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[CountAlex]

She is Atacsana!

Yes, from now on we`ll write her name correct.

Yup, using this now. Another entry!
If you can do better with the song translation - please give it a shot!
_____________________
let's also drink with contempt and hatred for the King and the Queen
Keep getting drunk / everyone loves elves for their musical ability, so it's time to sing something emotional.
Be suspicious about the goblin. He clearly gets us drunk / YOU MEN ARE ALL THE SAME! YOU ALL NEED ONLY ONE THING!



You slowly raised the keg to your lips with contempt and hatred in your eyes. Atacsana noticed your mood and called out to the goblin:
- Hey, what a fool are you? What fucking king and queen? You crazy? She just got divorced from Likot, and you decided to drink for him? We won't drink to this asshole! right, Ivety?
The goblin widened his eyes and poured back the wine from his mouth.
- It's okay,-  you reassured.
- No! Not okay. We've all suffered from those two. He brought you to a divorce. Ostox has become practically a servant for them, and they do not even think of paying.
- That's right, - the goblin chimed in.
- And I was thrown into the arena. Forced to fight for my life! Not to mention my hair... I had similarly luxurious hair. - She reached out and stroked your strands.
It was weird. And very assertive.
- And this bitch, Kisat, shaved me bald, - finished the girl and drank wine generously.
There was a feeling that they wanted to use you as a kind of a judge. You've already heard the story of Ostox, and now Atacsana has begun to dump her version of events. Were these two acting out a performance for you?
- Why did she...?
- Well, there was serious misunderstanding. One of my guys jokingly threatened her with a knife, and she threw a tantrum and ordered Likot to kill everyone. Do you know that your ex-hubby is a werewolf?
You frowned:
- Uh... yes, I know.
- What? - the girl was stunned, - And you still married him?!
- I... I was in love. He's crazy, yes. But there is a spark in him. He saved me from goblin captivity.
Ostox raised his hands.
- Hey, I have nothing to do with it.
- Oh, come on! - You burned the goblin with a glance, - You keep us drinking. All of you men are the same! You all need only one thing!
- Booze? - he was confused, - Money? Wait, wait... sausages?
Atacsana rolled her eyes and turned to you.
- You can relax about that. During a month long travel he never bothered me.
The goblin beamed:
- Ahh, so that's what you talking about? What can I say - not my cup of beer. I love everything beautiful. I heard that the elves sing heart-wrenchingly. Perhaps the hostess will let us hear her wonderful singing?
- Ah, to hell with you, - You sucked on the keg and gulped half of it at once, - Let's shake this party for real! I have the right to have this! I'm a freshly divorced after all.
From under the bed, you took out the very Spoonuitar you rattled on back in the fishing village.
- Set the rhythm, - you nodded to Ostox, - Improvisation!
He began to stomp his boot and you sang:

Golden goblet, golden chains
Now poor Likot got no wife
And with our undead Queen
We'll live same stupid life.

We will drink and we will sing
Hey green swan, where's my wine
Atacsana, little dear
Put all pillows in the line.

- What?! - the girl was taken aback.
- Well, none of us will go anywhere else today. Are you going to sleep on the floor?
Sheelo thought and also began drnking her wine.

[request where and how they will wake up in the morning]

[CaptainLambcake]

the story of likot the soap eater lives on

[CountAlex]

the story of likot the soap eater lives on

Hell yeah! One more issue for you folks.
_____________________



You woke up SUDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Not immediately realizing what was happening, you screamed heart-rendingly for several seconds. There were tops of trees below, but you were not falling, simply hanging on a rope. For some reason, you were wearing Ostox's clothes.
- AAA! - there were voices from above.
You struggled and looked up. The goblin in the towel and the Ataksana in your dress were also dangling from the branches.
- I'm flying! - the girl rejoiced, and the goblin also screamed in horror.
- What the fuck? - you shouted to them.
- I won! - Atacsana replied, - I climbed the highest! And you suck, nya-nya-nya!
- Did we... compete in tree climbing?
- Well, yes, don't you remember? You suggested it yourself. Ostox came up with safety ropes. And I came up with the idea of dressing up in someone else's clothes to equalize the chances.
You contemplated that for a bit:
- All these ideas are shit... well, except for safety ropes... why did we even get into this?
- Hey, take it easy, princess, - the goblin came to his senses, - It is not fitting you to scold.
- Sorry, my head is splitting.
- So you need some hair from that dod.
You examined yourself and the treetops:
- Yea? How?

