Dwarf Fortress > DF Community Games & Stories
Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles
Deathsword:
DISCLAIMER: The fort's management will not be held responsible if, hypotheticaly, an Aussie, a non-existent creature of myth, stabs you and steals your identity. Proceed at your own risk. If it turns out that Aussies exist and one stabs you and steals your identity, please inform the fort vampire so he or she can feed on you handle the problem.
Spoiler: QUOTES (click to show/hide)
--- Quote from: Darvi on August 22, 2012, 01:52:20 am ---
--- Quote from: Mego on August 21, 2012, 09:11:39 pm ---Shit. History is repeating itself. AGAIN. I guess we just don't ever learn from the past.
Hey let's try building a cannon!
--- End quote ---
Most accurate description of the forts to date.
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: Mr Space Cat on September 06, 2012, 07:42:04 am ---Also, there's corpses everywhere and at the moment the only 2 dwarves capable of any work are currently attending a party. That's the fort in a nutshell really.
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: Andreus on September 12, 2012, 08:17:22 am ---Hey guys, just checked in again to see what you were doing with th
FUCK
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: Deathsword on September 07, 2012, 06:41:44 pm ---So, apparently, Horrorfailed is self-aware and hates Linux.
Gentlemen we have created an Eldritch Abomination. Well done.
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: Dinjoralo on September 21, 2012, 10:09:25 pm ---Hey guys, I left for a bit and-
...
What the hell is going on here? Dwarves getting in the fort? Dwarves being happy? Dwarves working? What the fuck happened when I was gone?
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: EmeraldWind on September 27, 2012, 05:11:14 pm ---
I believe this is more accurate...
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: CatalystParadox on September 30, 2012, 08:42:45 pm ---
--- End quote ---
HORRORFAILED THE BATTLE-CANNON OF HELL
Seven dwarves stood before Kûbuk, the general of The Sacrificial Sword. They had been dragged to his office from the dungeons of Bodicereleased, where they had been previously imprisioned for several charges, including, but not limited to, stealing socks, starting a tavern brawl, aiding philosophers and consorting with kobolds.
For most prisioners, being summoned by Kûbuk was a death sentence, and for these dwarves, it'd be no different.
"Listen up, you criminal scum! His magnificence, King Ïngiz, has declared that you are to go to the area known as The Brutal Tundras of Gristle, and dig a "fortress" for yourselves there. More of your filthy criminal friends will be sent each year, until no more criminals taint the glory of The Sacrificial Sword. You'll be given a wagon and supplies to ensure you get there. If you have questions or complaints, I don't want to hear them. Now, get moving!"
Without any choice or opportunity to complain, the dwarves were escorted to the already prepared wagon and sent on their way, without any idea of the hell-hole they were being sent to.
---
Spoiler: The location (click to show/hide)
If you haven't already, read Battlefailed, Failcannon and Hellcannon.
Or get it from the archive as either a .doc or a pdf (note: the doc will always be the most up to date. The pdf may not be up to date. doc made by myself, pdf by helf)
TURN LIST:
(CobaltBlue = waiting for confirmation; MicrolineCyan = currently playing; OlivineGreen = turn complete; CinnabarRed = skipped)
1 - ThatAussieGuy - First try. Fort dead
2 - Gizogin - Reclaimed
3 - Deathsword - Entire fort population (save 2) wiped out twice
4 - armeggedonCounselor Population went from 4 to 4.5
5 - DevilEd - Aquifer defeated
6 - Sinpwn - The curse strikes again
7 - CatalystParadox - Happy dwarves. The horror
8 - Spish - When a quail attacks
9 - Eric Blank - The Barony of Horrorfailed
10 - SethCreiyd - The County of Horrorfailed
11 - Strategia - Another soul consumed by the fort
12 - Lord Slowpoke - Horrorfailed > Weather
13 - Silverlock Count Eric the Blank is now Count Eric the Dead
14 - arcangelsd Brains...
15 - Mr Space Cat Minimalistic turn
16 - Dark_T_Zeratul How to pump: Fail edition
17 - Urist Imiknorris
18 - Megaman 3321
19 - RhymeNorReason
20 - ThatAussieGuy
21 - inspiredsimji
22 - Crocatowa
23 - Greasemunky IT LIVES!
