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Author Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles  (Read 269094 times)

Mr Space Cat

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1605 on: May 06, 2013, 07:22:21 pm »

I come back to check out how the fort's going and find I'm still alive!...then promoted to broker!...then promoted to reanimated pieces! All in one update! Woo!

I wouldn't mind getting redorfed as a miner. Diggin' can be dangerous fun, and picks can be even more dangerous fun.
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Made a new account that I use instead of this one. Don't message this one, I'm probably not gonna use it.

New account: Spehss _

Dinjoralo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1606 on: May 06, 2013, 09:38:58 pm »

I come back to check out how the fort's going and find I'm still alive!...then promoted to broker!...then promoted to reanimated pieces! All in one update! Woo!

I wouldn't mind getting redorfed as a miner. Diggin' can be dangerous fun, and picks can be even more dangerous fun.
Well, promoted to broker, demoted when I started getting impatient, then promoted to DED. I'll redorf you and silverlock (if he's dead) tomorrow. Today I just got sucked into Dark Souls and a few hours later I realize I had a fortress to run. Really want to beat that damn game before the sequel comes out. At least I gave you a double update yesterday.
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Wirevix

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1607 on: May 07, 2013, 01:15:18 pm »

I've finally caught up on the entire Battlefailed saga, and like others before me, I'd like to request a dwarfing.

Vix - [Any Profession] - Lurking Dragon - [No special requests]
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In other news, the trees in my game can have invisible sex.

Dinjoralo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1608 on: May 07, 2013, 03:49:02 pm »

Alright, Vix, Space Cat, and SilverLock are all dorfed up.
Welcome back to Dinjoralo's Magical Rainbow Catastrophe, I will be your conductor today. Please keep your arms, heads, and sanity inside the madness at all times.

I remember sending a squad up to where the trader is to make sure he doesn't die. Good thing he got attacked at the front entrance.
Megaman3321, calm down already. Geez, I need you to fight off undead body parts. Or did I send you up to help the trader? I can't remember.
One of the caravan guards managed to kill the raven corpse before the trader died. Now he's saying that he's winded, I told him to walk it off.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Oh, no. Okay, let's hope they can be held off long enough for the bridge lever to be pulled.

Actually, never mind, the caravan guard did enough to make them run away like little baby cowards. Right into The Shit, so they will probably lose their minds.

Crap, Megaman has just gone berserk. The other soldiers took him down, but now Deathsword is throwing a tantrum. Even worse, they killed Megaman where his corpse can annoy us.

Ooh, nice. It almost makes me forget about all the crazy crap going on right now.

The corpse parts refuse to cooperate in our efforts to dump them. Soldiers are being moved in to assist once more, and the bridge outside is going to be lifted.

Okay, why are there dwarves outside the fortress? Why is there another raven corpse killing the trader? Why is nobody pulling the damn lever to the bridge?
Alright, somebody finally pulled the lever. There are three dwarves outside getting mutilated by ravens. I don't care about any of them. Only one I should care about is Dorfitron, and I have more important things on my plate.
Oh no, a snatcher ran off with a child. Good, take her away, She'll be better off with you. Your camp is probably safer than here. Anywhere is safer than here.

I think that all threats in the project area have been dealt with. Continue digging, it's winter now and I want to see The Shit fall before I must step down.
« Last Edit: May 07, 2013, 04:03:18 pm by Dinjoralo »
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Foo Quuxman

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1609 on: May 08, 2013, 08:23:48 am »

Ah! the sweet taste of disaster failure !!FUN!!

So, am I still alive/unalive/whatever insanity DF cooks up next?

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Dinjoralo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1610 on: May 08, 2013, 05:27:47 pm »

What did you have your dwarf named? I can't find anyone named Foo or Quuxman, so either you're dead or I don't know.

