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[Xantalos]

My boss frequently hunts down and sucks the blood of small animals, and I always wake up pale and woozy...maybe he's a vampire? - Vabok McTypeO

[doomxorz]

Urist McSmartHauler: Hmmm. maybe if i roll the barrel it's going to be done easier and faster.

Urist McJumper cancels save princess: Interrupted by homicidal barrel-thrower.

[Xantalos]

Urist McSmartHauler: Hmmm. maybe if i roll the barrel it's going to be done easier and faster.

Urist McJumper cancels save princess: Interrupted by homicidal barrel-thrower.

Bowser McGoblinsnatcher cancels kidnap princess: in another fortress.

[Monk321654]

Koopa McTurtleOx cancels have kids: No spouse.

Or the squicky alternative:

Koopa McTurtleOx cancels have kids: Mate incompatible.

[Hanslanda]

Did... Did we just have a 16 bit derail? Cuz that is fucking awesome.

[Xantalos]

Apparently. Also:

Bullety McBigassbullet cancels die because smelly Italian jumped on top of him - is bullet.

[SuicideJunkie]

Kobold Thief: I could try and run the gauntlet of that fortress entrance for that legendary steel boot, or I could grab some of the goblinite that the dwarves haven't gotten around to picking up yet.
Hmm.  I'll just grab that easy stuff to keep my family fed now, and risk my life when I'm older and more skilled.

[Hanslanda]

Urist McSoldier: I'm so tired. Must go to bed- Oh shit, siege arrived. I better report to my duty station, sleep be damned.

[WealthyRadish]

Xaxozax Zaxza, Goblin Snatcher: "You know, seeing those ambushers remain stealthed while wielding spears gave me an idea. Screw the dinky dagger, I'm bringing a crossbow!"

[Xantalos]

Urist McCook cancels make +crundle fat roast+: can't make meal out of lard.

[Gentlefish]

Urist McCook cancels make +crundle fat roast+: can't make meal out of lard.

Dirty lies. You can have plenty a meal on fats and lard.

Dwarven Water Reactor cancels work: Friction

[Xantalos]

Urist McCook cancels make +crundle fat roast+: can't make meal out of lard.

Dirty lies. You can have plenty a meal on fats and lard.

Dwarven Water Reactor cancels work: Friction

Can't make meal out of rotting fat with no heating implements. 

[Loud Whispers]

Can't make meal out of rotting fat with no heating implements. 

Did somebody say

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

MAGMA KITCHENS?!!

[Xantalos]

Migant wave: Dadada...Oooh, what's this? Legendary Cook? What's his name? ...Dorfen Ramsey.

[jesternario]

Urist McWordcollector: "Um... you want me to put this wood here on a snow covered ground? Okay, let me first check to make sure you didn't set the stockpile over a frozen lake by accident"