Wow you guys are patient. If I was the one waiting I'd probably be yelling at myself by now. I'm sure there's some stuff I forgot here, but I'll edit it in later if I remember.
Oh dear, wonder what the damage is this time...
Despite the fact that his arm has been replaced with a fountain of blood, he just continues drinking his booze like nothing happened. He doesn't care that he just got his arm ripped off, he doesn't even bother going to the hospital afterwards, just finishes his beer and then grabs himself a roast to satisfy that "hungry" status of his.
Rock on, DevilEd.
I resurrect his arm as a zombie and stuff it in a cage just for the hell of it. Fun fact: here we can see that violent ghosts not only sever limbs, but mangle and shred them up in the process. Neato.
Gentlemen, behold!
Worth 32400 urists. And what a positively dwarfy sounding name.
So, Volgarix, now when you inevitably die a painful and humiliating Horrorfailed death, you'll at least be able to say you contributed something unique to the fortress.
Dinjoralo is well on his way to finally becoming a useful member of society... or is he?
Literally, moments later...
First of all, how do you die from a broken leg? Second of all, WHY DID THIS HAPPEN!?
R.I.P. Dinjoralo. Small children and stonefall traps don't mix.
Aussie and Kar soon follow suit (minus the dying part).
Sounds cool, right? But this may actually be the most pathetic forgotten beast I've ever seen. It literally fell over just from Andreus opening the door...
seriously. And it never got back up after that. Really, the combat log isn't even worth mentioning, just a bunch of dudes beating on a giant scorpion for several days straight.
Meanwhile... Zeratul throws what seems like his 50th tantrum. The guy has been so pissed off ever since the zombie titan fiasco. Maybe he finds the idea of keeping zombie beasts in the fortress morally questionable, I guess.
...or maybe he just
hates our guts. Zeratul proceeds to eviscerate the first dwarf he can find.
Who happens to be resident woodmaster DevilEd.
Zeratul finishes the job by splitting his skull open.
R.I.P. DevilEd. At least we'll always have your severed arm to remember you by.
Before Zeratul can murder armageddonCounselor's dog, the Rough Crotch Pinnacles arrive and pump him full of copper. Then GoombaGeek shows up out of nowhere, smashes his head in, and runs off to join the "battle" with the forgotten beast.
R.I.P. Dark_T_Zeratul.
True badasses don't murder their comrades in cold blood!
Back in the caves, Tryrar scores the killing blow by virtue of being a speardwarf. It's a shame nobody got stung, I was hoping we'd get to see that poison in action (especially if it was Andreus). This thing probably wouldn't even make a decent zombie, but I'm adding it to the collection regardless.
Another one... already? Well, I've never fought a web spitter before, and there are only a few weeks left in the year, so I might leave this one for Eric to deal with cause I just want to get this turn over with.
Yup, just gonna wall it off. I'll have the Rags of Breath stationed here just in case.
Ah crap.
Deathsword, being the only one on-time for work, is caught off guard and webbed by the creature. Then it ninja-grabs him and snaps his arm like a twig.
Smug quickly finishes him off by pecking his brains out.
R.I.P. Deathsword. Assassinated by giant quail.
Jorlin shows up moments later and doesn't even have time to react before getting her head eaten.
R.I.P. Jorlin. Rounded that corner and got a head full of dead.
Pasmug then proceeds up the stairs where he is interecepted by GoombaGeek and Andreus. Smug just stomps on Goomba's head until it's nothing but a bloody pulp.
R.I.P GoombaGeek. Darn it, now we need a new broker!
And Eric needs a new family.
Kaamen, the first of Saint's squaddies to arrive on the scene, fires just one shot at the creature before successfully drawing its attention away from Andreus.
R.I.P Kaamen. Should've waited for back-up.
By this point Smug has situated himself by the main staircase on the meeting hall floor (
pictured here). Status update for all dwarves currently alive:
Tryrar and NCommander, both asleep on the job, which is probably the only reason they're still alive..
Strategia, SignHere, Phlum, Tasrak, and Catalyst are down by the forges, cut off from the rest of the fortress.
Urist Imiknorris, Clover Magic, and Eric, are On Break and presently chilling in the meeting hall.
EmeraldWind is busy scrounging for ammo.
Aussie is way up top during all this... "planting crops."
