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Author Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles  (Read 555003 times)

LordSlowpoke

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - On the Edge of Pandemonium
« Reply #1215 on: December 19, 2012, 04:20:42 pm »

3rd Slate, 510

Today is the day when Strategia has been found dead. The fact she was dead was pretty obvious for a good week now, but nobody bothered report it until there suddenly was a corpse in the dining room generating miasma. I love this fortress.

In other news, I have recruited Gizogin as an aide; while she won't be of much use when doing the nonexistent paperwork with that hand existence problem of hers, it's nice to have a loyalist for once. Perhaps more will come later? I will make sure that the next migrant wave is screened properly. If they come. Construction of an adamantine statue has been ordered, we'll place it at the main gates and it should work just fine. It's like biscuits of dwarven beer and syrup for a child.

As part of raising my legitimacy as this fortresses supreme ruler, I have just about halted every non-essential task and set my sights on ensuring the caverns are properly walled off, the more frequented areas smoothed, and statues erected. We had our primary staircase wide open, apparently secured by a door that was jammed by a corpse of something-or-another. Area turned into small cavern observation deck, already appreciated by a so-called Fath despite not being fully furnished.

A new well is currently under construction, featuring four separate shafts, a high-and-low pressure input area, and for the moment, nothing else. The chief medical dwarf cites hygienic issues related to the water at the bottom of the previous shaft going stale as a primary reason.

That is much for a month, and just enough. We've got what, only a year? to abolish this darned custom. I will be speaking with my comrades from the Rags of Breath soon, and later with the Baron. Soon we shall know results.
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Spish

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - On the Edge of Pandemonium
« Reply #1216 on: December 25, 2012, 04:05:51 pm »

Oi, guys, why is the thread dead all the sudden? And when was the last time the TV tropes page was updated?
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Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.

Eric Blank

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - On the Edge of Pandemonium
« Reply #1217 on: December 25, 2012, 07:58:44 pm »

Blame the holidays. Blood and gore and zombies just isn't in the Christmas spirit :P
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Strategia

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - On the Edge of Pandemonium
« Reply #1218 on: December 25, 2012, 08:06:30 pm »

Blood and gore and zombies just isn't in the Christmas spirit :P

Who are you and what have you done with Eric? :P

Teneb

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Merry Failmas
« Reply #1219 on: December 25, 2012, 08:09:29 pm »

Blood and gore and zombies just isn't in the Christmas spirit :P

Who are you and what have you done with Eric?

Quick, someone get a vampire over here. I think we finally got ThatAussieGuy.


Anyway, I think that a break until around 4 or 5 of january is needed.
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Monstrous Manual: D&D in DF
Quote from: Tack
What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?

IcepickTrotsky

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Merry Failmas
« Reply #1220 on: December 26, 2012, 03:48:27 am »

Well, what a delicious trainwreck we have here.

Requesting dorfing, as I have absolutely no illusions about my lack of ability to keep a fort like this running.

Balnash (M) or Balna (F), speardorf and brewer, if possible.

Cheers, and keep up the good work, I'll be watching and adding bits of flavor if I arrive at this hellhole.
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Dinjoralo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Merry Failmas
« Reply #1221 on: December 26, 2012, 09:34:19 pm »

Blood and gore and zombies just isn't in the Christmas spirit :P

Who are you and what have you done with Eric?

Quick, someone get a vampire over here. I think we finally got ThatAussieGuy.
Wait, we're turning Aussie into a vampire? I don't want no vamps in this fort. They Killed My Father.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Merry Failmas
« Reply #1222 on: December 27, 2012, 01:04:37 am »

Looks like I have to change my password!

Nope, definitely didn't discredit "blood and gore and zombies" as "un-christmas-y." Especially since it would be rather hypocritical given the trail of death and destruction I left in my wake throughout various video games. None of which were competetive FPS games, except maybe Halo 4. And then half of the blood and corpses were mine. I'm terrible at competetive games.
« Last Edit: December 27, 2012, 01:06:09 am by Eric Blank »
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Teneb

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Merry Failmas
« Reply #1223 on: December 27, 2012, 09:22:23 am »

Blood and gore and zombies just isn't in the Christmas spirit :P

Who are you and what have you done with Eric?

Quick, someone get a vampire over here. I think we finally got ThatAussieGuy.
Wait, we're turning Aussie into a vampire? I don't want no vamps in this fort. They Killed My Father.
I didn't say that. What I meant is that if we have any shot at killing TAG, it's by draining all his blood.
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Monstrous Manual: D&D in DF
Quote from: Tack
What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?

Spish

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Merry Failmas
« Reply #1224 on: December 27, 2012, 05:31:27 pm »

Anyway, I think that a break until around 4 or 5 of january is needed.
Are you sure that's necessary? I mean, it's already been a week since we last heard from him.
« Last Edit: December 27, 2012, 07:40:18 pm by Spish »
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Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.

Teneb

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Merry Failmas
« Reply #1225 on: December 27, 2012, 07:16:13 pm »

College calculus blah blah, it's called copypaste and it takes 5 seconds.
Rhyme - Axedwarf - Soul Eater
It's been two months since he made that request.
I won't make any excuses for this one. I simply outright missed it and it fills me with shame.
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Monstrous Manual: D&D in DF
Quote from: Tack
What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?

CatalystParadox

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Merry Failmas
« Reply #1226 on: December 27, 2012, 10:45:44 pm »

College calculus blah blah, it's called copypaste and it takes 5 seconds.
Rhyme - Axedwarf - Soul Eater
It's been two months since he made that request.
I won't make any excuses for this one. I simply outright missed it and it fills me with shame.

*Hands Deathsword his Tanto and cloth*

You know what to do.
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My proud turn in Failcannon | Uzolnom - "Oiledgod"

Quote from: Mego
I opened up the Unread Replies page and saw that you were the last poster. I got scared. Something about you posting scares me, ever since Failcannon.

Strategia

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Merry Failmas
« Reply #1227 on: December 27, 2012, 11:10:32 pm »

College calculus blah blah, it's called copypaste and it takes 5 seconds.
Rhyme - Axedwarf - Soul Eater
It's been two months since he made that request.
I won't make any excuses for this one. I simply outright missed it and it fills me with shame.

*Hands Deathsword his Tanto and cloth*

You know what to do.

Tanto and cloth? I think you mean magma floodgate and lever. We are Dwarves after all.

LordSlowpoke

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Merry Failmas
« Reply #1228 on: December 28, 2012, 09:43:17 am »

alright guys i pretty much ruined a whole z-level

and the "shit let's make a flash update" thing isn't happening, glad i didn't even announce it

4th Hematite, 510

A child just happened to withdraw from society. And hijack a craftdwarfs workshop nobody used.

And then our BaronCOUNT barricaded himself in the old well for whatever inane reason.

Adamantine statue cancelled due to Gizogin being Armokdamned proactive about making sure there's enough cloth for suturing, just about sabotaging the ore-to-wafer process.

Presidential Cave Cascade Program currently being processed. On that note, we recently had a kobold thief. Its blood makes for good ink, they say, I don't think it's any better than a dog's.
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Bates

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Merry Failmas
« Reply #1229 on: December 28, 2012, 10:20:25 am »

Nope, definitely didn't discredit "blood and gore and zombies" as "un-christmas-y." Especially since it would be rather hypocritical given the trail of death and destruction I left in my wake throughout various video games. None of which were competetive FPS games, except maybe Halo 4. And then half of the blood and corpses were mine. I'm terrible at competetive games.

You should try Chivalry.
Then you could *REALLY* paint the world red with your own corpses and entrails!  ;D
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