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Author Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles  (Read 470955 times)


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DISCLAIMER: The fort's management will not be held responsible if, hypotheticaly, an Aussie, a non-existent creature of myth, stabs you and steals your identity. Proceed at your own risk. If it turns out that Aussies exist and one stabs you and steals your identity, please inform the fort vampire so he or she can feed on you handle the problem.

Spoiler: QUOTES (click to show/hide)


Seven dwarves stood before Kûbuk, the general of The Sacrificial Sword. They had been dragged to his office from the dungeons of Bodicereleased, where they had been previously imprisioned for several charges, including, but not limited to, stealing socks, starting a tavern brawl, aiding philosophers and consorting with kobolds.

For most prisioners, being summoned by Kûbuk was a death sentence, and for these dwarves, it'd be no different.

"Listen up, you criminal scum! His magnificence, King Ïngiz, has declared that you are to go to the area known as The Brutal Tundras of Gristle, and dig a "fortress" for yourselves there. More of your filthy criminal friends will be sent each year, until no more criminals taint the glory of The Sacrificial Sword. You'll be given a wagon and supplies to ensure you get there. If you have questions or complaints, I don't want to hear them. Now, get moving!"

Without any choice or opportunity to complain, the dwarves were escorted to the already prepared wagon and sent on their way, without any idea of the hell-hole they were being sent to.

Spoiler: The location (click to show/hide)

If you haven't already, read Battlefailed, Failcannon and Hellcannon.

Or get it from the archive as either a .doc or a pdf (note: the doc will always be the most up to date. The pdf may not be up to date. doc made by myself, pdf by helf)

(CobaltBlue = waiting for confirmation; MicrolineCyan = currently playing; OlivineGreen = turn complete; CinnabarRed = skipped)
1 - ThatAussieGuy - First try. Fort dead
2 - Gizogin - Reclaimed
3 - Deathsword - Entire fort population (save 2) wiped out twice
4 - armeggedonCounselor Population went from 4 to 4.5
5 - DevilEd - Aquifer defeated
6 - Sinpwn - The curse strikes again
7 - CatalystParadox - Happy dwarves. The horror
8 - Spish - When a quail attacks
9 - Eric Blank - The Barony of Horrorfailed
10 - SethCreiyd - The County of Horrorfailed
11 - Strategia - Another soul consumed by the fort
12 - Lord Slowpoke - Horrorfailed > Weather
13 - Silverlock Count Eric the Blank is now Count Eric the Dead
14 - arcangelsd Brains...
15 - Mr Space Cat Minimalistic turn
16 - Dark_T_Zeratul How to pump: Fail edition
17 - Urist Imiknorris
18 - Megaman 3321
19 - RhymeNorReason
20 - ThatAussieGuy
21 - inspiredsimji
22 - Crocatowa
23 - Greasemunky IT LIVES!
24 - Dinjoralo The Shit
25 - Andreus Description/Subtitle Pending.
26 - Deathsword Partial turn, low FPS strikes again.
27 - NCommander
28 - Johuotar
29 - Neotemplar
30 - gchristopher
31 - StLeibowitz
32 - rrigdway
33 - laularukyrumo
34 - CatalystParadox
35 - Helgoland
36 - Eric Blank
37 - Silverlock
38 - Temporarily9
39 - Dark_T_Zeratul
40 - The Master
41 - Crocatowa
42 - Ieb
43 - sensei_shade
44 - Sumyunguy
« Last Edit: July 24, 2013, 12:53:36 pm by Deathsword »
Monstrous Manual: D&D in DF
Quote from: Tack
What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?


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Re: Horrorfailed (BATTLEFAILED 4) - The Great Dwarf List
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2012, 08:20:54 pm »


NOTE: I'll simply cross dwarfed ones and remove that when they die. So pick whomever you want/like.

