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Author Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles  (Read 287553 times)

CatalystParadox

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #750 on: September 30, 2012, 10:30:50 pm »

Strategia's title should be "No-Legged Prophet of Cheese" now. :P

If you re-check the images, you'll see I changed it to "Legless Prophet of Cheese"

Also, I'd like to point out we now have a corpulent, legless dwarf who calls herself a prophet, dragging herself all around the fortress, going about her business, including working on the farms and so forth, all while carrying a baby.  A baby which they have inexplicably named overseer, no less.

I'm thinking of coming up with an explanation for why this journal is written in the name of an infant... and also possibly continuing this new trend of audio logs with my final update.  All in favor?
« Last Edit: September 30, 2012, 10:33:30 pm by CatalystParadox »
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

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I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

ThatAussieGuy

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #751 on: September 30, 2012, 10:43:13 pm »

I figured the infant was in charge because everyone else was either dead, insane, or busy doing important things.

Spish

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #752 on: September 30, 2012, 10:55:43 pm »

You should consider making an alternate hatch entrance in a zombie-free area. If the merchant bodyguards can reach it before the zombies, they'll clear the area for the liaison (assuming he doesn't die instantly). I would really like having migrants :[
« Last Edit: October 01, 2012, 12:14:13 am by Spish »
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Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.

Mego

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #753 on: October 01, 2012, 12:44:50 am »

The "body surfing" habit of my dwarf is easy to explain. It's not the dwarf. It's the cats.. They wait until someone who is disposed to be friendly to them arrives, and then the feline hive-mind takes over.

This is probably the most realistic explanation for anything that has happened in these forts.

Ahem...



I believe this is more accurate...

Edit: Increased accuracy by 67%...

This link is now broken, and it makes me sad.

Strategia's title should be "No-Legged Prophet of Cheese" now. :P

If you re-check the images, you'll see I changed it to "Legless Prophet of Cheese"

Also, I'd like to point out we now have a corpulent, legless dwarf who calls herself a prophet, dragging herself all around the fortress, going about her business, including working on the farms and so forth, all while carrying a baby.  A baby which they have inexplicably named overseer, no less.

I'm thinking of coming up with an explanation for why this journal is written in the name of an infant... and also possibly continuing this new trend of audio logs with my final update.  All in favor?

Aye! I may do some audio logs soon. I should maybe work on Ode to Aluonra soon, too, considering I was planning on having it done before Hellcannon ended.

Bates

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #754 on: October 01, 2012, 05:20:34 am »

Am I the only one that finds it amusing that the fortress is haunted by a ghostly innkeeper with a serial killer name?

If I can't terrorize the other dwarves while I'm alive, I'll just do it as a ghost then.
No biggie.
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Dinjoralo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #755 on: October 01, 2012, 04:40:59 pm »

If I can't terrorize the other dwarves while I'm alive, I'll just do it as a ghost then.
No biggie.
More entertainment for me!
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Mego

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #756 on: October 01, 2012, 07:26:31 pm »

Journal of Mego

I never thought that I would consider the carelessness of one of my fellow dwarves fortunate. Too many times, it has caused catastrophies in the past. But, due to a miner deciding he no longer needing his pickaxe, I was able to escape the aquifer with my life. However, after escaping, I see that death by the aquifer may have been more pleasant than the alternative.

I see them. The tendrils of evil, wrapping themselves around the dwarves, turning them to madness and destruction. One dwarf seems particularly affected. That dwarf is-

Blast it, here he comes! I must hide this journal, lest my life be taken from me by him. If he learns that I know his evil persuasion, the whole fortress may suffer.

End of Journal Entry

This post definitely never referenced dwarves dying.
« Last Edit: October 01, 2012, 08:06:27 pm by Mego »
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CatalystParadox

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #757 on: October 01, 2012, 07:39:51 pm »

Journal of Mego

I never thought that I would consider the death of one of my fellow dwarves fortunate. But, due to a miner no longer needing his pickaxe, I was able to escape the aquifer with my life. However, after escaping, I see that death by the aquifer may have been more pleasant than the alternative.

No one died, actually, a miner just dropped it when I told him to GTFO.
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

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I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #758 on: October 01, 2012, 09:35:16 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Almost missed this gem, request for front page.
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Teneb

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #759 on: October 01, 2012, 09:45:55 pm »

Ok, in order not to clutter the OP (and leave room for the turn list), any op-content will need to be backed by at least 3 people. The image above is still going in.
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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #760 on: October 04, 2012, 01:01:33 pm »

Hello?  Anything still going on here?  Are our few brave dwarves still kicking?  The live ones, I mean.
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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #761 on: October 04, 2012, 01:32:42 pm »

Hello?  Anything still going on here?  Are our few brave dwarves still kicking?  The live ones, I mean.

The crickets are having a party in the dining room.

Spish

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #762 on: October 04, 2012, 02:36:46 pm »

Still waiting "patiently" for my turn :-\
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Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.

CatalystParadox

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #763 on: October 04, 2012, 03:05:50 pm »

Final turn commencing right now, just a couple months to go.

Let's review our cast of characters, shall we?  In no particular order...

Catalyst, Dwarven Baby, inexplicably selected as overseer and somehow producing a journal.
Newbunkle, Mad Prophet, currently a miner and a very skilled gemcutter/jeweler.  Missing an arm.
Strategia, Prophet of Cheese, missing both legs, dragging herself around the fort carrying Catalyst, farming and hauling.
Volfgarix, brewer, socially awkward but tireless.
Saint, badass ranger, currently miner, who actually fought the undead hordes and lived.
Reason, legendary miner.  "In a constant state of internal rage," yet "often cheerful," and "would rather intimidate others than negotiate with them."
Mego, Excellent Mason, and therefore probably our most important dwarf.  Frequently depressed.
Deathsword, miner and butcher.  Has a dead spouse.  Just decided to make him Chief Medical also.
armageddonCounselor, farmer, stonecrafter, and the closest thing we have to a doctor.
Urist Imiknorriss, minor miner and skilled mechanist.  Doesn't care what anyone thinks.
NCommander, farmer and animal trainer.  Very creative.

Also, I just noticed we have TWO new babies!  I am not sure why I missed the announcement.  Who will claim them?

Erib Blotgorges - son of Reason and Volfgarix, very flimsy and quick to tire, but has a great affinity for language, great empathy, a lot of willpower.  Bad focus.  Likes platinum, gems, and bumblebee mead.

Lor Windringed - son of Ncommander and Mego, indefatigueable, great creativity, iffy memory, poor empathy, atrocious spatial sense.  Likes bronze, gabbro, and panda men.
« Last Edit: October 04, 2012, 03:10:32 pm by CatalystParadox »
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

LordSlowpoke

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #764 on: October 04, 2012, 03:07:26 pm »

I'll gladly claim one and make sure it doesn't survive into the next spring.
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