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Wait for Next Version, Use current (.40.24,) or use older release (.34.11?)

Wait for the next release. I want usable mugs damn it!
- 52 (72.2%)
We can use the current one. I like the big trees and slightly smarter dorfs.
- 15 (20.8%)
I'll take .34.11 thanks. I want to know I'll get to kill things for sure.
- 5 (6.9%)

Total Members Voted: 72


Pages: 1 ... 111 112 [113] 114 115 ... 812

Author Topic: [34.11] Spearbreakers - SEQUEL UNDERWAY. POST THERE INSTEAD.  (Read 1344077 times)

Mr Frog

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Re: Spearbreakers - Madness. Mayhem. Mugs. (.34.07)
« Reply #1680 on: June 01, 2012, 12:14:28 am »

Good job on the story. Couple errant adjectives, some of the transitions between paragraphs are a bit awkward, but it's still nicely-executed. NOTE: Not intended as expert analysis. (I just like to pretend.)

Anyone think I should finish up my daft little Mr Frog/Joseph sidestory and post it? We need some sort of influx of creative material, and it looks like all of our regular contributors have fallen off the face of the earth or something :-\ Ah, the glory days...
In the meantime, keep it up, Hans.

Are you going to write anything, Reudh? I seem to have you pegged as a writer for some reason ??? Not sure why.

NotAnEdit: Wow, ninja'd by two posts... Hans, you work fast.
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A great human twisted into humanoid form. It has an emaciated appearance and it squirms and fidgets. Beware its bronyism!

Spawn of Holistic, and other mods

My tileset. Because someone asked. (Now with installation instructions!)
I so want your spawn babies

Hanslanda

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Re: Spearbreakers - Madness. Mayhem. Mugs. (.34.07)
« Reply #1681 on: June 01, 2012, 12:20:46 am »

Hey, the first one took fifteen minutes, the second was merely a logical progression of events, and took less time as a result. Also, I LIKE Spearbreakers, and I'm not letting it get off the first page if I have ANY say in the matter.

And I appreciate the analysis, I knew there was some bits that didn't quite work, but in any 'real' writing situation there would be a stage of editing in between, so hopefully the awkward transitions and adjectives would be caught. Plus, I've never been in a 'real fight', so its kinda hard to judge how the action flows from a purely theoretical point of view.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Splint

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Re: Spearbreakers - Madness. Mayhem. Mugs. (.34.07)
« Reply #1682 on: June 01, 2012, 12:27:38 am »

It gets messy. And when fighting at arms length, it's a good thing dwarves eem to be genetically encoded to shut off thier empathy when killing sentients of any race. It must be psychologically jarring when they have to kill alot in a short timespan though

(Hell, i had a carpenter drafted ina hurry to fight of rhesus macaques, he killed 12 in less than a day and a half. Was at Doesn't give two shits about anything anymore after that.)

Hanslanda

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Re: Spearbreakers - Madness. Mayhem. Mugs. (.34.07)
« Reply #1683 on: June 01, 2012, 12:32:15 am »

See, that's why I don't fight. I'm young, strong, and rather tall. Several advantages. I also know that eyes are very delicate, throats are easily crushed, your hands are delicate flowers made of plasticine, and knees are hilariously easy to destroy with a snap kick, even though kicks are kinda useless otherwise. I don't want to get hurt/go to jail again, but I also don't want to kill or ruin someone for life and get sent to prison. Plus, fighting is dumb when lives aren't on the line. Hospitals are expensive.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Splint

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Re: Spearbreakers - Madness. Mayhem. Mugs. (.34.07)
« Reply #1684 on: June 01, 2012, 12:33:00 am »

Or in our case, hospitals are a potential deaths entence...

Mr Frog

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Re: Spearbreakers - Madness. Mayhem. Mugs. (.34.07)
« Reply #1685 on: June 01, 2012, 12:35:50 am »

@Hanslanda:

I was sort of testing the waters, there... You can never really tell on the Internet :p  Some people seem nice and reasonable yet turn into screeching drama queens the second they hear something they don't like :p

I thought the fight scene was pretty good, actually*. There were a couple actions that should have been extended into multiple clauses** (one that really sticks out is where the last Spawn bowls the grappling duo off the bed*** -- it's written as one self-contained event even though it should have been something like 'the final spawn leaped forward and tackled the duo, bowling them off the bed').

*It's worth mentioning that, as a 120-pound weakling who's never been in any sort of physical altercation, I have exactly zero practical experience to back this up.
**"Clause" is the right word, right? I suck at technical-speak :-[
***...Right? Christ, I just read it 10 minutes ago and my memory's already spotty :-[ I'm too young to be senile!
« Last Edit: June 01, 2012, 12:37:40 am by Mr Frog »
Logged
A great human twisted into humanoid form. It has an emaciated appearance and it squirms and fidgets. Beware its bronyism!

Spawn of Holistic, and other mods

My tileset. Because someone asked. (Now with installation instructions!)
I so want your spawn babies

Splint

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Re: Spearbreakers - Madness. Mayhem. Mugs. (.34.07)
« Reply #1686 on: June 01, 2012, 12:37:50 am »

Mental stability is for the weak. And one must be insane to play this fortress.

ThatAussieGuy

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Re: Spearbreakers - Madness. Mayhem. Mugs. (.34.07)
« Reply #1687 on: June 01, 2012, 12:50:01 am »

Mental stability is for the weak. And one must be insane to play this fortress.

