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Author Topic: Dwarven Suicide  (Read 6163 times)

treczoks

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Dwarven Suicide
« on: March 12, 2012, 04:50:11 am »

Fellow Dwarfherders,

Sometimes I wonder whether "Dwarf" is just an euphemism for "Idiot". OK, they are good at making odd things like "..., a wharthog bone bed meanacing with spikes of dwarven sugar", but common sense is not really common among those fellas.

Take this Urist McIdiot as a prime example of dwarfiness: The refuse stockpile got a bit crowded, and the bone carver found nothing of interest any more to make bone crafts. So I built a Dwarven Atom Smasher right next to the pile, raised the bridge, placed the dump zone and had it filled. When they finished emptying out the pile, I called for a dwarf to pull the lever right next to the DAS. Urist came, pulled the lever, wondered "What am I going to do next?", and then moved on to whatever his dwarven brain thought was worthy of attention.

Well, you know that there is a delay between pulling the lever and the bridge going down? It was about as long as the dwarves' thought process. Guess where he went? Right across the garbage dump.

Big extra: That Urist McIdiot was one of my best axedwarves. He had a masterworks steel battle axe (Steel! In NoFluxLand!) and was wearing some masterworks armor pieces. To say that McSmith was p*ssed is a galactic understatement...
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I fall into a strange mood. I withdraw from society. I claim a computer. I draw pictures of bedrooms. I draw pictures of farming levels. I draw pictures of defenses. I draw pictures of pipes and pumps. I start playing Dwarf Fortress!

Sus

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Re: Dwarven Suicide
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2012, 05:35:47 am »

Sometimes I wonder whether "Dwarf" is just an euphemism for "Idiot".
Wonder not; it is. Says so on the Wiki. :P

The only solution, really, is to put a lot of extra effort in designing "dwarf-safe" constructions and methods.
Otherwise, the little morons seem to actually go out of their way to get themselves and their masterwork equipment atom-smashed, lava-fried, buried at the bottom of an ocean/a river/a goddamn multilayer aquifer, or at the very least trap themselves inside a walled-off niche or on an inaccessible ledge, just to f██k with you.

Oh, and don't even get me started on soldiers and their "Dibs on his ‼Xx pig tail fiber sock xX‼!" syndrome... ::)
« Last Edit: March 12, 2012, 05:39:09 am by Sus »
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Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

Jingles

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Re: Dwarven Suicide
« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2012, 07:16:18 am »

Do dwarfs still commit suicide and jump off bridges and such when melancholy?  It hasn't happened in one of my forts since 40d I think.  I really miss it.

As for dwarfs being suicidal in their regular every day activity, why shouldn't they be?  If they hate themselves any where near as much as I hate them, it makes a lot of sense.

Dragula

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Re: Dwarven Suicide
« Reply #3 on: March 12, 2012, 07:52:54 am »

Try digging in an ocean, in the winter, and then tell them to get up because spring is coming.
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slothen

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Re: Dwarven Suicide
« Reply #4 on: March 12, 2012, 07:54:23 am »

yeah, you can really blame the dwarf for this one.  :o
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Naryar

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Re: Dwarven Suicide
« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2012, 08:00:30 am »

next time put your DAS somewhere your dwarves will not go.

Flying Dice

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Re: Dwarven Suicide
« Reply #6 on: March 12, 2012, 08:35:11 am »

We have traffic zone designations for a reason. This one falls on you for not using them, and for not locking down the DAS room and triggering it from outside.  ;)
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robertheinrich

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Re: Dwarven Suicide
« Reply #7 on: March 12, 2012, 08:43:31 am »

Build your atom smasher into an alcove - nobody will ever go there except when you tell them to dump stuff. Designing a safe smasher is really not rocket science.
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Urist Da Vinci

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Re: Dwarven Suicide
« Reply #8 on: March 12, 2012, 08:47:05 am »

Do dwarfs still commit suicide and jump off bridges and such when melancholy?  It hasn't happened in one of my forts since 40d I think.  I really miss it.

As for dwarfs being suicidal in their regular every day activity, why shouldn't they be?  If they hate themselves any where near as much as I hate them, it makes a lot of sense.

IIRC the ones that "run around babbling" will ignore hazards, so if you build a chasm or magma moat inside your fort they will likely run into it rather than around it.

acetech09

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Re: Dwarven Suicide
« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2012, 09:58:53 am »

Do dwarfs still commit suicide and jump off bridges and such when melancholy?  It hasn't happened in one of my forts since 40d I think.  I really miss it.

As for dwarfs being suicidal in their regular every day activity, why shouldn't they be?  If they hate themselves any where near as much as I hate them, it makes a lot of sense.

IIRC the ones that "run around babbling" will ignore hazards, so if you build a chasm or magma moat inside your fort they will likely run into it rather than around it.

IIRC, they don't path - they wander aimlessly. Which includes wandering over cliffs if that's the next tile.
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ASCIt

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Re: Dwarven Suicide
« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2012, 10:03:50 am »

I've never actually had a dwarven suicide, tbh. I always felt like I was doing something wrong...
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This is a very dorfy thread, and you WILL read it.

Stefrist

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Re: Dwarven Suicide
« Reply #11 on: March 12, 2012, 10:16:11 am »

There is an incredibly complicated Dwarven invention.. the.. -drums-


DOOR! (and its lock!)
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treczoks

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Re: Dwarven Suicide
« Reply #12 on: March 12, 2012, 10:44:21 am »

next time put your DAS somewhere your dwarves will not go.
We have traffic zone designations for a reason. This one falls on you for not using them, and for not locking down the DAS room and triggering it from outside.  ;)
Build your atom smasher into an alcove - nobody will ever go there except when you tell them to dump stuff. Designing a safe smasher is really not rocket science.
There is an incredibly complicated Dwarven invention.. the.. -drums-
DOOR! (and its lock!)
OK, OK, OK, stop beating my poor hurting head!   ;D
I know that I should have known to design that bloody thing as dwarfsafe as possible from the very beginning...
I will. Next time. Promised!

Do you know the dwarf that invented the weapon trap with the large, serrated disk? His favourite tagline was "cut the crap"...
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I fall into a strange mood. I withdraw from society. I claim a computer. I draw pictures of bedrooms. I draw pictures of farming levels. I draw pictures of defenses. I draw pictures of pipes and pumps. I start playing Dwarf Fortress!

Stefrist

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Re: Dwarven Suicide
« Reply #13 on: March 12, 2012, 10:57:11 am »

next time put your DAS somewhere your dwarves will not go.
We have traffic zone designations for a reason. This one falls on you for not using them, and for not locking down the DAS room and triggering it from outside.  ;)
Build your atom smasher into an alcove - nobody will ever go there except when you tell them to dump stuff. Designing a safe smasher is really not rocket science.
There is an incredibly complicated Dwarven invention.. the.. -drums-
DOOR! (and its lock!)
OK, OK, OK, stop beating my poor hurting head!   ;D
I know that I should have known to design that bloody thing as dwarfsafe as possible from the very beginning...
I will. Next time. Promised!

Do you know the dwarf that invented the weapon trap with the large, serrated disk? His favourite tagline was "cut the crap"...

treczoks hacks the crap in the middle and the severed part sails off in an arc
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Sus

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Re: Dwarven Suicide
« Reply #14 on: March 12, 2012, 12:33:48 pm »

Do you know the dwarf that invented the weapon trap with the large, serrated disk? His favourite tagline was "cut the carp"...
ftfy.
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Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.
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