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Author Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles  (Read 322238 times)

Vgray

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #885 on: October 15, 2012, 03:20:50 pm »

Lovely. Trolls are the worst...my Dwarf is dead.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #886 on: October 15, 2012, 03:39:52 pm »

Yup, everything is perfectly normal here.

But hey, you got a silk factory captured either way!

Also, I curse at myself for forgetting to re-add the symbol for all those "untoward" words Toady removed that I for whatever reason kept anyway.
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"THEN CAME TOBNOM, ASS-GOD".
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Dinjoralo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #887 on: October 15, 2012, 03:54:24 pm »

Nice to see things are going to hell and getting better at the same time. No, those don't cancel each other out. They both kinda have their own individual parts.
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Strategia

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #888 on: October 15, 2012, 04:23:32 pm »

Nice to see things are going to hell and getting better at the same time. No, those don't cancel each other out. They both kinda have their own individual parts.

In other words, the fortress is still Battlefaileding. :P

StLeibowitz

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #889 on: October 15, 2012, 04:36:13 pm »

I am glad my dwarf's squad was not chosen for door duty. This fort gets the oddest guests...
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Generally, when one is conducting an experiment, it is worth noting that the observers went insane, killed each other, and then rose from the dead.
It's like DF inhaled a peanut.

Mego

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #890 on: October 15, 2012, 04:42:14 pm »

With the entrance clear, the only two surviving migrants are free to enter. Kaamen makes her way inside, followed by Jorlin being chased by a terrifying entity.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[snip]


Our second mood of the year. Mego is already a legendary mason, so we won't be gaining much from this. Nonetheless I intend to make the most of it...

Oh no you don't!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[snip]

Behold, Mego's finished artifact:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
A recursive artifact door worth over 70000 dwarfbucks, which is more than the entire fortress itself! If this doesn't attract migrants/goblins I don't know what will. I'm not sure where to put this thing, so I'll just make it the front door for now.
Mego really likes his Gizogins.

Journal of Mego's Head

Those fuckers tried to shoot me with a copper bolt. Little do they know that I am IMMUNE TO PHYSICAL DAMAGE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Journal of Mego

So many ideas... Must make the image in my head real... Stone... Stone is good... ALL THE STONE!

What's this? Spish is trying to trade me adamantine for my preciouses... INCONCEIVABLE! I MUST USE MY PRECIOUSES!




DOOR! DOOR DOOR DOOR DOOR! GIZOGIN! GIZOGIN DOOR! GIZOGIN DOOR WITH GIZOGIN DOOR! YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!

Dark_T_Zeratul

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #891 on: October 15, 2012, 05:24:16 pm »

Hooray, I am a badass!
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The miasma caused Sethrist to go miserable and throw a tantrum. During the tantrum he mauled a dog to near-death and that caused his mood to go all the way up to content. Apparently, beating the crap out of dogs is the best way to achieve happiness.

CatalystParadox

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #892 on: October 15, 2012, 06:15:34 pm »


Oh no you don't!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh... I feel dumb now.  I didn't actually realize you could steer what materials a moody dwarf uses by forbidding things.

Today I learned something very, very useful.
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

Mr Space Cat

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #893 on: October 15, 2012, 06:25:40 pm »

Well, I'm glad I haven't been dorfed yet now.  That titan zombie fight sounded quite horrifyingly failed.
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Made a new account that I use instead of this one. Don't message this one, I'm probably not gonna use it.

New account: Spehss _

Dinjoralo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #894 on: October 15, 2012, 06:31:21 pm »

I just realized, that golden door is going to be the first thing migrants are going to see of the fortress proper, right? Well, that's certainly not symbolic, in any way, shape, or form. Nope, not at all.
Also, why does it say there's an image of a "badass" Gizogin? Did this game suddenly join a gang when I wasn't looking?
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Eric Blank

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #895 on: October 15, 2012, 06:46:32 pm »

It says that because I added "Gizogin", among other important historical figures from the battlefailed series of fortresses, to a descriptor shapes file. And one of the possible adjectives I gave his descriptor shape was "badass." He actually got two entries;

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This is in direct relation to the manner in which he died, as Failcannon's last-dwarf-standing: I ordered him to retreat from a horde of kobolds, and his idea was "Why don't I throw off all my ☼adamantine armor☼ and ☼weapons☼ and go streaking for a while? Nothing bad could ever come of that!"

So he ran back to his room and stayed there for a while until I said fuck it and ordered him to enter the fray once more. Turns out kobold women react EVEN WORSE than human women when some wacko jumps them in his birthday suit. He didn't last very long at all.
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"THEN CAME TOBNOM, ASS-GOD".
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Mego

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #896 on: October 15, 2012, 07:19:49 pm »

Turns out kobold women react EVEN WORSE than human women when some wacko jumps them in his birthday suit.

I can attest to the reaction of human women. How do you know that?

CatalystParadox

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #897 on: October 15, 2012, 07:33:32 pm »

Oh nice... I just realized the huge advantage to having an artifact front door - if I'm not mistaken artifact doors are the exception to building destroyers!  Not only a beautiful way to attract migrants - but a relatively safe way of getting them inside!
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

Mego

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #898 on: October 15, 2012, 07:34:35 pm »

Oh nice... I just realized the huge advantage to having an artifact front door - if I'm not mistaken artifact doors are the exception to building destroyers!  Not only a beautiful way to attract migrants - but a relatively safe way of getting them inside!

I told you guys I was useful!

Eric Blank

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell (BATTLEFAILED 4) - Beware the Aussie
« Reply #899 on: October 15, 2012, 07:39:00 pm »

Turns out kobold women react EVEN WORSE than human women when some wacko jumps them in his birthday suit.

I can attest to the reaction of human women. How do you know that?

Sadly, I'm not exactly brave enough to try that... But I'm pretty sure they wouldn't whip out a +iron short sword+ and lodge it in your chest.
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"THEN CAME TOBNOM, ASS-GOD".
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.
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