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Author Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles  (Read 538907 times)

Dark_T_Zeratul

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1425 on: March 10, 2013, 03:51:10 am »

Journal of Dark_T_Zeratul, Dark Templar of Horrofailed

3rd of Limestone, 512

Have just been handed the insignia of leadership by Mr. Space Cat, shortly before he ran off screaming something about how "it's not dead if it's sleeping" and how strange it is that "death can die." Something about a giant with an octopus face...? I think he's been spending a bit too much time around the tower caps, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I figured that if I'm leader now, I should actually acquaint myself with more of this place than my patrol area. I'm gonna go take a walk around and get a feel for the layout of this place.

4th of Limestone, 512

FUCK. THIS. SHIT. Making sense of this place is probably what drove Mr. Space Cat mad. No, I think I'm just gonna come up with a project and do whatever needs to be done to make it happen, consequences be damned.

9th of Limestone, 512
A Kobold Thief was caught in our stockpiles. He was promptly massacred by Megaman3321, EmeraldWind, two wolves, and a great horned owl. Clearly, increasing security is not a pressing concern.

14th of Limestone, 512
Why didn't anyone tell me the traders were here!? I've got a sinking feeling they're going to leave just as I finish having stuff hauled to the depot.

15th of Limestone, 512
I made the traders what I thought was a very reasonable offer of clothing stripped off of dwarves who probably died horribly (no one dies peacefully in Horrorfailed) in exchange for booze, but they kept eyeing our metal armor and gold bars and making counteroffers I was never going to accept. Finally, I got fed up, took all their stuff, and told them to GTFO. Stupid humans.
« Last Edit: March 10, 2013, 01:45:57 pm by Dark_T_Zeratul »
Logged
The miasma caused Sethrist to go miserable and throw a tantrum. During the tantrum he mauled a dog to near-death and that caused his mood to go all the way up to content. Apparently, beating the crap out of dogs is the best way to achieve happiness.

Dark_T_Zeratul

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1426 on: March 10, 2013, 04:22:55 am »

The dwarfing list is complete, and there are several available dwarves. I need to fix that by murdering naming them.

I'm also not sure when my turn ends, since the save started in Autumn. Am I going to the end of this year? End of next year? Next Limestone?
« Last Edit: March 10, 2013, 04:51:33 am by Dark_T_Zeratul »
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The miasma caused Sethrist to go miserable and throw a tantrum. During the tantrum he mauled a dog to near-death and that caused his mood to go all the way up to content. Apparently, beating the crap out of dogs is the best way to achieve happiness.

Spish

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1427 on: March 10, 2013, 09:58:39 am »

You can just play to the end of the year if you're lazy, or you can go all the way through to next winter to compensate for Space not finishing his turn. Up to you.
Logged
Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.

Foo Quuxman

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1428 on: March 10, 2013, 12:41:50 pm »



Journal of Foo Quuxman:

Was walking down the hall today when the administrator ran past me screaming his head off, everyone else was acting "normaly" so I figured it was one of those "strange moods". Turns out we have a new leader; keeps calling himself a "Dark Temple" or something, how in Armok's name can a dwarf be a temple?

Last I saw of Mr. Space Cat he was muttering something about adopting Ledi.


OOC:
Could I see my dwarf info page and jobs if it isn't too much trouble?
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Dark_T_Zeratul

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1429 on: March 14, 2013, 03:23:04 am »

2nd of Sandstone, 512
We ran out of plump helmet spawns today. I hope the dwarven caravan brings more; we're going to need them.

7th of Sandstone, 512
Thirteen idle dwarves? Slackers, the lot of them! I've told them all to grab picks and start digging; my grand plan requires more mining than is currently being done.

10th of Sandstone, 512
Seven new migrants arrived today, though I can't fathom why. Hopefully they're not entirely useless. Mayor Nexusv also banned the export of quivers, as if we would ever sell military equipment like that.

