Vanya's Journals, part 52: One Small Truth At long last, Dr. Russ returns with your beer, seeming a bit peeved to be acting as your errandboy.
Taking it fro him, you pop the cap and taste it. "Not bad," you say critically, "though it lacks the 'oomph' I'm used to." You turn back towards him quickly enough to see an annoyed expression vanish from his face. You don't trust him, somehow... possibly because the dark-haired woman across from you doesn't seem to. In fact, she seems to bear a strong dislike towards the dwarf.
"If everything is in order, I have other research to attend to," Thian says, walking briskly to the door. As he leaves, he motions a couple guards inside, whispering something to them. You strain to hear what he says, but to no avail, and you turn a disconcerted eye back to the page. Having finished his speech, Trebor stepped away from the podium. Everyone around me rose to their feet, applauding ear-shatteringly, but he didn't seem to care. After waving the general away, he left through a back exit, not even bothering to talk to anyone.
Beside me, in a voice loud enough that I could hear, Reudh called, "That was superb! Was it not?" but my eyes were on Katie as she left the stage, motioning for me to follow.
It was a madhouse. The entire audience seemed to be talking as they started filing out the rows, overcrowding the narrow aisles and spilling into the front... it was all I could do to weave my way between them, dodging left and right, twisting carefully around to avoid bumping into anyone. I later learned that it wasn't even supposed to be over yet, but Trebor's speech had thrown everyone off. They all
thought it was over.
With some effort, I managed to leave through the exit Katie had used, and found her right outside the door, talking to Solnay.
"You really should come down to where I work sometime, sweetie," she was saying, holding Katie's hands tightly in her plump ones. "Oh, Vanya!" she shouted, her face erupting into a wide, gracious smile as she caught sight of where I stood. "I was just telling Katie, you two should really come down to where I work sometime! I'm sure you'd love it there."
"That's all right," Katie said. "Vanya and I will be busy for a while... Trebor!" she shouted suddenly, almost as if to change the subject. Pulling away, she rushed towards him through the crowd, leaving me alone with Solnay.
As the woman turned her attention to me, smelling heavily of soap and perfume. She was a friendly person, but a little too pleasant, if that makes any sense. "You really should come down to where I work. I don't ever get visitors," she said regrettably.
I'd already lost track of Katie, so I humored Solnay for a moment. "Why not?" I asked, trying to make conversation. "Where do you work?"
"Applied Sciences, sweetie. I told you that before, remember?" She gave me a patronizing smile.
I could only nod in return. "I don't know what that means, though..."
Solnay laughed – a happy, nasally sound that vaguely brought to mind a vision of someone strangling a duck. "It means I
make things," she explained exuberantly. "
Lots of things – things that help Parasol grow, things that help our soldiers out in the field... things that you and my Jonah probably used while fighting Ballpoint." The name of her husband seemed to sober her mood, and the smile gradually faded from her face. "I... I need to go now, sweetie. I'll talk to you some other time, all right?"
"All right," I replied, watching the interweaving crowds envelop her as she walked away, leaving me feeling very much alone.
It was a feeling that faded quickly. "Vanya?" Katie asked concernedly, coming up to me from behind. "Where did Solnay go?" It was hard to understand her through all the noise.
I turned, pointing in the direction Solnay had gone. "She said she had to leave," I explained. "Where did
you go?"
Her eyes paused for a moment, searching where I'd indicated, but finally drew themselves back to me. "I had to talk to Trebor, and find out what was wrong. It wasn't like him to just
leave like that..."
"What
was wrong?"
"He didn't feel the ceremony did them justice," she said. I got the feeling she had a different opinion of it all... there was an uneasiness in her expression as she thought of him. "He wants me to meet him at his place in a couple days so I can help him write their story." With that, she glanced back at me quickly and took my hand with an impish smile. "C'mon, it's almost noon. I wanna take you shopping."
"Noon?" I asked in confusion as she led me hurriedly through the crowds, dwarves and humans continuing to spill forth from the auditorium. "How could it be so late already? We weren't in there very long at all."
She laughed. "We were in there for almost four hours! Old Baltus took forever to deliver his speeches, and then Trebor talked for a good twenty minutes."
My imaginative mind began toying with the theory that time flowed different in Parasol's universe when you weren't watching... a childish theory that was easy to disprove, but really... I'd hadn't thought more than an hour had passed.
