Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 95 96 [97] 98 99 ... 136

Author Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles  (Read 537887 times)

Dark_T_Zeratul

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1440 on: March 15, 2013, 03:39:29 am »

Qwerty, Terrible Artist is now a Bowyer.
Logged
The miasma caused Sethrist to go miserable and throw a tantrum. During the tantrum he mauled a dog to near-death and that caused his mood to go all the way up to content. Apparently, beating the crap out of dogs is the best way to achieve happiness.

Dark_T_Zeratul

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1441 on: March 15, 2013, 03:55:19 am »

1st of Moonstone, 512
I received reports that some of the dwarves stopped setting the new pressure plates because they were scared away by some goblins trying to get into the fortress. I paid it little mind, knowing that they would soon by horribly dead.

Shortly thereafter, I received reports that some of the dwarves were stopping several other tasks because they were scared away by a zombified dwarf that had somehow gotten inside the fortress. While one of our wolves kept it occupied, I cut it in half.

This is why I'm leader: I'm a problem solver.

3rd of Moonstone, 512
Another undead dwarf was spotted inside the fortress. This one caved in another wolf's skull before myself, EmeraldWind, and a macedwarf put it down for good. I need to figure out how they're getting inside, and stop it.

In other news, the first wolf is beginning to rot away. I've ordered it slaughtered for our own good, and to put it out of its misery.

4th of Moonstone, 512
So it turns out that when I ordered the dwarves to sell the caged undead and assorted monsters to the traders, they were unable to grasp the concept of selling the creature inside of the cage along with it, which resulted in four zombie dwarves, a skeletal ogre and a troglodyte running rampant in the fortress. Apart from the two zombie dwarves we had already caught and killed:
*Megaman3321 shot one crossbow bolt at the troglodyte, hitting it in the hand, then wandered off. It passed out from the pain shortly thereafter, but woke up when the skeletal ogre started wailing on it. It managed to get away when El Presidente Kar Puwuncobi assaulted the ogre with her silver warhammer, then passed out again. After the unconscious, mangled troglodyte scared off a few of the less hardy dwarves, Ledi calmly walked up and sank her battleaxe into its skull. El Presidente, meanwhile, got bored of smashing the skeleton with her warhammer and instead CHEWED APART ITS SPINE.
*The third zombie dwarf tried to eat EmeraldWind, but she sank two bolts into its body, two into its legs, and one into its forehead. Despite having a crossbow bolt lodged firmly in its brain, it still didn't die until after she shot it two more times in the arm.
*The fourth zombie dwarf managed to badly wound two more wolves before Deathsword hacked it apart with his sword. As they've already begun rotting and vomiting, I've ordered them slaughtered as well.

7th of Moonstone, 512
Uh oh. It turns out there was another skeletal ogre we didn't notice. EmeraldWind tried to kill it, too, but she was so exhausted from her last fight that she failed to dodge one of its attacks and got her hand torn off. The rest of The Rags of Breath hurried to her rescue, but by the time El Presidente and Ledi arrived and dispatched it, it had already finished her off and begun battering ArmageddonCounselor.

8th of Moonstone, 512
Today, the ghost of Commander Pyro was put to rest. EmeraldWind will likely join him soon... As, I fear, will ArmageddonCounselor, who's already exhibiting the blistering and vomiting that will likely precede his transition to undeath.

18th of Moonstone, 512
As if that wasn't enough, today DevilEd's severed arm came to unlife and started attacking people. Fortunately, Balnash was there to put it down with his axe.
« Last Edit: March 15, 2013, 05:00:22 am by Dark_T_Zeratul »
Logged
The miasma caused Sethrist to go miserable and throw a tantrum. During the tantrum he mauled a dog to near-death and that caused his mood to go all the way up to content. Apparently, beating the crap out of dogs is the best way to achieve happiness.

LordSlowpoke

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1442 on: March 15, 2013, 09:36:32 am »

El Presidente, meanwhile, got bored of smashing the skeleton with her warhammer and instead CHEWED APART ITS SPINE.

calcium.

it's good for you.
Logged

Teneb

  • Bay Watcher
  • (they/them) Penguin rebellion
    • View Profile
Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1443 on: March 15, 2013, 09:50:06 am »

El Presidente, meanwhile, got bored of smashing the skeleton with her warhammer and instead CHEWED APART ITS SPINE.

calcium.

it's good for you.

That is how a real president gets his calcium.
Logged
Monstrous Manual: D&D in DF
Quote from: Tack
What if “slammed in the ass by dead philosophers” is actually the thing which will progress our culture to the next step?

laularukyrumo

  • Bay Watcher
  • Needs More Socks
    • View Profile
Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1444 on: March 16, 2013, 02:22:35 pm »

El Presidente, meanwhile, got bored of smashing the skeleton with her warhammer and instead CHEWED APART ITS SPINE.

calcium.

it's good for you.

Sigged. Fuck yeah.
Logged
Quote from: Dwarfotaur
Everytime one of my militia has given birth in the Danger Room, it's lead to instant baby smoothies for everyone.

Gotta Catch 'Em All!