Everyone else is at the central staircase, in immediate danger of having their head pecked off and/or trapped in an endless torrent of web.
Except this guy. I bet Gizogin is just laughing it up in the hospital right now.
The creature finds itself face to face with a dwarf. A perfect dwarf, an unbeatable machine, hell-bent on destroying every evil standing between dwarf and freedom...
...DAMN IT.
R.I.P. Megaman. Weakness: Web Shot.
aC's dog is finally put out of its misery. Pasmug then turns its attention to the Andreus and starts kicking him around like the football he is. It's around this point that Saint and Spishaban arrive on the scene and start firing away from a
reasonably safe distance (I know, crazy right?).
Somehow, Silverlock gets involved in all this, and ends up on the receiving end of a deadly crane kick that sends him spinning through the air.
R.I.P. Silverlock. Innocent bystanders always get the worst of it.
Yet again it goes after Andreus, I'm actually amazed he's still alive at this point. It could be because he keeps getting launched back and other dwarves keep getting in the way.
Newbunkle jumps in brandishing his pick and tries to help out. This has predictable results.
R.I.P. Newbunkle, my ex-favorite dwarf. Yet another victim of Smug's evil brainpecking tendencies.
While the creature is once again distracted with Adenrus, Reason, out of bolts, thinks he can sneak up on 'ol Papa Smug from below. Bad idea...
Reason is dead, my friends. Crossbowdwarf + Forgotten Beast - Ammo = Death.
Next on the menu... it's Kar Puwuncobi!
...ouch. He... survived that somehow. But if I recall correctly, broken skulls will never heal, so it looks like Kar may be spending the rest of his life in the hospital after this.
Andreus almost survives the fight... almost. But just before Saint and I manage to cripple the creature, Andy loses both lungs and slowly suffocates to death.
Spishaban took out its leg, and Saint, wielding Gor Duz, was the one to land the paralyzing shot. This is pretty much where the tide turns.
Problem is, we just can't seem to kill it. The thing is just spraying out webbing non-stop, Saint and I are running low on ammo, and almost everyone else is caught in web. It seems there is no end in sight.
R.I.P. Andreus II by the way. Now let us make way for Andreus III!
But lo, Tryrar has risen! He gains a perfect angle on the beast and...
(what is it with you and biting things?)
The great quail "Pasmug Coastseas the Boat of God" is no more. And we only lost a third of our population in the process! That's... that's considered a victory here... right?
NCommander is STILL ASLEEP. Good show commander, basically everyone in your squad is dead now.
I feel bad for the kid. His parents (one of whom is now dead) were always talking him up to be the future presidente, but now he's doomed to be a vegetable instead. Kar, you want us to pull the plug, just say the word.
And I could not be happier to be done with this place. Now that I no longer has to worry about overseersy business, I can go back to cleaning the floors (that oh-so desperately need cleaning right now)
The very instant it turns the First of Granite, Gizogin suddenly rises from his hospital bed and goes to clean himself.
...no health problems, eh? You goddamn faker!
Fort Summary:
Dorves...
Status...
I have no idea where all that money came from. Must be the adamantine, I guess.
Download:
http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=7066I really didn't make nearly as many physical additions to the fortress as I wanted to. There was just too much crazy shit going on for me to focus on that.
-The minecart system was scrapped because I couldn't even figure out how to get dwarves to use it.
If too unsightly, you can smooth over the aborted tracks to get rid of them.
-Eric succeeds GoombaGeek as broker. Fortunately I had planned ahead and trained him in Appraisal knowing Goombs would kick the bucket soon.
-With no other fitting candidates, Spishaban is sheriff for the time being. At some point my dorf earned the title "The Mountainous Tenacity of Earth." Not a very fitting name for a crime-fighting janitor, if you ask me.
-Arcangelsd is the new manager, not really much else to say about that.
-Moved Saint and company over to the Reputed Rims because I got tired of saying "Rough Crotch-Pinnacles" all the time.
- We have captured quite a few beasties from the caverns below. Most notably that giant cave spider from earlier (seriously that thing is awesome) who has been pastured at the front door as our greeter. EmeraldWind is our head animal trainer.
-There are quite a lot more zombies than when I last pointed them out. Have fun.
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Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles (Read 550907 times)