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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 653326 times)

pikachu17

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4440 on: March 12, 2020, 02:07:42 pm »

You need to use the phrase "Craig's list" at some point.
When on a sinking boat, preferably.
Also, Craig needs to say that he is stoned.
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Rolan7

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4441 on: March 12, 2020, 11:02:13 pm »

I enjoy the Ashens channel, but the ones where he tastes expired foodstuffs is an *awful* form of comedy.  Just as bad as, say, those shows where the joke is people actually got hurt in real life.  And yet when Ashens does it, it remains a guilty pleasure.

Well he got together with someone who should be far above such mistakes, Tom Scott, to sample some expired... water.

(Also, tween-me found Stinkyfeet hilarious (I recommend not looking it up).  That was literally an image blog of someone who gave himself foot fungus.  I was literally a child but... eugh.)
(In my defense it was a followup of when he did the same thing to a slab of meat (Stinkymeat) which was just as fascinating and educational and infinitely less horrifying)
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Iduno

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4442 on: March 13, 2020, 07:53:41 am »

I enjoy the Ashens channel, but the ones where he tastes expired foodstuffs is an *awful* form of comedy.  Just as bad as, say, those shows where the joke is people actually got hurt in real life.  And yet when Ashens does it, it remains a guilty pleasure.

Well he got together with someone who should be far above such mistakes, Tom Scott, to sample some expired... water.

(Also, tween-me found Stinkyfeet hilarious (I recommend not looking it up).  That was literally an image blog of someone who gave himself foot fungus.  I was literally a child but... eugh.)
(In my defense it was a followup of when he did the same thing to a slab of meat (Stinkymeat) which was just as fascinating and educational and infinitely less horrifying)

So you're telling me the video of a man gargling with methylated spirits and spitting it out wasn't funny? He knew what he was doing, was careful not to swallow, and did the thing.
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Yoink

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4443 on: March 26, 2020, 01:40:49 pm »

(Shared by a friend on Facebook)   


An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"   

"Yes."
"Oui."
"Si."
"Ja."   
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Iduno

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4444 on: March 26, 2020, 01:43:22 pm »

(Shared by a friend on Facebook)   


An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"   

"Yes."
"Oui."
"Si."
"Ja."   

It took me a minute, but very good.
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4445 on: March 26, 2020, 07:58:55 pm »

(Shared by a friend on Facebook)   


An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"   

"Yes."
"Oui."
"Si."
"Ja."   
It took me a bit too, good one
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Iduno

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4446 on: April 07, 2020, 12:36:39 pm »

Ok, so someone was talking engineering in the Other Games forum, and I remembered this old gem:

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a chemical engineer are having beers after work, and get to talking.

The mechanical engineer speaks up "The human body is amazing. It's a self-repairing machine capable of fueling itself and running on tight tolerances. If there is a god, they're a mechanical engineer."

The electrical engineer replies "Ah, but the entire machine is powered by wires capable of contracting muscles to move the machine, running in a liquid environment with only rare electrical shorts, and powered by a computer we can't manage to replicate yet. If there is a god, they're an electrical engineer."

"Bah" says the chemical engineer. "God's a civil."

The other two, expecting a retort about electrochemical potentials or the citric acid cycle look confused, and ask for an explanation.

"Who else, but a civil, would run a waste line through a recreation area?"
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methylatedspirit

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4447 on: April 08, 2020, 04:41:02 am »

What's another way to describe the act of doing origami at your place of residence?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Trekkin

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4448 on: April 08, 2020, 06:01:40 am »

"Who else, but a civil, would run a waste line through a recreation area?"

You know, I've heard this joke from many a biology student, and for the sake of accuracy I have to point out that this is actually a relatively rare mutation. The dominant trait is to actually route waste directly into the neurocranium; once this space is completely filled, excess waste is expelled via the oral cavity.

In fairness, the joke was made when the penetrance of this allele was only estimated from analyses of undergraduate students. Conclusive proof of fixation had to wait for social media.
« Last Edit: April 08, 2020, 06:03:48 am by Trekkin »
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Iduno

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4449 on: April 08, 2020, 10:52:27 am »

"Who else, but a civil, would run a waste line through a recreation area?"

You know, I've heard this joke from many a biology student, and for the sake of accuracy I have to point out that this is actually a relatively rare mutation. The dominant trait is to actually route waste directly into the neurocranium; once this space is completely filled, excess waste is expelled via the oral cavity.

In fairness, the joke was made when the penetrance of this allele was only estimated from analyses of undergraduate students. Conclusive proof of fixation had to wait for social media.

Pretty good.


Edit: https://twitter.com/palecur/status/1248010783394369537 I can't tell if this belongs here, or things that made you laugh.
« Last Edit: April 09, 2020, 10:50:30 am by Iduno »
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Iduno

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4450 on: April 10, 2020, 09:42:48 am »

As I spend more a higher percentage of my energy thinking about food, is anyone else delighted/disturbed that the brand of canned goods is called Goya?
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4451 on: April 10, 2020, 09:44:44 am »

As I spend more a higher percentage of my energy thinking about food, is anyone else delighted/disturbed that the brand of canned goods is called Goya?
Never heard of Goya, but reading your sentence made me hungry
Edit: just clicked it, should have looked at image before commenting whoops
A canned food named after whstever thst thing is is weird
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Iduno

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4452 on: April 10, 2020, 09:52:22 am »

As I spend more a higher percentage of my energy thinking about food, is anyone else delighted/disturbed that the brand of canned goods is called Goya?
Never heard of Goya, but reading your sentence made me hungry
Edit: just clicked it, should have looked at image before commenting whoops
A canned food named after whstever thst thing is is weird

Fransisco Goya was the painter of that painting (Saturn Devouring His Son). I don't know how widely these guys distribute.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2020, 09:54:53 am by Iduno »
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Egan_BW

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4453 on: April 10, 2020, 03:23:44 pm »

Pretty normal around here.
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Kagus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4454 on: April 13, 2020, 02:55:20 am »

https://twitter.com/palecur/status/1248010783394369537 I can't tell if this belongs here, or things that made you laugh.
This is completely awful. Thank you. I must now inflict this suffering upon others.


I also appreciate that the first product preview to show up for me on the Goya website was a nice, juicy, pulpy can of pumpkin puree.
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