16th of Sandstone, 512
Whoops, that was the aquifer. Three dwarves and a baby drowned, none of whose names I could be bothered to remember. Oh well. On the plus side, having all that water there will actually be very helpful. Time for phase 2!

20th of Sandstone, 512
Oh, Kirby drowned too. It just took four days for anyone to notice.

24th of Sandstone
Space was incinerated by the Forgotten Beast Mostod Merrangkobem today. Silverlock - who saw the whole thing - claims that the beast limped away with its face melting off. I've no idea how a fire-breathing abomination isn't fireproof, but there it is. Hopefully this will work to our advantage should one of our number ever face it again.

25th of Sandstone, 512
We received a report of a new Forgotten Beast today: Snuslu Sasneongo. A giant guy made of mud... Doesn't sound too difficult. Spiral shell... Only a minor hindrance. Emaciated, excellent! Poisonous gas... Oh, damn. Better keep our distance, then.

27th of Sandstone, 512
Someone told me today that Space had just created a masterpiece. Baffled as to how he could achieve this feat despite having been reduced to ash only three days ago, I checked the records and discovered that there are two Spaces in our fortress.

Well... there WERE two Spaces, anyway.

13th of Timber, 512
The merchants have arrived! Assuming they survive long enough to get inside, I really hope they brought a ton of plump helmet spawns with them.

14th of Timber, 512
A goblin siege force arrived today, and promptly found themselves in combat with the local wilddeath. At least the traders made it inside alright.

18th of Timber, 512
The goblins, having spent the last four days vomiting, are finally making their way toward our front gate. If they survive the gauntlet of traps, we shall see if my project works as anticipated...

24th of Timber, 512
After spending the better part of a week hunting dingos (living and otherwise), the goblins finally decided to come inside. As expected, they were completely torn apart by the traps, but their archer managed to mortally wound one of our guard wolves before being sliced in half. I can't help but feel some disappointment, though that they didn't make it inside and give me a test of my creation.

27th of Timber, 512
I traded a large amount of our now-unused clothing (don't mind the blood and vomit and bits of rotting skin, that's just decoration) for some much-needed plump helmet spawns and pig tail seeds. Not nearly as many of them as I'd like, but they did have a very large supply of plump helmets that should provide us with some more seeds. I got some extra meat, fish, cheese, and booze, too, just in case.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2013, 04:43:19 am by Dark_T_Zeratul »
Logged
The miasma caused Sethrist to go miserable and throw a tantrum. During the tantrum he mauled a dog to near-death and that caused his mood to go all the way up to content. Apparently, beating the crap out of dogs is the best way to achieve happiness.

Dark_T_Zeratul

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1430 on: March 14, 2013, 03:28:39 am »

Foo:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: March 15, 2013, 12:03:50 am by Dark_T_Zeratul »
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The miasma caused Sethrist to go miserable and throw a tantrum. During the tantrum he mauled a dog to near-death and that caused his mood to go all the way up to content. Apparently, beating the crap out of dogs is the best way to achieve happiness.

SpaceKGreen

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1431 on: March 14, 2013, 07:49:36 am »

...

24th of Sandstone
Space was incinerated by the Forgotten Beast Mostod Merrangkobem today. Silverlock - who saw the whole thing - claims that the beast limped away with its face melting off. I've no idea how a fire-breathing abomination isn't fireproof, but there it is. Hopefully this will work to our advantage should one of our number ever face it again.

...

27th of Sandstone, 512
Someone told me today that Space had just created a masterpiece. Baffled as to how he could achieve this feat despite having been reduced to ash only three days ago, I checked the records and discovered that there are two Spaces in our fortress.

Well... there WERE two Spaces, anyway.

...

Oh dear.  Which one?  :|
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Silverlock

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1432 on: March 14, 2013, 09:06:29 am »

24th of Sandstone
Space was incinerated by the Forgotten Beast Mostod Merrangkobem today. Silverlock - who saw the whole thing - claims that the beast limped away with its face melting off. I've no idea how a fire-breathing abomination isn't fireproof, but there it is. Hopefully this will work to our advantage should one of our number ever face it again.


