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[MerkerBenson]

o, new DF player here. Just decided to try the game a week ago and now I'm fascinated with it. It's brilliant! Really got interested in it after watching SilverDragon's LP of the game.
Well, long story short, I installed PeridexisErax's Dwarf Starter Pack and started my first fortress without much reading of the wiki.
That being said my fort at first was in danger of dying of thirst and starvation, but fortunately a few caravans arrived and after several failed experiments(I had assigned some1 without an appraisal skill so blind trading) I managed to supply the fort for some time.
A migrant wave arrived, a weretoad or something along those lines arrived as well and killed one dwarf instantly before being chased away by my rag-tag squad.
Eventually I got the grasp of the economy and I was getting rich, the area I was in was filled with coal, iron bearing rock, flux stone, gems, so I even started making steel bars, but my source of cash were the porcelain crafts, as I had a master clayworker. We only lacked a water source, but imports and eventually a plump helmet farm took care of that. One of my weaponsmiths went into the artifact mood and made a iron cool mace, which I gave to my militia commander. I had also preemptively built a huge wall around my fort so I felt relatively safe, enough that I decided to go straight to steel armor instead of making some fast iron armor and weapons, and I forgot to set my squad to train.
As my fort population reached 50, a minotaur showed up... I thought "meh, nothing got past the walls, this guy won't as well". But he proceeded to completely destroy my walls and started murdering my dwarves. I mobilized the squad of 7 untrained dwarves immediately...and they immediately died, even my mace wielding militia commander. I drafted one of the new migrants, who was a mace expert and told him to take some of that steel chainmain that had been built....he died. I eventually managed to get everyone into a burrow on the lowest level of my fort, about 30 dwarves left. The minotaur was content to clear my fort of all constructions and then camped the office of the expedition leader...who was waiting for the outpost liaison to come to a meeting...in a dormitory bellow, while the outpost liaison happily went past the pile of corpses at the entrance and waited in the meeting hall, completely oblivious to the minotaur rampaging through my base...
The minotaur and the outpost liaison occupied the first level for a couple of months, meanwhile the survivors were dying of thirst and hunger, and going insane. I released the burrow hopping at least one might survive. Well they killed each other on the way to the food pile near the entrance, and the minotaur killed a few more before going to an unfinished portion of my fortress and camping there. The outpost liaison got killed either by the minotaur or the insane dwarves, couldn't figure it out, or maybe he just left. In the end there was only one dwarf, and he became the expedition leader, so he was happy, and so he happily started to haul the corpses to the refuse pile, waiting for the next wave of migrant with hope.
That didn't last long because a goblin ambush happened right in the fort...and an arrow hit the last dwarf of my fort in the head..

The end of the beginning

Cheers

[DogsRNice]

"this sand is ugly looking lets leave"
thus is the fate of 5 dwarven settlements managed by me 

[Dirst]

I'm still fairly new to DF, making newbie mistakes like forgetting to tell my military to actually follow the training schedule, but there was one fortress that I am sure I executed as well as any expert could have.

All of those months of meticulous planning were about to pay off.  Urist McForesight had agonized over every detail of the manifest before setting out from the Mountainhome, and his comrades’ grumbling would come to an end when the new outpost had every needed thing in exactly the right amount.  Even the exasperating argument over bringing ducks instead of hens would be vindicated.

“Stop the wagon!” he shouted.

“Right here?”

Urist didn’t like having his orders questioned.  “Yes!  Right here.  This very spot, this very time, this is where the history of our brave new fortress begins.”

“The oxen don’t like it, but as you wish.”

The seven stalwart Dwarves looked upon the land that would be their new home.  Six of them had no idea what made this spot so important, so Urist explained.  “That there will be the entrance to our grand fortress.  The steep slopes above it will allow our marksdrarves to rain death upon our enemies while safely behind fortifications.”

“We could see that just as well from, say, over there,” offered one of the others, pointing to a spot closer to the entrance.