~~~
My first impression of the Parasol market was that it was the most active place I'd ever seen... People rushed back and forth in sparsely populated groups, whirling about, making their way calmly to their destinations. Above them, colored lights flashed; transparent displays hanging in front of shops flashed with images of the wares within. It wasn't underground, but it might as well have been – there were no windows to be seen, an added bonus for a dwarf. It was all in the uniform Parasol white, black, and blue, with metallic-blue walls, white lights far overheard, and blackish trim. Everything seemed to "pulse" with some underlying power, as if everything moved with a purpose.
"Welcome to Division 3's main mall," Katie said proudly. She gave a bubbly laugh, watching my awed expression with mirth. "I never thought it would be so much fun taking you everywhere!"
It took me a momoent to process what she said, my mind was so overloaded with new sights and sounds. "Is that why I'm here?" I asked. "I don't have any Parasol money..." I stopped, considering what I'd just said, and I laughed. "I don't even know what you
use for money... or if you even use money at all."
"Of course we use money, silly," my friend teased. "And I'm going to buy stuff for you. I was getting paid for serving in the military, even if that wasn't why... why I was... why I joined..." Her voice trailed off, her eyes blank. For a time, neither of us spoke, though people curved past us as regularly as before, going to and from the shuttlecar station behind us.
"Katie?" I asked quietly, gently touching the back of her hand with my fingertips.
She jumped, glancing downwards, and then up at me with a surprised expression. "What?" she asked briefly, and then she seemed to deliberately calm herself, forcing her thoughts away from unpleasant places. "...Right. We need to um... Shopping. So... yeah! C'mon, let's go."
In a way, the "Mall" reminded me of the Spearbreakers marketplace... In another way, it wasn't like regular dwarven architecture at all. My skulker's eyes, sharp as they once were, couldn't find any safe alleyways for a homeless citizen., and there weren't any poorly-dressed people anywhere in sight. It looked as if there wasn't a basement class at all.
I asked Katie about it while she browsed around through a shoe store, looking for something that would better fit my feet. She told me that Parasol
did have a basement class... but they were all taken away to "homeless shelters" and typically never heard from again. Rather than ignoring the problem, or trying to fix it, they covered it up. It seemed cruel to me... but then, I was biased: I used to be part of the basement class, myself.
While we spent the next two hours looking at shoes, I'd spent the hours before that just trying to
keep up with Katie, as she'd led me excitedly from store to store, showing me everything the Mall had to offer. I wasn't sure, but I thought it might have something to do with her trying to forget about Saemin.
"Is there anything else you need?" she asked, looking me up and down as I left the store in a new pair of boots.
"I'd like a journal..." I started to say, but I felt guilty about it immediately. "Anything will do, really," I said hurriedly. "I used to have a journal made of bits of posters, but Mr Frog took it away and I never saw it again."
She raised an eyebrow. "I always heard
good things about Mr Frog, whenever he was mentioned... He isn't super famous or anything, so you never heard much, but it was always good when you did. Did he really just
take it?"
"He thought I was a spy," I explained quietly. It brought Joseph to my mind, and again I started pondering what he'd said. I still refused to believe he'd been telling the truth... but from what I seen, Parasol seemed to care less about their employees and more about their goals. With an absent mind, I followed my friend as she led me from one store to the next.
"Here!" Katie exclaimed suddenly, a smile breaking over her face as she lifted a journal off a high shelf. "The cover is only compressed cardboard, not leather like you'd be used to," she explained apologetically, holding it out. "It's of good quality, though... Here, look at it."
I took it with a hand and turned it over to see the front. My heart seemed to stop as I saw the design painted on its red-brown cover: a golden, five-pointed star. With a suspicious, curious expression, I turned my eyes upwards towards Katie's smiling face.
"A pentagram," I said softly, leveling a piercing stare at her. I would believe many things – I knew I was a gullible person... but this was too close for coincidence. Out of the hundreds of journals we passed, she'd chosen
this... one the only set of journals inscribed with the symbol I considered mine.
Her smile slowly drew itself into a confused frown. "Yes...?"
"Why did you choose this one?" I asked. I felt a strong distrust towards my friend, for the first time since we'd met. My symbol was a personal thing, something I never told anyone about. Not even her.
Katie looked uncomfortable. "It had a five-pointed star on it," she said uneasily. "I thought you might like it."
"What reason would
you have to think I would like it?"
"I... You mentioned there was a star-shaped charm on your sister's bracelet, when you told me about it at the trench..." She hesitated, her eyes flicking about towards passersby. "I thought maybe you would like something to sort of... remember her by..."
My gaze softened as I thought it over. It made sense, in a way, though there still seemed to be questions left unanswered: If I'd been by myself, I would've picked the exact same journal.
"Do you not like it?" she asked worriedly. "We can get another one if you want – I didn't... I just thought..."
