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Author Topic: Twoo Wuv  (Read 2041 times)

zzedar

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Twoo Wuv
« on: February 06, 2012, 06:16:10 pm »

This is something that happened a while ago, but I didn't get around to writing it up until now.

When I was told that the king would be moving to my fort, I decided to give him a harem. My thinking was that I'd make an all-female military squad, outfit them in silk, and assign them to a barracks just off of his bedroom. The room had a similar theme: lots of gold, a bunch of silk ropes (which was the only way I could permanently install silk), that sort of thing. When the king arrived, I checked his screen for any hints as to what kind of girl he liked. It turned out that my king liked being told what to do, and didn't like giving orders. Rather odd for a king, but there you have it.

So much for the harem idea. I cleared out most of the decor from that room, and instead created a squad with a single (female) member. She was outfitted entirely in leather, and wielded a whip. I installed a few metal chains in that room, as well as a traction bench. I kept hoping for somebody to make a bed that menaced with spikes, but no luck.

The king kept mandating green glass items. Green glass was one of his preferences, but also one of hers. I like to think that he was ordering them because she told him to.
« Last Edit: February 06, 2012, 06:30:45 pm by zzedar »
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kingubu cancels Efficiency: Taken by mood
Project Whalegun is a go. Load the whale cannon!

King DZA

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Re: Twoo Wuv
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2012, 06:24:55 pm »

Simply beautiful. Would make a marvelous Disney love story, if you ask me.

Doughnut189

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Re: Twoo Wuv
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2012, 06:26:20 pm »

YES pull my BEARD.

Alternatively, have you considered
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
?
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Imagine you're driving a car. Push the gas pedal to the floor. Close your eyes. Remain this way for ten minutes while turning the wheel at whim. This is Dwarf Fortress.
I don't mean to alarm you, but it appears that your Dwarves are all in fact elephants.

Guylock

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Re: Twoo Wuv
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2012, 06:37:24 pm »

Interesting situation LOL.
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Urist McGyver

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Re: Twoo Wuv
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2012, 06:41:13 pm »

Urist McSpanky will do a lot of trips to the hospital when that dominatrix gets legendary gimp-whip.
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It's treated as completely normal because this is Dwarf Fortress.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with a wall of flames, only to later realize that you're surrounded by a wall of flames.
There's nothing that can't be solved by hurling fifteen roc birds at it.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Twoo Wuv
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2012, 07:00:37 pm »

Well it's certainly different.

wierd

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Re: Twoo Wuv
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2012, 07:11:36 pm »

Its a shame they got rid of the tentacle demons. If he had a pref for one of those, it would have made it even more hilarious.
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