“We could,” Urist continued, “but then you wouldn’t be able to see in the same glorious vista where our littoral defense towers will rise to rain even more death upon our enemies.  This is the only place you can stand and have a good view of where all the emplacements will be.  And I see sand over there, and clay, and dolomite, so –”

“Literal defense towers?  Has anyone ever used a figurative defense tower?”

“Littoral, coastal, in shallow water.  When this frozen lake thaws in the spring, it will make the towers unassailable!  All of you, just take a moment to picture our invulnerable fortress.”

“You’re right, this is a great spot to see the whole landscape.  It will make for a glorious engraving, but –”

“But what?  It’s the perfect place for a fortress!  Wait just a moment longer, and the sun and shadows will be just right to showcase this place's magnificence.  Wait for it.  Wait for it…”

And just then the ice of the frozen lake gave out beneath the Dwarves.  Unfortunately, the spot that Urist chose for the fort’s history to begin was several wagon-lengths from the shore.  It turned out that Urist was right that ducks were a better choice of egg-layers than hens, for only the ducks survived the plunge.

There was a lake biome occupying about a quarter of my embark site, and since the climate was temperate all of the water was frozen as the game started.  The wagon started out parked on the frozen lake despite there being plenty of nice, solid ground available.  I set up an “everything” stockpile and an “everything” pasture onshore, then unpaused the game.  About three seconds later the lake thawed and swallowed up pretty much everything except the ducks.

Edit: typo.

[TheFlame52]

So in your fort a legendary fighter used her babies as dual-wield maces and used them to slaughter Santa Claus? I salute you, sir. I salute you.

Sig'd

[xxseuzxx]

i forgot to pretty much lay traps near the magma channel feeding the forges and furnaces,a group of magma crabs somehow managed to climb into the platform  and machine gun every furnace operator to death,also then climbs a fire imp that eventually burned every non fire proof living thing in the forge platform...so im stuck waiting for migrants to use as furnace operators.
id rather not talk about the ensuing tantrum spiral that i will face

[callisto8413]

I was very busy today.  Killed two Forgotten Beasts, worked on expanding the magma powered metal industry, and had to deal with a group of human traders, with yak pack animals, all at the same time.  So when everything calmed down and I sent one of my militia squads to help the hunters and their dogs wipe out the crundles who were attacking Dwarfs trying who were just collect resources I kind of took it easy.  Though, to be honest, I got really pissed off when they also KILLED one of my valuable puppies.   Kittens, sure.  Kids, I have a dozen of them.  But the dogs are useful!  Leave Them Alone! 

So here I was exploring the bodies, making sure my Dwarfs picked up ammo when I noticed that the human caravan was heading down to the caverns to exit the Fortress.  What.  What?  What?!?! 

I have, to date, killed three Forgotten Beasts.  I know, for a fact, that there is another fourth one running around.  And while I have killed off the elk birds and many of the crundles, who all taste delightful by the way - the kids love them, I know for a fact that there are other scary things down there.

If they can't find the edge of the map, and get killed, will I be blamed?

Not that I am really worried about a human invasion.  Be a change of pace, to be honest.  But if I am going to be blamed for something at least let it be for something I really did.  Know what I mean?

[Scotsmen]

So, my first fortress ended due to a tantrum spiral caused by a goblin raid. Except, it didn't, because I abandoned before the spiral had run it's course, thinking, "Heck, they're all gonna die anyway". My mistake. Because I abandoned, some of the dwarves survived. So, in my next fortress, the first migrant wave includes a family of dwarves from my first fortress. And they're all miserable, due to the tantrum spiral in my first fortress. The father proceeded to go berserk, but I quickly put him to sleep, with a miner who I drafted into a temporary squad. Unfortunately, the mother then threw multiple tantrums, eventually causing yet another tantrum spiral. That's the story of how my second fortress fell, due to the fall of my first fortress.

This game never ceases to amaze me.

[xpi0t0s]

Not a patch on others' stories, but here are a couple from my current fort, "Nilmat/HammerBent" (named after a hammer I have, which is, er, bent.  It was randomly generated, but it resonated, so I kept it).


