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Author Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles  (Read 555356 times)

Stafir Ortnev

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - It lives
« Reply #645 on: September 20, 2012, 04:11:32 pm »

Huh..oh wow I didn't notice I was logged in reading these posts the entire time...wonder when that happened.  Eh oh well.

First a few things to begin.  Just came back to Dwarf Fortress..oohh about 2 weeks ago, went to community stories first thing to catch up on things.  Read through Deathgate in about a day or 2..and saw mentions of the Battlefailed series.  So uh...yeah I finally just finished reading through the entire Battlefailed series..with the first two giving me many laughs...hellcannon was just..I don't know..kind of meh overall...but still was okish....this one has given me a few decent laughs already though with its discussion.

With that said..first my main reason for de-lurking.

Eric:  You're minecraft problem.  Are you just running the Technic/Tekkit exe, or the .jar download option?  If you havn't tried the jar..then download it and just try to execute that...the computers I minecraft on won't run the .exe at all..but they'll run the jar file just fine.

As for the fort itself...first no I don't want a turn :P.  First I've been out of DF for awhile..and never got overly into the complicated stuff.  So my turn wouldn't be that fun from the interesting reading side...and I'd probably just kill the fort...especially since I've never delt with evil areas in the older versions...going into this as my re-introduction?  I think FUN would make me kill it in one month....

Which reading the thread...we'll that'd be just ducky with all of you, and I wouldn't mind that.

The other side is I'd be hightly succeptable to the BF curse...my current good computer is out of commission...the only computers I could run DF from are either the computer at my place of work, or a housemates computer.  In either case i'd have some access..but I think all of you can figure how that could cause the Curse to strike..and strike fast.  Also I'm currently suffering an acute case of Minecraftian Build Syndrome....which has symptoms similar to Dwarfious Fortious Psychosis...but instead of gleefully throwing dwarven children into pits of puppies and dogs (as well as anything else you can find into anything else), I tend to stick to slapping physics around with blocks until it lays down, cries, and asks me to stop creating energy and adding to the universe's heat index.

On the other side, having enjoyed the read..and planning to keep up with the thread for a little bit may I humbly request a personal dwarf added to the request list?  Uhh..once there's enough of a population to do so that is :P.  Given its current pop and the number of people ahead of me..well...yeah I know this'll be awhile.

Jorlin - farmer/miner/woodcutter/hunter/similar, as well as on-call militia (speardwarf) - Pigsticker - Pick from the job list, feel free to add closely related or similar themed jobs.  I'd prefer a male dwarf..and one who's tougher than normal (which yeah..will take me awhile to be dwarfed).
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CatalystParadox

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - It lives
« Reply #646 on: September 21, 2012, 01:43:05 am »

Imaginary Journal of Catalyst, Dwarven Baby
20th Slate, 506

We've started an attempt to expand the fortress in a few much needed ways - namely, digging a well, and some proper bedrooms and so on down in the rock - not to mention sealing a few gaps to the cavern, and putting together a proper burial chamber. 

This isn't happening, of course, because everyone is too busy partying - with a rotting corpse in the room.


A fatally depressed merchant and a ghost hung around for the event as well.

My mommy Strategia finally got tired from all the revelry, and then the one-armed nutter went off and started digging!  And... then nearly immediately went on break.  Dwarves are famous for their work ethic, you know?
Spoiler: Dedication (click to show/hide)

But then Strategia managed to get out of bed and start building the floor over our chute-to-the-caverns after all.  Of course, I went about this foolishly and after finishing, she was trapped down there until Newbunkle decided he had relaxed long enough and came to do another five minutes worth of digging to rescue her.


Around this time, Eric, the poor insane child,  after running wildly around the fort for a while, dehydrated,.  I tugged on Strategia's arm til she made a coffin for him - but Newbunkle is sleeping off all his partying instead of digging our new burial area, so its a bit of a wasted effort, for now.

So, we're making some progress, but both the adult dwarves, while... functional... are incapable of staying on task for more than tiny spurts of activity.

Then - MIGRANTS!  Arriving in an area NOT covered in mist and goo, no less!

Things immediately went mad, of course.  We unlocked the door to let them in, and the stir-crazy merchants we've been keeping locked up immediately charged out.  One of the new arrivals, Saint, a marksdwarf, was overtaken by the madness outside and set to laying bolts into everything in sight.  Which seemed foolish of her, but it seemed to actually provide enough of a distraction to allow almost all the others to rush inside safely.  At this point I got all kinds of notifications about dwarves being "found dead" who had lay outside for ages in that state exactly.

First, those who didn't make it, aka, the future un-dead:


... but the following made it inside alright:

Spoiler: Volfgarix (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Saint (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Mego (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Deathsword (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: armageddonCounselor (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Urist Imiknorriss (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: NCommander (click to show/hide)

They did, however, lead an ogress corpse to the hidden entrance.

More on that next time!

---------

*ahem*

This was a triumph.  I'm making a note here: "degree of success has exceeded my expectations."

We're 12 dwarves!  Okay granted at least one, maybe two of those are still locked outside, but MOST are safe and sound.  Maybe I won't spend the whole turn watching two crippled dwarves slack off and slowly die while neglecting children, after all!  Hm, now that I say that I find myself thinking - shouldn't that be exactly what happens in a Battlefailed fort?

