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Poll

A new drunken world is imminent. Should we try a modded world?

Yes!
No!
I am small and neutral, like Switzerland

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Author Topic: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [We Hath Become Death, the Destroyers of Worlds]  (Read 577938 times)

Omeganaut

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [Splatteredmachines: The Room of EVERYWARE]
« Reply #3795 on: August 14, 2015, 09:26:11 am »

i decide that flapping my hands on the piano randomly for 5 minutes while screaming fiiiiiiish, fisssssh, fishfishfish is as goosd as any time to start this turn.
I couldn't have said it better myself!
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My extended sig
Includes the one and only !!DrunkFortress!! quote anthology.
Also: Bay 12 Archeology!  I bring the word of Bay12.  And the word is despair
I'm back, but I can't be consistant enough for games... Sorry!

Taupe

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [Splatteredmachines: The Room of EVERYWARE]
« Reply #3796 on: August 14, 2015, 09:39:30 am »

i decide that flapping my hands on the piano randomly for 5 minutes while screaming fiiiiiiish, fisssssh, fishfishfish is as goosd as any time to start this turn.
I couldn't have said it better myself!
Its as good as any a rendition of the windfish theme.

Yoink

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [Splatteredmachines: The Room of EVERYWARE]
« Reply #3797 on: August 14, 2015, 12:00:57 pm »

Ah, australia, a land where every insect bite could be the last. People could be dying any second, and they need to access their booze this instant.
Australia is a lot like dwarf fortress. Everything outside your walls want you dead, the nobility is really fucking annoying, and the place was founded by a bunch of misfits the old government obviously didnt want around anymore.

I wanna sig one of these but I can't decide which I like more. >.>
The actual drunk part of the turn is great so far, too! Even if I'm not sure quite what is going on/what Glorious Overseer is trying to achieve. 
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Taupe

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [Splatteredmachines: The Room of EVERYWARE]
« Reply #3798 on: August 14, 2015, 12:13:44 pm »

Aaaaand it's done. Save will be up shortly. great success. now we are much cooler than any other random stockpile.
Also wow, I made a random drawing of the dove based on what i assumed a dove from hell would look like but holy shit Look at the actual description of Fightscald.
« Last Edit: August 14, 2015, 12:33:47 pm by Taupe »
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Kamin

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [Splatteredmachines: The Room of EVERYWARE]
« Reply #3799 on: August 14, 2015, 02:40:35 pm »

Ah, australia, a land where every insect bite could be the last. People could be dying any second, and they need to access their booze this instant.
Australia is a lot like dwarf fortress. Everything outside your walls want you dead, the nobility is really fucking annoying, and the place was founded by a bunch of misfits the old government obviously didnt want around anymore.

I wanna sig one of these but I can't decide which I like more. >.>
So much this. Never did I know Taupe for such a wordsmith!

Chevaleresse

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [Splatteredmachines: The Room of EVERYWARE]
« Reply #3800 on: August 14, 2015, 06:30:36 pm »

Still lurking this thread, btw. The last turn was... something. I second the declaration of success.
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As it turns out, outpost liasons blend.
I guess there are more bronies than psychotic suicidal alcoholics. Who knew.

Th4DwArfY1

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [Splatteredmachines: The Room of EVERYWARE]
« Reply #3801 on: August 15, 2015, 06:05:02 am »

Thirded.

I laughed when Naryar turned out to be the only casualty.

Well, until the other 20 odd.
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Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination
  Th4DwArfY1 has claimed the title of Penblessed the Endless Fountain of Epics!
Sigtext!
Poetry Thread

Taupe

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [Splatteredmachines: The Room of EVERYWARE]
« Reply #3802 on: August 15, 2015, 02:51:34 pm »

My favorite part was reading all the combat logs from thw drowning demons. It mentionned no action or events, only philosophical quotes about life and death and the meaning of existence. Then they simply vanished. Seriously we went from 95 DEMONS to maybe 40, and all I had to do was fail at hydrolics.

Vyro

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [Splatteredmachines: The Room of EVERYWARE]
« Reply #3803 on: August 15, 2015, 04:01:58 pm »

I am taking a turn now. You know the drill, you love it.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
This stuff doesn't really look like an overwhelming amount of booze, but to my bizarre anatomy in general and savaged liver in particular this is a lot to go through. Wish me well. Also, I am terribly sorry about my absence last time, for I didn't remember how I got home when I did back then, and playing Dorf Fortress wasn't on the direct route of "Door-Bathroom-Bed". Now, without further ado, let the Drunk Fortress commence!
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Shoruke

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [Splatteredmachines: The Room of EVERYWARE]
« Reply #3804 on: August 15, 2015, 07:48:53 pm »

We now have a room filled with fire and webs and demons and half of everything we own is on fire forever
Only twenty five people died, evicerated in gruesome ways by doves from hell.
Half the fortress is filling with magma
Half of whats left is filling with water
I henceforth declare this turn a success.
Can we make, like, placards of this and post it on the thread so everyone browsing the Community Games board can see what this thread is like in brief? Because this so perfectly epitomizes Drunk Fortress. Well done.
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The Unforgotten Beast, Shoruke, has come! A pale-skinned human. It has heterochromatic eyes and moves in an unpredictable manner. Beware its rapier wit!