For some reason, I found her concern slightly amusing. "It's fine," I said softly, smiling a little in spite of myself. "It's perfect. Thank you, Katie."
She swallowed nervously. "Let's go check out," she finally said with an uncertain glance towards a clock. "It's getting late.
I felt a little guilty for not trusting her, really... I suppose that it's partially because of my skulker origins, but I know that's no excuse. The only person I'd ever trusted implicitly was my sister. It's hard for me to learn to trust someone so quickly... especially if they have a knack for intuition.
~~~
Katie and I had a difficult time getting back to Rubywood Apartments... She thought she would try to pease her father by walking back instead of taking the shuttlecar. When I asked how far away we were, she said "close".
In Spearbreakers, "close" meant "five minutes away." In Parasol, it seemed that "close" meant "eight city blocks and a taxi," and I had to learn what a "taxi" was while I was using it. Something seemed to hinder every step of our path, be it a malfunctioning elevator or a high-strung security guard, and my friend wasn't in the best mood when we walked in the door.
Kenzon was in the main room, sitting comfortably in the cushy green chair I'd noticed the night before andwatching as hovering images played above the device in the center of the table. The sound of voices emanated from it, lilting softly through the air. "You didn't bring groceries?!" he exclaimed incredulously. "What are we supposed to eat if we don't have groceries?"
"Dad, I just got home yesterday," Katie pointed out, closing the door behind us after we'd entered.
Her father all but growled at her, narrowing his eyes. "Don't give me excuses, Katalina. As long as you're under
my roof, you'll live by
my rules. You always got the groceries before. Just because you thought you were 'mature enough' to join the military," he scoffed, "it doesn't mean you can shirk your chores now. We all have our duties, Katie, and it's time you start behaving responsibly."
"I'm almost an adult!" my friend said heatedly. "My eighteenth birthday is in just a few months! And I
am responsible."
"An adult??" Kenzon spat. "An uneducated highschool dropout, maybe." With a snarl, he stood, muting the device on the table with a wave of his hand. "You still haven't learned the
meaning of responsibility."
"I'm more responsible than you, at least!" Katie started, clenching her fists, her face scrunched up in a semblance of anger. "You wouldn't even come to the ceremony today!"
"Don't talk back to me!" the man replied crossly, storming over to her. He was a full foot taller than she. "I had
work, Katie. The fact that
I wouldn't shirk my duties makes me
far more responsible than you. Not only that, but what about your squadmates?" he asked cruelly. "You were responsible for their lives, and almost every one of them died. I think that illustrates my point perfectly."
Katie stopped, speechless at her father's low blow. I felt like I shouldn't be there, but I was torn between leaving and defending my friend. What happened at 48D wasn't her fault, and I felt a little angry that her own father would accuse her of it being so.
Her father seemed to realize this, too. He frowned regretfully, grimacing as he sank onto a nearby couch. "I'm sorry," Kenzon said, turning away. "I shouldn't have said that. Look, Katie... just order something from the catering division." With that, he unmuted the device in the middle of the table with another hand wave and started watching.
"Vanya, I'll be back in a minute," Katie whispered, looking at me apologetically. "I'm sorry you were here for that. He never acted like that while Grandma was around."
"He shouldn't act like that even with her away," I whispered back, but I'm not sure if she heard me... She was already on her way to the kitchen.
With my new journal under my arm, I hesitantly approached Kenzon, intending to reproach him for being so rude to his daughter.
He looked up before I had a chance. "Have you ever seen a televiewer before?"
"What?" I asked, unfamiliar with the word.
A corner of his mouth tweaked upward, and he scratched the bald spot on his head, making an awkward gesture towards the pyramidal device on the table. "Most people call it a 'crystal' for how it makes the images, but I'm old-fashioned – I say 'televiewer'. They called the first ones 'tubes', but I can't imagine why... Just look at it for a moment. Sometimes it takes a minute to get it right."
I did. As I stared at it, he flashing images seemed to rearrange themselves in my mind. They began forming pictures and shapes, and I soon realized I was seeing and hearing people, moving smoothly through translucent, three-dimensional images. "It's people," I whispered in surprise, enthralled by the new technology. Then, curiously, I asked, "What are they doing? I haven't seen anything like this before..."
"Definitely not. This is something you'll only see on Parasol," he said with a touch of pride. "And, to your question... it's the news."
"News?"
"Right now they're going on about how the communications division was broken into." He sounded a little disapproving. "The media is always trying to put their own spin on things to beguile people into watching, and they're putting too much importance on it."
"Too much?" I'd thought Parasol's security was perfect.
