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[scriver]

I think there's also the aspect of telling themselves that it doesn't matter and they didn't want anything to do with that girl anyway, therefore they didn't really just get rejected. A product of insecurity, which you better believe these guys have in spades.

Is it completely stupid and counter to the previous narrative? Yes, absolutely. But it may be the mantra that they feel they need in order to not take the bad feelings of rejection to heart.

It's this. Being rejected is essentially being told you're worthless. People repackage that rejection into an attack in order to feel less bad about themselves. This is not an incel thing, it is fairly common regardless of type and I'm pretty sure that if women courted men more we'd see a lot more women doing if too. It's pretty unhealthy method of coping for the actor as well as toxic for the target, but in that moment, it serves to change the position of the guy from somebody who is being looked down on to the one who is looking down on the other.

It's completely irrational behaviour but it is what it is. Has direct equivalent behaviours in other circumstances too (but it's not as poisonous outside of courting, I'd think); see also Sour Grapes, because that story explains the behaviour more succinctly than most.

[Ulfarr]

Being rejected is essentially being told you're worthless.

I would disagree with that statement. Once one realises that some people just aren't compatible with one another, then the whole "getting in a relationship" thing is just a trial and error proccess, with no connection to one's own worth. To put it simply, you might be worthless to one person and an absolute treasure to another.

I've had instances where I continued sleeping after waking up momentarily, then I felt like I was out of control of my own body the moment I started entering the sleep state. I tried to move my muscles, and they refused to move. Kind of an existential fear for me. Imagine losing control over your own body, and everything's just sorta locked in place. You can sense that there's something wrong with your body's position, but you're powerless to change it. Spooky shit. Pretty similar to the horror of sleep paralysis, though.

What is this called? I'm tempted to call it sleep paralysis, but that describes a different scenario; locked muscles while alert and mentally awake. Mine is closer to 'locked muscles and desperately trying to move during the transition into sleep'.

I have had similar experiences in the past. I found that it helped me break from that state, if I focused on trying to move some small muscle, ie moving my fingers or eyelids. It gets less frightening after the first

[scriver]

Being rejected is essentially being told you're worthless.

I would disagree with that statement. Once one realises that some people just aren't compatible with one another, then the whole "getting in a relationship" thing is just a trial and error proccess, with no connection to one's own worth. To put it simply, you might be worthless to one person and an absolute treasure to another.

I meant it as in the context of those people and the behaviour, not some universal truth.

[Ulfarr]

Being rejected is essentially being told you're worthless.

I would disagree with that statement. Once one realises that some people just aren't compatible with one another, then the whole "getting in a relationship" thing is just a trial and error proccess, with no connection to one's own worth. To put it simply, you might be worthless to one person and an absolute treasure to another.

I meant it as in the context of those people and the behaviour, not some universal truth.

Then I misunderstood you .

[methylatedspirit]

You've (pointing in general direction of scriver and Ulfarr) sparked what sounds like a good point to be making, though. The idea that there is one, and only one "true love" (I feel sinful saying that) in one's life is really harmful, isn't it?

Because you have this person (P1), who thinks this other person (P2) is their true love (ugh). Then rejection hits, which I would say is very likely, and it's like P1's entire reality shatters in front of them. P1 has all these ideas about P2, and, I get it, it's hard to let go of those ideas, but I think one of the underlying things that causes rejection to be as bad as it is, is that "one true love" concept.

It's a shit idea to be parading around, especially to young minds, and I don't think it's right to perpetuate it because of how harmful it is. There's always other fish in the sea. Even I fell victim to this, and I have to constantly remind myself when thinking about any particular crush: "This is only one of many possible "ones". You'll find someone that likes you back some day.". I still like (deliberate use of "like", not "love"; anti-creepiness routines dictates that "love" must be mutual) them, but I don't expect anything from them. "Strangers don't owe you shit, nor do you owe strangers shit.", that's what I'd teach to children.

Then again, what do I know? I'm Mr.* Has Had No Relationships Ever, so what do I know?

^{*(I know there's Mx for enbies like me, but I'm not forcing people to learn that.)}

[scriver]

It has more to do with how, in our societies, the worth and social status of a man is fairly directly parallel to his virility, or "sexual capital", or whatever you want to call it. Being attractive to women is a huge part of that, much bigger than any other one part.

When a woman turns down an advance from a man, she is thus declaring him undesirable, which in itself is a blow against his very worth as a human being. He has shown interest, which makes him vulnerable, so he has to rationalise the response away to protect his sense of self-worth. That is why they have to resort to such ridiculous responses -- if the woman is ugly, a bitch, a whore, or a lesbian, then he don't want her anyway, so her not wanting him doesn't matter any more. It moves themselves from the position of the one who is being attacked and losing social status to the position of the one who is attacking, and puts the target in the "losing" position.

