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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 646871 times)

Starver

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4305 on: April 17, 2019, 05:00:29 pm »

Knock knock

Who's there?

Me

Oh nice. Haven't seen you in a while. Come on in and have a beer.
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TD1

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4306 on: April 17, 2019, 05:15:45 pm »

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
I said, "who's there?!?!"
*Walter White shakes his head on the other side of the door.*
Knock knock.
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4307 on: April 20, 2019, 09:26:53 pm »

I got baited by a master baiter known for causing mass debates here. My mast soon abated.
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pisskop

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4308 on: April 21, 2019, 12:03:48 am »

better than some kind of mastahcheese
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smjjames

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4309 on: April 30, 2019, 10:28:35 am »

This one:

Back to politics, Betsy Devos is the actual fucking satan devil and I'll fight everyone on that.

Hehe, betcha think ye'r funny.

Give him a week to figure out how to bill separated families for daycare. Because, obviously, refugee jail is just summer camp.

Its a summer camp to help those with ADD.  A concentration camp, if you will.

Bad joke, come on man. XD
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Iduno

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4310 on: April 30, 2019, 12:59:45 pm »

Sure, that's in bad taste, but it's actually almost a good joke.


Kind of like the "What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves (the guy who played Superman in the movies)?" joke from however many years ago.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's poking fun at what would be a tragedy if it didn't happen to a rich person, but the homophones make for a decent pun. Although by now it's stopped being timely.
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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4311 on: April 30, 2019, 01:48:08 pm »

It’s only funny if you know Christopher Reeve was crippled when he was thrown from his horse.

For a given definition of funny, I guess.
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TheBeardyMan

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4312 on: May 08, 2019, 05:52:05 am »

What do you call a search engine for finding household cleaning products?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Kagus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4313 on: May 14, 2019, 03:53:57 am »

My wife and I are celebrating our Tachyon anniversary, we were married next year!

Arx

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4314 on: May 14, 2019, 03:56:16 am »

My wife and I are celebrating our Tachyon anniversary, we were married next year!

I was going to tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn't like it.
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pikachu17

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4315 on: May 14, 2019, 01:13:19 pm »

Werner Heisenberg is driving his car when he is stopped by a police officer.
The officer asks "Did you know were moving at 90 M.P.H?"
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Arx

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4316 on: May 14, 2019, 01:52:17 pm »

Werner Heisenberg is driving his car when he is stopped by a police officer.
The officer asks "Did you know were moving at 90 M.P.H?"
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

There is a great, allegedly true, story about one of the professors in my university's physics department, revolving around this joke.

Said professor was slightly drunk and exceeding the speed limit, when he was stopped by a police officer. For whatever reason, whether just to lighten the mood or in a genuine (really weak) effort to avoid the ticket, the professor complained that he couldn't know how fast he was going without losing track of where he was.

The police officer replied, deadpan and in a thick Afrikaans accent (replace with your local stereotypical country bumpkin accent): "You, sir, are not a quantum object."
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Iduno

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4317 on: May 21, 2019, 09:27:18 am »

Kagus is learning math now (congratulations). I'm just dy-ing to find out how far he gets.

Also, my favorite version for the Heisenberg joke is "Do you know how fast you were going?" "No, but I know exactly where I am."
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Kagus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4318 on: May 24, 2019, 04:09:09 am »

Q: If you put a kilo of iron and a kilo of feathers on a scale, what weighs the most?



A: The scale.

Arx

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4319 on: May 24, 2019, 04:26:46 am »

Q: If you put a kilo of iron and a kilo of feathers on a scale, what weighs the most?



A: Yo momma.

These jokes are still relevant, right...?
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