Sorry for not putting much 'character' in.  Maybe another time I'll take the time for it, but for now I just wanted to squeeze in an update before the end of the day (it's been busy... it's my birthday!)  Hopefully back before too long!

P.S. - before you all start giving me advice about dealing with the zombie Ogress - it's okay, I've already handled it.  I just decided to end on a cliffhanger, like the bastard I am.

EDIT: Gender is hard.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2012, 04:57:45 pm by CatalystParadox »
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

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I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

ThatAussieGuy

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - It lives
« Reply #647 on: September 21, 2012, 06:27:06 am »

Looking at the screenshots, we seem to have a breach into the caverns at that staircase. Might want to wall that in before something flies in to visit the fort tunnels.

Mr Space Cat

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - It lives
« Reply #648 on: September 21, 2012, 07:42:20 am »

Dang, our dwarves party hard.

Hopefully the worst is over. If we can keep these 10 or so dwarves alive then we may have a better chance of surviving this hellhole. Also, happy birthday man!
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RhymeNorReason

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - It lives
« Reply #649 on: September 21, 2012, 12:18:54 pm »

I see the dwarven work ethic hasn't gotten any better. Also, I have an awesome dwarf. That is.. Well, awesome.
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Volfgarix

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - It lives
« Reply #650 on: September 21, 2012, 01:00:52 pm »

At last i'm got dwarved (I didn't readed all thread anyway), but something is wrong with Spoilers, these have nothing for me...
Spoilers in other topics works... weird.

Edit: Ok, I solved it.

Keep my dwarf sane and safe, please, it is my first dwarfing.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2012, 01:10:40 pm by Volfgarix »
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Strategia

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - It lives
« Reply #651 on: September 21, 2012, 01:22:38 pm »

Keep my dwarf sane and safe, please, it is my first dwarfing.

*points at the phrase "BATTLEFAILED 4" in thread title*

CatalystParadox

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - It lives
« Reply #652 on: September 21, 2012, 03:43:43 pm »

Looking at the screenshots, we seem to have a breach into the caverns at that staircase. Might want to wall that in before something flies in to visit the fort tunnels.

Oh, I saw that.  Already done, chief ;)

Dang, our dwarves party hard.

Hopefully the worst is over. If we can keep these 10 or so dwarves alive then we may have a better chance of surviving this hellhole. Also, happy birthday man!

Thanks!

Keep my dwarf sane and safe, please, it is my first dwarfing.

... you don't know how this works, do you? :P

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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

gchristopher

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - It lives
« Reply #653 on: September 21, 2012, 04:29:49 pm »

Sigh. Requesting to be added to the turn list.

Thankfully, this place probably won't last that long.
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CatalystParadox

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - It lives
« Reply #654 on: September 21, 2012, 04:54:43 pm »

Sigh. Requesting to be added to the turn list.

Thankfully, this place probably won't last that long.

C'mon man, have a little faith!  We just quadrupled the population of the fortress, after all!  (the opposite of my usual effect...)
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

Mego

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - It lives
« Reply #655 on: September 21, 2012, 05:20:39 pm »

Sigh. Requesting to be added to the turn list.

Thankfully, this place probably won't last that long.

C'mon man, have a little faith!  We just quadrupled the population of the fortress, after all!  (the opposite of my usual effect...)

The sad thing is, that's entirely accurate.

That would be funny if it weren't so sad...

Teneb

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - It lives
« Reply #656 on: September 21, 2012, 05:23:10 pm »

Sigh. Requesting to be added to the turn list.

Thankfully, this place probably won't last that long.

Can someone explain to me why someone sighs and expects a fort not to last to their turn while signing up to it?
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What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?

gchristopher

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - It lives
« Reply #657 on: September 21, 2012, 05:30:08 pm »

Thankfully, this place probably won't last that long.

Can someone explain to me why someone sighs and expects a fort not to last to their turn while signing up to it?
That WAS optimism! Don't tell me any half-sane dwarf would approach a BattleFailed-series fortress with anything but trepidation. But .... can't resist .... trying to help dig just a little deeper...

I do love forts in evil biomes. There's nothing like a reanimation pit to keep the crossbowdwarves in practice shooting persistently undead kittens. Kitten husks. Huskittens.

Also, it's mildly inferred by history that someone signing up for turn 30 might have a wait in store:

Battlefailed: 16 turns
FailCannon: 24 turns
HellCannon: 23 turns

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Teneb

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - It lives
« Reply #658 on: September 21, 2012, 06:26:00 pm »

My turn in Failcannon was Year 24. A lot of waiting was involved but it happened.

By the way: hellcannon had far less turns than that. Count them manually, Mego kept the numbers as if everyone (even those that skipped) had played.
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What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?

Mego

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - It lives
« Reply #659 on: September 21, 2012, 06:42:41 pm »

My turn in Failcannon was Year 24. A lot of waiting was involved but it happened.

By the way: hellcannon had far less turns than that. Count them manually, Mego kept the numbers as if everyone (even those that skipped) had played.

MATH IS NOT MY STRONG SUIT OK?

(actually it is, but that's beside the point)
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