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Author Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles  (Read 274618 times)

Ledi

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1485 on: March 26, 2013, 03:22:52 am »

^ I wouldn't be surprised. Take a look at the battle report from the siege before this one:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
She puts the "Crazy" in "Crazy Cat Lady."

Dear lordy. Note to all: DON'T MESS WITH HER CATS. The last thing you want is her having a tantrum. XD
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So Ledi's been training the cats into an army of disposable warbeasts?  Why did no-one think of this sooner?!
Hellcannon seemed to be constantly on the verge of death and Levergedon before my turn helped, but ultimately what killed it was Ledi's cat army.

the1337doofus

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1486 on: March 26, 2013, 10:00:20 pm »

^ I wouldn't be surprised. Take a look at the battle report from the siege before this one:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
She puts the "Crazy" in "Crazy Cat Lady."

 :( Death by tantruming cat lady, what a horrible way to go....
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Multiple babies means that the force is distributed per baby, so less force total per baby.
burning dwarves is a sign of productivity

Mr Space Cat

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1487 on: March 27, 2013, 06:59:24 pm »

Remind me to adopt Ledi sometime. You know, for safety precautions to be friendly.
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Made a new account that I use instead of this one. Don't message this one, I'm probably not gonna use it.

New account: Spehss _

Temporarily9

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1488 on: March 27, 2013, 08:46:59 pm »

Yeah, Ledi seems to be one of those unstoppable forces that everything from Hellcannons and onward needs.
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Dark_T_Zeratul

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1489 on: March 27, 2013, 11:02:34 pm »

28th of Galena, 513
Traded most of our excess clothing to the humans today, in exchange for food, booze, empty cages, and some shiny new trap components.

13th of Limestone, 513
Hunter returned to the fortress today, after having spent the last two weeks running around outside trying to deliver Armok knows what to the depot (apparently there's something only accessible via the surface that's not forbidden; when I find it, I'm forbidding the hell out of it). His entire body is swollen with blood and rotting - so much so that he's producing miasma - so I expect a spectacularly gruesome death in the near future.

22nd of Limestone, 513
Hunter died today. Hm, I wonder who I can get to clean all this blood off the walls of the infirmary...

19th of Sandstone, 513
Six new victims sacrifices future corpses migrants arrived today.

27th of Sandstone, 513
The latest Forgotten Beast: Ngethacuja Thretelmuthro. A towering, bloated three-eyed sparrow with three tails and noxious secretions.

13th of Timber, 513
Another siege! I believe that's our third this year. I do hope they amuse me more than the last.

14th of Timber, 513
Huh. Trolls this time. Guess they realized the ogres were ineffective and hope the trolls will be more useful?

15th of Timber, 513
Nope. The trolls got horribly slaughtered by the traps in record time. Didn't even have to call in the militia.

17th of Timber, 513
And there go the goblins, who utterly failed to consider that there might be a reason their trolls were hacked apart and scattered across the entryway.

19th of Timber, 513
Oh, there are trolls, too! This will be a good test of my new bridge trap.

20th of Timber, 513
I think it would have worked much better if the ogres had actually come across the bridge, instead of hanging out on the pressure plates until the bridge retracted. Long story short, there are now two slightly injured several ogres and three badly injured trolls in the fortress. But I figure it's nothing the Rags of Breath can't handle!

22nd of Timber, 513
This is worse than I thought. Time to call in the Rough Crotch-Pinnacles and the Reputed Rims!

24th of Timber, 513
Just for good measure, I've called in the rest of the squads to finish dealing with these damnable ogres.

25th of Timber, 513
And the battle is over, with not even a single casualty on our side! Special mentions are being made of the following dwarves:
Qwerty, for bashing an ogre to death with his steel warhammer.
Balnash, for beating the ever-loving shit out of another ogre.
Tyrar, for slicing off an ogre's hand after slicing off another ogre's face.
Our monstrous menagerie of wolves, dogs, and bears, for general ownage.
A raven skeleton, for ripping apart the head of a troll that managed to escape from our fortress of doom.

21st of Moonstone, 513
Galka Eslimthacsum. Yet another enormous skinless alligator, this time with an equally enormous shell and a poisonous bite.

3rd of Opal, 513
One of the more burninating forgotten beasts managed to get into Nexusv's hole; she's on fire now. I have a feeling I know how it will end. On the plus side, it also badly burned another forgotten beast, which I guess balances out.

4th of Opal, 513
"Nexusv, Zartlich Vampire's mandate has ended."

15th of Opal, 513
The ghost of Count Eric has begun to steal our stuff. Since his body is likely outside, I'll have to have someone carve a memorial for him.

