teensy bit too tiny for the machine, she actually ends up doing a couple calf raises every set in order to unrack/rack the bar.
And they're both back to ringing up total workout volume numbers north of 30 metric tons. Whereas mine only rarely hit 5. So, y'know.
Basically the one singular goal I've allowed myself to actually record in my notekeeping app was squatting at 80kg, which makes it all the more irritating that I've been repeatedly hitting all/mostly threes on the reps when I've previously had at least one gym visit where it was fours across the board. And squatting (knee-bends as they're called in Norwegian...) is pretty much the only thing I do outside some (very) light cardio.
Meanwhile one of my gym partner friends has been gushing over how she's been hitting 80-90kg on squats, while weighing notably less than I do. And also having a big fat "zip" on the testosterone front... And she just does it as an occasional exercise, not focusing on it like I do.
Which was making me feel pretty worthless and immutable in my weakness, until I actually saw her squat one time... Or, rather, power-curtsy. top of the knee didn't even level with bottom of the ass. Meanwhile I'm doing ass-to-grass because it requires less brainpower than trying to figure out when I've hit powerlifter standard depth
I mean, both my gym partner girls are still pulling absolutely crazy numbers on account of both of them actually enjoying working out and getting a feeling of accomplishment/energisement/happiness from it all, which I entirely do not... But it's nice to know that I'm maybe not completely outclassed by them in every single exercise.
Lil' miss pixie 56-58kg has taken to doing reps at 300kg on the leg press though. And she realized a while back that since she's a teensy bit too tiny for the machine, she actually ends up doing a couple calf raises every set in order to unrack/rack the bar.
And they're both back to ringing up total workout volume numbers north of 30 metric tons. Whereas mine only rarely hit 5. So, y'know.