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Author Topic: Einsteinian Roulette (Original Thread: Rules, Armory, Misson archive 1-11)  (Read 3802466 times)

piecewise

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Einsteinian Roulette
What the Heck is this?
In short:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In long:
Hello, and welcome to the Hazardous Materials Requisition Corps.

Please stop screaming.

I'm sure you all have your reasons for being here. A lot of you probably angered your local Magister. That was a bad idea. Some of you probably committed crimes against the state. Also a bad idea. Some of you might have even joined voluntarily. You poor, deluded bastards. Well, my name is Steve and I'm a computer. They made me out of whats left of the brains of the unit before you. There wasn't much.

Here's the deal. The HMR Corps has one mission: to gather research materials for the Magisters to aid in whatever xeno-war we're dealing with now-a-days. What that means to you is being sent to every godforsaken .3 degrees above absolute zero planetoid, irradiated hellhole and unimaginably warped sector of space-time in the pursuit of some more then likely meaningless alien can opener. And all you have to do is do that 10 times and you're free and clear, full pardon and carte blanche to do as you please. And thats the rub my newly made and no doubt transitory friends, there are only 2 ways out of the HMR Corps: you complete 10 missions or you die. There is no honorable discharge, if there's enough of you to scrape up and dump in something mechanical, we'll keep putting you out there. You complete 10 missions or you die. Any questions? No? Good.

You may start screaming now.

Rules:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Character sheet
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Stats
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Skills
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Professions:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: September 23, 2014, 10:24:10 am by piecewise »
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piecewise

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Preparing for take off (players needed)
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2012, 08:21:59 pm »

Armory
(Note: All weapons come with 1 magazine/battery of ammunition. Extra ammunition is available for a price New items may become available in the future.Prices subject to change. Satisfaction and survival are not guaranteed. You may buy things for others but may not pool your tokens.)

Conventional
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Unconventional
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Exotic weapons
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Auxiliary systems:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Medical Tech:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Misc
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

WIKI
http://einsteinianroulette.wikia.com/wiki/Einsteinian_Roulette_Wiki



Wall of Remembrance

Adrian: Had his head crushed in by a giant 4 armed synth-flesh berserker that was possessed by an extremely religious amalgamation of several dozen human brains.

Nick (Nekarios): Atomized in a miniature star that he accidentally created whist standing on the vertical surface of a Hydroelectric dam on China-9.

Nik: Skull cracked open after being thrown several hundred feet by the explosion of Nick's Miniature star.

Neil: Crushed beneath the ruins of an office building before being swept down stream and having his remains made into children's toys

Thrak: Died in a duel between himself and Lukas.

Charro Got run over by an enormous Centipede like creature. Twice.

Mason Machine gunned by by Travis's Gunnerbot after attempting to assassinate Travis.

Floki:  Head smashed when Cog, the mutant human spaceship, tombstone piledrived him from 5 feet in the air during a fight over the tv remote.

Travis: Completely atomized by Jim using a Microwave Amp.

Leon: Played with magic one time too many.

Cog Vaporized by an alien artifact.

Dorf Medical malpractice.

Michael Alexander Skewered by metal lances during the liberation of Hephaestus.

Grate Crushed to death during the liberation of Hephaestus.

Felix Reduced to paste during the Gauss shell assisted trip to an enemy warship during the Defense of Hephaestus.

May Died with warship Gamma During the Defense of Hephaestus.

Jhoseph Died with warship Gamma During the Defense of Hephaestus.

Magilla Tried to fist fight STAN-9 from outer space and got kicked to death and then exploded.

Stacy Got his Brain Absorbed by Xan and morphed into a insane, nascent godling that tried to destroy the planet. Killed by Denzel and an orbital bombardment.

Denzel Overloaded his amp and used his last moments of conciousness as a human inferno to battle and restrain STAN long enough for a orbital bombardment to kill them both.

Cecil Punched the host of an alien fire elemental to death and then got taken over by said fire elemental. Was promptly bludgeoned with a wad of rope and then sliced into pieces with a laser fired by...

Dern Sliced up Cecil and became the new host to the Eater of Cold.

Sambo Killed Dern and became the new host to the Eater of Cold.

Ciel Vaporized by a high level space magic overshoot during the Flamboyant Spark event. 

Michael Bayson Headshot by shrapnel from a pipebomb mishap during mission 16's getaway.

Jim Died under mysterious circumstances during the first diplo mission.

Irling Ragnar Jr - Sliced in half by a Spikehead Haebi soldier.

Johnothen Bright - Decapitated by ninja starfish, head absorbed by Haebi groundflesh.

Yaroslav Vetrov - Stabbed right through the braincase by a Giant Worm claw.

