CHAPTER ONE: TURN TWENTY ONE
As the crack team of Bowienauts continue to flee the raging inferno inside the communist pyramid, the neural interlink bursts into life, three long beeps signalling the emergency use of the general Bowiemergency frequency.“Bowiecopter back to Bowie, over. Bowiecopter back to Bowie, come in Bowie?”
“This is the Timelord, over. How’s the situation up there, Marcus?”
“We uh… we’re taking increasingly heavy fire here David… there’s hostiles on the ground, the LZ is swarming, over.”
“How uh… how many hostiles are there man?”
“I’d estimate somewhere between ten and fifteen thousand, over. We’re taking heavy small arms fire but the bowieshields are deflecting everything they can throw at us for the time being.”
“Ok Marcus. Now, you two stay calm up the-“
“Oh I’m calm, David, but I think Vincent is really beginning to freak out, y’know? I’ve gone through the medikit but there don’t seem to be any downers left in there. David, I’m going to have to go off air for a second and take Vince through some controlled breathing exercises, the evasive action is really getting to him and I don’t know how long we can hold out, over…”Head for the main entrance, doubletime!
Mind swirling with increasing flashbacks of the wars down in Texas,
Davy Crockett spins his head round quickly to make a mental roll call of his companions.
“Where’s McCartney?” he yells over the din of rumbling pyramid.
“Huh?”
“I said, where’s McCartney? He never made it out the private lair?”
“I dunno, I haven’t seen the poor fella since he fell down that huge hole, mate.”
“Blast. We should – “
“Friends, we don’t have time. The Timelord’s scientists are most likely right. This structure could go down at any time and if we go back for him we all risk death. As sad as I am to part with my musical companion, we must heed the warnings and leave.”
"Crikey! Well, time to skedaddle, mates!"
“Agreed. Doubletime, lads! Come on!”...With one last despairing look back towards the stingray moat,
Davy Crockett heads down the subway tunnel towards freedom and safety, dodging tumbling concrete pillars and sharp jagged slices of volcanic glass as he runs as fast as he dares.
Suddenly he feels a violent impact knock him to the floor!
Stevo rushes on ahead, hopping like a maddened kangaroo towards the main exit!
Stevo has tears in his eyes as he hops on down the subway tunnel like a maddened kangaroo – suddenly he stops and turns to face his
cameraman.
“Ah man! I accidentally killed that rare wilderdile specimen, mate. It’s gonna be years before we get another beauty like that on film! I dunno what happened, y’know?”
“Steve.”
“ There I was, just watching Davy there rip a wilderdile’s brain to shreds with his teeth, and suddenly I was overtaken by this overwhelmingly powerful feeling of rage, mate. Crikey.”
“Steve!”
“ I scare even meself sometimes, I really do. You gotta pity those poor crocs, y’know? They don’t stand a chance.”
“STEVE! Get a bloody move on fella, the whole place is crumbling round our ears mate! There’s no bloody time for pieces to camera yet! Besides, mate, the lighting in here’s rubbish, we’re gonna have to reshoot that when we get outside, OK? Now, help me carry this bloody tripod.”...Stevo picks up the tripod and lumbers onwards to the main exit, dodging the falling rocks and flying bricks as he goes.
Suddenly the tripod goes flying as he feels a violent impact knock him to his knees!
Stride towards the exit. If the pyramid threatens to collapse on top of me, or the volcanic glass is too dangerous, use Element magics to propel me forth.( Ie fill the tunnel with water(allowing me to float, don't fill it completely) then combine air and water behind me to create a warm breeze that will push me towards the exit.
Archimedes of Syracuse strides calmly towards the exit on the west of the pyramid as his
two remaining companions flee before him.
...Suddenly he sees an interesting inscription on the wall! It looks like some esoteric mathemagical formula, scribed upon the very living rock itself to be guarded for all time!
“I must take careful note of this!” he thinks, stopping before the inscription.
“These caverns could remain unexplored for centuries after their demise. I must take a closer look, for the good of science!”Archimedes peers closer, thoughtfully stroking his beard.
“Hmm.”Suddenly he shrugs and realises he has tarried too long, and the pyramid is threatening to collapse on top of him!
“Oh blast!” he exclaims.
“Blast and bother! Ooh! I know! Water! And air! ...Yes!”McCartney, despite his condition, makes a mad dash for the exit!
...Paul ignores his terrible guts and his mashed up limbs and bruised head and scorched skin and dashes madly down the tunnel towards the light! Dragging his fractured leg behind him, he nevertheless makes quite good time until suddenly the pyramid shakes with a massive rumble! The tilt of the floor seems to move, causing Paul to lose his footing and smash facewards to the rubble covered ground!
“Ouch! Damn, man, I’m never going to get me and my guitar out of here if I don’t get a move on. Come on, man, come on! Er. What’s… Is that… Oh gosh. Oh. Oh dear.”Paul looks over his shoulder to see an enormous tsunami of dirty water powering towards him like a mob of overexcited teenage Beatles fans! Holding onto his guitar for comfort, Paul McCartney is picked up by the wave of mathemagical water and shot down the tunnel at considerable speed, approaching the light like a rabbit approaching a welcoming headlight!
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrg!”… … … … … …
Suddenly
the Last Beatle is propelled out of the pyramid, falling ten feet below into an increasingly wet puddle of mud. With the mathemagical water falling unendingly above him, he looks away from the stricken pyramid to see a fear-inspiring sight!
