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A new drunken world is imminent. Should we try a modded world?

Yes!
No!
I am small and neutral, like Switzerland

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Author Topic: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [We Hath Become Death, the Destroyers of Worlds]  (Read 548597 times)

MarcAFK

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well there is a lot of innuendo hidden in those movies. they do haveca moviecabout seven dwarves too.

i can just imagine a whooe movie where the female leads sing about how wood is awesome.
Sounds like something a filthy elf would say.
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They're nearly as bad as badgers. Build a couple of anti-buzzard SAM sites marksdwarf towers and your fortress will look like Baghdad in 2003 from all the aerial bolt spam. You waste a lot of ammo and everything is covered in unslightly exploded buzzard bits and broken bolts.

Taupe

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Are you taking a turn in an hour??? Cause I am!!!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So it's been a couple of weird fucking days.

monday My roomates came back from the rockfest event, and i assumed they'd be fucking dead and unwilling to do stuff. At the same time most of my mondays involve coming back from my week of work and having little sleep time accumulated from the previous days. all of this led to the reasonable assumption of ''I'll drink a bit, nobody will be up to stay late, and I'll be drunk for cheap and alone''. But then my roomaes are like me so they dont give any fucks. We stay late, they play games while i drink a bottle of wine plus many more stuff, and end up with 5 hours of sleep and a hangover. Tuesday we travel to the woods where i aspend two hours on a trampoline and then we do drinking games around the campfire. Then I go to sleep nowhere. Litteraly. Everyone is too drunk to build the tent, or remember to bring it, so i just loot my host's towel cabinet, make a pillow out of those, and build my own bed under the compute desk. Pėople spend three hours talking and listening to my reply and nobody has any idea where i actually am.

I'm sneaky.

I was also pretty high. I havent taken much drugs in my life, not even pot, so being fucking stoned is a new experience to me sometimes. Here is an exchange

Me: i dont wanna drink too much (while filling a bowl with ice cream
someone in the background blah blah blah fries
me: thats silly because you cant...  you cant... you cant...drink fries, cause they are liquid. (i apparently get very euphorical and amused at nothing when high)
*try to come up with an example, but spend 5 minutes choking on my pasty awkward mouyth alone in the kitchen while everyone is left. people go do other stuff and return, im still on that sentence
me:... thats like trying to drink ice cream. you cant, its not a liquid.
*realise mny ice cream has melted and IS a liquid by then*
*30 minutes of amasement staring at a melted ice cream bowl*

so that was tuesday. we drive a lot and i return quickly enough to receive guests, and we play drinking board games. Wer now have the Munchkin version of adventure time, which frankly is amazing. If you watch the show, every card is a very clever joke, and combining them while building up for victory is like playing a special episode full of nonsence. BONUS additional fun: take a shot of chocolate minth vodka whenever you gain a level. we played two games, and emptied two bottles of vodka. we are clinically dead. We also drank much beer, played LEGENDARY, and played another round of adventure time munchkin. Everyone is dead wasted now.

the good news is, James Baxter was victorious.

My guests stayed a bit, those who drove, and we played the wii U while they sobered up and i finished up the leftover drinks. I now have a free evening, dont work tomorrow, and this puitcher of sangrila is still begging for my attention. Obviously, a turn is in order. Bonus point, I still have the save. DOUBLE TURN.

well played, people, I'm the one spending a full turn dealing with the ghosts created by me playing a full turn without caring about ghosts.

Building a second taco would be very lame so i guess this time around i gotta try and understand how the non-outside part of the fortress works.

...boy.

This sangrila pitcher isnt big enough. Sidenote, someone gave me something called MDMA a few hours ago. It was suposed to make me feel like, i dunno, very chill and not worry about anything. It was adveritised to me as, essentially, ''basically the oposite of you normally''. Except its also suposed to dilate my pupils like a lot, but my pupils dont do that. I have three eye-based medical conditions, because i come from a very remote section of northern canada where ten different diseases exist because of consanguinity. no, my parents arent sibbling, but you have a location with not that much people, and it is devoid of new people and its 6 hours of driving from civilisation, so over the centuries strange things appear in the gene pool. My main problem is, im very bad at seing. not just bad eyesight, super bad eyesight. also my eyes dont adapt to light so they are always very thin and i dont get any sunlight in, so i cant see in dim environments. and i have cross eyes. so i cant judge distances, cant see far, cant see in bad lighting. Taupe is french of mole, which is what i am. thats my nickname. ugh. I lied its not just a color.

anyway, long story short, my eues are so bad that drugs, litterally, cannot dillate my pupīls. at best it makes them normal. so massive amounts of drugs gave me normal pupils and a normal attitude at best. im the worst person.