[CountAlex]

We leave our heroes hanging and move to Akrulaban, where in the empty royal chambers Sinsot Fernokzam is trying to open a locked stone chest. It's been a while since Sinsot used his old criminal skills, but this was a special occasion. One woman arrived to the fortress... came to study. A human lady of the very special kind, there was something elusive about her. The dwarf was captivated by her coldness and detachment. But she was not a vampire, Sinsot checked that out. Adamel drank and ate with everyone in the tavern, slept regularly and simply was breathing. Akrulaban's library has accumulated several bookcases lately, but there were terrible amounts of dust there, which made the scholar cough at times. This person sunk so deeply into the manager's soul that he wanted to present her with something royally luxurious, in order to somehow break dead cold ice after a formal acquaintance at the table and exchange of a few phrases about the verses recited by a bard.
Likot must clearly have all sorts of expensive trinkets hidden in his chest. But all attempts to open the lock have so far been unsuccessful. What to do?
Then Sinsot was overwhelmed by a wave of familiar sensations again - a feeling that had possessed him for a short time, but he remembered it. Voices whispered insistently in his head.

[Bomthar]

Suggestion: Get a mechanism of some sorts to open the chest for us

[CaptainLambcake]

likot lives on

[coop]

>Bomthar
>a dwarf, a goblin, and an elf walk into a bar...

Nice joke, Boss )

>Suggestion:
>It`s a "Request". Say it right. And say it more concretic. Did I said it right?

[Bomthar]

>Bomthar
>a dwarf, a goblin, and an elf walk into a bar...

Nice joke, Boss )

>Suggestion:
>It`s a "Request". Say it right. And say it more concretic. Did I said it right?

Gotcha, chief.

Request: Use a metal enormous cockscrew weapon trap to open the chest.

[CountAlex]

You came up with a great idea - to cut off part of the lid so that it can be disguised as a decorative ornament. A set of a few tools was with you, so you immediately got down to work. The two diagonal cuts turned out to be neat, you carefully removed part of the lid and looked inside.
Suddenly the head of a goose stuck out of the recess:
- Quack.
DAMN! It was The Goose - the Champion of the fortress! How long has it been sitting here? It will now tell the King that you opened his chest!
Before you came to your senses, the goose jumped out of the hole and, slapping its paws on the floor, briskly ran out the door. At the bottom of the chest there was still plenty of grains, and one of the corners was generously covered with goose droppings. There was nothing of value inside.

[CountAlex]

Whatcha waiting for? Chase it!
Double chase it!
Triple chase it!



You scrambled after the goose, but it was agile and quick, wagging along the corridors. Praise to Armok, nobody witnessed this chase. Sliding into on of the turns, goose managed to throw off its Champion medallion. You ran in after a few seconds and, turning around the corner, found a bird pen full of geese. But which of them was the one?

[CountAlex]

Piss on the medallion in front of the geese provocatively.
Look closely at the geese. The one who reacts differently is our goose.



You have decided to track down the goose with the medallion. Without taking your eyes off the paddock, you returned for the little thing and defiantly stepped on the piece of metal and rubbed it on the floor. None of the geese reacted.
Well, it was time to act tougher. Approaching the herd, you lowered your pants, pulled out a hose and threatened to publicly piss on the Badge of Honor.
- Heya, whatcha doing? - came voice from behind.
You carefully turned around and saw Tok Buketotil. After that story with the goblins, this dickhead now walks like a prince around the fortress. Chest forward, chin up. Fucking wall scratcher.

[CountAlex]

Еell Tok the truth about the goose and the medallion. At the same time lie that the enemies put the champion of the fortress in the chest, and we bravely rescued him.
I Dwarf you telling the whole truth.
Just ask the question who put the goose in the chest. And where is this fucking goose now.
Tok is cool dwarf, you can tell him the truth. Let him help (hold the hose) to look for the goose.
Offer Tok to join our piss contest.
Tell Tohku about the escaped goose, don't tell / twist the part regarding the opening of the chest
Let's say that we heard a knock from the inside, say someone was trying to break out, so we had to free the beast.



