Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1] 2 3 4

Author Topic: The first lawnmower was a cow.  (Read 13251 times)

Tabbyman

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
The first lawnmower was a cow.
« on: July 18, 2012, 05:29:31 am »

What reason would we have had to have lawns up until we had herded animals that ate grass? Then we walked around on their field and thought, hey, this stuff's nice to walk on...

Eventually, humankind parted to an extent with its close relationship to cows, but thousands of years of having lawns drove us to invent a grass chewing machine, resulting not in meat and milk but in petroleum dependency and the temptation to buy chemical fertilizers for a lawn that would have gotten pooped on and mowed by the same animal.

Goats are also an option, but I have a feeling we first came to follow the cow around. :P Just based on something the guy in my avatar talked about (monkeys following cows for a particular reason...). Maybe horses and sheep and goats and donkeys and antelopes and deers etc etc all had lawns we weren't aware of, but if we first met the cow, the cow gave us the idea.

I was always puzzed, why do we have lawns? When did we come to desire a surface of shortened grass? I can't imagine crawling around with shears or a sickle trying to cut a lawn, so anything before the lawnmower made no sense...

Until I thought of cows. And now that I really think about it, I think the stereotypical suburb may have been the source of this funny lawn thing we do, if the suburbs were a way to attract former rural citizens to the city life (a bridge between rural and urban), at which point someone must have invented a lawn mower just to make sure these people had their familiar chewed grass to walk on, without the cow.

Just a thought, not really meant to be serious.

Any other ideas as to why we have lawns? :P

PS: Mmmmm banana. Back to my monkey roots.
Logged
Urist McHallucinate cancels operate pump: flying through the stars in the stomach of a giant fish.

Loud Whispers

  • Bay Watcher
  • They said we have to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
    • View Profile
    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: The first lawnmower was a cow.
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2012, 05:34:06 am »

LAWNS KILL BEES

Tabbyman

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The first lawnmower was a cow.
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2012, 05:55:15 am »

LAWNS KILL BEES

I just googled that phrase and found nothing. Congratulations, those three words in that order have never been typed into the googleable internet before! Until now.
Logged
Urist McHallucinate cancels operate pump: flying through the stars in the stomach of a giant fish.

optimumtact

  • Bay Watcher
  • I even have sheep
    • View Profile
Re: The first lawnmower was a cow.
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2012, 07:07:08 am »

Heh, we still use cows to mow our lawns, saves me having to do it!

I feel like the lawn probably came out of old english nobility, where being able to keep your grounds in absolute tip top order was probably a sign of someone who was wealthy enough to afford many servants. That would be my best guess.
Logged
alternately, I could just take some LSD or something...

Frumple

  • Bay Watcher
  • The Prettiest Kyuuki
    • View Profile
Re: The first lawnmower was a cow.
« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2012, 08:01:26 am »

Re: why lawns: We have cut lawns nowadays to cut down on vermin issues (particularly re: snakes -- an overgrown yard in some places can be damn dangerous -- but there's some other critters it helps with, too.) and reduce fire hazards in crowded areas. S'not just aesthetics. Can depend on how high grass/undergrowth normally gets for your area, though.
« Last Edit: July 18, 2012, 08:05:07 am by Frumple »
Logged
Ask not!
What your country can hump for you.
Ask!
What you can hump for your country.

kaijyuu

  • Bay Watcher
  • Hrm...
    • View Profile
Re: The first lawnmower was a cow.
« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2012, 09:27:25 am »

I'll just put down some cement and paint it green.
Logged
Quote from: Chesterton
For, in order that men should resist injustice, something more is necessary than that they should think injustice unpleasant. They must think injustice absurd; above all, they must think it startling. They must retain the violence of a virgin astonishment. When the pessimist looks at any infamy, it is to him, after all, only a repetition of the infamy of existence. But the optimist sees injustice as something discordant and unexpected, and it stings him into action.

Jervill

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The first lawnmower was a cow.
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2012, 10:10:35 am »

Or just put down some astroturf.
Logged

Yoink

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The first lawnmower was a cow.
« Reply #7 on: July 18, 2012, 10:13:21 am »

Cutting the lawn is a true excercise in utter futility. Something poetic about that, I'm sure.
Kinda like sweeping and mopping.

