Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

1

0 (0%)

2

0 (0%)

3

0 (0%)

4

0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 0

[NAV]

Trialfires is in trouble. Captain Mountainhomes is dead. He took his own life. The army is pathetic. A group of untrained peasants with gear fit for elves.

I don't care. It is not my problem. I just engrave. I am content.

It has been a year, time for a new overseer. I think it's The Kaspa's turn.
The Kaspa cancels play dwarf fortress: interrupted by university. (especially funny if you read Kaspa's signature)
Fuck. Its my turn. I need a drink.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

We have no drink. Fuck.

[apiks]

LOL. No drinks? I left like 700 of prepared food and booze when my turn ended. Funny to see it having ended so fast xD.

[BFEL]

Anyone know exactly how mountainhomes killed himself?
Whatever it is we're going to retcon it into him finding some horrid threat to the fort and chasing it to hell because he was so badass

[NAV]

He was dead when I got here.

[BFEL]

He just left a pretend body behind to troll Apiks. Probably painted it as himself. I mean Apiks got fooled by a rock painted on a shield XD

[apiks]

Hey! The whole rock thing was my idea! Remember? It was supposed to be like that and it worked as intended .

[BFEL]

And that makes you getting fooled by it better HOW?

[apiks]

Because I thinked of it. That's how.

[NAV]

This is harder than I thought it would be.
Our military consisted of dwarves chosen entirely at random, with no consideration that they were our only farmers, or that they had NO ARMS!! so I downsized it. only skilled dwarves in the army now. That leaves 4 melee dwarves, and 3 marksdwarves, and battledigger.

Magma. Magma fall in the main hall will happen. also in apiks room.
magma forges are too far. too low. i am moving them closer to the main fort.
magma trap. we need a magma trap. how

I'm hungry.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

why is everyone starving? we have lots of food.
never mind. we only have tallow, syrup, and flour. ordered the chefs to make some sort of gruel with that. yum.

too many corpses. not enough coffins. put the corpses in the refuse pile. then we can't see them rot.

we have three traders. they wait by the edge of our land. they brought nothing. that's not how to trade.

the dwarves are spreading rumours that Captain Mountainhomes is still alive. It's sad. Accept that he's dead and move on. He wasn't the hero we thought we would be.

[apiks]

Are you telling me that you disbanded my guards and flooded my chambers with magma? Noooo! Also my guards were chosen at random by the most uselessness they have. This will be most interesting.

[NAV]

you have 3 guards counting yourself. also, your rooms will have a magmafall in them. they won't get flooded. if it works properly

[BFEL]

um NAV im pretty sure...you know what nevermind. It'll be more !!FUN!! if you find out yourself

[BFEL]

the dwarves are spreading rumours that Captain Mountainhomes is still alive. It's sad. Accept that he's dead and move on. He wasn't the hero we thought we would be.

NEVER! Or at least not until one of the kids gets dorfed as his illegitimate offspring

[NAV]

our militia Commander violated a production order. Apiks cracked his skull like an eggshell. He is in the Hospital with brain damage.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Great job Apiks.

There was a goblin ambush. 4 hammers and a wrestler. They walked right past the traders. suspicious. 2 more ambushes. 9 axemen and a pikeman. I ordered everyone inside. The animals didn't listen.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

there were also a few dogs.

The animals all died. Half the goblins died. It was a fair trade.
They fought our army this time.  Militia commander Etur was still in the hospital so he couldn't fight. We did great though.only One death and no cripplings! Apiks forgot to bring ammo for his crossbow, so he went and hit things with it. Apiks still has zero kills and he got a nasty cut on his leg with nerve damage. He will walk again though because it's only his sensory nerves.

I still haven't eaten. That rat looks tasty.
Spring's over.

[apiks]

Why thank, thank, nono, thank, thank you too, thank, thank, why thank you as well, thank you. Nobody be violating a production order and getting away with it on my watch. And my crossbow is so badass it can hit things with it and still be effective. And thanks to my sensory nerves for being disabled. This means that I can fight without feeling anything in that leg.