- Oh, - you said, hiding the wiener, - Here is the deal. I've come into Likot's office... to check the mandates, I've heard a noise - knocking from the chest and pitiful howls. Couldn't get it open, so I decided to make a saw cut. And there was the goose sitting inside. Looks like Likot arranged a feeder for him inside, and the goose climbed in and pushed the lid locked by accident. So it locked himself inside, the poor fellow.
Tok looked at the herd:
- And what about these?
- Eh, it escaped, feathered bugger. It dropped the medallion on the way. And I decided to lure goose with it. It's the Royal Goose, after all. Can you help me catch it?
- Hmm... okay. What's the plan? - Tok pointed to the medallion.
You've pretended to hesitate:
- Well, goose doesn't react to it in any way. I thought to somehow stimulate and... decided to well... you know... eh... to piss on an object that's important to it.
And Buketotil burst into a loud laughter and dropped his pipe. You were a little surprised, expecting condemnation from Likot's henchman.
- Okay, I'm in, - the engraver resolutely pulled down his pants.
Crossing two streams, you've begun to desecrate the Champion's Mark. As planned, one of the geese roared and flapped its wings. But then the whole herd picked up its mood, everyone began to cackle hysterically and run around like crazy. In this turmoil and flurry of feathers, every single geese left the corral and scattered in all directions throughout the fortress.
As soon as everything calmed down, you and Buketotil were left standing over a pissed medallion with your dongs out.

[CountAlex]

Let's grab the first goose we come across and put a pissed medallion on it
We need to catch any goose
Ket's go to that room with golden tables. If there is no goose in the hall, we hand over the medallion to the owner of the hall for safekeeping.
I put this case to a drawe and gift some poetry to a human female



Looking around, you both pulled on your pants.
- Damn, - you sighed with annoyance, - And what to do now?
- I propose to delegate this task to someone else, - Tok suddenly threw in a good thought, - So let's go.
Together you moved to the hall, where one of the geese rushed. There, at the table, Gratin Lamugat was drinking beer. Buketotil went straight to him:
- Eh, youngster!
The tailor choked on his beer.
- Ooh! The Champion of the fortress himself! Renowned engraver, protector of Akrulaban! What winds brought such a dwarf? Maybe thirst for a beer?
- Shut the trap, - you went up to him together, - The goose ran here, did you see it?
- Well, yes.
Tok leaned against the edge of the table:
- This thing fell from it, - he rattled the medal under his nose, - This goose is the Champion actually. Be kind, brotherly, return his little thing to the muddler. Otherwise the King would be upset.
He sniffed at the medallion:
- Why won't you return it?
- We have an urgent matter, - Tok turned to you, - Am I right, dear manager? Where were we going?
You weren't great at improvisation:
- Yes, I... we... really went to a lady. Scholar Adamel. To the library.
Here Gratin perked up:
- Together? Huh? HUH? - He raised his eyebrows, - So, double tunneling? Want decided to occupy both floors, right? Some work at an accelerated pace, in a manner of speech?
- Shut up, Lamugat! - Took straightened up, - I am a married dwarf, and naster Fernoxam is actually the right hand of the King. Someday your jokes will bite you back. So, go look for a goose now!
The tailor got scared, grabbed the medal and jumped out from the table without even finishing his beer. Tok, pleased, turned to you:
- Now the authority is working for me.

[CountAlex]

Since we’re so luckily got to a tavern let's empty a mug with Tok and have a chat. Maybe he can advise on best course of actions with that scholar?
I double drinking with Tok. He, as a married man with experience, should know how to hook up a lady.
Take a small barrel of booze with you. As we go, ask Tok for advice. Also read the poems.



