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[CaptainArchmage]

Why do dwarf vampires slow down when they don't drink blood?

Because dwarf vampires are still alcoholics. However, a change in their metabolism means that they can only absorb alcohol directly from the blood of other dwarves. This means vampires will not suck the blood of sober dwarves, but to go sober is worse than death for a dwarf. Vampirism would be less of a problem if only dwarves knew how to perform blood transfusions and injections.

[GoombaGeek]

How do nobles know that they like adamantine or other rare metals if they've never seen them before?

Believe it or not, being a noble is a tough job. All migrant nobles, by law, must spend at least six years at Dwarven College first, reading up on every aspect of fortress management, geology, and metallurgy. But whiling away the months by reading books is really boring, so as soon as they graduate and are shipped off to some outpost in the middle of a haunted desert, they immediately want to experience everything they read about firsthand, even just to see it in real life. This tends to end with them going like "Heeey, can I have an adamantine cabinet? My textbook says that it's so light that the drawers actually slide themselves out with a single touch!" and accidentally falling into a pit filled with voracious cave crawlers, or (even worse) unsealing the HFS in their never-ending curiosity.

[GoombaGeek]

How can dwarves fish with no equipment?

Some would say that they dip their beards in the water as bait, but this is simply conjecture. It is believed by top anthropologists that dwarves simply make use of their natural tendency to attract murderous intent in wildlife. All they do is step near the pond (or river, or ocean) and normally docile minnows will suddenly fill with murderous intent, hopping out of the water and onto shore where they are vulnerable to just so they can get a shot at killing dwarves. There is an art to this, however, and skilled fisherdwarves can attract up to twenty fish at a time.

[Frontestro]

These are hilarious, yet somehow make sense. Definitely tells me as to why my fisher dwarfs keep getting themselves killed by every living thing and its grandmother.

[wer6]

how do dwarfs hold more then one weapon in their hand

it is all to simple  that even a elf can understand! because their forages  are of masterwork qualities they are able to make weapons that automaticly weld themselves to their hands which enables them to  wield more weapons at a time

[pbnjoe]

Why do people post in 4 month old threads?

... I don't know, honestly. They don't check the dates? Don't know general forum etiquette? *shrug*
Dunno the date where a thread becomes necro'd, but I think this counts.

[GoombaGeek]

Why do people post in 4 month old threads?

... I don't know, honestly. They don't check the dates? Don't know general forum etiquette? *shrug*
Dunno the date where a thread becomes necro'd, but I think this counts.

Naw, my threads are always in style.

[noobnubcakes]

However, this does not explain why the animals don't gradually get heavier.  If a human ate a lifetimes worth of food and never get rid of it, he would weigh more then an elephant, so what happens to the weight? 

I think dwarves retain most of the waste product in their bodies,
the reason why they don't gain weight is pretty obvious
the reason is that their dwarven metabolism naturally excretes higgs pigs bosons.

[sir_schwick]

Where do drawbridges go when turning into walls?

This one requires some knowledge of DF topology which is the infinite surface of a Klein bottle.  Most of what we see actually exists oriented perpendicular to the surface.  Dwarven wormholes created by mechanisms simply result in the bridge being reoriented.  This also explains quantum-stockpiling.  One might ask why this doesn't cause creatures to fall infinite distances.  Simple; the momentum in along the infinite surface is infinite, but is perpendicular to what we consider "normal" Dwarven space and thus 0 in the direction of NDS. 

However, this does not explain why the animals don't gradually get heavier.  If a human ate a lifetimes worth of food and never get rid of it, he would weigh more then an elephant, so what happens to the weight? 

I think dwarves retain most of the waste product in their bodies,
the reason why they don't gain weight is pretty obvious
the reason is that their dwarven metabolism naturally excretes higgs pigs bosons.

Also part of Armokian biology is the idea that digestive products enter Bridge space and are reabsorbed into NDS by some yet to be observed part of the eco/geosystem.

.........................................................

Goomba, want to make some okay drawings of these theories?

[Berossus]

Theres those who say that regular booze intake acts as a catalyst in a thermonucular reaction in the dwarfs stomach that basically transmutates any kind of digestive waste into some form of compact gaseous melocules that are expelled with no visible byproducts at all.

Which explains why dwarfs with no booze slow down, because their bodies then have to deal with digestive waste of actual mass, which drags them down.

Which also explains why they get angry when they have no booze, because they have to take a dump really badly, but dwarfen science is not at the point where it has developed any kind of digestive waste dumping systems.

[GoombaGeek]

Goomba, want to make some okay drawings of these theories?

Oh you geometry-using tease.

Okay, so, there's this article about a very large volume of falling water.

What would happen if the Dwarves built this? Assume that (on opposite sides of the flat earth, no doubt) there is both a magmaaa version and a water version, separated by time and distance but inextricably linked via AND-gate (both levers must be on before both systems deploy almost simultaneously).

[Drazinononda]

Goomba, want to make some okay drawings of these theories?

Oh you geometry-using tease.

Okay, so, there's this article about a very large volume of falling water.

What would happen if the Dwarves built this? Assume that (on opposite sides of the flat earth, no doubt) there is both a magmaaa version and a water version, separated by time and distance but inextricably linked via AND-gate (both levers must be on before both systems deploy almost simultaneously).

1. Randall Munroe is the best kind of genius
2. How does "Black Glass Pancake" sound for a punk/metal/folk band? (and I mean a band that plays all three styles, not just one of them.)