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Poll

most common cause of losing a fortress?

wildlife
goblin abmushes, sieges etc.
human abmushes, sieges etc.
elf abmushes, sieges etc.
titans, forgotten beasts, megabeasts
demons
magma
necromancers
undead
tantrum spiral
loyalty cascade
giant mosquito invasion

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Author Topic: 400 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION  (Read 67698 times)

Melzer

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400 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« on: July 10, 2012, 04:18:34 pm »
400 things you learned the hard way. this is the dwarf fortress fortress mode edition. (sounds kinda like buttery butter)
up to 3 things per post per person.

and please try not to swear
« Last Edit: September 28, 2012, 09:29:02 am by Melzer »
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Corai

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Re: 100 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2012, 04:22:10 pm »
1. Kobolds are weak, but they still get lucky hits on your legendary soldiers.
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Firehawk45

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Re: 100 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2012, 04:25:49 pm »
2. Do not underestimate goblins led by demons.
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Eldestish

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Re: 100 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2012, 04:29:58 pm »
3. Don't use atom smashers for population control.
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flieroflight

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Re: 100 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2012, 04:31:40 pm »
4. Dont leave a  tile diagonal gap while minig out lots of lovely bauxitey goodies. 2 goblin ambushes in a militaryless for appearing inthe dining room is never fun.
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Quote from: Hanslanda on May 09, 2012, 08:53:07 pm
Bay12 doesn't have moral event horizons, it has goals.

ledgekindred

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Re: 100 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2012, 04:42:50 pm »
5. Walling off the caverns only works if you remember to close off every possible entrance.

6. Trogs are a pain in the ass and will bruise your useful dorfs to death.  If you put up cages, they will fill up your cages and then bruise your Legendary Mechanic to death when he tries to replace the cages.
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Quote from: Starhero on February 11, 2012, 10:31:23 am
I don't understand, though that is about right with anything DF related.
Quote from: Kestrel on April 23, 2011, 08:12:44 pm
I just hope he dies the same death that all dwarfs deserve: liver disease.
The legend of Reg: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=65866.0
Atir Stigildegel, Legless Hero of Diamondrelic: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=83136.0

Corai

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Re: 100 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2012, 04:44:21 pm »
Quote from: ledgekindred on July 10, 2012, 04:42:50 pm
6. Trogs are a pain in the ass and will bruise your useful dorfs to death.  If you put up cages, they will fill up your cages and then bruise your Legendary Mechanic to death when he tries to replace the cages.

7. Crundles are like trogs, but ever more irritating.
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

weenog

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Re: 100 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #7 on: July 10, 2012, 04:45:21 pm »
8. Get your coffins in before dwarves start dying.  The fetid stench of rotting BFFs does nothing to improve the morale of dwarves already prone to tantrum.
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Listen up: making a thing a ‼thing‼ doesn't make it more awesome or extreme.  It simply indicates the thing is on fire.  Get it right or look like a silly poser.

It's useful to keep a ‼torch‼ handy.

King DZA

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Re: 100 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #8 on: July 10, 2012, 04:51:27 pm »
9. Being unable to build a wall on the edge of the map does not mean enemies cannot arrive from that point.
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dbay

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Re: 100 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #9 on: July 10, 2012, 05:13:39 pm »
10. Make sure your dwarves have enough cabinets, it's the only way to get that XXCave Spider Silk SockXX out of the doorway
11. HFS can't destroy artifact floodgates, but they can dismantle them.
12. Zombie + 10 Serrated Steel Disc = 31 zombies
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Frontestro

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Re: 100 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #10 on: July 10, 2012, 05:28:57 pm »
13. "Crossbows" are the way humanoids say "Machine Gun" in DF. Goblins know this and will use them any chance they get on your melee based army.
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nopil3os

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Re: 100 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #11 on: July 10, 2012, 06:30:14 pm »
14. if you have an entrance prepared for goblins (weapon traps), zombies (atomsmashing bridges) and titans (cavein-trap) you are NOT prepared for elves because if you manage to get them to attack you, they know about your traps and attack en masse on giant flying bridge-destroying mounts.
« Last Edit: July 10, 2012, 06:59:24 pm by nopil3os »
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Quote from: Splint on June 09, 2012, 05:51:39 am
I'd be shocked if dwarves didn't eat the demons they killed. After all, if they're willing to eat a poison spewing monstrosity, why not a flying dinosaur thing that hates all life?

Zale

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Re: 100 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #12 on: July 10, 2012, 06:45:41 pm »
15. The Beer must flow.
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DrKillPatient

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Re: 100 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #13 on: July 10, 2012, 06:59:34 pm »
16. Minecart tracks' default designation "Low Traffic" does not in any way imply "No Traffic".
17. As a corollary, dwarves injured by minecarts have an interesting tendency to lose consciousness on the tracks, recursively causing others to do the same whilst recovering them. I dub this "Urist's Successive Minecart Injury Theorem".
« Last Edit: July 10, 2012, 07:04:21 pm by DrKillPatient »
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"Frankly, if you're hanging out with people who tell you to use v.begin() instead of &v[0], you need to rethink your social circle."
    Scott Meyers, Effective STL

I've written bash scripts to make using DF easier under Linux!

Triaxx2

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Re: 100 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #14 on: July 10, 2012, 07:08:16 pm »
18. Trade Liasons melt when exposed to magma.
19. All dorfs are under pressure and tend to explode. Particularly military dorfs.
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