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Author Topic: Share Your Funny Stories With Me! (Help DF Talk)  (Read 72371 times)

mastahcheese

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Re: Share Your Funny Stories With Me! (Help DF Talk)
« Reply #135 on: October 11, 2013, 01:34:29 am »

PTW
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miauw62

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Re: Share Your Funny Stories With Me! (Help DF Talk)
« Reply #136 on: October 19, 2013, 12:13:28 pm »

A funny story, I have one.

I've recently started playing DF again, breaking the infinite cycle of "I'll wait for the next update".
Either way, I was talking to some friends at school (They're not really DF fans.) and mentioned that 75% of my fort got wiped out by an ambush that I had to send all my dwarves out to fight for. (THIS did catch my friend's attention :P). I also mentioned that all of my remaining dwarves are either insane or unhappy now. Upon which he suggested hiring a clown to cheer them up. As I said, he didn't know what "clown" means in DF, so I explained it to him. Pretty funny I guess.
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Icecoon

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Re: Share Your Funny Stories With Me! (Help DF Talk)
« Reply #137 on: October 29, 2013, 04:22:11 am »

One of my dwarven babies got involved in a combat in my fortress after one of my dwarves got berserk because I was unable to give him the required materials for his grand legendary artefact project. He attacked the baby, so I called in the military, because I feared he would kill him. Well it ended unexpectedly. I do not have a screenshot, so it happened like this:

Urist McBerserk punches the Dwarven baby in his left arm, bruising the muscle.
Dwarven baby kicks Urist McBerserk in his head, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain.

Urist McBerserk has been struck down!?
Well, what the...

I hope the baby will pull through, it received a serious beating before that Chuck Norris like kick.  :D
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"This is a well crafted billon statue of Urist McChickenlover.
The item is a well-designed image Urist McChickenlover the dwarf and a chicken in billon.
Urist McChickenlover is embracing the chicken."

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DrakeSays

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Re: Share Your Funny Stories With Me! (Help DF Talk)
« Reply #138 on: November 18, 2013, 09:04:33 pm »

Okay, so after a lot of practice i got a TON of progress made. It was going well, and i had 30+ Dwarves, before realizing i had a herd of angry elephants at the door (I had some... Troubles with them in this world.) I went to tunnel out the back and then i realized, i had built the fort on a cliff because it was asthetically pleasing. (As pleasing as you can get with ASCII.) Four of the dwarves died before they realized there was a cliff there, and the rest died when the elephants got in. Special Mention goes to Thomas the Archer (Nickname for him, i can't remember his real name, but it was Mcsomething,) Who was killed by a FLAMING PIECE OF FLYING WOOD that effectively gutted him. Bled out over the course of several minutes after hit happened. Probably the best death i've ever had.
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Raunyc

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Re: Share Your Funny Stories With Me! (Help DF Talk)
« Reply #139 on: December 02, 2013, 03:12:03 am »

Sorry if I'm digging this up, but I figured I had a great story to add.

Managed to get a pop of around ~120 everything going great, then a Forgotten Dimetridon showed up with it's poison cloud and went rampant as they do...   So I had my army destroyed by this foggy beast, except for one dwarf, who had been sleeping in the barracks... he came to during the fight, as everyone else ran about in a panic.  This lone dwarf, an axdwaf at the time ran at the forgotten beast as though it was nothing. Well he lost his left leg and right arm in a few instances. He however continued to fight, ignoring the "flesh wounds" and strangled the beast down, at this point everyone else in the fort had been killed by the poison fog...  So this lone dwarf spent 3 seasons choking the forgotten behemoth, until the dwarven caravan showed up to finally dispatch it (I had made many enemies along the way, and all the migrants died to the fog running in...) then once the beast was dead, fell the the floor unconscious. 

Not once since have I had a dwarf live up to this legendary wrestler, but I have hopes.
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593shaun

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Re: Share Your Funny Stories With Me! (Help DF Talk)
« Reply #140 on: December 02, 2013, 02:18:45 pm »

I once had the weirdest experience with a bandit camp.

I was fighting off a large group of bandits, and had almost killed them all off, when the leader showed up. He appeared to be a legendary maceman, and I was pretty certain I was about to die, being surrounded by bandits with their leader charging in. As I finished off a couple more bandits, the leader reached me. He swung twice, breaking my left leg, and some ribs. After doing this, a notification popped up stating that he had died of old age. Sure enough, when I closed the message he was dead. I didn't get any credit for the kill, and I couldn't finish the quest.

Also, once I was fighting a titan--I believe it was made of some sort of stone--and it tore off my leg. In response to this, I hacked off his arms, which I believe he had four of, grabbed one, and proceeded to beat it to death with it.
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God strikes earth with flood, and Urist McNoah sails off in an ark.
What a tiny roc. I guess I could call it a pebbl.

chaosgear

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Re: Share Your Funny Stories With Me! (Help DF Talk)
« Reply #141 on: December 02, 2013, 03:19:01 pm »

Sorry if I'm digging this up, but I figured I had a great story to add.
Impossible. The thread is stickied. Rather than dying and getting buried, this thread is hung by a noose above town square for all to see until someone comes by to poke it with a stick.
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MDFification

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Re: Share Your Funny Stories With Me! (Help DF Talk)
« Reply #142 on: December 02, 2013, 06:57:20 pm »

This was back in the beginning of Necrochambers, our succession fort (which we pass on along every time someone dies horrifically).

I was under attack by the undead. Many of the undead. Our count and the military had sallied forth to kill them some goblins, slaughtered their way through a siege, then realized that a necromancer was hiding somewhere nearby. As I had a lot of war dogs trained, this was a very bad thing.
So my military had become undead. The goblin that had been besieging us became undead. The Ettin who had wandered into the siege and was promptly beaten to death by goblins became undead. Basically, I wish that my fort hadn't been surrounded by body parts and corpses when the necromancers showed up.

