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Poll

A new drunken world is imminent. Should we try a modded world?

Yes!
No!
I am small and neutral, like Switzerland

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Author Topic: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [We Hath Become Death, the Destroyers of Worlds]  (Read 548036 times)

Scruffy

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  • !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! Come smell the ashes
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ABBAMANTINE'S BACK ONM THE MENU BOYS

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So how could I ever refuse
I drink and fort crumbles when I do

Waterfort. I was drowned, you slab the dorf
Waterfort. Promised to dorf you for ever more
Waterfort. Could drain the brook if wanted to
Waterfort. Knowing my ghost is here with you
Wahwahwahwah
Waterfort. Finally drowning in Waterfort
Logged
The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

Naryar

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Excuse the double post, but I figured out the problem with my last turn: I got wasted too fast. I think the trick is to start before you're drunk with the buzz so you can actually begin and gauge your pace,

Yeah, that's exactly it.

"Shoruke, lord of the wang" and i am still laughing about that one

also demons. yeah. we need magma and water and repeat that fuckup in the former fortress, you know, when i pulled some levers.

ABBAMANTINE'S BACK ONM THE MENU BOYS

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

gimme gimme gimme blue metal after midnight

Scruffy

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  • !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! Come smell the ashes
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Hmm... I'm getting ideas. Never a good sign.
Pressure plates. The next time I'm building a lake I will make it so that the fortress collapses if the water is drained... If I only had thought of it at the time.
Edit: Yep, doable but might require a few gimmicks. Would be easy to prevent it from working but that shouldn't matter as long as nobody is sober enough to figure out how it works
Did some testing and HURRAH! It is doable and can be implemented during my next turn. That should stop nasty overseers from desecrating this beautiful piece of dwarven architechture
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: April 27, 2015, 08:05:51 am by Scruffy »
Logged
The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

DrStrangeWeird

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  • I am angry. ANGRY ABOUT ELVES.
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I didn't mention it in the post because...well, that should be obvious. I built a proper dining room for everybody, and by proper dining room, I mean right angle with huge pillars at the ass-end of the fort next to the to-be slums/prison, which is directly over my housing project and easily accessed by two sets of doors.

I don't see any problem with that  8)

Strand extraction takes forever, but I think all our adamantine's still in one pile at the bottom of everything for the next person, whatever you end up making. How about some lovely adamantine wells for Waterworld the Fortress?

There's also just a set of doors leading into the bottom-most caves and a huge messy labyrinth next to the noble's quarter which could probably be turned into something useful. If nobody does it, I'll probably end up building proper walls and floors on every area we're cordoned off from the caves next time I can afford to binge on the weekend. Also, because I hate visualizing the fortresses consisting of nothing but five-foot high chambers like a bunch of moles live there or something, the noble's rooms are two z-levels, which isn't all that impressive unless you're comparing it to literally every other room in the entire fort. Also, they make excellent drowning chambers now.
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---

Bobnova

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Also, they make excellent drowning chambers now.
What, is this Dwarf Fortress or something?
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how do I lizard Werewolf
ther seems to be a little gecko problem somehwere.
O gawd, drank all ten beers. And 3/5 of this at dinner.  I'm dronk.

Scruffy

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Drunk as a skunk.
Won't take a turn though.  Better let someone else take one first to bring in some variety
Logged
The weredwarf Urist McUrist has come! A bearded drunkard twisted into minute form. It is crazed for booze and socks. Its unwashed beard is tangled. It needs alcohol to get through the working day and has gone without a drink for far too long. Now you will know why you fear the mines.

Et tu, Urist

Chevaleresse

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If only. . . Why must the legal age be 21 in the United States, i'm legally allowed to join the military already
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As it turns out, outpost liasons blend.
I guess there are more bronies than psychotic suicidal alcoholics. Who knew.

Taupe

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Let the madness begin.

*Approaches his mini bar*

Begin my turn, or the part before it. I'm currently in the mood for some drinking.Partially because today exists, and I,m in the mood for a drink basically all the time, but especially because I just played bloodbowl. Normally I can deal with bad rools, but nothing can make you forget a goblin vs dwarf match in a league environment, except booze. not after the fanatic gets downed by a rock before the match starts.

So I've been drinking a couple of sleemans. sleeman isnt the best, but it's also the one beer at the local cornerstore that isnt overpriced microbrew, or piss-made budweiser shit. It's not a bad cornerstore, Emile's, because they have Arizonas imported from the states. (Arizona arent sold in canada anymore because reasons). Friendly advice: no matter what, the blueberry Shaq Soda isn,t your friend. in fact, I would rather drink the blood of random monkeys than taste it again, and i don't even like monkey blood. also, I get the feeling that emile is a chinese. Or maybe the guy behind the counter isnt Emile, which would be some serious false advertisement. When I go to McDonald, I expect to see Ronald McDonald somewhere. and high teenagers. because it's usually 3 am.

