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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 654421 times)

Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3150 on: February 02, 2016, 03:06:44 am »
Q. What do you get when you combine Joseph Smith with Timothy Leary?
A. The LSD Church
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Insanegame27

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3151 on: February 02, 2016, 03:19:30 am »
Arnold Schwarzenegger auditioned in a musical about musicians once, when asked what part he wanted he stated
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Power/metagaming RL since Birth/Born to do it.
Quote from: Second Amendment
A militia cannot function properly without arms, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without tanks and warplanes, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear tanks and warplanes, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without ICBMs, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear ICBMs, shall not be infringed.

BlackFlyme

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3152 on: February 03, 2016, 06:31:08 pm »
Did you know I was cesarean born?

You can't really tell; although when I leave the house I go out the window.
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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3153 on: February 03, 2016, 06:35:47 pm »
Quote from: BlackFlyme on February 03, 2016, 06:31:08 pm
Did you know I was cesarean born?

You can't really tell; although when I leave the house I go out the window. cut a hole in the wall.

FTFY
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on May 25, 2013, 11:59:58 pm
Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

Quote from: FallacyofUrist on January 06, 2023, 03:52:40 am
the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3154 on: February 03, 2016, 08:06:45 pm »
Doctor" "I'm afraid it's the big C...It fell off the sign at Kentucky Fried Chicken and bonked your wife on the head"
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Bumber

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3155 on: February 06, 2016, 07:02:42 pm »
Stolen from the internet:

Why did the man dump ground beef on his head?
He wanted a meatier shower.
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Quote from: Ispil on August 30, 2018, 01:17:08 pm
Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

TheDarkStar

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3156 on: February 06, 2016, 08:29:27 pm »
Why does contour integration over the region of Western Europe equal zero?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Don't die; it's bad for your health!

Quote from: tuypo1 on August 24, 2014, 09:25:26 pm
it happened it happened it happen im so hyped to actually get attacked now

TheBiggerFish

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3157 on: February 06, 2016, 08:50:14 pm »
Ha!
Nice one!
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Sigtext

Quote from: Hanslanda on April 12, 2017, 09:32:01 pm
It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

Orange Wizard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3158 on: February 06, 2016, 08:59:23 pm »
But there are loads of Poles in the UK and such, so that joke makes no sense
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Quote from: Loud Whispers on June 04, 2016, 07:55:42 pm
Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Quote from: Cinder on July 21, 2016, 09:25:53 pm
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

TheDarkStar

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3159 on: February 06, 2016, 09:13:35 pm »
It's not my joke; I just came across it in a book.
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Don't die; it's bad for your health!

Quote from: tuypo1 on August 24, 2014, 09:25:26 pm
it happened it happened it happen im so hyped to actually get attacked now

Insanegame27

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3160 on: February 07, 2016, 02:59:01 am »
What do you get if you cross a repentant and unrepentant man? Jesus, since he was crucified, or crossed with two men, one repentant and the other not.
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Power/metagaming RL since Birth/Born to do it.
Quote from: Second Amendment
A militia cannot function properly without arms, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without tanks and warplanes, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear tanks and warplanes, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without ICBMs, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear ICBMs, shall not be infringed.

Bohandas

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3161 on: February 07, 2016, 03:01:43 am »
Q.) What's found near Santa's workshop and can't screw in a lightbulb?
A.) The North Pole.
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NEW Petition to stop the anti-consumer, anti-worker, Trans-Pacific Partnership agreement
What is TPP
----------------------
Remember, no one can tell you who you are except an emotionally unattached outside observer making quantifiable measurements.
----------------------
Έπαινος Ερις

Egan_BW

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3162 on: February 07, 2016, 03:10:20 am »
A.) Santa's Penis.
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Insatiable consumption. Ceaseless motion. Unstoppable destruction.

Amperzand

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3163 on: February 07, 2016, 03:53:38 am »
Quote from: Egan_BW on February 07, 2016, 03:10:20 am
A.) Santa's Penis.

Ah, but you cannot be certain he does not possess the dexterity to install a lightbulb with it.
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Muh FG--OOC Thread
Quote from: smirk
Quote from: Shadowlord
Is there a word that combines comedy with tragedy and farce?
Heiterverzweiflung. Not a legit German word so much as something a friend and I made up in German class once. "Carefree despair". When life is so fucked that you can't stop laughing.
http://www.collinsdictionary.com

Orange Wizard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3164 on: February 07, 2016, 04:23:13 am »
Merry prehensile penis man
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Quote from: Loud Whispers on June 04, 2016, 07:55:42 pm
Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Quote from: Cinder on July 21, 2016, 09:25:53 pm
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.
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