Dat Sig Thread

Eric Blank

  • Bay Watcher
  • *Remain calm*
    • View Profile
Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1445 on: March 16, 2013, 07:01:34 pm »

None of the undead dwarves was me, right? Hopefully...
Logged
I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Dark_T_Zeratul

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1446 on: March 16, 2013, 07:33:30 pm »

They were all unnamed dwarves.
Logged
The miasma caused Sethrist to go miserable and throw a tantrum. During the tantrum he mauled a dog to near-death and that caused his mood to go all the way up to content. Apparently, beating the crap out of dogs is the best way to achieve happiness.

the1337doofus

  • Bay Watcher
  • Grand Master Lurker
    • View Profile
Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1447 on: March 17, 2013, 12:07:24 am »

Have I seen any action yet? My dwarf, if he has been dwarfed, is named bonk and is a military dorf.
Logged
Quote from: /k/
Multiple babies means that the force is distributed per baby, so less force total per baby.
burning dwarves is a sign of productivity

SpaceKGreen

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1448 on: March 17, 2013, 06:14:37 am »

One Space dies in a firey blaze, the other of dehydration due to insanity?

Actually in this case I think it's just a job name, not actual insanity.

But then again, in this fortress...


...who's already exhibiting the blistering and vomiting that will likely precede his transition to undeath.

BOOMER!
« Last Edit: March 17, 2013, 06:57:17 am by SpaceKGreen »
Logged

Spish

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1449 on: March 17, 2013, 01:12:38 pm »

Maybe it's just he's the only sane dwarf in the fortress, so to everyone else he looks insane. Then again, a quick peek at the save also reveals that Space has apparently been sharing his room with the ghost of his dead wife.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: March 17, 2013, 01:32:07 pm by Spish »
Logged
Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.

Mr Space Cat

  • Bay Watcher
  • inactive, changed accounts. sig for info
    • View Profile
Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1450 on: March 17, 2013, 03:04:37 pm »

Maybe it's just he's the only sane dwarf in the fortress, so to everyone else he looks insane. Then again, a quick peek at the save also reveals that Space has apparently been sharing his room with the ghost of his dead wife.

Wow. The stories in this game, man.
Logged
Made a new account that I use instead of this one. Don't message this one, I'm probably not gonna use it.

New account: Spehss _

Dark_T_Zeratul

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1451 on: March 18, 2013, 01:19:46 am »

22nd of Moonstone, 512
Chief Inspector Silverlock was incinerated today by the now half-melted Forgotten Beast, Mostod Merrangkobem. Unfortunately, as I have been unable to locate a breach, I've been forced to conclude that Silverlock and Space Cat were somehow sealed outside the fortress and have been surviving who knows how for Armok only knows how long.

4th of Opal, 512
During construction of phase 2 of the grand project, a fire clay explosion very nearly killed Qwerty and one of our craftsdwarves. Though they survived with only minor injuries, a miscalculation in mining designations led to a cave in that killed them shortly thereafter. I will need to be more careful in the future if this project is to reach successful completion.

10th of Opal, 512
Rhyme has given birth to a boy! Let us hope that his lifespan is considerably higher than the average here in Horrorfailed.

12th of Opal, 512
Kol Kironshorast has become possessed! He keeps muttering the name "Arbostnar" over and over again... Fingers crossed it's something useful.

22nd of Opal, 512
Our Outpost Liaison arrived today, and promptly punched a zombie raven to death. Apparently, the mountainhomes have finally gotten the message that they need to send seriously hardcore liaisons if they actually want them to come back alive.

25th of Opal, 512
Arobstnar, the Deified Rawness, is a crown. Eh. Could be worse, I suppose.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

3rd of Obsidian, 512
Phase 2 of the grand project is complete! Unfortunately, phase 3 presents a problem. It requires me to dig a tunnel up into the aquifer level to release the water into the channel below and fill the chamber. However, reaching that spot requires me to go through other parts of the aquifer, releasing more water. I must consult the fortress's architects and attempt to come up with a solution to this problem...
« Last Edit: March 18, 2013, 01:44:20 am by Dark_T_Zeratul »
Logged
The miasma caused Sethrist to go miserable and throw a tantrum. During the tantrum he mauled a dog to near-death and that caused his mood to go all the way up to content. Apparently, beating the crap out of dogs is the best way to achieve happiness.

Temporarily9

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1452 on: March 18, 2013, 04:20:53 am »

Yay, already an injury. Now I just have to wait to die of thirst in the hospital from a stubbed toe.
Logged

Silverlock

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1453 on: March 18, 2013, 09:49:15 am »

"Does your Beast flame?"

"No."

"Hello there, little . . ."

Fwoom!

"You said your Beast . . .!"

"That is not my beast."


<crumple>


I can't remember whether we were automatically perpetually redorfing, so: redorf me, please!  Silverlock -- Chief Inspector -- any occupation
« Last Edit: March 18, 2013, 02:02:00 pm by Silverlock »
Logged
"All right boys, let's strike the- *crack* whatthefwarblblub..."
"...Dibs on the pick."
Hidden beneath rusting weapons was a mass of assorted bones. An elf, a goblin, even an ogre. All just waiting for someone to walk by and notice them, like some kind of land mine of horror.

Newbunkle

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1454 on: March 19, 2013, 10:41:00 am »

So... I haven't really had the time to follow this since starting my new job. I thought I'd spend my sick day catching up and drinking more tea than the human body should be able to contain.

The last I heard I'd died. I didn't know I was redwarfed - twice no less - so sorry to the people who did that for not saying thank you at the time. It was fun to hear about my exploits. I even did something useful - huzzah! So where's that artifact battle axe now? I hope it came in handy. :D

Hopefully I can stay on top of the updates now that I've reached the end. I'll do my best anyway.
Logged
Pages: 1 ... 95 96 [97] 98 99 ... 136