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Author Topic: The Bernd Project  (Read 1558 times)

Tasurinchi

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The Bernd Project
« on: May 18, 2013, 08:49:05 pm »

*Attention*This collective game is based on an Imageboard's jargon, so expect highly absurd and looser tropes. There's high chances of finding autism and asperger related activities, and it might be contagious after long exposures (generally, an mnoths latests)
 
Current voted specifications:
-No Aquifer.
-Lots of minerals. And flux
-Savage/Desert/Tropical biome in the hope of good pets (I call forth Alpacas).
-River
-There be cliff.


Le Fanny Bernd Adventure


After so many years of no gf, weary from NEETdom, we, the Bernd, decided to leave behind the Mountainhome. If we couldn't adapt to the life of dwarven society, perhaps, we should found our own dwarven society, rite? So we got into that project, we even lifted, we contacted Bernds and Bernadettes around the world, sending the word that that the Berndtopia was possible: A place were shy, asocial people, willing to live in soviet-like conditions of overcrowding, could drink booze and make autistic contraptions or learn demoded hobbies all day long with their friendly Bernds.

 Several hours were spent practising and training in the basic of societal sustaining, hundreds of manuals downloaded from the Cavenet later gave us the knowledge to draw the basis for our society, we distributed possitions, and I got the leading role, since I'm the only one that doesn't stutter.

The plan is simple: Only seven guys are willing to leave everything behind right now. The remaining assholes will only come once they see anything stablished. We can count in an assortment of friendly support networks thanks to the many different political associations Bernds count with. That would show problematic in the long run, I'm sure of it.

I hope this log will ensure the trascendence of the Bernd projet.

1st Winter:
-First Entry:
Everything is ready, we've gathered in the main entrance of the Fortress. It's the first time I see the sun as far as I can remember. It's awful. A couple guys start puking. The lumberjacks coming back from their morning turn point at us and laugh. One of them whispers "good riddance", I tried to assert my newly gained authority, but I only managed to yell "You too!, *sigh*.

-Second Entry:
We go on. We choose a place not so far, but disgusting enough to keep those neuro-typicals out of reach. It's an spot in the Tolishnish, known as "Toptrade", from it's rich mineral deposits. Fortunatly, despite that, the wilderness outside is awful enough to keep undesirable visits far from us, so as long as we stay in the cozyness of our sovietic underground commie-block, everything will be fine.

-Third Entry:
We've arrived. Not a single soul around, I guess that's fine as we settle. Dense snow covers everything and the water sources are frozen solid -no problem, we'll hit the vodka.
There's several layers of clay and soil before any solid rock, but to our amaze, the second layer of rock is hematite. While excavating the mainhall we found bitominous coal and tetrahedrite. JACKPOT!



-Fourth Entry:
Some time later, nasty undead raven attacked the carpenter. The dogs dispatched him soon enough, but they got eventually stomped by the miriads of raven remainings coming back to live. How predictable.
Perhap will have to hit toward the lava sooner than expected, this things are a boomer. We lost the cat to those faggots, and he rose back, which freaked the hell out of this Bernd, that's been putting ugly faces ever since. Life's hard Bernd, life's hard.

Autumn:
The river unfroze while I was outside trying to put those nasty ravens (and raven remainings, of course), away from what was left of the caravan. Terrible error, I've been stuck in this side of the river for weeks, hopefully I've got a large chunk of the provisions with me. Simply put, no one dares to build a bridge or carve a channel since there's a band of undeads turning around the entrance, and I've got the only weapon.

I've had to command everything yelling from one side to the other. Several veins have been struck and stripped of their wealth, and the plantations are ripe of fruits. Also, the caverns were unusually high, which meant an access somewhat safer wood.
Some cute creature from the other side of map attracted the attention of our beloved vultures, which gave the workers enough time to pave my way back into the fortress. To my surprise, there's some cute nice quarters



2d Entry:
I'm fed up of wood cutting. That's it. I won't cut any wood, ever more. I'm serious about that, and no-one will have my axe. I don't know why but I don't care, wood is for the weak, ain't it?

Instead of wood, let's focus on water, we're digging the first channels for the hydraulic system. Pressure is gonna do it's magic providing us with safe energy and clean water. Also a nice waterfall to clean your mind from all those above-ground abominations. A nice waterfall in the middle of the Mainhall, and a source of never ending energy, true autistic engineering!

