Skevered? That should be a word.
I've been ever so busy these past months an' all, I ain't e'en had time to make a journal post or nothin'. I's been hungry, too... Got forced to eat stuff from the kitchen again, I did. Draignean's rooms got locked up tight for some dagnab reason - his rooms are near the Spawn an' all, and I couldn't my foot in worth a shoehorn's toe.
I know I'm forgettin' stuff I shouldn' be. Mr Frog - I watch him close - he keeps his room locked up tight all th' time now, and I ain't had no way t' get in thar' anymores. He closed down the lil' tunnel from my room to his - now why'd you suppose he'd go and do a thing like that fer? Makes no sense, I says for sure. Honest to goodness it don't. He's even been lockin his doors and nonsense. Mr Frog didn't used to never lock his doors, and I ain't got no clear idea why he's doin' it now. I cain't even get a good look at him half the time, 'less he's busy. Strange thing a'happened a couple'a days ago, tho'... Not sure how t'describe it an' all, but I think I'll do my right best, I will.
'Kay, see, Mr. Paintbrushturkey's a milit'ry man an' all, so he wanted a fuggle-ton of mugs an such for his army dwarves... I ain't rightly never seen no army as well decked out as him. I'm purty sure you could fill a pumpkin's hat with alla them if y'wanted, and I allus know how heavy my pumkins is. Now, just 'cause I ain't ever had a pumpkin of my own don't mean I doesn't know how much mine weigh, I can tell you that for sure. Anyhow... Paintbrushturkey said I weren't s'posed to make mechanisms no more, and I weren't supposed to cook, or chop trees an' stuff. He took my axe away... think it might have somethin' to do with how I attacked Mr Frog an' such... but really, honest, I don't know why I attacked 'im in the first place. No, Paintbrushturkey (I like that name, it's got foods in it) said I oughta go and make a ton of armor. I reckoned I'd best to do what he says, so I wents down an' I started makin' armor. I make right good armor, I do... E'eryone says so.
But I really miss my cavies... Splint made a "skulker barracks" a few months back - cost a lot of mugs to build, it did. That was good mugs he coulda spent gettin' cavies... And a skulker barracks? There ain't nothin' I'd like better'n for them t' all lay down and die, or jus' run off yonder into the rainin' blood an' never come back. But it ain't my place to say, no... I shouldn't say such things, Mr Frog'll want to question me again.
Anyhow... So... Few weeks back, I was throwin' a party in the dinin' room, y'know? I do so love parties, an' I was happy. Splint ordered me a cavy or two from the mountainhomes, an' now I'm gonna get some cavies! Sweet lil cuddly cute lil things that you cain't help but smile when y'see. Gods, I love me a good cavy.
But not cooked. That's a crime against everythang, I rightly know. Even for how Spearbreakers is like hell an' all, it's still too evil for someones to do. I jus' wish I could remember what happen to all of my other cavies... Georgie Boy and Petunia and Elana... Where's'd'they all go? I don't got no idea...
Dear me, I keeps gettin' distracted an' all... 'Kay, so... I was throwin' a party, an' there were so many purty people there. They all love my parties, an' this was the first one I'd had that weren't in mah room. Used to be they were, but people didn' like the cavy smell. Now there were ever so many people there... An' everything was so fine and dandy and beautiful...
And then SPLINT came an' tole me I had to stop "foolin' around" a'cause he wouldn't get his statue done. Why in the nine royal, fuggleplated hells we'd need a giant middle finger ousside, I ain't got no idea; not a one. So I said to 'im, I said, "Splint... I's been with you through the vampire wars, I has, and granted, I ain't the best battledwarf no more, but we was best friends way back when! Why's you gotta spoil a little of my fun? Iss just harmless stuff, same as a sunbeam in a granite puddin'!"
But Splint said no. He said I oughter get mysself down t'the stone piles an' carry me some more rocks for his finger. If that ain't the dumbest thing I ever done heard, I dunno what is, and I's about t'tell him so... Sure, he cleaned up the corpses ousside. Bombzero's turnin' in her grave at that one, I kin tell ya' fer sure. "Don't nobody touches my corpses!" I can hear her sayin' it a'most clear as apples, when I listen for it.
Mr Frog came, tho'. Aw, Mr Frog... Such a right smart dwarf, he is. An' so nice t'me, too... Still ain't sure why I attacked 'im, like people says... They used to look at me funny for a while there, they did. Anyhow, Mr Frog came an tole ol' Splint to lay off. He tole me he wanted me to make 'im something special... Part of a suit of armor. He was real specific, he was... But anyhow... I've been workin' on the armor like he said, an' I figger it ain't gonna be long til my cavies get here. Mr. Splint's up there right now, hagglin' with the traders an' the liaison man. I'll have me cavies down here soon as pie... wait...
Oh, gods, I didn' e'en think of it... I hope theys don't fall in the magma while I'm workin'! Fuggle, I'm gonna have t'keep 'em locked up in my room... An' actually lock the door, like Mr Frog does with his now... gods, I gotta go check t'make sure my lock even works - I ain't ne'er had no reason to use it afore.
Fuggle!
The entry ends here.
edit: Hanslanda, I hadn't noticed before just how little Urist sleeps.
There's at least four of Urist's updates between two of Vanya's, because she sleeps pretty often... Keeping track of the days is a bit confusing. I think we might have an actual chronological continuity problem.
Hopefully not, but we'll see...
reedit: Armok's infinite beard, what have I gotten myself into... o_o
Okay, just hit page 145, and I'm getting Splint's stories into the continuity. If I was up to my neck in snarls before, I'm possibly drowning now. I can only hope the readers won't feel the same way. Seriously, guys, there's like four different stories happening at once, and
.
But... this is Spearbreakers... Mugs come in the door, and sanity goes out the window...
my brain is mush.
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Topic: [34.11] Spearbreakers - It shudders and begins to move (Read 2193502 times)