E: And bathing.
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

kaijyuu

  • Bay Watcher
  • Hrm...
    • View Profile
Re: The first lawnmower was a cow.
« Reply #8 on: July 18, 2012, 10:17:06 am »

Everything's futile on long enough time scales. But not on shorter ones.

So please, take a shower.
Logged
Quote from: Chesterton
For, in order that men should resist injustice, something more is necessary than that they should think injustice unpleasant. They must think injustice absurd; above all, they must think it startling. They must retain the violence of a virgin astonishment. When the pessimist looks at any infamy, it is to him, after all, only a repetition of the infamy of existence. But the optimist sees injustice as something discordant and unexpected, and it stings him into action.

kaenneth

  • Bay Watcher
  • Catching fish
    • View Profile
    • Terrible Web Site
Re: The first lawnmower was a cow.
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2012, 10:54:21 am »

Last I heard, Lawns originated in Scotland, as an effect of smaller grazing animals; large animals, like cows churn the earth too much to leave more than mud in damp climates.

On a related note, 'Court's as in law are derived from Courtyards, the enclosed garden areas where nobles would hold audience with the public, and mediate disputes, etc.
Logged
Quote from: Karnewarrior
Jeeze. Any time I want to be sigged I may as well just post in this thread.
Quote from: Darvi
That is an application of trigonometry that never occurred to me.
Quote from: PTTG??
I'm getting cake.
Don't tell anyone that you can see their shadows. If they hear you telling anyone, if you let them know that you know of them, they will get you.

Loud Whispers

  • Bay Watcher
  • They said we have to aim higher, so we dug deeper.
    • View Profile
    • I APPLAUD YOU SIRRAH
Re: The first lawnmower was a cow.
« Reply #10 on: July 18, 2012, 11:34:28 am »

LAWNS KILL BEES

I just googled that phrase and found nothing. Congratulations, those three words in that order have never been typed into the googleable internet before! Until now.

Honoured. Although I mean what I say, in that since most owners of lawns have a vengeance with weeds (specifically flowering ones), bees end up starving... To quote : "A green desert."

Heliman

  • Bay Watcher
  • I knew you were coming. Nonetheless, welcome.
    • View Profile
Re: The first lawnmower was a cow.
« Reply #11 on: July 18, 2012, 11:44:17 am »

Welcome to the science of quantum status symbols, AKA "culture." To your left you will find fashion and the daily concept of beauty, and over on the right is that thing that's like, SO last week.

Culture doesn't make alot of sense.
Logged

scriver

  • Bay Watcher
  • City streets ain't got much pity
    • View Profile
Re: The first lawnmower was a cow.
« Reply #12 on: July 18, 2012, 11:54:09 am »

Problem: Animals did not graze around the houses unless they lived in cities. A more likely theory (that I just made up without any basis whatsoever :P) is that it is a cultural leftover behavior that originally oriented in people chopping down and flatting the area around their homes so that they'd get less ticks/parasites, so other animals like spiders, snakes and other poisonous or dangerous critters wouldn't want to lurk nearby as much (and make it less likely to step on things you don't want to step on in general), so predators wouldn't he able to sneak up on the small farm animals (like fowl), so that tools wouldn't be lost upon accidental dropage, so fires would have more trouble getting hold, and so on.
Logged
Love, scriver~

Knight of Fools

  • Bay Watcher
  • From Start to Beginning
    • View Profile
    • Knight of Fools
Re: The first lawnmower was a cow.
« Reply #13 on: July 18, 2012, 12:24:17 pm »

In places not blessed with lawn mowers and the like, I've seen people use machetes to cut their grass, when they don't just burn it.
Logged
Proud Member of the Zombie Horse Executioner Squad. "This Horse ain't quite dead yet."

I don't have a British accent, but I still did a YouTube.

DJ

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: The first lawnmower was a cow.
« Reply #14 on: July 18, 2012, 12:35:08 pm »

I have 3 lambs grazing on my lawn right now.
Logged
Urist, President has immigrated to your fortress!
Urist, President mandates the Dwarven Bill of Rights.

Cue magma.
Ah, the Magma Carta...
Pages: [1] 2 3 4