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Author Topic: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want  (Read 20007 times)

JimDale

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #60 on: April 21, 2012, 10:14:18 am »

I just got an olivine mug menacing with spikes of olivine and decorated with bands of olivine.
And a wolf bone ring engraved with a picture of itself. Interestingly enough, the name is "Vermillion Knight."
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Deon

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #61 on: April 23, 2012, 05:48:37 am »

Any artifacts are good as long as you have a display case modded in. It means you can make any room into a great room.
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Edmus

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #62 on: April 23, 2012, 06:14:27 am »

The captain of the guards son gets moody, he is in the dining rooms at the time. Oh great, I think to myself, what is the bet he grabs a craftdwarf workshop. nope, he starts scampering down toward the centre of the earth, toward the magma forges. I get excited and check his preferences, he likes spears and addy. I nearly started dancing, that was until he took one of the extraction workshops at the centre of the earth and makes a god metal earring or some other worthless piece of crap not only that but because he was so far from the stockpiles it took him half a year to finish the junk.
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Caldfir

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #63 on: April 23, 2012, 10:14:05 am »

I guess artifacts would be less exciting if they weren't a gamble though.  You have a chance at a platinum statue encrusted in diamonds, or a larch mug decorated with giant rat bone.  I have yet to get a fell or macabre mood in any of my forts.  I'm thinking of embarking as goblins and intentionally trying to make them all miserable all the time to see what they come up with. 

I've had many useless artifacts in my time.  The most disappointing are always things that have exactly no use in the game whatsoever.  Wooden puzzleboxes have caused me rage on many occasions. 

I think likely my most irritating artifact ever was a llama wool cape (menacing with llama wool spikes), though since dwarves actually wear stuff now, I suppose if I got it today it would be welcomed. 
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Flattermann

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #64 on: April 23, 2012, 11:00:59 am »

Id Dogikmörul, Recruit has created Dezremlegon, a hematite mechanisms!

Dezremlegon, "Slowwanders", a hematite mechanisms
This is a hematite mechanisms. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with oval hematite cabochons.

... at least now I have a Legendary mechanic.

Build a weapon trap with it in you kings rooms extra point if you use artefact weapons. Should make that sucker quit happy :)
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Mr S

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #65 on: April 23, 2012, 11:06:01 am »

Just today, a Stonecrafter claims a Craftsdwarf's workshop.  Artifact statue?  Legendary nest box?  Highly decorated stone jar?  No, no and no.

A siltstone toy boat, menacing with spikes of siltstone and encircled with bands of iron.

BABY WANTS A FANCY TOY BOAT!! BUILD BABY A FANCY TOY BOAT!!!

Meh...
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MrButtchicker

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #66 on: April 23, 2012, 10:36:18 pm »

Urist Kivishidek  creates Kyklos Loorsta, a wooden training axe!

Description:
It is made of oak. All crafstdwarfship is of the finest quality. 1200 dwarfbucks

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orius

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #67 on: April 25, 2012, 02:43:14 am »

My current fort has 9 artifacts.  Five of them are shit:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

At least nothing valuable was wasted.  Whenever dorfs grab stuff for a mood, I inspect the workshop once they start working and forbid anything I don't want wasted.  That last one on the list, I believe the dorf grabbed some GCS silk to throw on it.  It got vetoed.  A tenth artifact never even got completed, as some dorf took over a jeweler's shop.  Since I don't want perfect gems clogging up my fort, everything was forbidden.  The ensuing suicide of the dorf was not too small a price to pay.

There are three mildly useful pieces of furniture that serve a useful purpose in jacking up the value of the baron's personal chambers.  There's also a robe that will get assigned to my best marksdwarf.

Unfortunately, no weapons yet.
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Kumquat

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #68 on: April 25, 2012, 03:13:39 pm »

I got in an older fort something that even knows its own uselessness:

Enamungèg, "The Pure Failure", a mica harp

Encircled with bands of round mica cabochons, gold and mango wood, adorned with hanging rings of mica and menaces with spikes of giant mongoose leather.
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orius

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Re: Artifacts You Really Don't Even Want
« Reply #69 on: April 27, 2012, 02:06:14 am »

That's when you know the dorfs are aware of the player and take the time to tell him, "Fuck you!"
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Quote from: ThatAussieGuy
That is an insane and dangerous plan.  I approve wholeheartedly. 


Fortressdeath
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