You have decided that there is no point in hiding the traces of breaking in. Maybe the engraver had some other good ideas? In particular, about Adamel. Sitting like a men over a mug of beer would probably be helpful.
- Um... wanna beer?
- Damn yeah! - Tok snapped his fingers, calling the innkeeper.
You sat down and soon a beer was served. You chewed on your mustache, not knowing where to start:
“You’re kind of married, right?”
- Exactly - Buketotil sipped from a mug.
- How did you... how did you do it? How did you start... to communicate with her?
- So this scholargirl of yours is not an fiction? Well, everything is simple, brother. Gotta boldly approach, take her hand, confidently say: "Mine!" and take her with you... That's all.
- And it worked? I thought to present a gift, or read poems.
The current scratched the back of his head:
- I never thought about that. But she's a scholar, she likes all sorts of words and letters. And what kind of poems?
You got shy and drained the whole mug for some courage:
- So yeah...
Oh beautiful Adamel
For you I've instantly failed
Though you've got no beard
My heart still goes alert
Your tender breasts,
Your slim figure I want...
Still not ready after this point...
No one is like you in this little fort
So between our hearts let's build a rapport
Tok sipped his beer thoughtfully:
- About the beard you expressed feelings powerfully, - he sat still and spelled out, - "I really want to spin our romance." Or "They beckon me, and there is a pickaxe in my pants." Okay, I don’t get into your work. But in general, a sincere expression of feelings is something that women seem to like, right? Worth trying.
You drank too:
- And a gift? You gotta present something tangible.
Buketotil narrowed his eyes:
- First, let's see how she reacts to the poems, and then we'll think about the gift. Although...



Tok fished a ring out of his pants:
- Here. I wanted to gift this to my wife upon arrival from Arol-Iton. But the tunnel has not been dug yet, so... here, let it be useful, and then I'll order another one for myself. In the end, I am friend of the manager, right?

[CountAlex]

Sorry, guys, was kinda busy, At least you get two new posts for one!
_____________________

Fit the ring on the dick
Put the ring on our mighty dwarven kingpin, first read the poems, and then gift the present.
I request to check if the ring would fit



Deciding not to beat around the bush anymore, you headed to the library, where the lady of the heart was supposed to be found. Already on the way to the designated room, you heard a familiar cough - this hot dusty air with a wheeze was leaving from the sweet lips of Adamel.
You stopped at the entrance.
- Ready? - Buketotil slapped on the shoulder.
You nodded and went inside. As soon as the door closed, you pulled down your pants and with difficulty shoved your soft, pliable masculine part into the hole of the ring.
Show time. Having adjusted your clothes, you passed between the shelves and finally came out in a row where the scholar was peaking through a thick tome. You coughed to get attention.
- Oh... beau... - you swallowed, - ...tiful Adamel,
I just...  saw you, and... well, and... was stunned right there!
And although you have no beard,
I... your lean breasts aaaand... you gentle emm ... nerd
They really attract me right now!
There's nobody in the fortress like you... there's no,
Give me more soon ... - you swallowed again, wiped the sweat from your forehead and cleared your throat, - There!
You resolutely threw your pants to the floor, spread your arms to the sides and closed your eyes.

There was a ringing silence for ten long seconds, then a sigh was heard:
- Well, the rhyme is clearly lame. Not to mention the rhytm. I would advise you to express your thoughts in prose and preferably on the paper.
She closed the book and slipped it into place, between the other two. From the sound of her voice, your male core swelled, and the ring on it turned out to be, let's just say, completely superfluous. You started to experience severe pain.
- As for your proposal, - Adamel continued, - I think it's absolutely...
Then the ring broke from your flesh, and like a bolt from a crossbow, shot at the scholar. You opened your eyes in horror and saw how the jewel flew right into the open mouth of the speaker.
- Ghhhk! - she choked and instinctively swallowed the "bait".
You looked at each other with bulging eyes.

We make an approach from behind and use the Heimlich's maneuver. Don’t put pants back on, we are in a hurry to save live.
I double Heimlich's maneuver, regardless of whether she swallowed the ring or it got stuck.
And then make a suplex



Fearing for the life of your beloved, you hastened to help her. Running behind her back, you measured her tall figure. You had to jump to grab her belly!
Adamel fell back under your weight, and you overdid it with a pull on yourself - as a result, the woman spun very spectacularly in the air and hit the floor with the back of her head.
The scholar fainted.