Currently on my third beer, but im pretty sure I lost one of them and didn't finish it. to be fair most of my evening consisted of drinking sangria while napping. alex the cat is looking at me disaprovingly. Why did my roomates give the cat my name, I'll never know. Probably for the lulz. Spoiler alert, it leads to some confusion.

I'm pretty sure I'll forget half of my laundry outside where I left it to dry. I'd go and get it now, but the minibar is closer, and I've got a friendly bottle of southern confort and enough fireball to level...hum... things. I'll start with a comfy drink, and downgrade to randomly taking cinnamon whisky mouthfuls once the former kicks in properly.

I poor myself a good bottle of drink, and prepare to download the safe. It's just easier to do it now. I haven't really read what happened before. something about drowning? heck i know this thread, stuff is always drowning. Or maybe I read it and dont fully remember. doesn't matter. there will be troubles, and i wont understand what's going on. If you think I'll take the time to improve things, you certainly haven't been paying attention to my last drunken turns.

WTF, download the SAVE. Altho here's a safe if you wanna download it.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
(This specific safe is used to store sentries.)

Stuff is downloaded. Was too lazy to get some schweppes from a random stash, so i mixed my southern with... hawaian punch, berry blue blast drink. It,s as unimpressive as you could have guessed. On an unrelated note, when random people come to your appartment and ask why you are getting drunk alone on weird mixes, there is no right answer. Not even ''Its for a acsII game, you guys''. Meanwhile my new phone ran out of battery and im supposed to read the booklet to figure out wether or not i have to charge it fully, or leave it there for 10 hours like my old one. Poor timing, mister cellphone. Your battery lifespan shall suffer from it in a distant future.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2015, 06:40:16 pm by Taupe »
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Random_Dragon

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This should be Fun. I also has mead and a third of a bottle of Southern Comfort. May or may not take a turn sometime.

Taupe

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Begin the turn proper. Everything is working because somehow my old utility pack is compatible. Let's rock.

I actually spend about some time talking with my roomate's twin about the fort. He comes and check whats going on because i spend about some time (but less) muttering ''its so beautiful''. Because it is. the place is flooded and its not by magma. Incomprehensible. Slim Alexis is also impressed (names are hard), but asks why the water is filled with animal traps. i try to explain what the original builders were thinking by pointing at my own sorry state. he understands. we understands. Then i look at the fort and nothing makes sence.

Why is there water. why are there channeled strips everywhere filled with water. is someone building a giant tree? i see a crannog filled with hen houses (you know what i mean) with a pool on top.

it's so beautiful.

so beautiful.

I dont understand any of it.

so i poor another drink.

*     *      *

there is one thing I can actually do that wont fill the place with water (more). (man, i love those round text things. i also forgot their name. I'll call them circlemas. cause they are circular).
That thing is obviously to proclaim one dwarf as a savior. A our lord.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
a hero is reborn.
I'm so excited, i stab myself with a microphone and stats bleeding everywhere. By reflex, i start licking the thing. I'm drinking my own blood. And i dont even like blood!
Still trying to understand what happens in this fort.
wait, how do you pierce a fucking hand with a microphone. sence, this makes none. maybe im too sober. lets make a new drink.

*   *   *
so there,s no scweppes left somehow. no way im touching that terrible blue drink again. Why did i not learn from the shaq soda. Blue drinks are the worst. What else do i have? Ice tea? no, ice tea + southern looks dumb. Im not gonna google it. I cant open another tab. i just declared ''flushing the toilet without injuring myself'' a total victory. If i look back i am lost. dragons. a monster. Southern confort plus monster.
Its a texas chainsaw Massacre. Im so productive. New drinks. Oh my wows. this thing. its the best. Use the sugarfree white one. its so good.
back to the fort. Still no sence made.

*   *   *
honestly I dont know what garnierite is. Its green, and beautiful. Probably not a gem, yet i want it. i want it so bad, ill order some exacatavet, turned into blocks, and then ill put awesome leaves atop the magical tree.
quick, must remember how to set workshops to take only from one thing.
logic dictates that i dig in the caverns where thers tons of it, instead of drilling into the workshops district wall. watch all the fucks i give in action.
I investigate further down, to see whats there. maybe more garnierite?
Oh, its hell.
nevermind
the workshops will do fine.