The bowiecopter is circling the new extraction point, rockets streaking furiously and miniguns showering millions of bullet casings down to earth as over ten thousand communists shoot their Russian-style assault rifles into the air!
A new stream of water starts pouring over the young musician’s head, suddenly joined by a pouring
trio of bowienauts!
“Oh shit, sorry mate! Didn’t see you there under all that dirty water, Paul! Good to see you, mate! Oi! Ouch! Hey, I’m a pretty sensitive fella, don’t fall on me like that!”
“Awful sorry, Stevo. I was just doubletiming down that there tunnel and was suddenly swept away by a wall of rushing water with nary a beaver to surf upon and then I suddenly got shot out onto – “
“I say chaps! Look out below!”The three bowienauts look up and see
Archimedes gently wafting to the ground, robes billowing out and parachuting him gently to safety!
“Oh crikey mate! Didn’t you ancient Greeks invent underwear yet? Jesus, mate!”
“Underwear?”… … … … … …
The reunited bowienauts’ gentle banter is interrupted by the violent explosions of rocket propelled grenades shooting off into the sky, echoing loudly above the massed small arms fire. Smoke streaks across the war torn landscape, a hundred plumes of deceptively slow missiles waddling uncertainly towards the sparkling bowiecopter.
A moment of silence descends across the battlefield as one hits its target and the bowiecopter’s tail shatters fragments of bowieminium across the sky.
… … … … … …
The silence is burst apart as the neurocomm interlink crackles into startled life inside the bowienauts’ heads! It’s the mellifluous tones of the
co-pilot!“Uh. Bowie? We’ve uh… we’ve taken a hit, over.”
“A hit? While you’re in the ai – Oh, you mean – oh, I see. Does it look bad?”
“Well… we’ve lost rear rotor control, we're down to sequin-level shields, and we’re steadily losing altitude, over.”
“Ok. Well, Vince, you try to bring her down safely. Try and get somewhere near the ground team, man. Marcus, keep those guns spinning dude, and just try to keep Vincey from freaking out, ok? Oh dude. Heavy.”
“Roger that David. Vince, keep breathing man. We can make this. Remember your training. We’re gonna bring this bird down right on top of the ground team and the search and rescue are gonna get us out of here in time for tea and courtesans. Don’t you worry! Hey! Vince! What the blazes man? That’s the only blasted parachute!”More than a mile away from them, the ground team spy the tiny figure of
Vincent van Gogh tumbling out of the bowiecopter with the only parachute!
“Bloody hell David. Vincent’s jumped out the bloody pilot’s seat. I knew he wasn’t bloody ready. I should’ve listened! I just had too much damn faith in the boy. Oh well. Best land this bloody thing I suppose. David, I’m switching over to the pilot’s seat and I’m taking this baby down! Watch out ground team, you’re about to witness the Pi-“
“Yeah, that’s enough Marcus. Ground team, head directly to the crash site and we’ll get you out of there as soon as we can, over.”The bowienauts watch in horror as the bowiecopter slowmotions to the ground, crashing with a sickening impact some hundred metres to the north!
“This uh… This is the Magnificent Timelord on the general bowiemergency frequency. All area CSAR units to scramble, destination location Alpha Charlie Zulu. We got a bowiecopter down. I repeat: we got a bowiecopter down, over.”
VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS
EFFECTS IN EFFECTNone.
Player: Talarion
Name: Steve Irwin, Level Two Crocodile Hunter
Status: -1 to ranged attacks. -1 to smelling.
Inventory: Khaki Shorts, Mate.
Wounds: [HP:75/75] |
Broken Left Eye! |
Fractured Nose!Skills: Croc Wrestler,
Flying Emu Crocodile Takedown Move,
Oh Shit Is That... Player: freeformschooler
Name: Paul McCartney, Level Two Beatle
Status: -1 to movement rolls. -1 to dodging and defence. -1 to strumming. -1 to left leg use.
Inventory: Acoustic Guitar Wounds: [HP:34/75] |
Broken Guts! |
Fractured Guts! |
Fractured Right Leg! |
Broken Right Arm!Skills: The Power of Gentle Loving,
That's a Catchy Tun-arrgh!,
I'm Not a Fighter, Man! Player: Toaster
Name: Davy Crockett, Level Two King of the Wild Frontier
Status: Severed arm. -1 to two handed weaponry. -1 to defence rolls unless wearing Facial Protection Catmask. -1 blurred vision penalty to ranged attacks.
Inventory: Bowie Knife, Flintlock Rifle,
Boone,
Facial Protection Catmask!,
Miaowskin-facehat, fractured and severed left arm.
Wounds: [HP:45/75],
Fractured Left Arm! |
Broken Face! |
Severed Left Arm! |
Heavy Left Arm Stump Bleeding! |
Heavier Head Bruising!Skills: Crack Shot,
Ohio Leap,
You May All Go to Hell... Player: 10ebbor10
Name: Archimedes of Syracuse, Level Two Philosopher
Status: -1 to left arm.
Inventory: A Remarkably Good Approximation of Pi, PPSh-41 Submachine Gun, two clips,
Chinese first aid kit.
Wounds: [HP:75/75] |
Fractured Left Arm!Skills: Multiply This! Literal Mathemagics,
Absent Minded! 
Author
Topic: The Magnificent Timelord - Epilogued (Read 238951 times)