That is also why this behaviour is common with "nice guys", incels, and similar. Their sense of self-worth is already in the ground, in the case of incels they literally hate themselves and think themselves pathetic, so any further "attack" against it is going to be met with stronger feelings of being hurt, which means a stronger necessity to rationalise it away and reframe the situation.

I see my link in the previous post failed, it was supposed to link to wikipedia of the fable of the Fox and the Grapes. Like I said before, we see this kind of "well I didn't want the grapes anyway, they're bad" behaviour in lots of other situations. It just gets much more loaded in sexual context because how important said "sexual capital" is for the internal and external sense of esteem for men in our society.

[Ulfarr]

I'm not sure if I would consider the "one true love" concept as outright harmful. On one hand, obsessing over one person and tolerating any abuse they might throw at you¹ is certainly harmfull on the other hand it can act as a justification for ending a mediocre (as in neither necessarily abusive but nor rewarding²) relationship. I guess it depends on the person.

Personally I do subscribe to the concept that there are many "possible ones" out there, and that it is a matter of circumstance with which one(s) you might end up and for how long. I mean relationships can change and what was once great might become dull and unfulfilling.


1."you" in the general notion, not specifiacaly you methylatedspirit
2. rewarding as in "it makes one enjoy being in such a relationship"

[dragdeler]

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[bloop_bleep]

Do you think one could fold a decent heatsink out of a sheet of copper? Like let's say I have a sheet folded into an S and manage to make it super flat and the contact area super even... Would I be able to hammer out airgaps, or more likely, how would airgaps be expected to affect thermal performance, isn't it like fins basically so long as I don't trap air bubbles? Also what about static discharges, isn't copper more unsafe for the cpu? (or will the thermal paste offer additional protection?)

The main thing with a heat sink I think is surface area. You'd likely want more than just one S. Do a buncha loops. However if the loops are lateral instead of vertical like usually on a heat sink then it would be harder for air to circulate around it.

Let's say I slip a sheet of copper in this small gap here on the bottomside, would that be a problem chemically? Could it generate static electricity? Is it even likely to dissipate heat from the copper to the aluminium? Remember I could put thermal paste on both sides.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It might have galvanic corrosion, but the more immediate issue I think you'll experience is it shorting out the solder points on the opposite side...

Galvanic corrosion happens when two metals are in electrical contact. Heat sinks shouldn't be in electrical contact with anything other than perhaps ground so I think it's fine in this case.

[Kagus]

Shadow of War(dor) is currently 80% off on Steam... I know it went through some bumpy periods with microtransaction hell et al, did we ever come to an agreement as to whether or not this was a worthy successor?

[scriver]

I thought it to be SoM, but bigger and mostly better. As long as the main draw for you were the Orcses and the leadering bits I think you'll appreciate it.

[methylatedspirit]

So my cat, Catto is pregnant. Help, what do I do now? By the time she gives birth, she's probably gonna ask me to take care of her children. I don't like taking care of children (even if it is just kittens), and I'm panicking a little about what I'm supposed to do. Help.

[bloop_bleep]

This is a stray cat right? How do you know it's pregnant? Are you sure it's not just... fat?

If the kittens are uncomfortable for you you could give them to a shelter or to people who you think can take care of them.

[methylatedspirit]

Definitely saw the bulge in the lower body area that's characteristic of pregnancy. That, and I could feel her nipples while giving her belly rubs.

[Frumple]

Ignore them and expect them to die? That's what happens to most stray kittens that don't get notable care (shots/vet care, food, shelter), in my experience. It sucks (super fucking hard), but after a while you also get used to it. Sorta'.

If you want them to live, find someone to take care of them, either you or someone else. They'll need decent shelter, mother will need food etc. if she doesn't abandon them, pretty likely they'll need vet care at some point (infections are not uncommon for younger cats, often deadly if not treated, and using easily available antibiotics or whatever is risky 'cause they don't come in kittendose). It's not hugely burdensome, but it is some effort and cash, especially if your local area doesn't have much low income animal care support. Most of it's just keeping them from wandering around outside and getting killed by something and feeding them, anything fancier probably needs vet care if you don't feel like gambling with dosages and diagnosis and whatnot.

If you'd rather just let nature take its course, well... nature can do that, too. Most or all the kittens are fairly likely to die, though. If they live near you, investing in a decent sized dustpan or shovel can be good to eventually move the kittycorpse. Failing that, keep a plastic bag around as a pseudo glove that also works as disposal container.