On a slightly related note, anyone knows what those do? speak now before my dwarves run to the levers and find out by themselves.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
nevermind, it says ''drain water'' altho my hopes that it actually does so are slim at best. If my hopes were a fashion model, they would be thin enough to make the cover.

*   *   *
I found the dinning hall. so beautiful.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
to think someone with a state of mind such as mine could design something so beautiful is unconceivable (small circlumas here, its conceivable but not for me).
Im like, i should design something like this but i can barely ackowledge my need to visit the pee room (or whatever its called, fuck names) and remember where it is. to think someone made such a beautiful room, wow. Much swag, such pillars, very neat. I cant design anything as incredible, but i can improve it. soon, we will have garnierite EVERYTHING. (small circlumas here, except camels, garnierites camels would be silly)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I can,t find the workshops anymore.
*   *   *
TheFlame52!!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
you have been dorfed using an advanced redundancy system. Should any of your three dorfs die (small circlumas here, very likely) The rest of your name will live on.

no progress whatsoever. spent five minutes singing the theme of samurai Jack while brawling ghost ninjas.

*   *   *

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
the wall has been pierced. Found the workshops again. Look at what was unveiled. so much Garnierite. Is the world ready for so much garnierite? I cant tell. but the show must go on.
i order it mined
im crying.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
wait. someone filled the nearby sotckpile i made with claystone. What claystone6 its not garnierite, is what it is, ill tell you that much. Gotta edit the stocjkpile. I look everty where, find it not. Wait.
Garnierite is a METALIC ORE?
I just knew it was the best. guys, garnierite is a metalic ore of all things. Can you imagine?
...
i have no idea what that implies.

*   *   *
A elven carvan from something something has arrived.
what do they want. What can i trade them?
They are after our garnierite!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I try to screenshot their arrival but the message vanish. How volatile
then i spill some of my texas chainsaw massacre. Not all of it.
Its on my keyboard. I aint wasting that shit. I start licking my keyboard. And i dont even like keyboards!
Even my drink is volatile now.
fucking elves.
you aint getting my garnierite.
you are getting my spears.
*   *   *

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
not sure wjhere the elves are, actually. We have 4 squads. i send them all against the garnierite stealers. Protect the green metalic non-economic ore! At all costs. I dont know where the elves are so i just rectangle murder everything on the map. its not like we need wombats, seriously. they,d just take our garnierite if they could.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Plus, they get a +2/+2 for every enchant creature they have. better kill them now.

*   *   *
Visit from a friend!
he came to my house, to say hi on his way. not sure im well enough to receive guests. si i made a prank. he lended me his Final Fantasy tactics disk last week. except last monday during the 4/20 someone broke the mario kart 8 cd. My roomate was showing the friend our cd, broken. I come out with my own, old and broken FFT cd, stating: sorry bro, all the disks in the consoles were broken that day somehow. Im so sorry.
he dies inside
I wait an eternity.
for non-drunks thats 30 seconds.
then i tell huim, just kidding, thats my old own cd, its been broken for years yours is fine.

Im like, a dick.
*   *   *

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
by checking the logs, i find that we have recently been fighting creepign eyes.
whats a creeping eye
why is it in the frotress
Why are we fighting it
where is it now
...
the fort is no longer beautiful.
*   *   *

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I tell people to bash the elves for no reason, but all i see in the unit screen is a bunch of sloth monsters from the underwiorld. why is it there. why is it a thing
why do we have sloth monsters from the underworld.
Probably something to do with the ''hell'' thing i spotted earlier.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
i expect people to fight elves, or maybe like wombats, but more texts about creeping eyes pop up.
i dont think i like this place anymnore.
I am torn between heroicly saving this fort, and doing jack shit becauser im  piss drunk.
still, i feel like my writing is surprisingly efficient right now. im like, a drunken virtuosi.
*goes to play something on the piano*
yeah, hum, disregard that,.

*   *   *

No one is fighting elvesd. everywhere, creeping eyes.
there is only creeping eyes and sloth monsters.
what scares me is that, the messages about fighting updated, but i dont see any creeping eyes in the unit list.
theyM're just,,, there, somewhere.
in the background my other roomates are back i hear the twin say ''my brother should come back,. They speak the same language, they understand each other,.
this is how obscure dwarf fortress is. People are confused by it, itsd another language,.
Oh.
and this.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
this happens.
Are the caverns sealed?
I hope they are.

*   *   *

Man im so wasted. Just spent like, some random time talking to firnds. cant play anymore. must sleep. hope you punks like pterosaurs.

will post sav when im somewhat coherent.

here's the save y'all.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2015, 10:30:28 pm by Taupe »
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Taupe

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Quote
Dorf all the things.
...Busy barfing all the things.
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