*   *   *   *

five seconds in, people are attached to bucklers. bad dwarves, bad. Well, at least your dumb pause and zooming reminds me that I have things to do IN the fortress, aka, slabing ghosts.
Also the Ice has melted. I litterally played this fort up to this very point and built a taco for three hours atop that very same melted ice cap and did not, in any way, notice that there was a l,iquid ocean there.
I guess history repeats itself.
Solid ice cream, melted
solid ice ocean, now a river
what is this, tuesday?
Hopefully I'm just riding the alcohol-fueled backlash of some unknown drug, so im safe.


Spoiler (click to show/hide)
here, I add a few craftdwarf worhskop, hoping to stop the ghosts. Then i look at the screenshot im uploading and notice like 5 more workshops litterally a few meters north of mine. Good job, drunk
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Looks like I'm not the only drunk Alex in this room. JUST look at him. Hi, Alex the Cat!

*   *   *   *   *

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Ok, few slabs have been queued. Obviously it is time to decorate the taco with some fillings. We'll need sweet, swett garnierite, so i start digging to the bowels of the earth. i located exactly one staircase that isnt filled with magma, so thats good I guess. Someonone should be in charge of making food and drinks and ensuring we dont die from lack of basic needs. Thankfully I'm confident in the previous player's willingness to set these craps up.

Oh wait i was the previous oplayer.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
well, reminder, here are our craftdwarf workshops, i can slab people if they die. No biggie.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
now, let us dig. also, fuck salt.


*   *   *   *   *

Oh wow, im drinking a pitcher of sangria, and instead of drinking booze im just... grabbing fruits floating in alcohol and drinking them. this is just delicious.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Speaking of liquids, my taco walls are partially made of melted ice. thats just uncool. gotta fix that now. I wish my taco didnt melt. Oh werll
Also, im pretty sure i spent a whole hour queuing and placing a single fucking table for lord mister taco. there are no table here. thats bad of me.
not that it matters, as im currently slabing the ghost of said mister tacos.
YUeah hum, gonna dwarf a few more dudes i guess.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
What matters is that we have a table, and some slabs now. go, progress!

*   *   *   *


Someone is posessweed. lol typo. Someone is overtaken by an unslabed ghost. Wait di you think i slabed the ghosts? now i slabed random people hopīng they were ghosts.
Double checking and cross-checking names?
what am i your fucking secretary, no.
we are doing this the simple way.
simple way is hope.
aka, lets hope the ghosts go away.

Also anyway, this texture pack. In Whisperwhip Im running 34.xx whatevs, and the dwarves look like dwarves, and dead people look dead. here the living people look dead and the ghosts have a forgotten beasts kin, which frankyl is a special kind of disturbing.
''hey dude, this guy is possessed''
Gee i know game he looks like an eviceration victim playing an Haloween black teenager dude. aka, hes fucking dead.
he's begun a mysterious construction. Like is.
like, imagine.
its not a mysterious construction.
If someone grabs wood and starts making a fucking bed out of it, it sort of looks like a bed.
you dont look at the dude building it and going, what a mnyse=tery.
like tis a bed people.
you can see that.
People should be like, yes, i see that you are building a bed, how unmysterious yet made of random materials.
i cant wait till this totally unmysterious construction which is obviously a bed is finished so i can see the engravingas and the gem details.


*   *   *   *   *

wow i wanted to do something.
but i forgot. instead ill do nothing.
thats one of my sdtrong suit really.
Anyway, ghosts are gone, good jobe hope.
Im talking about the concept not like, buffy's mom.
boy who names her child fucking buffy. shes like zero when she is born you cant tell she is gonna be buff as fuck
Or like dawn. Fucking hippies.
What do you expect, her name's fucking hope. They are like a multigenerational household of terrible nicknaming.