I've decided to lower the bridge again, because pointlessly letting the dwarves outside die seems as pointless as it sounds. One of them's resting and being attacked by a raven corpse above him. Normally I wouldn't care, but the raven is scaring the other dwarves from coming in. Send someone to deal with that.
Oh, there's actually four dwarves out there. The fourth one is nauseous from frolicking in The Shit, so he'll have to stay out for our own good.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Seriously, what the hell is taking the squad so long? Do I need to send everyone again in the vain hope that one of you will be close enough to actually do something? I guess so, because that raven is causing so many job cancellations WHY ARE YOU IDIOTS TRYING TO HAUL THINGS OUTSIDE. For fucks sake, now the nobody whateverdwarf is dead and everyone can finally go inside as the raven chases them. Good job. Hopefully the guards for the merchants that are leaving will take care of it for us, because you clearly didn't want to.
Suddenly, everyone's picking up the things they dropped at the gate when they were hauling the outside and putting them back inside. What were you even trying to do? Armok's sake, just pull the bridge up so we don't need to deal with this again. Back to digging.
Okay, I'm deconstructing the trade depot and remaking it out of something less garishly pink. I'd also like for someone to actually pick up the stuff inside it, that would be nice.
Do not complain that you can't reach the things outside that you were going to put in a stockpile, the bridge was raised so I wouldn't have to deal with you luring ravens inside. What is with all the fucking ravens?
The traders that left are getting attacked outside. I think they're all going to die before they even leave the fort area, their trader couldn't even survive one raven.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Ended up with...I'd say two thirds of them dying. Ironically most of them were the guards who are supposed to be trained to deal with this. You lot suck. Really, you do. Slappy slappy.
I just noticed a tower coming out of the fort, with Mego's corpse at the top. I'm not going to ask what cultist rituals were going on up there, but I'm having his stuff dumped.

« Last Edit: May 08, 2013, 06:20:14 pm by Dinjoralo »
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the1337doofus

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1611 on: May 08, 2013, 11:03:05 pm »

I wish you would be more specific with deaths necessary sacrifices. I get concerned about my virtual drunken midget named after me.
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Quote from: /k/
Multiple babies means that the force is distributed per baby, so less force total per baby.
burning dwarves is a sign of productivity

Dinjoralo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1612 on: May 09, 2013, 02:47:20 pm »

I wish you would be more specific with deaths necessary sacrifices. I get concerned about my virtual drunken midget named after me.
If I say it's a nobody, then that means the dwarf didn't have a custom name. I probably should investigate who died from the forgotten beast, Amas, since all the military dwarves are named.
From what I can see, random bits of Bonk, Nani, and Clover Magic are lying in the same room as Amas, and the corpses of Foo Quuxman and rridgway are nearby. Sorry about that, guys.
« Last Edit: May 09, 2013, 02:57:03 pm by Dinjoralo »
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LordSlowpoke

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1613 on: May 09, 2013, 03:29:39 pm »

I like how nobody noticed the sacrifice to the Dice Gods nonchalantly put on a rather large pointless structure. You should be able to find it now that I told you.

Requesting redorf.
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Dinjoralo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1614 on: May 09, 2013, 03:50:54 pm »

I like how nobody noticed the sacrifice to the Dice Gods nonchalantly put on a rather large pointless structure. You should be able to find it now that I told you.
You mean Mego in the tower? Oh, wait, nice formatting you have there.
Alright, time to do some stuff, and do some things. Yay.
First, I left a couple notes at the Shit Demolition Site for the next overseer. Next, I need to raise the bridge again because there's still a dwarf from the caravan here. I've forbidden everything near the entrance for good measure.

Seriously, what is with all these ravens? Where's the military? Now one nobody stonecrafter is getting pummeled outside by one three ravens. Might as well have the soldiers get rid of them while they're here.

Piss off, I don't care about you. I've had the bridge raised after the soldiers came in and some stupid unimportant engineer got stuck outside in a snowstorm because he wanted to haul something. We are not lowering the bridge for you.
The digging is going along very nicely. While that happens, I'll see if I can find this sacrifice to the dice gods that Kar Puwuncobi was babbling about earlier.
Someone just said that they saw a Forgotten Beast, but I don't see any near where he is. Also, Deathsword just lost his mind in the middle of a stockpile right next to a bunch of sleeping dwarves, and also became an administrator. Sadly, it isn't the kind of crazy where you attack people, all he's doing is running around babbling. Boring.
« Last Edit: May 09, 2013, 04:40:57 pm by Dinjoralo »
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Dinjoralo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1615 on: May 10, 2013, 05:39:05 pm »

The sad thing about Deathsword not going berserk is that I was getting ready to take a replay of the ensuing chaos. I even downloaded the legacy version and everything.

