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Author Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles  (Read 287398 times)

ILBane

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1515 on: April 04, 2013, 12:42:52 pm »

I'm a bit late to the party, but can I get a dwarf?
Name: Bane
Profession: Spearman
Custom Profession name: Spartan wannabee

Preferably male
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Crocatowa

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1516 on: April 04, 2013, 12:44:54 pm »

I'm a bit late to the party, but can I get a dwarf?
Name: Bane
Profession: Spearman
Custom Profession name: Spartan wannabee

Preferably male

I'll see what I can do, need to catch up on the Dorfing list and the overall madness that is this fortress... now that its my turn I need to back over the finer details...

EDIT: There have been no pictures in quite a while, oh boy. And are there any objections to using a different tileset?
« Last Edit: April 04, 2013, 12:50:20 pm by Crocatowa »
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The only dye dwarfs should use is MAGMA. And the only thing dwarfs should dye is ELVES.

Spish

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1517 on: April 04, 2013, 01:22:18 pm »

Nothing wrong with using a tileset, as long as you reverse any related rawchanges before uploading the save. Be sure to appoint a Captain of the Guard.
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Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.

Crocatowa

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1518 on: April 04, 2013, 02:20:38 pm »

It looks like there already is a tileset being used? Regardless, I've had fortresses go to hell, but this is just ridiculous.

Log:
So today a very mannish looking woman came in mentioning that management finally gave him/her maternity leave and that it was my job now to take care of the lot of us. I have never seen this person before in my life but apparently he/she knew where to find me to tell me this. I wish I could have asked why it wasn't my name on the paperwork but they were already gone and I now had to stop organizing my socks to figure out everything that was going on that wasn't meant to be my concern. I seriously hope this was meant for me and not just dropped on the first idle body found...

Anyway, some of the records here are military enlistments and draftees... and there is a list of those dead or missing... and if I'm reading these properly, our military is in utter disarray...

Now I know why food is so hard to come by, we barely manage to keep enough for 3 meals a day, yet we have over a hundred caged beasts that would be perfect for eating! I for one love owl meat. I see we have tons of plants... why this hasn't been used to feed the animals is beyond me.

We also don't have a captain of the guard, or a guard for said person to be captain of...

Just... I need a drink...
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The only dye dwarfs should use is MAGMA. And the only thing dwarfs should dye is ELVES.

HunterG24

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1519 on: April 06, 2013, 10:31:52 pm »

13th of Limestone, 513
Hunter returned to the fortress today, after having spent the last two weeks running around outside trying to deliver Armok knows what to the depot (apparently there's something only accessible via the surface that's not forbidden; when I find it, I'm forbidding the hell out of it). His entire body is swollen with blood and rotting - so much so that he's producing miasma - so I expect a spectacularly gruesome death in the near future.

22nd of Limestone, 513
Hunter died today. Hm, I wonder who I can get to clean all this blood off the walls of the infirmary...

Good to know that I did something useful even if it was just to die... Yea that made no sense, I'd like a redorf please.
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Sabretache

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1520 on: April 07, 2013, 03:43:16 am »

Requesting a dwarf please called 'Battle Bruva' with the profession 'Blood Raven'. Any random dwarf will suffice but preferably one with military skills.
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Things are very seldom what they seem. In my experience, they’re usually a damn sight worse.

Crocatowa

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1521 on: April 07, 2013, 06:00:11 pm »

I will hopefully have an update sometime tonight. But seriously, WIA happened to this fort?
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The only dye dwarfs should use is MAGMA. And the only thing dwarfs should dye is ELVES.

Eric Blank

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1522 on: April 07, 2013, 09:15:55 pm »

Dwarves and overseers happened to it. The reanimating biomes helped, but there's only so much left to fuck with after dwarves under the influence of overseers have rolled through.
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"THEN CAME TOBNOM, ASS-GOD".
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

The Master

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1523 on: April 07, 2013, 09:47:10 pm »

Hello everyone! How have you all been?

I DEMAND A TURN!
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Holy jesus I thought I was ready but nothing could have prepared me for this
Hush, little Asea, don't you cry.
If he notices we'll surely die!
You. Made. Asea. CRY.

Dinjoralo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1524 on: April 07, 2013, 09:53:18 pm »

Wow, my turn's actually pretty close. I can't wait to
I DEMAND A TURN!
We're doomed.
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The Master

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1525 on: April 07, 2013, 10:05:23 pm »

My turn will consist of, in no particular order: death by madness, flying monkeys taking Manhattan, volcanic eruptions, and the creation of the cheese ray.
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Holy jesus I thought I was ready but nothing could have prepared me for this
Hush, little Asea, don't you cry.
If he notices we'll surely die!
You. Made. Asea. CRY.

Spish

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1526 on: April 07, 2013, 10:45:33 pm »

Dwarves and overseers happened to it. The reanimating biomes helped, but there's only so much left to fuck with after dwarves under the influence of overseers have rolled through.
I'd blame it on overseers prioritizing safety of the fortress of all things, instead of more important stuff like zombie armies, vampire wells, doomsday weapons, overseer pranks, and !!SCIENCE!!. This The Master guy has the right idea I tell you what.

Seriously we have an army of zombified forgotten beasts. Why do we even have this silly trap hallway?
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Ah, yes, I thought something was amiss. Now I see. There's not enough terrible things in the lakes.

Temporarily9

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1527 on: April 07, 2013, 11:45:41 pm »

It's okay, his turn is after mine. He'll only be able to destroy a smoking crater.
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Mego

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1528 on: April 08, 2013, 02:37:09 pm »

My turn will consist of, in no particular order: <snip>flying monkeys taking Manhattan<snip>

I don't even know what advice to give for this. Don't blink?

Greasemunky

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1529 on: April 08, 2013, 04:34:36 pm »

Oh, it's nearing my turn...

Well that happened faster than I thought it would.
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And hey, fps rose from 4 to 12 from all the death.  That's good, right?
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