Naturally I would commandeer the fort's entire iron works. I imagine I'm holed up in the forges right now, only leaving to get snacks and snarling at anyone who tries to pitch in.
New Guy: "Greetings, Sir Frog! I am Person O'Whatshisface, legendary weaponsmith and forger of Lesno the Eerie Blueness of Stabbing. I shall assist you in your --"
Mr Frog: "NO YOU WILL NOT. GET OUT AND DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ANYTHING OR YOU'LL PROBABLY SCREW IT UP."
(Maybe make this an official community fort with its own thread?)
EDIT: Ninja'd by... OH.
It's the end of the world, Splint