I was getting a surprisingly high number of deaths so I did a vampire sweep and found I had three on site.  Splendid.  Well, I only need one, so here are the last thoughts of one of the other two.

"Mmm, trading, I've always wanted to give that a go.  Might get to m-eat some interesting(ly flavoured) people.  Let's have a look at the depot (I wonder what that bridge is for).  Ooh, the depot's made of silver.  Nice, shiny.  And I've got a room here, too, right next to the depot.  What's that...oh, the bridge is raising.  Never mind, nobody knows my, er, secret yet, so I'll just see what's in this room.  Hey, a caged minotaur!  Nice."

*clunk*

"Er, nice minotaur.  Niiiice minotaur.  Niiiiice mi--"
#



I tried to dispatch the second surplus vampire in the same way, but he won the scrap.  Took two minotaurs to dispatch him and he still took one of them out.  The third is now happily trading.
#


Some snapshots of the conversation with my baron:

"Make me some toy boats!"
"Make me some war hammers!"

"Make me some toy boats!"  Er, you know I can only request crafts in general don't you?  And boats only come out occasionally?  And I've already got enough to satisfy the elves for the next 200 years?  (Yes, I know, but they bring me Valley Herbs, so it's either Golden Salve or we have to import a mountain of meat for Prepared Meals.)
"Make me some war hammers!"  Well, OK, these will be helpful.

"Make me some toy boats!"  More?  Look, you've got several to play with, and I know your bath isn't *that* big cos I built it myself.
"Make me some war hammers!"  Still helpful.

"Make me some toy boats!"  What's with this?  And you won't let me export them so it's not as if I can swap them for the cheese you crave.
"Make me some war hammers!"  OK, I've got my full quota of masterwork war hammers now, thanks.

"Make me some toy boats!"  Sigh...
"Make me some war hammers!"  You know I'm only going to assign this job to the PFY and immediately melt them, don't you?  Oh, you do.  And you're not unhappy about it either. So why do you get in such a strop if I don't make them in the first place?

"Make me some toy boats!"
"Make me some war hammers!"
Look, I tell you what.  Why not go and discuss all these toy boats with the trader?  I'm sure he'll work out a good deal with you, then we can at least swap them for cheese.

"I'm not tired!"
Damn.  OK, I'll unforbid that door, very briefly, just long enough for you to move a bit.

Baron: "Hey, nice bridge!"
Me: "No, Urist McRandomPassingDwarf (even though you can't exactly be randomly passing a lever in a cul-de-sac), don't brush past that lever!  No!  I said DON'T....oh..."

*splat*
#


I'm thinking of erecting Baron McToyBoatFetish's memorial stone in the new mayor's bedroom.  "Crushed by a drawbridge" surrounded by several forbidden toy boats might just give him a hint.  However I did assign someone from Dwarf TheRapist's 150-159 section, so perhaps he'll drop dead before I get bored with his requests.

[Knick]

This happened some time ago.

The overseer of the fortress decreed that a ramp shall extend from the topmost layers of the fortress to the nethermost magma furnaces just above the magma sea.  The ramp shall be build, in a straight diagonal line, through the layers of rock regardless of terrain.  Where the ramp would break through caverns, it shall be built, rather than carved. 

Upon completion, a barracks was constructed and manned near the portion of the ramp which extended through the caverns, to ensure the safety of the fortress as a whole. 

Regrettably, a forgotten beast managed to infiltrate the grand ramp.  A forgotten beast whose primary attack consisted of spitting webs.  In sort order, the protective squad was largely incapacitated.  Civilians then attempted to recover the wounded, and more importantly, recover the possessions of those who were struck down. . .

Meanwhile, the King under the Mountain was fuming in his chambers.  He had been demanding an adamantium bed for quite some time now.  In a rage, he wandered the empty great hall, bellowing for dwarves to attend to him.  He wandered the corridors to the empty workshops, screaming for his subjects.  He passed through silent meeting halls, legendary dinning rooms, and endless stockpiles of food, drink, and crafts, without so much as a glimpse of another dwarf. . .