24 - Dinjoralo The Shit
25 - Andreus
26 - Deathsword
27 - NCommander
28 - Johuotar
29 - Neotemplar
30 - gchristopher
31 - StLeibowitz
32 - rrigdway
33 - laularukyrumo
34 - CatalystParadox
35 - Helgoland
36 - Eric Blank
37 - Silverlock
38 - Temporarily9
39 - Dark_T_Zeratul
40 - The Master
41 - Crocatowa
42 - Ieb
43 - sensei_shade
Deathsword:
IF POSSIBLE DETAIL DORFING REQUEST AS THUS: NAME - PROFESSION - CUSTOM PROFESSION NAME - EXTRA REQUESTS (not guaranteed)
NOTE: I'll simply cross dwarfed ones and remove that when they die. So pick whomever you want/like.
To dorf list:
Aerie
Andreus
Arcangelsd - NO ME IMPORTA (that is the custom profession name)
armeggedonCounselor - Medic - High consoling skill
Art
Ashsaber - Swordsdwarf - Redshirt
Balnash (if Male) or Balna (if Female) - Speardwarf and Brewer
Bane - Spearman - Spartan Wanabe
Bates - Axedwarf - Innkeeper
Battle Bruva - Military - Blood Raven
Catalyst
Clover Magic - Gem Cutter/Setter
Dark_T_Zeratul - Any military - Dark Templar
Deathsword - Butcher/Swordsdwarf - Waterwalker - Do not dorf as baby or child
destra - Female
DevilEd - Don't redorf if corpse is zombie. (probably never going to be redorfed because of that)
Dinjoralo - Taupe Traveler
Doof - Military - Cannon Fodder - Male
Dorfitron - Totally Not A Robot
Echostatic - Brewer - Brewmaster - Male, if possible, but not necessary
EmeraldWind
Eric/Erica - Do not redwarf as long as his zombie is around
Foo Quuxman - Death Biter - Male
Gizogin - Medic
GoombaGeek
Greasemunky
Helgoland - Marxy Marx - High comedian skill and has to like helping others
hostergaard - Beekeeper
Hunter
Ieb the Xnd (where X is the current version, if you can find out how many there were anyway) - Military - The Angry Prophet of Luk
Inspiredsimji - Engineer/Mason - Proctastinator
Jorlin - Farmer(any)/Speardwarf - Pigsticker
Kaamen
Kar Puwuncobi - El Presidente
Kirby - Soap Maker/Speardwarf - Soap Warrior
Koter - Soldier - Quick to heal and male
Ledi - Crazy Cat Lady - Must Like Cats
Megaman3321 - Crossbowdwarf - Cyborg
Mego
Microblight
Mr Frog - Something farming-related - Harmless Bystander
Mr Syde - Smith - Must also like cats
Nani - Wrestler
Neotemplar
NCommander - Engineer or Marksdwarf or Hammerdwarf
Newbunkle - Mad Prophet
Nexusv - Cook - Zärtlich Vampir - High Sympathy
NightmareBros
Phlum McOnBreak - Engraver
Pyro - Siege Engineer/Operator
Qwerty - Mason or Engraver - Wannabe Pic
Rhyme - Axedwarf - Soul Eater
rridgway - Failday Survivor
Sabretache - Military - Charr Commander
Saint - Marksdwarf
sensei_shade
Sethrist - Herbalist
ShadowDragon
Silverlock - Brewer - Chief Inspector
SignHere - Soldier/Weaponsmith
Skrib - Hunter
Space - Armorsmith - Armored Armorer
Space - Weaponsmith - Makes the Weapons (custom profession name)
Spishaban - Sheriff/Animal Trainer - Janitor
Splint - Swordsdwarf
Strategia - Cheesemaker/Militia - Prophet of Cheese
Tasrak - Eccentric Wizard
Thaddeus the Fail Saint - Hammerdwarf - Fail
ThatAussieDwarf
Triaxx - Miner - Failbringer
Tryrar - Military
Urist Imiknoriss - Mechanic - Mad Machinist
Vix - Lurking Dragon
Volfgarix - Bowyer/Marksdwarf
Mego:
So it has begun again. Woo, it's not me maintaining the op for once! Also I want a continually-redorfed dorf.
FIRST POST WOO!
GoombaGeek:
*eye sparkle*
Awesome.
Please dwarf me.
EDIT: Whoops, I get to be more specific? Okay. I want to be a hammerdwarf. Hammers are nice.
Mr Space Cat:
Aaaaw man, here we go!
Waded through the horrors of the past failforts the last couple weeks after finding the forums. I especially liked the Sea of Ooze that rotted FB's feet off in the second fort.
Posting to follow, and request a dorfing from a future migrant wave.
Nickname: "Space"
Preferably a military axedorf, custom profesion "Wannabe Viking"
Gonna love watching this unfold in all it's eldritch horror and dorfy glory.
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