Ok.
I'm drenched, somewhat drunk and partially covered in mud. I suppose you know what that means? I don't think that I have any choice but to take a turn
For some reason I thought that going for a long walk in a small drainage basin nature reserve was a good idea to do while tipsy. Naturally all the marked paths are for chumps. Rough terrain is where the fun is at. Except, oh, the sun was setting and I had never actually been there before and the paths kept making 90degree turns and dissappearing. How nice. Well, I'm not lost. I never get lost. I know exactly where I am. I was "momentarely uncertain of the optimal path to where I was going". Couldn't exactly make a beeline to my bike since there was swamp, small ponds and whatnot on the way. Ofcourse I got out but got rather wet on the way back
Now then,you might wonder what connects all this to dorf fort and why the hell I'm telling you this.
In the middle of the reserve there was a patch of dry terrain surrounded by mud and murky water on which sat a hut. A damn ugly fortress made out of rotting wood, nails and random bits of plank. Something that looked like it was constructed either by drunks or 10 year olds. Possibly both. Something built by local kids I presume though why would they bother building it so far from everything is beyond me. The whole pile of rotting timber kind of annoyed me since it was illegal to build something like that in a nature reserve.
Now I know what elves must feel like when they come to our fortress. A chaotic pile of rotting wood slapped together by bunch of drunks in the middle of a forest and surrounded by water and littered remains of trade goods.
Anyway, I don't currently have any proper wine so all I have for drink tonight is
kilju . PLENTY of kilju. Not some yeasty crap but clear as water and around 15%ABV.
Hmm...
kilju is mostly drunk by low-income people or heavy drinkers, such as students and alcoholics
..How rude.
Starting up DF
Pouring a glass. Oh, the glass is too small? I'll just have to drink the excess booze.
DF open
Trees. There are too many trees. ALmost blocming depot access. Wait, the depot access is infact blocked. By statues that someone decided to build on the way.
We need a road. A wooden road
DUCKBOARDS! or what ever they are called in english.
Anyway, trees..
Mortal evemies of the dorfkind. Vile spawns of evil and all things elvish. trees can never be trusted. Silentry they wait and stalk usm, always one step behind our dorfs, watching and laying in wait. Gorwing in numbers and strenght. Waiting for just the right moment to attack and finish us off when we least expect it.
Tp sprread their evil green influence of growth and elves over our lovely mountainhomes.
WHY THE HELL DID WE BUILD A FORTRESS IN TH EMIDDLE OF A HUGE FOREST?!? Who thought it was a good idea? A den of those foul wooden thralls of elvenkind.
For each one our lumberdorfs cut two more will take its place. Better just stay under a roof of rock (and water in our case) and if forced to enter the vomit-inducing abovelands we must tread carefully AND CARRY A BIG AXE!
Erm.. sorry., Got a bit carried away there. There are too many trees. They will soon block caravan access. Will build a road.
Lets see whats blocking the depot access. A statue of Taupe rising a ring made bu Shoruke, lord of the wang.. To the trash wtith the statue
wait, the water drainage stopped? Was it soemthing caused by the levers taupe oulled?
Time to do something with that pumpstack too.
weööl, i'll statr by finishing the penis-shaped tower and filling it
How about a perpentual waterfall? we have the technology. We can build an automatic waterwall>>
Wait, all of the old bedrooms have been removed but the furniture is still there? Reassigning the as bedrooms.Just because we have a few dozen fancy rooms doesn't mean that we have enough rooms. Waste not, want not. Wait? even the dorms have been dismantles? WHY? We need dorms incase of exscess dorfs. Just build mro beds instead of destroying the old ones..
Seems like the dorfs are still eating in the old diningroom (which is much nearer to the stockpiles by the way. Not going to touch that. Not my project. Better not mess with other people's fancy thingies
Migrants. Quie a few of them and rthey are all bringing cows and pigs.. How dwarven
..the migrants just keep coming. 77 or so dorfs now. We will really need those old bedrooms AND DORMS now or else they will sleep in the mud
Oops, cavein. Shit happens. Some fllooding too it seems
why are there trogolytes in the fortress?
trying to dind how they got in. Also removing those walls to our drinkinghole. Playing it save isn't fun and we need a fishing/drinking hole
Wait? We have elcves? An elf infestation? Damn vermin
wait, what are you doing in there? How did you even manage to get in there?
