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Author Topic: Things that don't happen.  (Read 94262 times)

Broseph Stalin

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #330 on: October 14, 2012, 12:27:30 pm »
Urist McJailer cancels Free Vampire: Not That Stupid.
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billybobfred

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #331 on: October 14, 2012, 04:02:07 pm »
Let's just skip to the end of that one:

Urist McAnyone cancels Incredibly Stupid Task: Not that stupid
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urist mcgeorg, who lives in boatmurdered and makes over 10,000 bad decisions each day,

Eldestish

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #332 on: October 14, 2012, 05:00:21 pm »
!!Urist mclignite!! Cancels break:ON FIRE
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Slayerhero90

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #333 on: October 14, 2012, 05:27:14 pm »
Sibrek Platemorning, Novice Soaper has signed up for the military!
Sibrek Platemorning has become a Recruit!
Sibrek Platemorning, Recruit cancels train: Requesting Axe!
(5 days later)
Sibrek Platemorning, Recruit cancels wait: Making Bronze Axe!
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My tumblr.
Yeah no I don't haunt here anymore. Peace

hops

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #334 on: October 14, 2012, 10:23:42 pm »
Bax McGoblin cancel siege: Actually build fort and stop terrorizing people.
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

One True Polycule with flame99 <3

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Megaman3321

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #335 on: October 14, 2012, 10:27:53 pm »
Urist McNoble cancels Noble: Interrupted by public execution.
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Glacial on dwarves being assigned socks:
Quote
You see, here's how I think this works:
Overseer: Welcome to the military! You need to wear socks! Dorf: Oh, I should get military socks. My socks are civilian socks. Dorf discards socks Dorf: You know, I need a whole lot of gear now. I should get socks... last. Oh, but these steel boots with the white goo on them are nice!
I know you can pick up water, then throw said water, while underwater, to kill a fish -He_Silent_H

Broseph Stalin

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #336 on: October 14, 2012, 10:33:16 pm »
Ngogkok McGoblin General cancels plan nineteenth siege, has pattern recognition.
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Xantalos

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #337 on: October 15, 2012, 12:45:03 am »
Urist McMiner cancels mine adamantine: Copper can't pierce god-metal.
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

BlueMagic

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #338 on: October 15, 2012, 01:41:02 am »
Urist McBrewer: Well shit, I don't have any containers to brew stuff in and we're running out of alcohol.
Sibrek Carpenter: Not a problem. I'll just go make some barrels and tell the cook not to put stuff in them like he always does and ignore the half-empty ones.

Or

Urist McMiner: Those migrants must be miserable sleeping in the dirt. I better get to work on those new rooms right now.
Sibrek Carpenter: And I'll get to work on those beds immediately.

And

Urist McSwordsdwarf cancels attack elephant: Not experienced enough to defeat elephant.

Also

Urist McChilddwarf: Why am I wandering so far from the fortress where I could get snatched? I better head inside so mommy doesn't get scared and punch the miner and then he smashes our table like he did last time...

« Last Edit: October 15, 2012, 01:50:06 am by BlueMagic »
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Blue cancels Type Coherent Post: Crying Over Fictional Characters

billybobfred

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #339 on: October 15, 2012, 10:34:09 am »
Urist McMiner: Oh, no! A goblin! And I'm not in the military! *jams pick through goblin brain anyway*
Urist McCarpenter: Oh, no! A goblin! And I'm not in the military! *bisects goblin skull anyway*
Urist McHunter: Oh, no! A goblin! And I'm not in the military! *shoots goblin eye out anyway*

and so forth...
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urist mcgeorg, who lives in boatmurdered and makes over 10,000 bad decisions each day,

Wolock

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #340 on: October 15, 2012, 10:50:45 am »
Urist McMiner - Oh! I've found a vein of a valuable ore!
Libash McMiner - Good, let's follow it and mine it all then.

Urist McMiner - It's the third time I've found this mineral, I think I don't need to report this.

Urist McClothesmaker  - There's no more plant base cloth for the order of socks!
Libash McClothesmaker - But there's plenty of silk and wool cloths maybe we can use them?
Urist McClothesmaker - Good idea! We don't need to bother the Manager about that.
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Voyd211

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #341 on: October 15, 2012, 12:40:21 pm »
Urist McMage: Maybe I should branch out from necromancy.

Later....

Zord McColossus: I WILL DRIVE MY HAND THROUGH YOUR SOUL
Urist McMage: Dominate monster!
Zord: I WILL DO EVERYTHING YOU COMMAND
Urist: Awesome. Punch out those clowns down there.
Zord: TARGET ACQUIRED

Zord McColossus cancels kill all dwarves: Under mind control.

(I think of Bronze Colossi as humongous mecha made via magitek.)
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Apparently, I am the first person to ever say "Screw You in All Your Finery."

!!SCIENCE!! team has vapor for brains.

Broseph Stalin

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #342 on: October 15, 2012, 12:54:49 pm »
Quote from: billybobfred on October 15, 2012, 10:34:09 am
Urist McMiner: Oh, no! A goblin! And I'm not in the military! *jams pick through goblin brain anyway*
Urist McCarpenter: Oh, no! A goblin! And I'm not in the military! *bisects goblin skull anyway*
Urist McHunter: Oh, no! A goblin! And I'm not in the military! *shoots goblin eye out anyway*

and so forth...
The first two happen. If an enemy gets close enough to attack a dwarf they generally defend themselves whether their military or not and with whatever they happen to be holding. Many are the tale of legendary miners fucking up cavern creatures that get too close.
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Monk321654

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #343 on: October 15, 2012, 02:35:02 pm »
Quote from: Voyd211 on October 15, 2012, 12:40:21 pm
(I think of Bronze Colossi as humongous mecha made via magitek.)
You too?
Cool.

Anyway...

Colossus McBronze: Hmm... The dwarves are holding me out with a wall. Oh wait, it's ten feet tall, better step over it.
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Quote from: GoombaGeek on August 07, 2012, 11:46:09 pm
This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

Splint

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #344 on: October 15, 2012, 02:42:37 pm »
Quote from: Broseph Stalin on October 15, 2012, 12:54:49 pm
Quote from: billybobfred on October 15, 2012, 10:34:09 am
Urist McMiner: Oh, no! A goblin! And I'm not in the military! *jams pick through goblin brain anyway*
Urist McCarpenter: Oh, no! A goblin! And I'm not in the military! *bisects goblin skull anyway*
Urist McHunter: Oh, no! A goblin! And I'm not in the military! *shoots goblin eye out anyway*

and so forth...
The first two happen. If an enemy gets close enough to attack a dwarf they generally defend themselves whether their military or not and with whatever they happen to be holding. Many are the tale of legendary miners fucking up cavern creatures that get too close.

I wish mine did that. i had a legendary miner not even attempt to fight back. Got his brain punched in by a damn troglodyte.
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