To dorf list:
Arcangelsd - NO ME IMPORTA (that is the custom profession name)
armeggedonCounselor - Medic - High consoling skill
Ashsaber - Swordsdwarf - Redshirt
Balnash (if Male) or Balna (if Female) - Speardwarf and Brewer
Bane - Spearman - Spartan Wanabe
Bates - Axedwarf - Innkeeper
Battle Bruva - Military - Blood Raven
Clover Magic - Gem Cutter/Setter
Dark_T_Zeratul - Any military - Dark Templar
Deathsword - Butcher/Swordsdwarf - Waterwalker - Do not dorf as baby or child
destra - Female
DevilEd - Don't redorf if corpse is zombie. (probably never going to be redorfed because of that)
Dinjoralo - Taupe Traveler
Doof - Military - Cannon Fodder - Male
Dorfitron - Totally Not A Robot
Echostatic - Brewer - Brewmaster - Male, if possible, but not necessary
Eric/Erica - Do not redwarf as long as his zombie is around
Foo Quuxman - Death Biter - Male
Gizogin - Medic
Helgoland - Marxy Marx - High comedian skill and has to like helping others
hostergaard - Beekeeper
Ieb the Xnd (where X is the current version, if you can find out how many there were anyway) - Military - The Angry Prophet of Luk
Inspiredsimji - Engineer/Mason - Proctastinator
Jorlin - Farmer(any)/Speardwarf - Pigsticker
Kar Puwuncobi - El Presidente
Kirby - Soap Maker/Speardwarf - Soap Warrior
Koter - Soldier - Quick to heal and male
Ledi - Crazy Cat Lady - Must Like Cats
Megaman3321 - Crossbowdwarf - Cyborg
Mr Frog - Something farming-related - Harmless Bystander
Mr Syde - Smith - Must also like cats
Nani - Wrestler
NCommander - Engineer or Marksdwarf or Hammerdwarf
Newbunkle - Mad Prophet
Nexusv - Cook - Zärtlich Vampir - High Sympathy
Phlum McOnBreak - Engraver
Pyro - Siege Engineer/Operator
Qwerty - Mason or Engraver - Wannabe Pic
Rhyme - Axedwarf - Soul Eater
rridgway - Failday Survivor
Sabretache - Military - Charr Commander
Saint - Marksdwarf
Sethrist - Herbalist
Silverlock - Brewer - Chief Inspector
SignHere - Soldier/Weaponsmith
Skrib - Hunter
Space - Armorsmith - Armored Armorer
Space - Weaponsmith - Makes the Weapons (custom profession name)
Spishaban - Sheriff/Animal Trainer - Janitor
Splint - Swordsdwarf
Strategia - Cheesemaker/Militia - Prophet of Cheese
Tasrak - Eccentric Wizard
Thaddeus the Fail Saint - Hammerdwarf - Fail
Triaxx - Miner - Failbringer
Tryrar - Military
Urist Imiknoriss - Mechanic - Mad Machinist
Vix - Lurking Dragon
Volfgarix - Bowyer/Marksdwarf
« Last Edit: June 04, 2013, 06:33:44 pm by Deathsword »
Monstrous Manual: D&D in DF
Quote from: Tack
What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?


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So it has begun again. Woo, it's not me maintaining the op for once! Also I want a continually-redorfed dorf.



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*eye sparkle*


Please dwarf me.

EDIT: Whoops, I get to be more specific? Okay. I want to be a hammerdwarf. Hammers are nice.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2012, 10:53:33 pm by GoombaGeek »
My wooden badge was delicious.

Mr Space Cat

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Aaaaw man, here we go!

Waded through the horrors of the past failforts the last couple weeks after finding the forums. I especially liked the Sea of Ooze that rotted FB's feet off in the second fort.

Posting to follow, and request a dorfing from a future migrant wave.

Nickname: "Space"
Preferably a military axedorf, custom profesion "Wannabe Viking"

Gonna love watching this unfold in all it's eldritch horror and dorfy glory.
Made a new account that I use instead of this one. Don't message this one, I'm probably not gonna use it.

New account: Spehss _


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Might as well do this.
Please dorf me.
Name: Nexus
Profession: Preferably as a Cook.
« Last Edit: August 18, 2012, 08:40:10 am by Nexusv »


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Reserving a dorf and turn for the next one. Spishaban, preferably sheriff and de facto animal trainer (assuming we'll be playing on DF2012 with the improved training). No skill preference, although fighting experience would be lovely.
« Last Edit: April 07, 2016, 11:28:32 am by Spish »
Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.

Eric Blank

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I pre-requested a dorf and a turn in Hellcannon's thread. I hope that's renewed here!

This is likely going to be very, very fun...
I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.


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Hats off to Horrorfailed, may she stand tall among her predecessors.

I pre-requested a dorf and a turn in Hellcannon's thread. I hope that's renewed here!

Same here.  Please name my dwarf Sethrist and make him an herbalist.


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Hats off to Horrorfailed, may she stand tall among her predecessors.

The gods approve of this fort.


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Please, dwarf me as male Marksdwarf or bowyer.
Nick: Folwirgh
« Last Edit: August 18, 2012, 02:54:56 am by Volfgarix »


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I'd like to be Dorfed when possible. Name: El Blargo


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Hahah. Ahahahahah. Bwahahahahah


This should be Fun...

I will commence my turn in a few hours, I only just got home.


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Looks like you missed Strategia's post
I haven't been here in a while, and I'm still catching up on the "latest" developments (still 25 pages to go), but I'm skipping ahead to claim my position in the next fort as well. I'd like a turn and a dwarf please.

Strategia - Cheesemaker/Militia - Prophet of Cheese

While I'm at it, here's Lord "Kar Puwuncobi" Slowpoke and Silverlock's as well.
But why not - hook me up with a turn and put Kar on the dorfing list.
I too would like to be dorfed in the next fort, please, although it needn't be as one of the starting seven; coming in as a migrant would be fine.

Silverlock -- "Innocent Bystander" -- Brewer or, really, anything.  I'm not picky.
Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.


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Oh hey, thanks Spish. Now I won't need to look for that.

Anyway, have a PTW until I come up with anything better to post.
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