Taupe

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [Splatteredmachines: The Room of EVERYWARE]
« Reply #3805 on: August 15, 2015, 08:01:36 pm »

We now have a room filled with fire and webs and demons and half of everything we own is on fire forever
Only twenty five people died, evicerated in gruesome ways by doves from hell.
Half the fortress is filling with magma
Half of whats left is filling with water
I henceforth declare this turn a success.
Can we make, like, placards of this and post it on the thread so everyone browsing the Community Games board can see what this thread is like in brief? Because this so perfectly epitomizes Drunk Fortress. Well done.
Thank you, good sir. If people feel the same, then maybe we could put it somewhere in the OP or something. Or maybe on the trope page, I dunno.
« Last Edit: August 15, 2015, 08:36:11 pm by Taupe »
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Kamin

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [Splatteredmachines: The Room of EVERYWARE]
« Reply #3806 on: August 15, 2015, 08:21:12 pm »

I am taking a turn now. You know the drill, you love it.
FLOW, MY TEARS

Vyro

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [Splatteredmachines: The Room of EVERYWARE]
« Reply #3807 on: August 16, 2015, 04:16:30 am »

Alright, time to piece this shit together. However much there is.

Captain’s log, two minutes to midnight.
Boozing up, listening to good music. Hey, this really tastes like moose piss. Hate to be correct at times. Why am I such a cheapskate?
The drone is rising up. Forgot coke back at the kitchen, good. Pop that shit open! Satyricon s unusually relaxing tonight.
Bathroom breaks are becoming longer and harder The eyes hsve trouble fixing on one spot. Suddenly the moonshine is not that bad. I’m on my way therte/
alright, I think I’m ready to embrace the .. the situation. Loading up thr save

Fuck. Me/ Sideways. oh qhat could have possibly gone wrong since the last save I checked? Its not like smbody could mess up things more than they areafy were right? right? Now its like someone took a calculated feffrot of doing the most insane thing practically possibl and got away with it. I can imagine him walking on the balcony in his gown smoking a sig and going “yeahh now that’s how you screw a fortress man”. And now its my problem, that’s the wordst part. Hang on a minute now I need to stare all perp
lexed like at this giant misshapen suppository driven right up this fort’s cancerous butthole.
"i ave a badd feelin abotyut this"
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Alright so we’ve got no military or weapon-grade metals and we’ve just taken a cvrew of daemon s onboradrd. half died before in a drainage acident or whatevr. lovely stuff. the living uarters look like symmetry fucked insanity in some dark pub and never callld back and I need a leak brb
hurrrrrrrr alright. time ta dorf stuff
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
another life, another time
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
well no sh!t you need, go do ur job yiu asshole you, military brokers ar bad at ther job
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
who stle from them elves, again? Thode apple wood dildoes with pictures of elves on them are so damn valuable aren’t they? Oh, scuse me, *grown* apple woob dildoes! also, who in the right mind would stockpile bloody clay people? I need another shoit I do.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Alright, guess its time to build the good ol’ Godhammer pattern grinder.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
theres a llamah sleeping on a bed, yes, take it as you wikll
quantumizing stuff, this place is a mess. how do I quantumize stuff agaim?..
this geology iz kinda weiad, now im gonna flex my magic and.... .
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
welp, no fun allowed here, do we start droppibg dolden statues on demon heads or what?
OKAY I GET IT! the stomack gave me a subytle hint. I SHALT PREVAIL!!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Yesss, that’s what I’m talkig about – DA GODHAMMER!! IT MAEKS DA LAUD BOOM!
pets? nah, you aint allowed to keep any pets. This is a military outpost, not a petting zoo. You sjould ave applied to Bumfuck Rivendel in the forest along the way – the pointy pricks will surely appreciate ur effort and dietary variety you’ll bring. Dorks. Why can’t I feel my legs anymore?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
welp, at least this guy gt the right idea…
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
*insrt a loid sad fart sounsd hetere* geat, the game kinda.. ... deflated a bt.. DF!! Y U DO THIS TO ME?!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
urrrrrrghh… agaimn
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
OKAY OKAY I GET IT! son of a…

This concludes the intelligible part. Sometime later I ran the save on a stronger machine (and kinda sober). Spent about an hour before the game crashed trying to save. No error message, no nothing. It just ceased to be. Apparently it hates me for some reason.
I am officially never touching Shaman’s Blood ever again. The last time left me wondering who am I and why the stomach wants to exit via my throat with the rest of the digestive tract, for several hours. And that’s not the worst part even. This thing goes rather well but has a kickback like a sledgehammer to the balls, the forehead and then the balls again.

Sadly, I seem to be incapable of finishing the turn no matter how hard I try. Carry on, without me. Dorf me the guy from my story, the butcher that likes night ogres and respects the law. Put him as a Guard Captain (I AM THE LAW), give him an axe and make him train 27/7. Yes, a combat axe. What could possibly go worse than things already are?
Also, I'd recommend completing quantum-pile of everycrap and the Godhammer, unless you want to abandon or build something overly complicated instead that will surely misfire, and you like that kind of stuff.
« Last Edit: August 16, 2015, 04:19:35 am by Vyro »
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Taupe

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [Splatteredmachines: The Room of EVERYWARE]
« Reply #3808 on: August 16, 2015, 08:05:12 am »

...It was like that when I found it I swear.

TheFlame52

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Re: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [Splatteredmachines: The Room of EVERYWARE]
« Reply #3809 on: August 16, 2015, 08:16:48 am »

amazing performance, my good man
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