*   *   *   *   *


Wait


Wait

wait wait wait wait wait.

wasnt buffy's mom named Joy, or joyce? Or am i mixing things up with the pokemon nurse?
Life is strrrrrrraaaaaaange???!!@!???

Well it probably wasnt hope, because i hoped for something good and we got shit.
A plum wood splinter.
Ugh, wortkers, why cant you make furniture for lord mister tacos?

Oh right he,s dead they all dead.
thats what i wanted to do, dwarf more dudes.

*    *   *   *  *

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
DORFING!!!
Motherfucking dorfings.
everyone should be there!
did i check who was already in there instead oif dwarfing the whole list?
Definitely not
''Wait dude you just had to scroll down and...''
-... nope, too long.

Oh shit we have two lord mister tacos.
Which one is the real one?
and which is actually kirby copying lord mister tacos.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit

*   *   *   *   *


Traders!
All those Ys carrying strange caravans are mesmerising
I spend ten mknutes looking for the depot on the roof to realise the slopes lead DOWNSTAIRS.
all and out, a great avant-gout of mny awesome negociation and managing skills.
time for my first drunk trading session.
nah justjoking i play most of Whisperwhip half-drunk.
time for my first absolutely superwasted trade.
Like im actually going to trade and press buttons rather than drink vodka hoping the traders die.
or hoping the next person will trqade while i lock them upn in a wooden piramid.
im not good at menus is my point here.
wow 20 large gems. How. Who. How did we somehow
1-cue mining orders
2-locate gems
3-adequately mine gems
4-cut gems
5-repeat step 4 long enough to get a decent gemcutter
6-repeat 5 while keeping said gemcutter live.
wow guys goodjob. this fortress is amazing.

*BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARF*/


*   *   *   *   *   *

dONT VOMIT ON YOUR CAT.

*   *   *   *   *   *

'man cat was so drunk

no.

''Man, cat got wasted

no.

''Man, what the fuck the cat

no.

Yeah, the cat must have tasted something, he barfed on something

unlikely, too complex.

I'll just wait for people to notice, and pretend i know nothing.
Then ill say
''He must have licked something he shouldnt have and got sick''.
Nailed it.

*   *   *   *   *   *

Rest assured, its nothing dwarf-esque. He was just on me and blocked my 'M'going for a little clearing'' moment. now there is a bit of barf on the cat, and he ran upstairs. I cant exactly pursue him cause its 3 am and i dont see in the dark and people are asleep, so ill just hope itll work out. Cats are dumb we all know this. dont jump on a drunk person lap and poke him, cats. thats dumb.

No really it aint that bad. I,m not a terrible person.

*    *    *    *    *

Cats are gone. so are ghosts. Probably cause they start with the same letter.
Wait.
Dafuq did i just say.
Gotta erase gotta erase gotta erase.
Still need to remember trading. Ill get booze hopefully.
Trade trade trade,.
wait duingo braisnt thats HORRIFYING
I trade booze and food for gems. worth it maybe.
Also we have limke ten thousand grapes.
I guess that trader is secretly that guy thats like dionysos but with clothes.
...
The Sunmaid girl.


*   *   *   *   *

I want to stop pklaying but then i remember I havent done anything.
Its one of those turns you start not because you plan it, but because you are already drunk and the save is right there on your desktop.
what a man gotta do.
whats a DWARF gonna do.
drink.
drink sangria and run a fortreesss, thats what.
Im right between too drunk to stay awake, and way too drunk to properly achieve anything.
but then i remember my purpose.
i remember salad, and garnierite.
i need to stuff that taco
9no sexual inuendo yo)
Time tio continue this mine
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Exploratory mining.
emphasys on exploratory
double emphasis on drunk.


*   *   *   *   *


Been queuing a bunch of barrel.
need to put those grapes somewhere yo.
Is milk alcohol?
I got a lot of that
wait no milk is BAD.
I had this discussion with myself ten minutes ago about how fettucine alfredo is a terrible idea when drunk at 3 am.
So i guess milk isnt boze.
unless you forget about it.
anyway made a stockpile.
to find it, just look ''down in the mines'', in that area ''that seemed big enough.''
You cant miss it really.