3d Entry:
Finally! The word went that we had a thriving little community far away from society, and today we received our first inmigrant wave. I had to deal with a bunch of undead boars that were camping outside the entrance. I guess it was just about time to build an hospital, wasn't it? Fuck this job, fuck my every bone.

They look disoriented, and they barely say a word, but they sure feel at home. Additional quarters were carved for them, and with them, profiting from the new hands, we started the metallurgic industry. You can always trust in the rhythmical and persistent way of life of Bernd, to keep things working like a clock. One of the new ones will be me replacement while my bones get back into place, he's in full ironclad iron/bronze armor, so the death little shits barely scratch him. Hurray!

Forges, smelters, klin and goods depot:

Further expansions were made

4th Entry:
We got hit by a couple of snatchers lately. They fell into our traps, which have got full of animal body parts of those that crawl around the fortress. Since killing them and dropping them outside it's both dangerous and futile, as they'll crawl back, we've decide to carve a long-ass pit sort of keeping them trapped somewhere safe. And we'll threw in those disgusting greenskin bydlo too.

Awful mistake, it wasn't deep and a miner carving a vein hit the deposit, freeing a survivor. We and my new pal, now dressed as Panzers came to face him. Everything was going right at first, until he got his little knife under my gauntlet, and cut every 'till the bone. Then again to my friend. I panicked and conscripted everyone, who dispatched him with their fists, then the place was blockaded and the pit further dug.

5th Entry:
I lost mobility of my hand. No more faps ;_;. Fearing the deposits from being inefficient against the cave-undead, we struck down to the magma sea, and established some smelters and forges there. In-ci-ne-ra-tion. ... I still wonder how to thought.

In our way there, we meet these nice little bat people, tending to their own businesses. We kept the forges producing steel armors and silver maces just in case.


Spring
First Entry:
More migrants, this time it was much easier to clean the outside. This people has lots of stocked anger, and bludgeoning little creatures seems to relieve them. More habitations, and a Pantheon were build.
(at the center, the waterfall surrounding the well can be seen. Water is evacuated throught a WC-like pipe, that keeps permanently three stages of water, as cistern during winter).


Sadly, not so much time later, an uninvited guest came to the party. It wasn't much of a problem for our steelclads, but an scale rose from the death and killed an spearman. Who would subsequently heavily damage a tresher, after jumping out of his tomb. The whole of the Pantheon was barricaded in cage traps, and the speardwarf is kept caged along other unpitable monsters (flying undead, mostly).


Just in case, I had me built a modest mausoleum with some surpluses that were hindering movement along the fortress. Nothing that will be missed

In the other side, a herd of healthy boars came from the nice side of the forest, which we trapped and now keep, ready to be trained.

6th Entry and last:
An emissary from the Mountainhomes, having learn from our success, came today with a caravan, offering us a trading contract. They didn't spected to meet the remainings of a death Forgotten Beast wandering around the Fortress, which to our dismay, meant them running in the opposite direction of the entrance. Very little arrived to the trading depot, hopefuly they didn't added any more torments to the army of undead.

The time is coming for me to cede my post, and to fall back to my mere military and lumberjacking duties.


(((https://mega.co.nz/#!8kBgWBgB!NJNhm2k-qZ0zP8V2jxT2PT7EYDJzrruTLOE51ODM6SE)))

Here goes the save.
« Last Edit: May 22, 2013, 07:59:03 pm by Tasurinchi »
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TheAwesomePowerOfOxiclean

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Re: The Bernd Project
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2013, 10:07:16 pm »

Big Tex reporting in. Get the defenses up because I am rusty.  Some meat animals would be nice too, I like to butcher stuff.
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Temujin by any other name

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Re: The Bernd Project
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2013, 10:46:13 pm »

I will take a year too, I will do my best to add to any existing defenses.

Our Fort will make a beautiful pyre.
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Kankermongol

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Re: The Bernd Project
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2013, 06:39:02 pm »

Britball here.

Can't play for another two weeks, keep making threads though and I'll get involved.

note I rarely play too much past the initial setup of the fort, so my year could be fun as fuck.
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