Damn dorfs. doesnt even appear to be drowning or anything. just chilling down tehre, occasioanlly swimming
do feathertrees have eggs?
the last pump of the stack isnt automated. Guilding gears to make it so. We need to pump water. WE HAVE NO NEED FOR A WAY TO STOP THE PUMPING! The pumps shall pump!
oh, and I'm prtty ready for filling the tower of dong with water. for some reason. *shrug*
WE NEED MORE POWER! Make it so!
minor leakage
ok.. some less minor leakage. No worries.
hurrah! it works. except it wasnt suppose to start yet. erm... well, the important thing is that the water is being flooded and pumped and it is all automatic
ok, it is filling now. except 2/3 of the water ends up.. elsewere. Oh well. acceptable margin of error
progress. also water
Time for food now. back in a bit
*******
Anyway, about the food:
I'm waging a war against my areries and i think that I'm winning.
red onion and olive omelet friend in puigfat and a sidedish of fried chantarelle mushrooms, onions, micned beef and fried salo. then some seasoned french toast fried in pugfat and butter with white beans and chilisauce
oh, and a meat pastry thingie and a piece of sausage. i wonder if ithat is enough greese. perhaps i should fry some bacon too...
i think i should drin kmore. i,m not sure if im drunk enough for this meal
seems like taupe stopping the water draining finally stopped the water from flooding the forges. all we need is a new staircase (the old is submerged)
wait, have to stop the water. STOP THE WATER! pull the damn lever dorfs!
threre is a ramp leading from that corpse stockpile to the lever below /why?). a bit of flooding
It is sink or swim Urist. SINK OR SWIM!
The fortress.
It's not flooding or drowning. It is just... marinating. in water
taking a short break to watch some tv (dnd hopefully drink a bit. dont want to appear too sover)
********
Darn it? Even the hospital has been removed? For what reason? Atleast build a new one if you remove somthing just because it is ugly
smoothing more walls and digging trenches
WHAT ARE THESE DORFS DOING IN THERE?!?
more dorfs. over a dozen dorfs trying to use the draionage pipe to go into the caverns
THEY ARE USING THE DRAINAGE FOR BLOODY CAVENR ACCESS FOR HAULING CRAÅ!
wait, not caverns. they are just hauling away the useless stone that has washed away in the pipe
bloody dorfs
camulus2 dissappeared
sealing thatr damn drainage with hatches. I won't harm your work drstrangelove. it will be connected to a lever like and work just as it did
now over 20 dorfs in the drainage pipe.. have to buidl the hatches
so many caveins...
fixing holes in the floro causes by the caveins. <<<z
i dont understand this forteress anymore...
more carpenters. will make teh fort mre.. carpentry
should -.-something? what was it?
but too drunkim sure that nothing horrible will happen if i dotn do it. cut corners. probably. yes
exceot ut would cause serious trouble if someonbe were to.fds f c
kobolds!
who was atgthe idiot who barfed through a grate directly into our watersource= bkiidt dirfgs
drstrangewerid found dead, horribly crusehsd
second lake progresserign
tecgno found dead akibg with dozen others
stop diedign in the beds. nobody is going to haul your carcass
dozens of dorfs trapped in the pepe. manaed to savethem
...and gavein on top of them. tey all daed now
what am i buildiugn? what?
hwo the hell did that dorf even get in theree? it is a large pillar thingie with no way up and o wy to get there from teh same level- dodged up awall and starved?
tapue and stupidhippies nearly killed themevles in a cavein
why is the staircase uffll of corpses?
3 gaveogres in the staircase? EEP!
miners butcher ogres
meh-. dorfs are expendable
migrsnts!
road done by the hway
mine damn it mine! i want to finsigh this
midsummer. did i start at early spring? there were elves
more crushed miners
even mroe crushed miners
oopsie?
simple meals? LAVISH MEALS! LACVISH CRUDNLE ROASTRS!
BOOM! dead dorfs. also one step closer to have igna second lake
oh, a beastie. killing dorfs
fodusn out where they were coming.
forges staircase. since the fllooing drom waterdraining stopped they started being able to use the staricase
not my fould this time then
it ist skillign all. blood killing more. whole staircaise covevred i nblood
eveyone. EVERYONE!
everupme si a solder. KILL IT!
THEW PARROT WILL bRING DeATRH TO US ALL!
TGHE DOOM PARROT!
WE MUST COLLAPSE THE FORTERESS TO CRUSH IT!
oh, it died
and we only lost 3/4 of our dorfs and hte rest are sick from the poison blood.
VICTORY!
absolutel no idea hwo killed it. died from exhaustion from havign to kill so many dorfs?
survivor notable kills
kamin9: mule, friendly dorf, crundle, reacher, trogolyte
ruhn2: 1 crundle. what a hero he is
kavatoodwarf: 6 CRUNDLES!
ignatzami_ nada
randomwyrm: creeping eye. hurrah?
rcdgames: *crundle tallow roast*
dorfy1: nothing
strangeweird. creeping eye
flame: nothing
rest are dead and car feif
My prognosis on 70% of the forts dorfs:
He's dead Jim
go mine you usesles bums
murderparrot 4riomede everyting. tryingt to finish digging then ending turn. it is eary autumnm
stupid dorfs fell int ehtelake. try to use stairs behind floweing water instead of ones further away that are dry
miasma everwhere. water will wash away the blood and crap
why dorfs, why do you try to ross flwign water? flowing water
it is BEAUTIFYUL!