God dammit.  I'm too overqualified for this fort then.

Splint

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Re: Spearbreakers - Madness. Mayhem. Mugs. (.34.07)
« Reply #1688 on: June 01, 2012, 12:54:43 am »

Nope, you have the exact qualifications we  need!

Mitchewawa

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Re: Spearbreakers - Madness. Mayhem. Mugs. (.34.07)
« Reply #1689 on: June 01, 2012, 12:58:18 am »

Boy do I feel silly, I've had this typed up for a while but I forgot to post it!



Year 205, the rule of Mitch
Chapter 13: Time rolls away

It took me a while to realise, but I have been quite cut off socially from the rest of the fortress. Despite my popularity as overseer, I am only in possession of six 'passing acquaintances', and no friends. Fame is quite sad; seeing people smile at me in the hallway, with a nod and a hello, all-the-while not knowing much about me beyond, 'the guy that saved dozens of lives in medicine, revolutionised and streamlined the entire fortress and set up the entire military'. That title means more then my name. I think after this winter, I may retire. After all, there isn't much more I can do. All that is left for things to take effect is time; time for migrants to arrive to bolster production, time for the more vulnerable recruits to train, and time for Spearbreakers to realise my dream.

It shames me that I couldn't enact The Plan myself, though.


22nd Moonstone:


I don't know why, but for some reason I feel like making the barracks a kind and warming place. So I put a smiling face in there. And told everyone to only train within 3 square meters. Group hug!

The area where we fought goblins is starting to miasma, plus we found a necromancer tome. 'We see Deler Inkblushed, the asshole who ruined my day', written by Deler Inkblushed the Union of Assholes. It concerns how much of his ass remains un-kicked by us (none), the writing is fairly crisp and it has its moments of pop-up pictures.


25th Moonstone:

I cut two military squads in half, and made them into four. To help with training.

Also begun work on another personal project. This one isn't obscure; I'm just going to make a smoke chimney using a bituminous coal artifact bed. No biggie.


12th Opal:

The amount of idlers has gone up to 20. This is... beyond what I wanted. Work isn't being done. I'm going to install a giant statuary, that will give everyone something to do. While that is getting dug out, new policy; everything inside our walls is ours. Yep, it's time to drag all of that useless goblin armour and weaponry inside.


My new training regime is paying off; the men are forgoing the slow, ineffective 'combat demonstrations' in favour of sparring.


3rd Obsidian:

Time, rolling away like waves. I still haven't finished the statuary, or the chimney. And I only have a week to go. On the plus side, the monument, has been completed.
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Mitch cancels sleep: Interrupted by Clowns

Splint

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Re: Spearbreakers - Madness. Mayhem. Mugs. (.34.07)
« Reply #1690 on: June 01, 2012, 01:02:26 am »

ABout damn time! GLad to see an update Mitch, I trust you read Hanlanda's stories too?

Mitchewawa

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Re: Spearbreakers - Madness. Mayhem. Mugs. (.34.07)
« Reply #1691 on: June 01, 2012, 04:09:55 am »

ABout damn time! GLad to see an update Mitch, I trust you read Hanlanda's stories too?

No, I did not, I'mma do that now...

Holy shit.
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Mitch cancels sleep: Interrupted by Clowns

Hanslanda

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Re: Spearbreakers - Madness. Mayhem. Mugs. (.34.07)
« Reply #1692 on: June 01, 2012, 11:26:03 am »

@Hanslanda:

I was sort of testing the waters, there... You can never really tell on the Internet :p  Some people seem nice and reasonable yet turn into screeching drama queens the second they hear something they don't like :p

I thought the fight scene was pretty good, actually*. There were a couple actions that should have been extended into multiple clauses** (one that really sticks out is where the last Spawn bowls the grappling duo off the bed*** -- it's written as one self-contained event even though it should have been something like 'the final spawn leaped forward and tackled the duo, bowling them off the bed').

*It's worth mentioning that, as a 120-pound weakling who's never been in any sort of physical altercation, I have exactly zero practical experience to back this up.
**"Clause" is the right word, right? I suck at technical-speak :-[
***...Right? Christ, I just read it 10 minutes ago and my memory's already spotty :-[ I'm too young to be senile!

There is no need to get upset at constructive criticism. People aren't being cruel and trying to demolish your writing when they say, 'This could have been better here and here.'  They're helping. :)

I like the smiley face Mitch, how'd you manage that?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Nothing nice happens to this guy. Around eight thirty my time tonight, I'll post the next segment in the story. :)
Logged
Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Mr Frog

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Re: Spearbreakers - Madness. Mayhem. Mugs. (.34.07)
« Reply #1693 on: June 01, 2012, 11:49:50 am »

Lovely, Mitch. In our darkest hour, that happy face will still be there, taunting us :\
Logged
A great human twisted into humanoid form. It has an emaciated appearance and it squirms and fidgets. Beware its bronyism!

Spawn of Holistic, and other mods

My tileset. Because someone asked. (Now with installation instructions!)
I so want your spawn babies

Splint

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Re: Spearbreakers - Madness. Mayhem. Mugs. (.34.07)
« Reply #1694 on: June 01, 2012, 12:14:44 pm »

Lovely work Hans, if a bit grim. But that's the norm here so wtf do I know?  :P

And I think he used cinnibar or bauxite and some cobaltite. I knew we hit some somewhere, so he just made paved road peices from that.
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