Kenzon chuckled dryly, a hint of grimness in his voice. "Things like this aren't unusual anymore. Ever since Ballpoint attacked Civilian Resources back in 200 PS, everyone is paranoid. It's nothing important anymore – probably just people trying to find out where their loved ones are... Lots of people were hoping General Baltus's speech today would put an end to that, but, obviously it didn't. That was on the viewer just a few minutes before you got here, by the way."
"Trebor's speech made more of an impact," I said, wondering if that explained it.
"Yes, I saw." He nodded and his neck around towards the kitchen doorway as his daughter emerged, bearing a sulky expression. "Katie? Did you order something
yet?"
She gave a half-nod, clearly annoyed. "I ordered Oriental." As she passed behind his chair, she motioned for me to follow her.
"Thank you for your time, Mr. Kenzon," I said, and hurried away before he could call me back.
I entered Katie's room in time to see her flop onto her bed sullenly. "Do you see why I hate him now?" she asked with a sigh, staring up at the ceiling.
Before answering, I closed the door softly, wondering if she'd meant for him to hear. "He doesn't seem very fatherly..." I noted.
"He never was," Katie answered off-handedly, covering her eyes with an arm. "He could've skipped work for a day. He knew about the ceremony – I told him this morning before I got you up. He just didn't care."
"It just seems wrong to me," I said quietly, agreeing with her sentiment. Then, a thought entered my mind. "You've
always tried to make him happy with you, haven't you?"
She got up with a lazy air, rearranging herself to lay stomach-down towards me, her head propped up on her hands, saying, "Yep. My entire life. I wasn't a bad student at school, but I wasn't good enough for him. I tried lots of different things... if I ever showed him something I was proud of, he would dismiss it not important. Afterwards, he would actually have the nerve to ask why I was upset." She rolled her tired, half-closed eyes. "Then I started jetpacking, and though he was proud of me, he never went to see any of my competitions. Only Grandma did, before she disappeared.
She actually
cared."
"And you think he doesn't?" I asked cautiously.
"Of course!" she said, drawing herself back up to a kneeling position. "After he misses the ceremony, he gets mad at me 'cause I didn't bring supper home. What kind of father
does that?"
"Not the best," I admitted, "but he still loves you."
"He never shows it," Katie said testily. "And before you say 'he might if you did first,' he never even gives me a chance to love him. He's so cold... unfeeling. It's all my mom's fault, for disappearing. She should've stayed." She hesitated for a moment, as if feeling conflicted about whether or not she should discuss the taboo topic. "Vanya, if you were in my place... No. If you could go back in time and convince my mother that she needed to stay... would you?"
For a minute, I wasn't sure what to say. "I don't know," I answered eventually. I didn't want to tell her "no"... but I could tell she held a grudge against her mother for abandoning her family. "Time isn't something that should be toyed with," I added, paraphrasing Mr Frog.
She laughed sardonically. "Funny to hear that coming from you."
"What?" I didn't understand. "Why is it strange I would say that?"
"You
always break the rules!" she replied pointedly. "You run away from home, you stay off the census lists at Spearbreakers, you broke into Mr Frog's room, stole stuff from him, broke into Ballpoint, talked to your sister even though you weren't supposed to, and
now look at you!" She gestured at me meaningfully with a flourish. "Vanya Carena, Dimension Traveler," she said in a grand, satirical tone. "You're not even supposed to
be here, and you tell me
I should follow the rules??"
I frowned and glanced down uncomfortably, staring at my booted toes. "Do you wish I wasn't here?" I whispered, hurt. I wished she hadn't mentioned my sister.
"I didn't mean
that, Vanya... I just mean..." She paused, trying to reword her thoughts. "Look... If you can do whatever you want, just 'cause you 'have to', why can't I do the same?"
"It's not a good thing," I protested, lifting my head. "I've been homeless ever since I ran away! I got abducted by Parasol
and Ballpoint, and spent a sleepless year in prison with the Spawn because of what I did to Mr Frog. And I... I lost my sister because I broke the rules to try to talk to get her back." I started shaking silently, but I was determined not to cry over her again. "It's
my fault she's dead, Katie! I always blamed it on Urist, but it was
me! I could've escaped and come back for her later, but I did what I
wanted instead of what I was
supposed to." I paused and lowered my head again, wiping a tear from my cheek with the side of my hand. My voice was hardly a whisper as I finished, "Getting Salaia back wasn't worth losing her."
I'd never thought that realizing one small truth could bring such a strong depression to my heart.
☆
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Topic: [34.11] Spearbreakers - It shudders and begins to move (Read 2190001 times)