*   *   *   *   *   *

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
found a gigantic new cavern in there whuile exploratory.
Ah who's laughing now, truly I be teh explorerz.
Behold, my power and such.
anyway, cancelled some digging, ordered a block placed to seal the thing for next players.
now i need to stop something else, which is me being drunk
I know my absolute limit before being fucking sick, and thats now.

actually that was 3 hours ago.
nevermind.
Still gonna upload the save and lay veeery low.
Avoid sudden movement.
Alcohol is like a t rex, itll get you if you move.
altho, in the books they explain how thats a misconception, and the trex still get them. that chick fights the guy who sbuys embryos from Denys Nedry and kick him from under the jee.
the Trex eats him
''hey its the trex!
-the trex is here, its the trex!
-no one cares...

rest in peace Dodson...

*   *   *   *

http://dffd.bay12games.com/file.php?id=10954

In retrospect i should have niot taken a turn.
I should have layed in bed, not drank an aditional pitcher of fucking wine sangria, and laid low.
but instead i got us a turn.
Make oif that what you will.

Goodnight.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2015, 01:22:21 am by Taupe »
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Naryar

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taco is empty now ?  ???

Taupe

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artefacy chair plus a table and bed.

MarcAFK

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Take it easy Taupe :s
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They're nearly as bad as badgers. Build a couple of anti-buzzard SAM sites marksdwarf towers and your fortress will look like Baghdad in 2003 from all the aerial bolt spam. You waste a lot of ammo and everything is covered in unslightly exploded buzzard bits and broken bolts.

Naryar

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yeah you must have taken the turn before mine... i did some modifications to the taco

no biggie.

Taupe

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Quote
yeah you must have taken the turn before mine...
True, true, I somehow missed it. Well not missed, I saw it, I just disbelieved it as an illusion or something. I guess people can use whichever taco they want. that's the beauty of Taco Bell :/

MarcAFK

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The table is nice, but taco demands spicy magma dressing.
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They're nearly as bad as badgers. Build a couple of anti-buzzard SAM sites marksdwarf towers and your fortress will look like Baghdad in 2003 from all the aerial bolt spam. You waste a lot of ammo and everything is covered in unslightly exploded buzzard bits and broken bolts.

Naryar

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The table is nice, but taco demands spicy magma dressing.

I tried, but not enough magma-safe materials.

Shoruke

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The table is nice, but taco demands spicy magma dressing.

I tried, but not enough magma-safe materials.

Eh, just use ice.
 :P
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The Unforgotten Beast, Shoruke, has come! A pale-skinned human. It has heterochromatic eyes and moves in an unpredictable manner. Beware its rapier wit!

Naryar

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The table is nice, but taco demands spicy magma dressing.

I tried, but not enough magma-safe materials.

Eh, just use ice.
 :P

Try and make a magmasafe pump out of ice. Or wood. Without removing temperature.

I'll just wait.

Taupe

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artefacts maybe?

Shoruke

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The table is nice, but taco demands spicy magma dressing.

I tried, but not enough magma-safe materials.

Eh, just use ice.
 :P

Try and make a magmasafe pump out of ice. Or wood. Without removing temperature.

I'll just wait.

Oh, don't be like that, ya prude.
Srsly tho use obsidian and iron, and maybe glass.
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The Unforgotten Beast, Shoruke, has come! A pale-skinned human. It has heterochromatic eyes and moves in an unpredictable manner. Beware its rapier wit!

Naryar

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artefacts maybe?

Yeah. An artifact enormous cork SCREW pipe section.

That's gonna happen.

Srsly tho use obsidian and iron, and maybe glass.

if only we actually had iron, i would have filled the taco with magma

glass ? you can make magmasafe pumps out of glass ?

Oh right. Well, it's not like I can remember that while drunk, right ?
« Last Edit: June 26, 2015, 06:42:48 am by Naryar »
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Shoruke

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Well, looking at one of the most important pages on the wiki only costs you one drink  :P
Except, I think that rule expired with the previous fort.
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The Unforgotten Beast, Shoruke, has come! A pale-skinned human. It has heterochromatic eyes and moves in an unpredictable manner. Beware its rapier wit!
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