6th of Obsidian, 513
Qwerty became possessed, claimed a jeweler's workshop, and created yet another incredibly boring adventurine.

1st of Granite, 514
As I reflect back upon my tenure as leader of Horrorfailed, I feel that I did a genuinely good job of running the fortress. We ended with more dwarves than we started with, we killed amazing numbers of goblins, ogres, and trolls, and we fixed some of our organizational problems (and a stunning dearth of proper stockpiles).

Yes, overall, I feel good about this. Now, to go find Urist Imiknorris and tell him he's in charge! ...Wait, didn't he die? Shit. Now what?
« Last Edit: March 28, 2013, 03:25:08 am by Dark_T_Zeratul »
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The miasma caused Sethrist to go miserable and throw a tantrum. During the tantrum he mauled a dog to near-death and that caused his mood to go all the way up to content. Apparently, beating the crap out of dogs is the best way to achieve happiness.

Dark_T_Zeratul

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1490 on: March 28, 2013, 12:13:36 am »

SAVE: http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=7514

I fixed a ton of the job cancellation notices; apparently there was a stockpile outside of the fortress that the dwarves were trying to put things in.

Also, on level 2, on the lefthand side, you'll find a line of cages behind a wall. My plan was to link them all to the nearby lever, complete the wall, then throw the switch and let them all kill each other in glorious combat. Feel free to continue, or not, as you see fit.

I've PM'd Urist Imiknorris, and just in case it lasts that long, or a ton of people get ebola/get hit by a taco truck/fall off a skyscraper, I'd like another turn.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2013, 03:34:17 am by Dark_T_Zeratul »
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The miasma caused Sethrist to go miserable and throw a tantrum. During the tantrum he mauled a dog to near-death and that caused his mood to go all the way up to content. Apparently, beating the crap out of dogs is the best way to achieve happiness.

Dark_T_Zeratul

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1491 on: March 28, 2013, 12:16:02 pm »

Sorry, but I can't. I'm going to be way too busy for the next week or so.
So I guess we're skipping to Megaman3321, then?
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The miasma caused Sethrist to go miserable and throw a tantrum. During the tantrum he mauled a dog to near-death and that caused his mood to go all the way up to content. Apparently, beating the crap out of dogs is the best way to achieve happiness.

Eric Blank

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1492 on: March 28, 2013, 11:24:50 pm »

15th of Opal, 513
The ghost of Count Eric has begun to steal our stuff. Since his body is likely outside, I'll have to have someone carve a memorial for him.

Dear Ignorant FoolsCitizens of Horrorfailed,

I told you all, multiple times, to let me out of that god-damned cage, upgrade my mansion, and install several vampire slaves for me. And what did you do? Ignore number one and two, and leave the only feasible route to number 3 in a dank pit where she was vulnerable to the horrible monsters of the caverns. And now look. She's dead, and I have to get all incorporeal on your asses. Also, I'm taking this trinket here as a souvenir.

With rage and hatred, Count Eric.
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"THEN CAME TOBNOM, ASS-GOD".
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Spish

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1493 on: March 29, 2013, 12:18:00 am »

To think we could've just dumped Nexi's bloody corpse and clothing in a well, had it not just burned up :P

Edit: It seems I've been booted from the position of sheriff in our transition to democracy.
« Last Edit: March 29, 2013, 12:23:21 am by Spish »
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Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.

Dark_T_Zeratul

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1494 on: March 29, 2013, 01:27:58 am »

To think we could've just dumped Nexi's bloody corpse and clothing in a well, had it not just burned up :P
Actually, I think his body might have ended up in one of the underground lakes... So we'll see. This could get interesting.
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The miasma caused Sethrist to go miserable and throw a tantrum. During the tantrum he mauled a dog to near-death and that caused his mood to go all the way up to content. Apparently, beating the crap out of dogs is the best way to achieve happiness.

Temporarily9

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1495 on: March 29, 2013, 01:46:54 am »

Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.
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Vgray

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1496 on: March 29, 2013, 02:09:04 am »

Is that title a Starcraft reference?
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Teneb

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1497 on: March 29, 2013, 03:51:55 pm »

Sent Megaman the PM.
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laularukyrumo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1498 on: March 29, 2013, 08:55:21 pm »

Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.

Congrats, you have been Sigged. :D
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Gotta Catch 'Em All!

Dat Sig Thread

Dinjoralo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1499 on: March 30, 2013, 10:35:00 am »

22nd of Timber, 513
This is worse than I thought. Time to call in the Rough Crotch-Pinnacles and the Reputed Rims!
...Really? Of all the things to name our squads...
I think I'll sig this.
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