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Author Topic: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want  (Read 17908 times)

Tsuchigumo550

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #45 on: April 12, 2012, 04:06:23 pm »

The glass terrarium is forever lost now, sadly, as "Project Distopian" has failed miserably. Those that didn't die luring the vicious and deadly beasts to the cage traps tantrum spiraled, leaving me with filled kid cages and no way to release my supersoldiers-in-training. The dogs will eventually rabidly kill them or it will stay like this forever. I'm thinking of adventuring it to see what happens. The glass case would make an interesting sell.
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There are words that make the booze plant possible. Just not those words.
Alright you two. Attempt to murder each other. Last one standing gets to participate in the next test.
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Maxmurder

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #46 on: April 12, 2012, 06:12:14 pm »

My bowyer got a mood and claimed a bowyers shop. "Oh YAY!" i thought "artifact crossbow will make my star Marksdwarf nigh unstoppable!"...sometime later i get the message "Urist McBowyer has created "Derpimuseless a wooden blowgun."

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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The Sponge has become enraged!
Without a nervous system...
The only thing they can feel...
IS ANGER.

Jacob/Lee

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #47 on: April 12, 2012, 06:20:14 pm »

They said I could become anything...


So I became a chair.
I'm going to sig this, if you don't mind.

Naryar

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #48 on: April 13, 2012, 03:24:58 am »

Why is OP complaining about a legendary glassmaker is beyond me.

xdarkcodex

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #49 on: April 13, 2012, 03:29:17 am »

Why is OP complaining about a legendary glassmaker is beyond me.
I personally don't bother making anything from glass at all.
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Alidus

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #50 on: April 13, 2012, 06:58:32 am »

Coffins. I consider it to be an ill omen when somebody goes into a mood and a coffin comes out of it.

Last time somebody did that, a surface dwelling forgotten beast (I guess these are called Titans) came and killed exactly one of my best military dwarves in a very horrible fashion. The beast practically ripped my poor dwarf in half. I buried what was left of her in that artifact coffin to ward off further omens - it didn't work though because a siege came right after.
« Last Edit: April 13, 2012, 07:00:27 am by Alidus »
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RedKing

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #51 on: April 13, 2012, 08:06:29 am »

I also got a fell mood where the dwarf took my legendary weapon/armorsmith and butchered him and turned him into a chair.

I don't know why, but I can't stop giggling at this.

If only DF had artifact powers coded in, you could at least hope that maybe it's a Throne of Smithing, where someone who sits in gets a temporary boost to their smithing skill or something....
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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #52 on: April 13, 2012, 08:52:12 am »

I also got a fell mood where the dwarf took my legendary weapon/armorsmith and butchered him and turned him into a chair.
Cue unpleasant flashback from The Use of Weapons.
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Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

CandyTophat

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #53 on: April 13, 2012, 09:21:22 am »

Not my artifact, but while searching through legends mode i found a book some necromancerdwarf wrote.
the book was 213 pages long, bound in giant weasel bone, called the sun sets on the dwarf and was centered on the autor.
who would write 213 pages about yourself and how awesome you are or something?
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Dwarf fortress ethics.
Of course there's an ethical way to train doctors! Toss children off short cliffs. Since they're not useful adults, injuring them isn't a waste of valuable labor, and since they're not nobles, it's ethical to use short cliffs instead of tall ones!

Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #54 on: April 13, 2012, 09:37:11 am »

one of those minimum value mugs or something
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chewie

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #55 on: April 13, 2012, 12:48:21 pm »

everything made by a woodcrafter. Except maybe valuable furniture to boost room value.
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Garath

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #56 on: April 13, 2012, 04:20:59 pm »

all my miner/mason moods turn up mostly coffins and coffers. There is a message there
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Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
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And then everyone melted.

JimDale

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #57 on: April 13, 2012, 05:13:07 pm »

I've gotten socks at least twice.
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newbonomicon

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #58 on: April 15, 2012, 11:26:13 am »

My first artifact in my newest fortress was a chestnut barrel decorated with chestnut. Just to drive home the point, it was named "Spurnmetals the Pure Mines". What do you think you are, an elf?!
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Alidus

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #59 on: April 21, 2012, 09:57:48 am »

Id Dogikmörul, Recruit has created Dezremlegon, a hematite mechanisms!

Dezremlegon, "Slowwanders", a hematite mechanisms
This is a hematite mechanisms. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with oval hematite cabochons.

... at least now I have a Legendary mechanic.
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