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Author Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles  (Read 322242 times)

NCommander

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #870 on: October 14, 2012, 10:11:58 am »

Um ... wow.

First, I'm actually someone who killed something in a Battlefailed fort instead of running around aimlessly, earned a nickname, and mistakenly used their kid as their hammer, and gets a nickname that fits? Awesome.

Secondly, a fell mood? Those are really rare, I've only ever gotten one ever. I'm surprised they haven't killed their target yet.

Third, I suppose its rather apt that you really assigned redshirts to our military.

(though where are we growing red dye, its an aboveground crop unless you got lucky with the elves.)
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Teneb

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #871 on: October 14, 2012, 10:22:18 am »

Secondly, a fell mood? Those are really rare, I've only ever gotten one ever. I'm surprised they haven't killed their target yet.

Go back and re-read the update. You'll see Andreus is now a proud dwarf bone axe.
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Mego

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #872 on: October 14, 2012, 07:48:49 pm »

Secondly, a fell mood? Those are really rare, I've only ever gotten one ever. I'm surprised they haven't killed their target yet.

Go back and re-read the update. You'll see Andreus is now a proud dwarf bone axe.

So... Does he get a redwarfing from that, or will he continue to exist as an entity inside of the axe??

"HEY STUZO! ANDREUS WANTS TO AXE YOU A QUESTION!"

Teneb

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #873 on: October 14, 2012, 08:48:22 pm »

Secondly, a fell mood? Those are really rare, I've only ever gotten one ever. I'm surprised they haven't killed their target yet.

Go back and re-read the update. You'll see Andreus is now a proud dwarf bone axe.

So... Does he get a redwarfing from that, or will he continue to exist as an entity inside of the axe??

"HEY STUZO! ANDREUS WANTS TO AXE YOU A QUESTION!"

Someone needs to find Andreus and inform him of this event.
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What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?
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Does a Laconian believe they descend from Achilles? Does an anon believe a greentext happened? Does a child believe in air? We choose the fake news we want. The eternal memri.tv

CatalystParadox

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #874 on: October 14, 2012, 10:59:57 pm »

Secondly, a fell mood? Those are really rare, I've only ever gotten one ever. I'm surprised they haven't killed their target yet.

Go back and re-read the update. You'll see Andreus is now a proud dwarf bone axe.

So... Does he get a redwarfing from that, or will he continue to exist as an entity inside of the axe??

"HEY STUZO! ANDREUS WANTS TO AXE YOU A QUESTION!"

Someone needs to find Andreus and inform him of this event.

Wait, Stuzo?  Who's Stuzo?  Did I miss something?
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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #875 on: October 14, 2012, 11:28:25 pm »

Secondly, a fell mood? Those are really rare, I've only ever gotten one ever. I'm surprised they haven't killed their target yet.

Go back and re-read the update. You'll see Andreus is now a proud dwarf bone axe.

So... Does he get a redwarfing from that, or will he continue to exist as an entity inside of the axe??

"HEY STUZO! ANDREUS WANTS TO AXE YOU A QUESTION!"

Someone needs to find Andreus and inform him of this event.

Wait, Stuzo?  Who's Stuzo?  Did I miss something?

In one of the big succession forts from 31.25 (I don't remember which), the huge majority of goblins were named Stozu. I meant to type Stozu instead of Stuzo, but I failed to press the correct keys.

Strategia

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #876 on: October 15, 2012, 12:32:39 am »

Secondly, a fell mood? Those are really rare, I've only ever gotten one ever. I'm surprised they haven't killed their target yet.

Go back and re-read the update. You'll see Andreus is now a proud dwarf bone axe.

So... Does he get a redwarfing from that, or will he continue to exist as an entity inside of the axe??

"HEY STUZO! ANDREUS WANTS TO AXE YOU A QUESTION!"

Someone needs to find Andreus and inform him of this event.

Wait, Stuzo?  Who's Stuzo?  Did I miss something?

In one of the big succession forts from 31.25 (I don't remember which), the huge majority of goblins were named Stozu. I meant to type Stozu instead of Stuzo, but I failed to press the correct keys.

That was either Battlefailed or Failcannon, I think Failcannon.

ThatAussieGuy

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #877 on: October 15, 2012, 12:40:09 am »

Andreus' next incarnation needs to be an axedwarf given that bone axe.  Clearly any who hold it are possessed by his foul spirit.