At the same time, the wounded and blinded forgotten beast, legs broken, claws shorn off, reduced to only one mode of attack, continued to spit webbing at the dwarves.  All two hundered dwarves including babies and children, starving and thirsty, trapped in a never ending, fruitless struggle to escape the webs of the incapacitated forgotten beast.

In the end, about fifty dwarves died.  I killed the FB by conscripting every dwarf to become a wrestler, in the hopes one of them would kill the beast.  In the end, I believe it was a crossbow bolt that did the trick.

[xpi0t0s]

Another one from Hammerbent.

A kitten or two accidentally got locked in my goblin death trap (where they'd be released from cages into a pile of weapon traps).  Well, I say "accidentally", but you know.  (Edit: With some caged gobbos.)

Anyway the inevitable fight happened and I thought I'd have a look at the logs to see how Tiddles toddled off this turf.  What I found made my jaw hit the ground.

The kitten swings the Goblin Axeman round by the foot.

Whoever likes drawing pics please draw that one.  I *must* see that.

[Darthania]

One of my speardwarves has a pet bunny called Erush Spearwipes. I like to imagine he uses it to clean off his spear

[mate888]

So, I just recently reclaimed an old fortress I had called Datan (IronMark), and it fell on a... Let's say fun way.
I had a lot of plump helmet men and women because, mushroom men! Awensome! And they also worked as a food source. But then they begun outnumbering my dwarves, and I just stood there looking at my militia being brutally murdered by a bunch of pink shrooms with arms and legs...
I now know how to control the population, but everytime that an unexpected combat log appears, my first reaction is: "Oh, God, the revolution is starting! Is starting!"
Just Dwarf Fortress, man. The only game that can make you paranoid of shrooms rebelating aganist mandwarfkind.

[TheFlame52]

I had a forgotten beast made of sand with deadly dust. My forts is completely unprepared, with no real weapons or soldiers. I expected the worst. I sent my makeshift crossbow squad to kill the beast. It ran up to one imp, used its dust, and promptly exploded. Thank Armok. I don't think anyone got caught on the blast.

[magmaholic]

My whole fortress was killed by monkey monsters.

[Shaggard]

There was this one thing, back on one of my earlier successful fortresses. I'd taken joy in the splendor of cave fish man Imperialism for a time, but had grown tired of their scaled presence in what was clearly the location of my soon to be underground bath house. I had the military purge the native fish man population with their assorted weaponry, as I'd yet to have figured out the assignment of arms, or even actual training, within the military.

Needless to say, a bunch of haphazardly armed, poorly trained dwarves managed to slaughter the majority of the scaled ones, and there only appeared to be one survivor from the former colony of dirty lake dwellers. An elite cave fish wrestler was deep underwater, doing whatever cave fish people do in their spare time. I considered Operation Dwarven Post-Imperialism a fine success, and proceeded to ignore the presence of the elite wrestler until a short time later.

The events that followed could only be explained in that, terrified of forgotten beasts as I was, I had yet to build a military that could actually confront one. It would be fair to say that had a forgotten beast ascended the poorly thought out chute to my excessively engraved outpost, there would be little remaining of it to visit as an adventurer. When I saw the notification regarding it's appearance, I had begun pondering how my next fortress would be, as I had no illusions in regards to my chances of survival. The attack never came, though. For whatever reason, he had never risen up the fairly simply pathing to my domain, and only two seasons later did I realize why, upon accidentally pressing "r".

That son of bitch had been wrestling the displaced elite fish man wrestler for half a year, and dammit if the fish man wasn't doing most of the bruising. This eldritch abomination had been this cave dweller's personal punching bag, and his talents as a fish man wrestler had evolved what one could usually assume to be a short, bloody scuffle, into a stalemate that lasted months, years. My fortress died from a goblin invasion before the fight managed to conclude, but I'd like to imagine that, as fortress after fortress passes by, they continue their struggle for the claim of the cavernous deeps.

Anyhow, long story short, don't fuck around with cave fish men.