So I decide to turtle and wait out the undead siege until a caravan or ambushers show up and take care of it for me. But then I got a migrant wave. And in that migrant wave was a lone stonecrafter and legendary marksdwarf named Urist Headshoots the Sing of Hell. This guy was hardcore; he had 12 kills including 7 goblins and 2 giant scorpions by the time he showed up.
So Headshoots Van Hellsing over here just kills a good 26 undead before running out of bolts. He calmly strides across the now-zombie free plain towards the fort.

While watching this, I hadn't been paying attention to my stocks, and my fort starved/tantrumed to death.
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Humdilla

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Re: Share Your Funny Stories With Me! (Help DF Talk)
« Reply #143 on: December 04, 2013, 03:15:05 pm »

The curious incident of the demon in the wartime

Hah! Nice title!
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robertmanbob

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Re: Share Your Funny Stories With Me! (Help DF Talk)
« Reply #144 on: December 24, 2013, 12:30:07 am »

This literally just happened to me:

THE TUNDRA TITAN SHINEBO HAS COME! A GIGANTIC THREE-EYED STEGOSAURID!IT HAS A BROAD SHELL AND IT EMANATES A Aura of giving and kindness! ITS DARK JAGGED SCALES ARE RIGID AND OVERLAPPING.

Some kind of evil twisted santa! Ill update this when the fight ends.

Update: After brutally murdering my boar, my two legendary macemen ran up and SLAUGHTERED the titan... Santa is really weak. He lost to a military commander holding 2 babies.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2013, 12:35:55 am by robertmanbob »
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Th4DwArfY1

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Re: Share Your Funny Stories With Me! (Help DF Talk)
« Reply #145 on: December 25, 2013, 01:17:16 pm »

This literally just happened to me:

THE TUNDRA TITAN SHINEBO HAS COME! A GIGANTIC THREE-EYED STEGOSAURID!IT HAS A BROAD SHELL AND IT EMANATES A Aura of giving and kindness! ITS DARK JAGGED SCALES ARE RIGID AND OVERLAPPING.

Some kind of evil twisted santa! Ill update this when the fight ends.

Update: After brutally murdering my boar, my two legendary macemen ran up and SLAUGHTERED the titan... Santa is really weak. He lost to a military commander holding 2 babies.

So in your fort a legendary fighter used her babies as dual-wield maces and used them to slaughter Santa Claus? I salute you, sir. I salute you.

In one of my forts, a dwarf, perfectly sane, went up to his own squad of ten, then slaughtered them. He then killed all the military, whilst ecstatic. He then proceeded to kill all of the fort apart from a few-maybe ten. He was eventually killed by a Titan, but by then the tantrum spiral was unstoppable. At the end, only one was left. The mayor, one of the original seven. He was near misery-and therefore death-from the miasma, but then the migrants arrived! Never have I been happier to see their grimy faces. So, with the newly made haulers clearing the fort of corpses, the mayor got better. Fort recovering, but a close shave. And I still don't know why that one dwarf decided, rather calmly and coldly, to kill everything.
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Elephant Parade

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Re: Share Your Funny Stories With Me! (Help DF Talk)
« Reply #146 on: December 31, 2013, 12:04:27 am »

Posting to watch.
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Urist Mc Dwarf

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Re: Share Your Funny Stories With Me! (Help DF Talk)
« Reply #147 on: December 31, 2013, 10:03:11 am »

This literally just happened to me:

THE TUNDRA TITAN SHINEBO HAS COME! A GIGANTIC THREE-EYED STEGOSAURID!IT HAS A BROAD SHELL AND IT EMANATES A Aura of giving and kindness! ITS DARK JAGGED SCALES ARE RIGID AND OVERLAPPING.

Some kind of evil twisted santa! Ill update this when the fight ends.

Update: After brutally murdering my boar, my two legendary macemen ran up and SLAUGHTERED the titan... Santa is really weak. He lost to a military commander holding 2 babies.

So in your fort a legendary fighter used her babies as dual-wield maces and used them to slaughter Santa Claus? I salute you, sir. I salute you.

In one of my forts, a dwarf, perfectly sane, went up to his own squad of ten, then slaughtered them. He then killed all the military, whilst ecstatic. He then proceeded to kill all of the fort apart from a few-maybe ten. He was eventually killed by a Titan, but by then the tantrum spiral was unstoppable. At the end, only one was left. The mayor, one of the original seven. He was near misery-and therefore death-from the miasma, but then the migrants arrived! Never have I been happier to see their grimy faces. So, with the newly made haulers clearing the fort of corpses, the mayor got better. Fort recovering, but a close shave. And I still don't know why that one dwarf decided, rather calmly and coldly, to kill everything.
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Th4DwArfY1

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Re: Share Your Funny Stories With Me! (Help DF Talk)
« Reply #148 on: December 31, 2013, 03:08:16 pm »

None. I don't understand it. Weird.
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forfor

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Re: Share Your Funny Stories With Me! (Help DF Talk)
« Reply #149 on: January 20, 2014, 12:30:20 pm »

I was hunting a vampire, and located him in a building with a few generic villagers. I was all geared up for a many round combat. After calling him out, first turn of combat, the generic farmer next to him punched him in the head "the vampire is surprised by the ferocity of his attack." He broke his head, and bruised his brain, killing him. Bam. In the very first turn of combat the mighty vampire who had killed over 1000 people had been felled in a single round of combat by a punch from a lowly farmer.
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