lake is filling with water and drownign miners. it is beautfdul
thats all vomit. again
dorf named "WE SHALL ALL DROWN!" went moody
...a fish disector wholse main function is to vomit due to FB poison
how witting name though
bpwuerrs workshop
fmale FDLAEM FLAME just drowned himself'
a rutherer in the diningroom. terriefied of the vomiting drunken dorfs bleeding and dieing all rournd it
bulkding destroyers have destroyued all teh doors to caverns
WHICH IDIOT USED DOORS INSteAD OF BRIDGES TO SEPARATE THE CAVENRS!?!
oh well, it is fun
well, in the end o just dont catre>>
lvoely. lovely., miners mine one square, step in the flowing water, drown and a next miner take stheir place and drowns after one square
water is purple with..
plums? prumpel plum CONTAMINANT?!?
red contaminat? PERSIMMONS? WHAT?
fruitfortress from now on
..now the surviving miners have developed swimming and just keep swimming around..
must drink mroe
must wait until tha lake fill so next player doesnt have to suffer the FPS loss
horrified ruthrener fleeing from a tame hyena. why do we ave hyenas?
so many salmon. the flowring water is trapping all the salmon in the lake. heh heh
dörf caravcab is here.
still autumn
wagons are using the riverc channels to move around....
WHY?
THEY IMMEDIATELY DECIDED TO LEAVE!
pme of them started drowning so they got scared? eh? dudbt event start unloading their goods
yep, a wagon ..drowned? got destroyed on the edge of water?
oh well. free crap to loot
WHY THE HELL DOES A CARAVAN USE A RUNNING RIVER TO MOVE AROUND ISNTEAD OF A SMOOTH; WOODEN ROAD!?!
stop vomiting on the occupied coffins
hey, ican rig a self-flushing refuse stockpile. just flood the stockpile and let it flow into the lake. brilliant.
moody vomitdwarf still collecting crap
fps realy low
vomit EVEYRWHERE
fb blood making everyone vomit and everuoen spreads it furthrer
YET ANOTHER FB! DAMN IT
now we have burning geese and hyenas running aroudn'
im sure the problem will sovle itself
berdooms are burning
dorfs are too contaminated by vomitparrot to fight properly
...a diplomat left unhappy. oh, how horrifying. boohoo
it wont die
help
¨
4 dorf, one is moody
collapse the fortress? no?
only lever i have availkable
used dfhack ot turn site int oa lair. crap wont get thrown around when reclaiming
one dorf. vbeast sealed in stairway
wat for migrants?
our pumpstack is full of salmon
thats it folks
pic31
RECLAIM!
RECLAIM UNTIL THE BEAST IS DEAD!
hey, ican rig a self-flushing refuse stockpile. just flood the stockpile and let it flow into the lake. brilliant.
moody vomitdwarf still collecting crap
fps realy low
help
RECLAIM!
RECLAIM UNTIL THE BEAST IS DEAD!
EVERYONE IS A HAMMERDORF!
GO!
the BEAST!
PULL THE LEVER URIST!
what the fukck just happened? Half a z-level forth of water dissappeared and dorfs are swimming
does fire avaporate water? fkanebreatgubg fb
HOW DID THE FB GET ACROSS THE WEATER? IT IS A LOSTER! LOBSTER! IT SWAM! DAMN!
cant beat it
IT ESCAPED TO CAVERNS!
VICTORY. almost.
only two doefs left are drowning in the lake
they just keep swimming...
now ghost yoink appeared and attacjed on the them
soon they will be skillfull enough to get out of the river
oh, a demon.
erm..
it killed the fb. now it is brooding in the diningroom
dorfs kleep swimming. skilled alreadt
ofcourse they wont swim to the staircase or ramps that lead away from teh lake...
one climbed out!
...and ran straight into the demoninfested bedrooms to sleep no matter what i ordered
if only could get rid of that bedroomdemonf
sleeping in the wagon. only one thing to do now
PULL THE LEVER URIST!
nono urist. no time for cleaning. pull the lever
which lever? it doesnt matter! they all destroy it
..wait
if urist pulls while being the only dorf and still inside that will make the.. fort crumble?
DONT PULL IT URIST!
NOOO! STOP!
demon seems to be ahhpy to stay where it is
aöö grates destroyed. cant reach teh caverns anymore
'recöaom,e and building a grate
reached hospital. trying to seal the demon
he is sleeping. cant wait.
argh
he is sleeping on a huge pile of skeletons...
STOP RESTING! Yoink is slowly kuilling you while you sleep! Dam nt yoink! dorf survieves a demon and a fb and gets killed by yoink in his sleep. ripped of his leg. now mangled hsi arm
..he is slowly dieing on hte floor. thanks alot ghost yoink
ghost taupe is throwing tablesd
jave to abandon.
second reclaim. will be last
s otired
so tired
sealed the part hwere te demon used to be. not sure where it is now
nothing bad seems to be happening. good. can go ot bed thn
due to me being a filthy cheater and turning the site into a lair most of our crap should still be where we left it. even a few crundle biscuits i presume
trying to upolaod the save. pictures tomorrow. bed now
http://dffd.bay12games.com/file.php?id=10818
Poll
Author
Topic: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [We Hath Become Death, the Destroyers of Worlds] (Read 1162196 times)