Mego

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #878 on: October 15, 2012, 01:05:08 am »

Andreus' next incarnation needs to be an axedwarf given that bone axe.  Clearly any who hold it are possessed by his foul spirit.

So the bone axe is now SCP-963?

Johuotar

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #879 on: October 15, 2012, 02:13:05 am »

Identical goblins were in battlefailed iirc.
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CatalystParadox

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #880 on: October 15, 2012, 04:23:58 am »

Secondly, a fell mood? Those are really rare, I've only ever gotten one ever. I'm surprised they haven't killed their target yet.

Go back and re-read the update. You'll see Andreus is now a proud dwarf bone axe.

So... Does he get a redwarfing from that, or will he continue to exist as an entity inside of the axe??

"HEY STUZO! ANDREUS WANTS TO AXE YOU A QUESTION!"

Someone needs to find Andreus and inform him of this event.

Wait, Stuzo?  Who's Stuzo?  Did I miss something?

In one of the big succession forts from 31.25 (I don't remember which), the huge majority of goblins were named Stozu. I meant to type Stozu instead of Stuzo, but I failed to press the correct keys.

That was either Battlefailed or Failcannon, I think Failcannon.

Ahh okay, definitely did not remember that.  Thanks!

Yeah, I'm basically just playing pyramid-quote-chicken, now.
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Gizogin

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #881 on: October 15, 2012, 07:54:39 am »

Hmm, I've been feeling a bit down lately, what with the gratuitous injuries to my person.  I know what'll cheer me up!  Murder.  Oh, but now I have a body to hide.  Ooh, I'll turn it into an axe!  It's brilliant!
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arcangelsd

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #882 on: October 15, 2012, 11:48:00 am »

I'm the only one that feels the urge of leaving that bone axe in the evil part of the map?
I can only dream of having an axe for an overseer.
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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #883 on: October 15, 2012, 01:22:32 pm »

I'm the only one that feels the urge of leaving that bone axe in the evil part of the map?
I can only dream of having an axe for an overseer.

Would . . . would that work?  I thought that once the body was butchered, no reanimating would take place.  If it would really work, then that's brilliant!
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Spish

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #884 on: October 15, 2012, 03:00:24 pm »

Meanwhile, back in Horrorfailed...

A wizard on a watchtower getting divebombed in the crotch by an undead bird. Just your average day in Horrorfailed.

It is around this point that lil' Catalyst brings to my attention the fact that Nexusv might be a vampire...
...yeah I can't argue with that. Really, "The History of Inrus" is all the proof I need; the guy cursed a lot of vampires. And it even mentions a familiar face in there.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I have Nex locked away in the library for now, I'll decide what to do with her later.

In other news:
Nexusv, Zärtlich Vampir (Loving Vampire), is no longer allowed to cook and has been replaced by Silverlock for the time being.
Dorfitron has been promoted to head surgeon, since he is "totally not a robot" and has a perfect understanding of the fish dwarf anatomy.
With the caverns now open, Tasrak is in charge of web-collecting duty. Watch out for them trolls Taz.
Since I just noticed GoombaGeek's post on the first page, I have drafted him as a hammerdwarf (later). After all, hammer-brokers are the best kind to have when the elves come around.

Hey guys, we've just caught our first wild beastie...

The one cage trap I place in the caverns and right off the bat it captures a giant cave spider? How the hell am I getting so lucky!?

Migrants! 8 of them! And boy did they pick a great place to show up...

I open up the airlock entrance (which by the way is fixed now), station the Rough Crotch-Pinnacles on the tower to keep the entrance area clear, and try to get them inside. Only a lone clothier by the name of Arcangelsd manages to make it into the airlock, before the zombie titan chasing her clogs it up...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Our marksdwarves open fire upon the beast, but despite landing some impressive shots are completely unable to stop it from making its way inside.

Uno has taken up residence in the main entrance and is presently busy admiring a fine door. Now the airlock is blocked and migrants can't get in. Every now and then Uno will chase a migrant off, but always immediately goes back to ogling his doors. If we're going to get them inside (alive at least), we're gonna have to kill that thing. Welp, I rally the Rags of Breath in the old meeting room and prepare them for gloriosu combat.

Ash suddenly decides that this is the perfect time for a nap and leaves the formation. There is no way I am fighting that thing without a redshirt (because fuck that), so I hold off on the attack for now.