Zoltan Solberg - Shoved his own broken arm bone through his good eye and into his brain.

« Last Edit: June 16, 2015, 11:30:51 am by piecewise »
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Caellath

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Preparing for take off (players needed)
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2012, 08:29:54 pm »

Reserving, sheet coming.
Spoiler: Sheet (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: April 01, 2012, 09:42:54 pm by Caellath »
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"Hey steve." You speak into the air.
>Yes?
"Could you guys also make a hamburger out of this arm when they cut it off? I wanted to eat it just for the sake of tasting it."
>That is horrible and disgusting. It will no doubt set you apart and create fear in your team mates. So of course.

Scelly9

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Preparing for take off (players needed)
« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2012, 08:30:46 pm »

Spoiler: Ivan Yankovichy (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: April 01, 2012, 09:00:30 pm by Scelly9 »
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You taste the jug! It is ceramic.
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IronyOwl

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Preparing for take off (players needed)
« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2012, 08:46:44 pm »

Looks hilarious.


Spoiler: Character (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: April 01, 2012, 08:54:13 pm by IronyOwl »
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Tiruin

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Preparing for take off (players needed)
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2012, 09:06:22 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
For Science.
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SeriousConcentrate

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Preparing for take off (players needed)
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2012, 09:14:16 pm »

Reserve!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: April 01, 2012, 09:24:48 pm by SeriousConcentrate »
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SerCon Shorts: This Is How You Do It - Twenty-three one minute or less videos of random stupidity in AC:U, Bloodborne, DS2:SotFS, Salt & Sanctuary, and The Witcher 3.

Caellath

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Preparing for take off (players needed)
« Reply #7 on: April 01, 2012, 09:17:28 pm »

Is it just me or do some players here believe the "people who know first-aid die first" line of thinking?
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"Hey steve." You speak into the air.
>Yes?
"Could you guys also make a hamburger out of this arm when they cut it off? I wanted to eat it just for the sake of tasting it."
>That is horrible and disgusting. It will no doubt set you apart and create fear in your team mates. So of course.

Tiruin

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Preparing for take off (players needed)
« Reply #8 on: April 01, 2012, 09:24:33 pm »

Is it just me or do some players here believe the "people who know first-aid die first" line of thinking?

I'll shift to a Medic then.
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Caellath

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Preparing for take off (players needed)
« Reply #9 on: April 01, 2012, 09:29:09 pm »

No need, I just think we'll all end in pieces. Which means it'll be hilarious anyway.
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"Hey steve." You speak into the air.
>Yes?
"Could you guys also make a hamburger out of this arm when they cut it off? I wanted to eat it just for the sake of tasting it."
>That is horrible and disgusting. It will no doubt set you apart and create fear in your team mates. So of course.

IronyOwl

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Preparing for take off (players needed)
« Reply #10 on: April 01, 2012, 09:29:54 pm »

I haven't noticed any overwhelming avoidance of the medic skill. It doesn't appear to be especially popular, but it doesn't seem like anyone's avoiding it like the plague.
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

TCM

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Preparing for take off (players needed)
« Reply #11 on: April 01, 2012, 09:30:58 pm »

Reserve me, pwease.
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Because trying to stuff Fate/Whatever's engrish and the title of a 17th century book on statecraft into Pokemon syntax tends to make the content incomprehensible.

SeriousConcentrate

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Preparing for take off (players needed)
« Reply #12 on: April 01, 2012, 09:31:27 pm »

That's what I was thinking. Irony already has it covered so I didn't think I needed it. ^^^;
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SerCon Shorts: This Is How You Do It - Twenty-three one minute or less videos of random stupidity in AC:U, Bloodborne, DS2:SotFS, Salt & Sanctuary, and The Witcher 3.

Caellath

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Preparing for take off (players needed)
« Reply #13 on: April 01, 2012, 09:32:58 pm »

That's what I was thinking. Irony already has it covered so I didn't think I needed it. ^^^;
Wow, that deserves a facepalm, I totally missed Irony's obviously medic-oriented character. Owowowowow.
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"Hey steve." You speak into the air.
>Yes?
"Could you guys also make a hamburger out of this arm when they cut it off? I wanted to eat it just for the sake of tasting it."
>That is horrible and disgusting. It will no doubt set you apart and create fear in your team mates. So of course.

SeriousConcentrate

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Re: Einsteinian Roulette: Preparing for take off (players needed)
« Reply #14 on: April 01, 2012, 09:35:47 pm »

No worries. ^^^ I know Irony well enough to know that if there was a medic class he was already on it. :3
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SerCon Shorts: This Is How You Do It - Twenty-three one minute or less videos of random stupidity in AC:U, Bloodborne, DS2:SotFS, Salt & Sanctuary, and The Witcher 3.
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