Given how bravely I hid behind a rock and shouted at Space to kill the creature -- even aside from the valuable intelligence I uncovered -- I think I deserve a medal.  One with the image of a Forgotten Beast would do nicely.
Logged
"All right boys, let's strike the- *crack* whatthefwarblblub..."
"...Dibs on the pick."
Hidden beneath rusting weapons was a mass of assorted bones. An elf, a goblin, even an ogre. All just waiting for someone to walk by and notice them, like some kind of land mine of horror.

Mr Space Cat

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1433 on: March 14, 2013, 10:35:57 am »

...I'm gonna go ahead and request a redorfing. Y'know, cause that was probably me. Also because my last dorf wasn't skilled enough to make masterwork armor yet, so that must've been other other Space.

Name: Space
Profession: Meatshield
Job: Armorer

Keep me down in the forges where I belong this time. It's a nice little moderately safer place. >.>

I'm surprised we actually ran out of plump helmet spawn. I thought that was the "can never have too much, can never need more" plant.
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Made a new account that I use instead of this one. Don't message this one, I'm probably not gonna use it.

New account: Spehss _

Silverlock

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1434 on: March 14, 2013, 02:56:48 pm »

I'm surprised we actually ran out of plump helmet spawn. I thought that was the "can never have too much, can never need more" plant.

Yeah, I get messages about needing more all the time in my forts, but it's usually more a matter of having them in bins and unavailable than actually being out of them.
Logged
"All right boys, let's strike the- *crack* whatthefwarblblub..."
"...Dibs on the pick."
Hidden beneath rusting weapons was a mass of assorted bones. An elf, a goblin, even an ogre. All just waiting for someone to walk by and notice them, like some kind of land mine of horror.

Eric Blank

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1435 on: March 14, 2013, 03:09:49 pm »

Journal of Eric McZombieBaron

I am angry. The fools STILL haven't finished my quarters, to my knowledge, and they still keep me locked away in a cage, like some sort of rabid beast! I am no witless fool; I possess self-control! But I swear, if I ever get out, the overseer will be joining me in my quarters later for a very special meeting. Worse still, they have been ignoring my authority of late, as if death has stripped me of my title. They haven't selected a successor to my post, nor have I chosen my own heir. There will be vengeance.

Count Eric mandates being moved to his mansion!

Count Eric mandates a nicer mansion!

Count Eric has mandated the construction of certain goods.

0/1 replacement blacksmiths.

0/5 Bronze military equipment.
Logged
I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Destra

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1436 on: March 14, 2013, 04:08:25 pm »

Wow I don't think I've ever been mentioned so much in such a short time, I feel honored :p but who am I and can I see my bio pweeeze? :p
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Dark_T_Zeratul

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1437 on: March 15, 2013, 12:11:57 am »

Space(s): The surviving Space is an Insane Weaponsmith. I'm assuming then that Space Cat is the deceased one?

Destra: I don't see any dwarves named Destra. Does it have a different name?
« Last Edit: March 15, 2013, 12:40:50 am by Dark_T_Zeratul »
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The miasma caused Sethrist to go miserable and throw a tantrum. During the tantrum he mauled a dog to near-death and that caused his mood to go all the way up to content. Apparently, beating the crap out of dogs is the best way to achieve happiness.

Eric Blank

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1438 on: March 15, 2013, 02:13:20 am »

One Space dies in a firey blaze, the other of dehydration due to insanity?

Count Eric has mandated the construction of certain goods.

0/1 replacement Armorsmiths

0/1 replacement Weaponsmiths


0/5 bronze military equipment

The bronze must flow!
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Temporarily9

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1439 on: March 15, 2013, 02:45:39 am »

I managed to derp up my Dorfing request somehow, pasted in the wrong text. Could someone change the profession to "Terrible Artist", when convenient? Dorf name "Qwerty".
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