Many dead migrants later, the redshirt returns from her nap. And as the Rags of Breath prepare to do battle with the great periwinkle beast, I notice someone else head off in the opposite direction...

ZERATUUUL! To hell with it, there are only two surviving migrants left on the surface. We're doing this!
...

This was a terrible idea. You can see here that for whatever reason Rridgway opted to go to the room directly adjacent to the fight instead of joining in. Glitch or no, that was probably the smart thing to do.
NCommander is the first to engage, followed closely by Deathsword.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
NC doesn't even manage a single hit off before Uno starts laying into him. Somehow, Deathsword's baby gets involved, taking a few hits that otherwise likely would've killed NC. The baby delivers one final kick in defiance to the gods.
R.I.P. baby I never got around to naming. At the very least you went out like a badass.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Uno returns his attention to the wounded commander, but is intercepted by Ash the Redshirt, giving NC just enough time to crawl away to safety. The two remaining fighters have at the the titan with everything they've got. From here, it doesn't take long for things to get ugly...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
R.I.P. Ashsaber, who gave her life so that her commander may live. Died of a broken heart.
With things rapidly escalating out of control, I order the marksdwarves to come down from the watchtower and help, in hopes that they will save Deathsword in the process. Instead, they continue to occupy themselves shooting randomly at zombies while everyone's favorite butcher gets torn to pieces below.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
R.I.P. Deathsword, whose screams of agony went ignored by his comrades. Died of a missing head.

At this point I've decided it's hopeless and am about to call off the attack, when suddenly rridgway teleports into the room in a mad suicide rush.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Alas, for surely she is doomed!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
But no, literally out of nowhere Dark_T_Zeratul shows up, well rested and ready to kick some zombie titan ass. Singlehandedly he dukes it with the creature as rrid weakly tries to crawl away. And it FINALLY goes down. WOO. Another for the collection.

A named elf zombie shambles in and tries to get at rriddy, but Zeratul quickly takes care of it. NC is taken to the hospital by Reason, while the baby Dinjoralo is left behind on the scene.

...hey commander, forgetting someone?

Fortunately, they are quickly reunited as NC only spends a few days in the hospital. Apparently severed limbs aren't that serious...

With the entrance clear, the only two surviving migrants are free to enter. Kaamen makes her way inside, followed by Jorlin being pursued by a terrifying menace.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Anyways, time to meet the migrants:
Arcangelsd, a clothier who is outclassed in pretty much every way by Tasrak, therefore replacing him as web gatherer.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Kaamen, another ranger. Like EmeraldWind, great at all sorts of ranger-related stuff. Added to Saint's shooter squad.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Jorlin, an overweight farmer who managed to outrun the zombies all this time despite being, well, fat. Welcome to the Rags of Breath, Pigsticker.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This was an absolutely pathetic migrant wave. I can't believe I sacrificed half our military for these guys...

After all that death and craziness, I decide we really can't afford to lose anyone to vampires. I kick Nexusv outside with the instructions "Build Your Own Damn Fortress" and order her to haul all the merchantstuffs she can find to the airlock while she's at it. But Nexus, unhappy with these arrangements, demands a blood sacrifice and refuses to do anything I tell her, instead opting to sulk around aimlessly on the surface.

I'll probably end up sacrificing someone in the next migrant wave if I can't figure out an alternative solution.


Our second mood of the year. Mego is already a legendary mason, so we won't be gaining much from this. Nonetheless I intend to make the most of it...

Oh no you don't!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Rridgway, is having a very bad day. [face_poet]
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Oh stop it you drama queen.

Behold, Mego's finished artifact:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
A recursive artifact door worth over 70000 dwarfbucks, which is more expensive than the entire fortress itself! If this doesn't attract migrants/goblins I don't know what will. I'm not sure where to put this thing, so I'll just make it the front door for now.
Mego sure likes his Gizogins.

Thus concludeth the summer report. We currently number at 31 (not counting crazy old rridgway).
Man this post was a mess...


Third, I suppose its rather apt that you really assigned redshirts to our military.

(though where are we growing red dye, its an aboveground crop unless you got lucky with the elves.)
Lucky would be an understatement. There are so many dead elves and redroot bags lying around I don't know what to do with them.
But we don't actually own any red shirts. Or shirts for that matter. That was just something I included for flavor.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2012, 02:44:28 am by Spish »
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Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.
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