The nameless engineer who bumbled outside like an idiot is currently getting torn apart by ravens above the fort. He's dead now. His own fault, really.
Wait, what the hell is this?

Why are there stairs that almost let everything outside in the fort? There's even a stairwell that goes nowhere right next to it. I might look for more things like this, but right now there are more important matters. Like that Dice God thing because I need to have a serious talk with that guy who's probably making my .
Apparently one of the caged crundle's has "reverted to a wild state!" Since the thing's in a cage, I don't think it can pose any threat whatsoever to anything ever. I'm having the stuff littering the hall of traps leading outside hauled to make things less cluttered around there.
I've been contemplating what to do after my run as overseer. While the idea of making a catapult and flinging myself into The Shit and leaving a letter calling the dwarves here idiots is tempting, I don't think I can bring myself to that. More so the flinging then the letter, that I'm leaving in the mess hall for everyone to read. I think I've found my calling: killing every last fucking raven in The Brutal Tundras of Gristle. I've joined the Vessels of Uncertainty with Qwerty in order to achieve this noble goal. To victory, and death!
OOC: Really this came from a botched attempt to kill my dwarf for the end of my turn.
Ravens at the front entrance! How did they get inside, can they actually fly? Wow. Luckily, the traps got them, though one of them managed to attack Mr. Syde before a wolf jumped in and saved him. Nothing new here.
I think I might have thought out The Shit Demolition Project wrong. I'm going to need to dig out the layer above where all the miners are digging now, not below. This might let the dwarves out to get themselves killed, which worries me a bit. I'll have to rethink where everyone will dig.
I just noticed that the dwarves removing the walls I had placed when I was thinking of throwing myself into The Shit are all children. How'd you manage getting them to earn their keep?


I think that's all for today. I'm too tired for more right now.
« Last Edit: May 10, 2013, 06:15:23 pm by Dinjoralo »
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laularukyrumo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1616 on: May 10, 2013, 06:44:11 pm »

Removing constructions is one of the, like, two things children will do. It's nice because it's a good way to lure them into an atom-smasher. :>
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Temporarily9

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1617 on: May 11, 2013, 02:14:56 pm »

"The Vessels of Uncertainty" is a fantastic name for a raven-killing military branch.
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Dinjoralo

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1618 on: May 11, 2013, 03:28:13 pm »

Removing constructions is one of the, like, two things children will do. It's nice because it's a good way to lure them into an atom-smasher. :>
Shows how much I play this. I.E. Barely at all. People probably think this turn is funny because I have no idea what I'm doing, and a lot of the mishaps have sprung from that.
Mr. Syde is currently vomiting a lot after her encounter with the raven. Why there's a baby girl named Mr. Syde I'll never know.
Why's there a really cool looking bedroom in the middle of a quarry area for a random nobody fish cleaner? I think I'll be taking that, thank you.

From what I can tell, the room has a really stupid and contrived way of getting into it, involving going up and down a couple stairs through pretty-looking rooms for no good reason. Really, who designed this? A noble?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Minor random things go here: Tasrak became attached to a bronze battle axe, more ravens got in, Catalyst's ghost is in the fort now,
Hey, is this that sacrifice thingy you were talking about, Lord Slowpoke?

That's arcangelsd's corpse, and there's no way out, the only way in being a hole surrounded by gem windows and two statues.
I want to ask, what is this big digging designation for, and who put it here? I'm not going to do anything about it because I need all the miners on the Shit Demolition Project.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


You things aren't even threatening anymore. This place has become BORING.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2013, 03:57:38 pm by Dinjoralo »
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LordSlowpoke

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Re: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - You Require Additional Cannons
« Reply #1619 on: May 11, 2013, 04:10:55 pm »

Nah, that's not the sacrifice. It's somewhere else. Keep looking, though! :3 And do reassign me all the pretty rooms in the cluster there, other than the auxiliary bedrooms on the sides. The quarry bedroom once belonged to Eric. huh, no it didn't, what's wrong here

Stuff down at the forges was meant to be an ore/bar storage, but I ran out of time to actually mine it.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2013, 04:13:35 pm by LordSlowpoke »
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